#foxxvent

[piratekingfoxx]

Blehbleh emotional vomit

I'm a cold, selfish thing. I wish I could help you but I can't even help myself. The only monster here is me.

I don't want to lose you. But I can't blame you. I wouldn't wanna stay with me either.

I love you sunshine.

[piratekingfoxx]

Yeah, that hits home hard. I'm not allowed to be sad. I'm not allowed to be mad. I'm only allowed to be a simpering fool. So be it. I'll be the rock for everyone. I'll help you and coddle you. I'll do everything in my power to make everyone happy.

But I'll drink away my sadness and put on a fake smile. No one cares about Riley. No one's ever cared about such a pathetic beast. 

You're nothing but a monster. Always have been, always will be. There's a reason you didn't have any friends until you started drinking.

[piratekingfoxx]

I need like alternating weekends for my boyfriend and my friends. LIke first two weekends are for CarCon, sencon two are for the bf. 

I feel like the child of divorced parents holy fucking shit. :|

[piratekingfoxx]

Ugh. I feel like such a fucking failure. I can't make my boyfriend happy, in fact I'm doing the exact opposite. I'm trying to bite my tongue because my need to get the last word usually only makes it worse.

I need a fucking drink.

But I don't even have that luxury since my boyfriend and my roommate hid all my booze. 

I self medicate. A lot. But it keeps me from being uncontrollably angry and worse of a person. Because I am too weak to deal with certain things. 

When did I become such a mess?

[piratekingfoxx]

Out of the three people I had semi-plans with, all of them cancelled. Deeming it too much work to grab me and my boyfriend. And I'm sorry but my apartment's hella small. It can BARELY fit me and my roommate. So excuse me if I'm not keen on the idea of a bunch of people coming over.

God fucking dammit. I'm so irritated right now. Fuck everyone, I'll spend my New Years asleep. Since this year is coming to the worst close imaginable.