May 25, 2018

Genuinely delusional

#The Sun #Four-fer-one #Hamilton Academicals two #Royal Wedding #Yeah #There’s more #Genuinely delusional #Prince Harry #Meghan Markle #Britain #Other countries look up to us #Oh god #Brexit #The EU #America #The Commonwealth #British exceptionalism #Luvvies #Dream on #They actually believe this stuff #That’s the scary part #That and they get to vote #That’s even scarier

pointless-letters

Feb 22, 2018

BREXIT: Look, honestly, I don't even know where to begin with this lot.

#Daily Star #Daily Telegraph #Four-fer-one #Brexit #The War #What war?#Any war #Any war will do #Britain #Germany #Brussels #The place #Not the sprouts #Unless I've massively misread this entire Brexit thing #If I have I'm sorry #4th Reich #That's right #Likening the EU #To a 4th Reich #Reparations #German rules #Politics #Britain to rule Britons #True English Man #Who no doubt was equally enthusiastic about the idea of devolved parliaments #Economic colonialism #Declare war #I don't even know where to start

pointless-letters

Apr 6, 2018

PROGRESS: So in one day, in one newspaper, on one letters page, we’ve got people calling for the death penalty, public caning, deportations and the worryingly vague “permanent removal” of criminals.

#The Sun #Britain in 2018 #Progress #Four-fer-one #One letters page #One paper #One day #Crime and punishment #Death penalty #Public canings #Deporation #Permanent removal #Whatever the hell that is #The law #Crimes #Police #Killing and violence is wrong #Say Sun readers #As they demand the state resumes killing people #And publicly brutalises others in prolonged acts of violence #Logic #Soft hearted #Tough love #Thugs #Bet every one of these people have tutted about news reports showing the brutality of organisations like Islamic State #I’d stick a fucking tenner on it #Why not go the whole hog and bring in public guillotines #We could charge for admission #Fun day out for all the family

pointless-letters

Sep 30, 2017

"Marjorie! MARJORIE! Two women are dancing on Strictly, look! Quick! Get mother to the panic room, I'll grab the carriage clock and the Spitfire painting!"

#Daily Mail #Daily Star #Daily Express #Four-fer-one #Strictly Come Dancing #Strictly #SCD #Gay people #Lesbian people #Transgender people #No objection #Just to be clear #Absolutely no objections at all #But #PLEASE STOP BANGING YOUR DRUMS #YOUR GAY LESBIAN OR TRANSGENDER DRUMS #Strictly is a show for everyone #Just not the gays #Or the lesbians #Or trans people #But everyone else #Totally welcome #Equality #Same-sex couples #Well I shan't be watching #That'll learn 'em #It's not a dating game #Homophobia #Transphobia #Intolerance

pointless-letters

Oct 14, 2017

PROPORTIONAL RESPONSE: Government proposes consultation on making organ donation an opt-out process. Mail readers promptly propose consultation on losing their collective shit.

#Daily Mail #Four-fer-one #Organ donation #Opt out #Donor cards #Carried them for years #So we're ok with donating our organs #But despite this just being talking about a consultation #So talking about talking #About something that wouldn't affect us anyway #We're ok with fucking over people waiting for transplants #That'll learn 'em #YOU SHOW THEM #The government #The EU #THE FUCKING EU THOUGH #Immoral #Control #Body snatching #Just like it #Except it isn't #At all #In any way whatsoever #Losing their shit #Callous wankers

pointless-letters

Dec 4, 2017

Barmier and barmier about Barnier...

#The Sun #The Metro #Daily Mail #Daily Telegraph #Four-fer-one #Forfar One #Hamilton Academicals Two #Michel Barnier #The EU #Brexit #Britain #1940s #German #The war #Oranges #Grapefruits #The USSR #White flag #He'd deliberately turn up with grapefruits #I mean seriously #wtf #Fanatic's stare #Islamic State #This is where we are now

pointless-letters

Sep 9, 2017

It's a rich, full life, isn't it?

#Daily Mail #Four-fer-one #Language #English #Words #Shaking an angry fist at the world #Absolutely #Like #Basically #Twice #Americanisms #How amusing #Incessant use #Supposedly erudite people #Not like me #Sitting here #Writing this letter #Grammar #Two times per million #Thrice #Never used now #More's the pity #BROKEN BRITAIN #Why today stinks #It's a rich full life

pointless-letters

Jun 29, 2017

3 weeks after the election, and we're at 35 letters complaining about how young voters voted the wrong way / voted in the wrong place / might have voted fraudulently / are naive / are deluded. 35.

#Daily Mail #Daily Express #The Sun #Four-fer-one #General Election #Voters #Young people #Three weeks out #And the letters keep coming #35 now #Complaining #They voted the wrong way #They voted fraudulently #They're naive #They want something for nothing #They're deluded #Labour MP #Was voted in #In Exeter #EXETER #There ought to be a law #I ASK YOU #BLOODY EXETER #Jeremy Corbyn #They've been conned #Half-naked #Privileged few #Marginal seats #Should I call you a waaaaah-mbulance?#WAAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAH

#four-fer-one

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