seen from France
seen from Moldova
seen from Poland
seen from United States

seen from Russia

seen from Indonesia

seen from Argentina
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Mexico

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
Violent Reactions - Chapter Eleven
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: M
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Possible seeming out of character-ness due to altered character back stories, High school AU, child abuse mention, torture, blood, violence, rape mention, death/murder
Nightmares Arc
They let Kanda go the next day and after letting Jien know he was all right – more or less- he crashed at Kanda’s, something Jien agreed on since Gojyo looked and felt like death warmed over. The first night he was so tired he slept like a log. The second night was less peaceful.
Gojyo opened his door and walked down the hall towards the kitchen, which was weird because he thought he fell asleep at Kanda, but whatever. Walking through his kitchen, he found himself in a larger open space. It seemed familiar but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He heard something off to his left and he spun to look at it. Nothing was there.
Weird. Unease grew in Gojyo’s chest. Turning back he came face to face with his mother. He stumbled back into a chair that hadn’t been there before. She had rope and slipped behind him, tying him to the chair. Gojyo struggled but it was no use; he was securely tied. The person who came around front again wasn’t his mother but the ass from the warehouse. He cupped Gojyo’s cheek and Gojyo flinched away in disgust. The man tutted, “That will never do. Think of your little friend.” Kanda was tied to a chair again; head lolled forward, bleeding and not moving. Gojyo tried to call out, but his words seemed to stick in his throat, choking him. He struggled in the chair again, only managing to knock himself over. Kanda seemed like he was getting farther away and Gojyo struggled harder trying to call out. Soon he was alone in the warehouse, trapped and panicked in the dark, still struggling to get free.
.
Kanda stirred when he heard Gojyo move in his sleep. Figuring it was a normal shift, Kanda was about to fall asleep when Gojyo moved again. Frowning and still half asleep, Kanda rolled onto his side to look at Gojyo. They’d shared a room enough times for Kanda to know that Gojyo didn’t move that frequently unless he was awake.
“Gojyo?” he hissed. When he got no response he pushed himself up slowly, biting down on a groan. “Gojyo, you awake?”
Still receiving no response, Kanda frowned. Gojyo moved again, rolling over so his back was to Kanda. Kanda grumbled to himself, knowing that if Gojyo didn’t stop moving around, he wasn’t going to get anymore sleep.
“Oi!” he snapped in a whisper, reaching out and shaking Gojyo’s shoulder.
When Gojyo showed no sign of waking, and moved again Kanda felt a spark of irritation and snatched his pillow, slapping it down on Gojyo’s shoulder. “Would you wake up already? Jesus…”
.
That woke him up. He started awake, frozen now that he was awake, drawing in a deep shaky breath. It took him a minute to realize he was in Kanda’s room and not tied to a chair in some empty space. He rolled onto his back. “Hey.”
.
“Don’t you hey me,” Kanda grumbled. “You were squirming more than a worm on hot pavement. Are you okay?”
.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. The echoes of his dream were starting to fade, but he was still shaking off his fight or flight response.
.
“You don’t have to apologize,” Kanda muttered, slumping back down so he was sprawled across the floor. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it wasn’t uncomfortable either.
.
“I woke you up though right?” he asked sitting up.
.
“I’m not exactly a heavy sleeper,” Kanda said. What could he say to that, honestly? Yeah, he’d woken up, but it wasn’t exactly Gojyo’s fault. And telling him that he always woke up when Gojyo moved wasn’t exactly going to help. Well, neither was what he’d already said, but that had felt the safest at the time.
.
Gojyo moved over and lay down next to Kanda. He was just short of touching. “Can I?” It had only been a few days and Gojyo didn’t wanna cause any pain by pulling him close and never letting go.
.
“Do as you please,” Kanda mumbled, shuffling a bit closer and flopping. At least they were touching now.
.
Gojyo scooted closer and carefully wrapped his arms around Kanda, holding him close.
.
Kanda hummed contently, shifting a bit until he was comfortable, his arm slung over Gojyo’s side. “Warm,” he murmured, burying his face in Gojyo’s shoulder.
.
Gojyo smiled and drifted back into a more peaceful sleep.
It had been five days since Gojyo’s nightmare. Really, that was the only logical explanation he could come up with to explain that night’s events. Five days since the nightmare and a full week since the abduction and Kanda was beginning to think he was going to get away lucky this time.
Gojyo was over again and it was reassuring. Reassuring enough that Kanda fell asleep without any hesitation even though an incoming cold front had had the broken bones in his hand aching all day. Maybe he should have known. It started raining as he fell asleep.
Kanda blinked his eyes open and found himself standing in the warehouse again. The chairs were still there, ropes lying on the ground around them. Memories flickered at the edges or his vision like they were being played on an old projector. He watched as the yakuza goons cut on him and beat on Gojyo.
When he looked down, his woods were open again, and then he heard gun shots and pain ripped through his back, the one place they hadn’t touched. Stumbling forward, Kanda landed on his knees. It hurt. A lot. But he wasn’t dying. He wasn’t dying…
A hand fisted in his hair, jerking his head back and Kanda saw the face of the boss. That bastard. His neck was a ragged mess from when Kanda had slashed his throat but he was so very obviously alive despite the blood trickling down and the fact that Kanda could see the cartilage of his trachea.
“You’re dead,” Kanda grit out.
“No sweetheart,” the boss said. “We’re not.”
Kanda felt hands on him then, tugging and pulling and ripping his clothes. They pinned him down against the blood soaked concrete, their blood mixing with his. Then they flipped him over, onto his hands and knees, and a hand was fisted in his hair again while someone pried his mouth open. He struggled, screaming and fighting, but it wasn’t working and he knew what was coming.
.
Gojyo didn’t know what woke him up. He shifted to get comfortable again when he looked over at Kanda who was clearly in the throws of a bad dream. It’s not that he moved or said anything but Gojyo could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest and the rapid movement of his eyes under his eyelids. He rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. “Hey, man. Wake up.”
When Kanda didn’t wake, Gojyo shook his shoulder firmly. “Kanda, wake up.”
.
Kanda jerked awake, sitting up fast and choking on air. Panting, he pulled his knees up and slumped against them, running both hands through his hair repeatedly to get rid of the feeling that someone was gripping it.
.
Gojyo sat up next to Kanda but didn’t touch him, giving him space. “Hey, you ok?”
.
Kanda startled at the sound of Gojyo’s voice, head snapping to look at the older teen, eyes wide. It took another second for his brain to register what Gojyo had said before he nodded vigorously. “I-I’m fine,” managed to say, calming slightly. He closed his eyes and hugged his knees to his chest. “It was just a dream. Just a dream.” He trailed off and opened his eyes, shaking his head. He couldn’t close his eyes yet. The dream just picked up again every time even though he wasn’t asleep.
.
The look of shock and terror on Kanda’s face pulled at Gojyo’s heart. He moved closer, resting a hand on Kanda’s shoulder. “You’re safe, okay?” All he wanted to do was pull Kanda close, but he wasn’t sure if Kanda wanted a hug right now.
.
Kanda leaned into the hand on his shoulder slightly and nodded. He was safe. He knew he was safe. He was inside, at home, and the door was locked. It didn’t stop the dream from plucking at the edges of his consciousness though, and he found himself pulling away from Gojyo to grab Mugen. Once he had the sword clutched tightly in his unbroken hand he moved to sit next to Gojyo, leaning against him slightly.
“They’re dead, right?” he asked.
.
Gojyo stopped himself from brushing it off with humor. “Yeah, they are,” he said wrapping an arm around Kanda’s shoulders.
.
Kanda slumped against Gojyo’s side. “Good,” he muttered, keeping up a mantra of ‘they’re dead’ inside his head. “I’m sorry.”
.
“Meh, nothing to be sorry for.”
.
“So you say,” Kanda said. He sighed, sitting up a bit. “Sorry, we should get back to sleep.”
.
“Hey,” Gojyo said trying to get Kanda’s attention. “We’ll be all right, okay?”
.
Kanda stared at Gojyo for a short moment, scanning his face in the dark. He couldn’t see details well, but he could see them well enough. He nodded. “We’ll be all right,” he agreed, before leaning over and kissing Gojyo on the cheek. “Thank you, for waking me up.”
.
“No problem. Didn’t look like it was much fun.” He lay down, “come ’ere you.”
.
“It wasn’t,” Kanda agreed, setting Mugen down within reaching distance and lying down beside Gojyo, curling up against him.
.
Gojyo kissed the top of his head as he wrapped his arms around Kanda, closing his eyes.
.
Kanda hummed quietly, wrapping an arm around Gojyo and closing his eyes. Wrapped up in Gojyo’s warmth, the dream lost its hold and the remainder of Kanda’s sleep was dreamless.
Violent Reactions - Chapter Ten
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: M
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Possible seeming out of character-ness due to altered character back stories, High school AU, child abuse mention, torture, blood, violence, rape reference, death/murder
~*~
Abduction Arc
~*~
Kanda groaned when he woke up. Something wasn’t right, and it wasn’t just the pain blooming in the back of his skull. Pistol whipped. A feeling that he had hoped he would never feel again, and one he had hoped he wouldn’t necessarily recognize should he experience it. But the something that wasn’t right was the also all too familiar feeling of being tied to a chair.
“Fuck,” he muttered, blinking his eyes open. They appeared to be in an abandoned warehouse, or maybe a factory. He couldn’t really tell as it was rather empty but for the chair that was sitting five feet away with Gojyo tied to it. “Double fuck.”
He lifted his head, groaning, and looked around. For now, whoever had taken them wasn’t present. He didn’t know how long that would last. “Gojyo,” he hissed. “Gojyo, wake up.”
.
Gojyo heard Kanda calling his name and started to come to. What the hell happened and why did his head hurt? Did Mom get the better of him this time? No wait; he was tied to a chair. That was new. He opened his eyes to a warehouse and Kanda also tied to a chair “Dude, where the fuck are we?” he groaned.
.
“I have no idea,” Kanda said, testing his bonds. They were well done, and he hissed in irritation. Of course they were. He didn’t have to think much on it, he knew who had taken them. The ripped state of his shirt and the bandages beneath was evidence enough. Tiedoll was an idiot for bringing him back to this god forsaken country.
“Tch, if only I had a knife,” Kanda muttered.
“Oh, I don’t think we’ll be letting you have one of those,” A voice said from behind Kanda. He tensed, trying to twist around to see who had spoken. A glimpse of expensive black and red silk and a tail of long black hair were all he could see.
“You bastard,” Kanda snarled. “You’re only after me. Why did you take us both?”
“We know you’re harder to break,” the man said.
“You’ve done it before,” Kanda snapped.
“You were already broken then,” the man returned.
“And you think the scars make me stronger?” Kanda hissed. “You do not touch my friends. You do not. When I get out of here I will kill you. I will kill every last one of you.”
.
“Um, I don’t know what’s going on here but, uh, what the fuck is going on?” Gojyo asked, straining against his bonds.
.
“You’re our key,” the man said. “Our key to breaking our feisty little swordsman over here.”
“Leave him alone,” Kanda snapped, glaring as the man moved across the room to stand beside Gojyo. The man ran a long fingered hand down the back of Gojyo’s head before fisting it in his hair and yanking. Kanda snarled, tugging at his bonds.
“So protective,” the man crooned. “And yet you’re just as helpless as the first time. Remember that little girl we took? So like your sister. You were begging.”
.
“Fuck you! Don’t fucking touch me!” He snarled through gritted teeth.
.
The man just laughed, patting Gojyo on the cheek and moving to stand by Kanda, crouching down so he was closer to eye level. “You’ll answer us this time, or a tattoo isn’t the only mark we’ll leave,” the man said. With a twitch of his fingers two other men entered the vast emptiness of the warehouse, moving to stand on either side of Gojyo.
“I don’t know the answers you’re looking for,” Kanda snapped. “I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. Why do you think that’s changed?”
“You know,” the man said, twisting on the balls of his feet to look at Gojyo. “And if you don’t speak, we’ll mess up your boy toy.”
“He’s not my boy toy,” Kanda snarled.
“So you’re his?” the man teased. Kanda hissed at him but said nothing. “I guess you don’t care if we break him then.”
“Don’t fucking touch him,” Kanda snapped.
.
Gojyo really didn’t like this guy and he really didn’t like where this was going. He kept his mouth shut this time though, knowing his smart mouth won’t do them any favors.
.
“So you do care,” the man said. “More than you cared for that little girl.” Kanda saw him twitch his fingers a split second before a fist collided with Gojyo’s cheek.
“Oi!” Kanda shouted. “I don’t know anything and beating him up isn’t going to magically make me know whatever it is you’re looking for!”
.
Gojyo’s head snapped to the side. That hurt, but he slammed his poker face into place. “Wow that was a shitty punch, I know eight year olds that hit harder than you.”
.
“Your boyfriend’s got a smart mouth on him,” the man said. “Its’ gonna get him a lot more hurt than that little love tap.”
“What do you want?” Kanda snarled, glaring. “I don’t know anything.”
“Of course you know,” the man crooned. “You were there. Your training means you know.”
“I was where?” Kanda snapped.
Another twitch of the man’s fingers and two punches landed. Another across Gojyo’s face and the second to his stomach.
.
Any smart retort Gojyo would have made was forced from his mind as pain rolled through him. He leaned against his bonds trying to curl up. “You fuckin’ bastard,” he gritted out.
.
“I was where?!” Kanda yelled. “God damn it! I can’t tell you anything if you don’t tell me what I’m supposed to be remembering!”
“Now, now, we’ll get to that, but this is a lot more fun,” the man said. “And it will make you more talkative. I can tell, it’s working already.” Another punch, this one powerful enough to knock someone out, landed on Gojyo’s temple.
.
Annnnd he was out.
.
“Hmm, too bad,” the man said. “I guess we’ll just have to work on you for a while.” The man stood up and Kanda saw his fingers twitch before two more men appeared by his sides. The man grinned, pulling out a decorative fan and snapping it open.
Kanda glared but refused to speak. He had no idea what was going on and he wasn’t saying a god damn thing until he knew Gojyo was at least something that resembled okay. It seemed like the fan was another signal though because the next second he felt an all too familiar bite against his arm. He groaned but said nothing and the man just grinned.
The next five minutes was a dance of pain, long shallow cuts drawn along arms, legs, and torso. One even dallied up onto his cheek. By the end, the man was frowning.
“It seems this pain is one you are too familiar with,” the man said. “Wake his boyfriend. I have plans tonight.”
.
It was cold and it was wet. Gojyo started back into consciousness when he was suddenly doused with water. His head hurt where he had been knocked out. He shook the water out of his eyes but regretted it when it felt like he rattled his brain. That’s when he saw Kanda, “Shit, Kanda!”
.
“I’m fine,” Kanda snapped. “They’re just scratches.”
“Just scratches, he says,” the man said, laughing. “How would you like it if we turned the knife on your pretty friend? Or, we could do something worse than that.”
“He’s got nothing to do with it,” Kanda snarled, yanking on his bonds again. The blood trickling down his arms was making the ropes slippery, but it was also causing them to swell and he cursed mentally. He’d never be able to get the knots undone at this rate. “What do you want?”
“Mostly? To see you scream again,” the man said. “But I would love to get some answers from you too before I use you up and kill you.”
“You’ll find that to be a lot harder than you were bargaining for,” Kanda hissed. “Better cancel your plans.”
“Oh, I can wait,” the man said. “I have weeks before anyone finds us here, and by then I can destroy your little friend, and you.”
.
“You’re a sick fuck,” Gojyo growled.
.
“And you’re a dirty little slut,” the man said, rounding on Gojyo and snapping his fan closed, drawing it down Gojyo’s cheek. “I’m sure you would be a lot of fun.”
.
“Ugh, get off me ya dirty freak. You’re just upset no one with eyes would wanna bang your ugly mug.”
.
“Feisty, I like you,” the man said. He turned to the goons standing on either side of Gojyo’s chair. “You have one minute, starting now. Pound him real good for me, won’t you boys?”
.
“Aw, fuck,” Gojyo said just before the first fist collided with his face. The next minute was probably one of the most painful beat downs he’d ever experienced. When it was over he was bleeding, certain something was probably either broken or fractured, and one of his eyes was swelling shut. Fuck… but he grinned anyway with blood staining his teeth, “That’s it? My mom hits harder than these guys.”
.
“And I’m sure she’s gorgeous,” the boss man said. He rounded on Kanda. “Now, would you like it if we kept this up? Or we could switch. You look so good in purple and purple is clashing with his hair. Blood, on the other hand, seems to compliment it nicely.”
.
Gojyo spat a nice glob of blood at the boss man.
.
“Cute,” the boss said, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping off his face. “Now, how about you tell me everything that happened.”
“You abducted us and started beating on him and cutting on me,” Kanda said.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” the boss said. “You were there. I remember your pretty little face. So innocent back then, but you could still take a cutting.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kanda snapped. “You haven’t told me what you want me to remember!”
“A location,” the boss said.
.
“Look asshole, if he doesn’t know, he doesn’t fucking know. So why don’t you take you’re brainless apes over there and fuck off!” Gojyo was getting real tired of this shit.
.
The boss glared over his shoulder. “Because this is part of his payment. He’s ours. Has been for years,” the boss said. “Information isn’t all we want from him, so sit back and watch, because this time, I want to hear you beg. Beg us to stop.”
One man standing next to Kanda slipped on brass knuckles and the other pulled out a wicked looking knife. A punch landed on Kanda’s jaw the same time the knife sank into his thigh and he screamed. The boss grinned cruelly, sitting on the arm of Gojyo’s chair.
“Do you want us to stop now, or do you think he can handle more?” the boss asked, slinging an arm around Gojyo’s shoulders. “Because the second that knife touches his torso he’s dead. You know that, right?”
.
“You’re out of your god damn fucking mind! So fucking help me when I get out of this chair I’m going fucking rip you to pieces!”
.
“He’s mine,” Kanda snarled, jerking against his bonds. Another punch landed, knocking his head to the side and he glared.
“No, I’m afraid you’re mistaken,” the boss said. “You are mine, and I’ll own you until you die and then some.”
“I will skin you,” Kanda hissed.
“Big words for a boy who can’t walk,” the boss said.
.
Gojyo pulled again at the ropes starting to rub his wrist raw. “I dunno Kanda, you might have to fight me first over who gets to take out this pile of garbage.”
.
“Maybe another day,” Kanda said. He jerked against his bonds and there was a series of cracks that echoed through the near-silent warehouse, followed by a muffled groan. The boss sat up a bit straighter, frowning.
There wasn’t much time for anyone to react after that because Kanda slipped his broken hand through the rope around his wrist, grabbing the knife with his broken hand. He bit down on a scream, wrenching the knife from his thigh and slicing through the ropes binding his chest. He turned and plunged it into its owner’s gut.
Pulling it free, Kanda stabbed his other “torturer” before cutting his ankles loose and throwing the knife at the boss. It landed in his shoulder and the boss screamed, pulling a truly cruel grin to Kanda’s bloody face. “I told you I would kill you if you touched him.”
He lunged across the space between them, stealing a knife from one of the other goons, returning it in his neck. The last guy turned tail and ran, to which Kanda plucked the nine millimeter glock from the back of the man he’d just killed’s pants, shooting the running man until the glock stopped firing and the man fell on his face.
“You’re the last one left,” Kanda said, turning his attention back to the boss. “How would you like me to end you?”
“We own you,” the boss hissed. Kanda reached down with his good hand, twisting the knife before pulling it free and cutting Gojyo loose.
“Not anymore,” Kanda snarled.
.
“Damn.”
.
“Come on,” Kanda said, hooking his arm around Gojyo more in an effort to keep himself standing than anything, though being close to Gojyo was helping him calm down slightly.
.
“Here,” Gojyo said, sliding an arm under Kanda’s arms to hold him up. “Think you can walk?”
.
“If I don’t think about it,” Kanda said, leaning against Gojyo. “Are you okay?”
.
“I’m fine. Let’s get us out of here, yeah?” Gojyo took a step then stopped. “Do you know how to get out of here?”
.
“No clue,” Kanda said, stopping to lift another knife off one of his torturers. “We walk, and figure it out when we get there.”
.
“’Kay.” It didn’t take them too long to find one of the unloading doors that lead out into the back of the warehouse. From there the problem was locating the nearest payphone to call an ambulance. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Kanda was having a rough time. “How you holding up?”
.
“Hurt less a minute ago,” Kanda muttered. “What about you? You took a beating too.” He reached up with his unbroken hand, he brushing Gojyo’s hair out of his face, examining the bruises, swelling, and gashes. “How’s your head?”
.
“Meh, definitely had worse,” he said, brushing it off. “I can still see straight so it’s better than the time Jien brought me over.” Besides, he was far more worried about Kanda. “Lemme know if you need to stop because I can run ahead and find a phone instead of dragging you all the way over.”
.
“If I stop, I’m not moving again for a while,” Kanda said. “Let’s just keep walking. I’ll be fine.” Well, he hoped he’d be fine, because honestly, the world was starting to swim a bit. And not in a concussion sort of way.
.
After a little bit more Gojyo started to be seriously concerned about Kanda. “Dude, you look like hell. Hold on okay?” He got Kanda on an awkward piggyback. “I’m really glad you’re shorter than me right now.”
.
“I’m glad you’re not too hurt,” Kanda mumbled, wrapping his arms loosely around Gojyo’s shoulders, doing his best to hold himself up but not succeeding very well.
.
This was bad. This was very bad. Thankfully they came to the end of the street where a phone sat under a streetlight. “Oh thank the fucking gods,” Gojyo breathed. “Hang in there, ‘kay?” He said as he crossed the street and gently let Kanda off his back.
.
“’m not goin’ anywhere,” Kanda muttered. Once he’d been let down, he started patting down his pockets. “I think I have change.”
.
“I got change,” he said pulling out a dollar fifty in quarters. “What’s Tiedoll’s number?”
.
Kanda frowned for a moment before mumbling out the numbers, He shifted slightly, pushing himself up a bit. “I don’t know what we’re gonna tell him though.”
.
“Heh, that makes two of us.” Gojyo dialed the numbers and waited with the dial tone. Please pick up!
~*~
Tiedoll was in the kitchen working on a concept for yet another commission when the phone started ringing. It was an odd hour to be getting a phone call, though probably not that odd. He set down his charcoal and picked up the phone, cradling it between his ear and his shoulder as he wiped his hands off.
“Hello?”
.
“Tiedoll, you gotta come get us.”
.
“Come get you? Who is this?” Tiedoll asked, taking the phone in hand and switching ears, frowning.
.
“It’s Gojyo. Look some shit went down, Kanda’s bleeding a lot, and I dunno what to do, so if could come get us that would be great.”
.
“Where are you?’ Tiedoll said, moving back to the table and grabbing a scrap of paper and his charcoal. “And if Yuu-kun is bleeding, why not call 911 or something?”
.
“Well, we ran into some yakuza and I figured the police might be a bad idea. We’re under the street light at North and Park Street.”
.
“I’ll be there, ten minutes tops,” Tiedoll said. He didn’t wait for a response, hanging up and heading out. He barely remembered to lock the door.
The drive over took about eight minutes and true to Gojyo’s word, they were at a phone booth under a street lamp. And Yuu-kun did look to be in rather horrible shape. “Are you boys okay?” Tiedoll asked.
.
“That depends on what you think is okay,” Gojyo said, having gone back to holding Kanda up.
.
“Alive is at the beginning of that definition,” Tiedoll said, getting out to open the back door for them. “Come on, you both need a hospital.”
.
“Come on, man,” he said helping Kanda into the back of the car.
.
Kanda shuffled carefully into the back of the car, slumping against the seats. Tiedoll hurried back to the driver’s door, climbing in. The second Gojyo closed the door he headed off for the small hospital in town.
“After you’ve both been patched up, I want an explanation,” Tiedoll said.
“Whatever,” Kanda muttered.
.
Gojyo slipped a hand into Kanda’s and gave it a small squeeze.
.
Kanda gave a squeeze back letting himself slump over against Gojyo. He let his eyes close, and hoped the ride wouldn’t take too long because he was fairly certain he was going to pass out.
It took nearly fifteen minutes to get to the hospital and Tiedoll was somewhat concerned. Well, more than somewhat, but Yuu-kun hated when he fussed so he’d wait.
“Come on,” Tiedoll said. “Before you both pass out in the back seat and I have to carry you inside.”
“’m not passing out,” Kanda mumbled, forcing his eyes open to glare at the back of Tiedoll’s head.
.
“I’m good. Still might have to carry him inside though.” He was only half joking.
.
“Well then,” Tiedoll said. “We’d best hurry.”
He got out quickly and opened the back door, helping Gojyo help Kanda out. He slung one of Kanda’s arms over his shoulders and headed for the hospital entrance. “We need a doctor here,” Tiedoll called, shoving through the doors.
.
The next few minutes were a whirlwind. As soon as Tiedoll got the nurses’ attention it was like they all swarmed over at once. Kanda was whisked away from Gojyo’s sight as he was directed to another area where they cleaned him up and gave him some painkillers. He exaggerated when he said he was good, because really he hurt a lot and felt like hell, but Kanda had been his main priority.
.
When Kanda woke up he felt dozy in a way that suggested anesthetics. He squinted his eyes open to find glaring white hospital lights and groaned. Of course he’d ended up in a hospital. They weren’t going to let him out for a long while. Like a week, probably.
“Damn,” Kanda groaned, relaxing back against his bed. Everything hurt dully.
.
“Hey, look who’s back in the land of the living,” Gojyo said with barely contained relief when he heard Kanda start to wake up.
.
I didn’t know I died,” Kanda grumbled, turning his head towards the sound of Gojyo’s voice and cracking his eyes open. He reached out towards him slightly. “What about you? How’s your head?”
.
“Nothing serious. Not even a concussion this time.” Considering one of his eyes was still swollen shut and he was a mass of black and blue, it could have been a hell of a lot worse. “But how are you feelin’?”
.
“Like I got cut on by a bunch of bastards and stabbed in the leg,” Kanda said. “Are we in trouble for that?”
.
“I dunno, I’m really not sure what was going on so I told Tiedoll you’d explain. He just left to go get a soda so if you want to pretend to sleep, I’ll cover for you.”
.
“He knows when I’m faking,” Kanda grumbled, closing his eyes again.
“Indeed I do,” Tiedoll said, reentering the room. “Now that you’re awake, care to explain what happened?”
“Not too sure myself,” Kanda said. “We were abducted by my yakuza buddies from six years ago. They wanted information, and to make me beg.” He slung an arm over his eyes. “I killed them all when I got loose.”
“You killed them,” Tiedoll said.
“All five of them,” Kanda said.
.
“To be fair, I think they were going to kill us anyway.”
.
“Then you’re not in any legal trouble,” Tiedoll said. “They can’t charge you on self-defense.”
“I’m not telling anyone else,” Kanda said.
“There’s evidence you were there,” Tiedoll said. “The cops will show up eventually.”
.
“Great.” Gojyo really just wanted to sleep until all of this blew over, or for the next ten years, whichever came first.
.
“Now you know why I don’t have any friends,” Kanda said with a slight huff and an even slighter smirk.
.
“What does that make me, a side dish?” Gojyo smirked back. “Nah, it’d take a lot more than them to scare me off.”
.
“At least they won’t be coming back,” Kanda said, and Tiedoll flicked him on the forehead.
“You killed five people, don’t be so happy about it,” he chided, but he was smiling.
“You make it sound like it’s a common occurrence,” Kanda grumbled, rubbing at his forehead with his unbroken hand.
Violent Reactions - Chapter Nine
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: T
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Possible seeming out of character-ness due to altered character back stories, High school AU
~*~
Snowball Fight Arc
~*~
The snow was just over the top of Gojyo’s boots as he trekked over to Kanda’s. School had been cancelled due to the tons of snow they got the night before. Gojyo knocked on Kanda’s door.
.
Kanda had been curled up on the couch in a sweater with a book when a knock came at the door. ‘Who the hell is out and about on a day like today?’ Kanda thought, tossing a bookmark into his book and dropping it on the table as he unfolded from his seat on the couch, thick woolen socks making no noise against the floor as he walked to the door. He pulled it open and blinked when he saw Gojyo on the other side.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Kanda said, stepping aside to let Gojyo in.
.
“Hello to you too. Grab your boots and come out here,” he said with his huge lopsided grin.
.
“You’re kidding right?” Kanda said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s freezing out there.”
.
“Meh, it’s not too bad,” Gojyo himself was only in his usual hoodie.
.
“Uh-huh,” Kanda said, scoffing. “I’ll believe you when your cheeks aren’t pink when you show up.” Despite his complaining and general fussing, Kanda found his boots and pulled them on before scrounging up two hats, one with ear flaps and tassels, and one that was just a normal winter hat.
“Take your pick,” he said, offering both to Gojyo.
.
Gojyo took the one with earflaps because why not. “Come on!”
.
“What are we even doing?” Kanda asked, pulling his hat down over his ears as best he could before following Gojyo outside, closing the door behind him.
.
Gojyo waited until Kanda was entirely outside before hitting him square in the chest with a snowball.
.
“Oi!” Kanda yelped. “The hell?! I’ll get you for that!”
Grinning, Kanda stooped to make a snowball of his own, chucking it at Gojyo before running off down the street.
.
The snow ball went wide but Gojyo was already making another as he ran after Kanda and toss it at him.
.
Kanda felt the snow ball hit him in the back as he tripped over the curb hidden under the snow and fell. He rolled onto his back, making a quick snowball and throwing it at Gojyo, hitting him in the shoulder. Giving a cheering laugh at his success, Kanda made another snowball and scrambled to his feet, running off again, and cutting down an alley.
.
Gojyo didn’t feel the cold of the snowball as he raced after Kanda. He made another and followed after Kanda into the alley.
.
Kanda waited until Gojyo turned into the alley and threw the snowball at him, hitting him in the face. “Oh shit! Sorry!” he said, jogging back over.
.
“Aw, you suck!” he said as he threw his own snowball caching Kanda in the arm.
.
“I know,” Kanda said, smirking and pulling Gojyo down by the front of his sweatshirt so he could wipe the snow off his face. He pressed a quick peck to Gojyo’s lips before letting him go and running off again. “Catch me if you can and make me pay for it, why don’t you!”
.
Gojyo paused and smiled before darting after Kanda, “Oh you know it!” When he caught up with Kanda, grabbing his arm and dragging both into a snow bank.
.
“Ack! It’s cold!” Kanda yelped, rolling onto Gojyo in an attempt to get out of the snow, his hat falling off in the process. He tucked it into his back pocket, not bothering to put it back on. “You are evil.”
.
“Nope,” Gojyo said pushing him back down and stealing a quick kiss before getting up and laughing as he ran down the street.
.
“Gah!” Kanda exclaimed before jumping up and chasing after him. “I’ll get you!” He paused just long enough to grab a fistful of snow, lobbing it at Gojyo.
.
It hit him right between the shoulder blades. “AH! I’ve been hit! What happened to your shitty aim!” He grabbed a fistful of snow it threw it at Kanda.
.
“Those were rings!” Kanda shouted back, trying to duck the snowball and getting it right in the top of his head. “It’s a different sort of aim!”
.
Gojyo laughed as Kanda’s hair was now blanketed in snow. “Oh yeah? Well you’re still terrible at dodging snowballs,” it was a weak come back and he knew it but he threw a snowball just for emphasis.
.
“Only because they’re not knives,” Kanda shot back, grinning as he scooped up some more snow, crushing it into a snowball. He picked up his pace as much as he could considering the snow.
.
Gojyo ran picking up another snowball to get ready. He saw Kanda getting closer but his boot got stuck in the snow and came off. He fell backwards with the momentum and trying to keep his now bootless foot out of the snow.
.
“Ack! Shit!” Kanda said, slipping as he tried to stop and falling half on top of Gojyo. “Oof… Are you okay?”
.
“Well my foot’s a little cold, but I’m warm with you on top of me,” he grinned devilishly.
.
“Ha,” Kanda said. He pushed himself up, and sat in the snow. He reached down and pulled Gojyo’s boot out of the snow, smacking the excess snow off of it before half-assedly pulling it onto Gojyo’s foot.
.
“Mm, thanks,” he said. When the boot was back on he sat up. “Fuck it’s cold.”
.
“Yeah,” Kanda said. “Come on. Let’s go get something warm to drink.” He climbed to his feet and offered Gojyo a hand.
.
Gojyo took the hand and stood. He was shivering and wet from the snowballs and falling in the snow. “Race you there?”
.
“Race you there,” Kanda agreed, grinning. He was wet and shivering too, but it felt worth it. He set off running for the apartment.
.
“Hey! I never said go!” he called running after Kanda.
.
“Catch me if you can!” Kanda called back, grinning.
.
“Oh you’re asking for it now!” He sped up to catch Kanda and managed to do so just before the door where he wrapped his arms around him in a hug and turning him around before bolting up the stairs.
.
“Oi!” Kanda yelped, spinning on the ball of his foot and racing after Gojyo. He wanted to yell something about cheating just on instinct, but the fact that he had started before ‘go’ kept him silent… or as silent as you could be running up a staircase in snow boots.
.
Gojyo reached the door first. “Ha! I win!”
.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Kanda said laughing as he came to the landing. “Come on. Let’s get warmed up before we get sick.”
Gojyo slung an arm on Kanda, leaning on him. “Yeah, that would suck.”
.
“Tea or hot chocolate?” Kanda asked, pushing the door open.
.
“Hot chocolate,” Gojyo answer as he let go of Kanda to take off his boots and strip out of the now wet hoodie.
.
“Hot chocolate it is,” Kanda said, pulling off his own boots and his wet sweater.
“Oi! Tiedoll! Where’d you hide the hot chocolate?” Kanda shouted as he moved towards the kitchen.
“It’s three cabinets left of the tea,” Tiedoll called back.
“’Kay!”
“Come on,” Kanda said, disappearing into the kitchen.
.
Gojyo padded after him, his t-shirt wet where the snowballs hit him and the bottom where he sat in the snow.
.
Kanda hummed to himself as he dug through the cabinet for the hot chocolate. “Do you make yours with milk or water?” Kanda asked as he came up with a box of Swiss Miss hot chocolate.
.
“You can make it with milk?”
.
“Yeah,” Kanda said. He pulled a gallon of milk out of the fridge and filled two mugs. He put them in the microwave setting it for two minutes. “Can you pull these out when they’re done? I’m gonna go find us some dry clothes.”
.
“’Kay,” Gojyo rested his hands on the countertop watching the hot chocolate intensely.
.
“Thanks,” Kanda said, bumping his shoulder against Gojyo before leaving the room. He hurried to his room, quickly stripping off his wet clothes and pulling on new, warmer ones. After that he dug through the box of Marie’s old clothes, coming up with a pair of thick sweat pants, a long sleeve t-shirt, and a zip up hoodie. He returned to the kitchen quickly.
“Here are some dry clothes,” he said, lying them on the table near Gojyo. “I can probably find some socks if you want.”
.
“Meh, I don’t need ‘em, but thanks,” he said as the microwave binged. He handed one of the mugs to Kanda. He took a small sip. “Hot! Watch out,” he said as he burned the tip of his tongue and set down the mug.
.
“Yeah, it’s hot,” Kanda said, taking the mug from Gojyo and then stealing the one Gojyo kept for himself. “Go change. I don’t want you getting sick.”
.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said smiling and grabbing the clothes off the table as he left the room to change.
.
Kanda found a spoon and stirred his own hot chocolate after setting Gojyo’s down. He scooped some up with the spoon, blowing on it until it was cool enough to drink before sticking it in his mouth. He hummed contemplatively before scrounging up some vanilla extract and adding it to his.
.
Gojyo came back a few minutes later, redressed and much warmer. He came up behind Kanda and wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on Kanda’s shoulder.
.
“Hmm,” Kanda said, leaning his head against Gojyo’s. “That was fun. Thank you.”
.
“That’s what snow days are for. Beats being cooped up and bored,” he said as he let go to pick up his hot chocolate. “Think it’s cool enough yet?”
.
“I doubt it,” Kanda said, drinking more of his off his spoon. “But it should be soon if it’s not.” After a moment’s hesitation he ditched his spoon in the sink. “Come on, the couch will be comfier than these chairs.”
.
Gojyo followed Kanda, warming his cold fingers on his mug. He took a sip. It wasn’t as hot but still pretty hot. He set it down on the coffee table when he sat on the couch.
.
Kanda curled himself up on the couch, cupping his own cup between both of his hands. After a moment, he pulled the blanket on the back of the couch into his lap, holding up a corner to Gojyo.
.
Gojyo scooted closer and took the corner. He crossed his legs so that his freezing toes would be under the blanket.
.
Kanda leaned against Gojyo’s side, sipping his hot chocolate.
.
Gojyo rested an arm around Kanda pulling him closer.
.
“Warm enough?” Kanda asked, resting his head on Gojyo’s shoulder.
.
“Mm, you?”
.
“So eloquent,” Kanda muttered, smiling. “Yes, I’m warm enough.” He shifted the blanket, draping it more evenly across both their laps.
.
“Good,” Gojyo said, planting a kiss on Kanda’s temple.
.
“I’ve never been in a snowball fight before,” Kanda admitted.
.
“Really? Jien and I used to have all the time when we were younger. ‘Cept he always got me and I always missed.”
.
“Alma used to try, but… well, the family business was a strict one,” Kanda said. “It sounds like you had a good relationship with your brother, at least.”
.
“Yeah, but the bastard used to steal my pocket money when I was younger.”
.
“Sounds like family,” Kanda said, huffing out a laugh.
.
“Yeah, he’s still an ass sometimes, but he’s there when it counts.”
.
“Just be glad you’re not a girl,” Kanda said, shaking his head. “I know from experience that apparently we’re really annoying.”
.
Gojyo had forgotten Kanda had sister. “I’m sure you were a pretty good big brother.”
.
“You are the only one who thinks that,” Kanda said.
.
“I doubt that,” he said more quietly wrapping his other arm around Kanda.
.
“Nah, I was a little shit,” Kanda said, leaning into the hug and hugging back. “Little siblings are a pain in the ass… sometimes quite literally.”
.
“Yeah, but that’s our job,” and he could say from experience there was no one they looked up to more than their older siblings.
.
“I don’t think that biting is what you mean by that,” Kanda said, laughing.
.
“Ehhhh, no not realy.”
.
Kanda snorted in amusement. “She was a feisty little brat,” Kanda said.
.
“Sounds like a hot ticket.”
.
“She probably would have been,” Kanda said, smiling. “She already had all the guys her age at the dojo bowing at her feet. Tou-san’s little princess. She could kick my ass easy as pie, but she hated to compete so she never got a rank.” He smirked.
.
“Damn, that’s impressive,” Gojyo said, a little in awe.
.
“You probably would have liked her,” Kanda said. “And she you. I would not have escaped unscathed.”
.
“I’m sure we would have ganged up on you in a snowball fight at least.”
.
“Heh. So true. Except she wouldn’t do you much good. Her aim was worse than mine.”
.
“Damn, ah well.”
Violent Reactions - Chapter Eight
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: T
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Possible seeming out of character-ness due to altered character back stories, High school AU, miscommunications
~*~
Kiss Arc
~*~
Looking back, Kanda couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he started liking Gojyo as more than a friend. He knew it was after he admitted that he thought of Gojyo as a friend, but he didn’t know when exactly. Was it the festival? But it already felt almost natural then too, to look at Gojyo and see beauty for more reasons than aesthetics.
He knew when he realized that he liked Gojyo as more than a friend though. That had been after the fight with Xian at the school. He had realized while he was meditating that night and he nearly destroyed his room in a fit of embarrassed fury. Luckily, Tiedoll had called him to dinner and he’d put it out of his mind.
But the thought kept creeping back in. He found himself noticing things he hadn’t before. Or hadn’t noticed he’d noticed. Things like how it was easier to smile around Gojyo. Things like when new bruises showed up, and he wished he could say something, but knew that those bruises went better unacknowledged. Things like how he leaned more into Gojyo’s usual displays of affection.
It ached, he thought, to do that. To lean closer only meant anything to him, and it ached keenly to think about it. He tried not to, but time was a bitch, and as more time passed, the more he thought about it, and the less numb he was. Maybe this was why people called it heart ache, because it definitely felt as though his heart were aching. Each half hug and draped arm brought a slight balm that only turned into a knife later. There was nothing quite like the pain of feeling lonely while standing beside someone.
.
Gojyo had slept around before. Mostly girls, but there had been at least one guy at a party or something. He wasn’t picky. But none of that had been anything like what he felt about Kanda.
He knew Kanda was a friend, a real one, but there was something else there too. Like what he felt for Jien but different. He found himself wanting to be near Kanda as much as possible. He liked making Kanda laugh and smile. He knew Kanda always had his back in a fight, something he couldn’t say before. He liked the way Kanda fit under his arm, close beside him. Kanda never asked when he’d show up randomly in the afternoon or mornings in the summer nursing a new bruise. Hell, he had even told Kanda all his shit and the kid still hung around.
Yeah, he liked Kanda. A lot. And he knew Kanda liked him, at least as a friend. And he really didn’t want to fuck up if it wasn’t more so he just continued his usual affections. Okay, maybe they were more than usual, but Kanda didn’t seem to mind.
.
Kanda sighed quietly, scuffing his feet over the dirt, making a small pile of leaves. It was a thankfully warm day, but then again, that was why Tiedoll had decided to finish up his commission. With the warm weather, he could open the windows and the smell of lacquer and varnish wouldn’t be as strong. Kanda just hoped the smell wouldn’t linger too much. It was going to get cold in a few days.
Shuffling around a bit more, Kanda made his little leaf pile larger. If he had a rake he could make a big one and sit in it. Or tackle Gojyo into it. That would be fun. A small smile came to his lips despite the pang in his chest at the thought.
.
Gojyo watched Kanda make piles of leaves. They were chilling where they had burned their notes this time last year. Lately he had been a little more open about his contact. Kanda always leaned in, not breaking it unless he had to or Gojyo did. Sometimes he noticed Kanda looking at him, not always but often enough. Gojyo figured it was safe to assume his feelings were at least a little returned. Gojyo came over by Kanda and threw an arm over Kanda, leaning on him. “Hey.”
.
“Yeah?” Kanda said, leaning back into Gojyo A) because he could and B) because it made it easier to stand without falling over.
‘You keep telling yourself that,’ a small voice whispered in the back of his head, but he ignored it and the pain it brought. If this kept up, he was going to have to stop it somehow.
.
“Um,” Gojyo lost his courage last minute, “What are you doing?” he tried instead.
.
“…Making leaf piles,” Kanda said, shuffling his feet to push a smaller one into a larger one. “It’s been years since I played in the leaves.”
.
“Ah,” Justdoitjustdoitjustdoit. “Hey Kanda?” he asked in a voice that called for attention.
.
“Hm?” Kanda said, looking up at Gojyo. He looked good, standing there. The sun made his hair shine, and the contrast of shadows on his face was interesting and eye catching. Kanda was tempted to look away, but Gojyo seemed to want his attention so he looked im straight in the eyes and forced himself not to blush.
.
Oh shit. Oh shit, Kanda’s looking at him. Fuck it. He kissed him. It was a quick kiss. Gojyo pulled back, a deep red, trying to act like everything was normal.
.
Kanda’s eyes went wide in shock when Gojyo kissed him. His chest felt like it was butterflies for a split second before the pain settled in like a punch to the gut. He’d been too obvious, and Gojyo, being the naturally affectionate and tactile person that he was, had kissed him. It hurt, and Kanda could feel his throat getting tight.
"Don't fuck with me like that! I'm not one of those girls you can screw and leave just because I have long hair!" Kanda shouted, shoving Gojyo’s shoulders and stepping back. He spun on the ball of his foot and bolted, barely pausing to grab his bag and Mugen on his way out of the clearing.
.
Whoa, what the fuck? “Hey wait! Kanda!” He ran after him. Where had that come from? He finally caught up with Kanda, “Stop, man! What the hell?” He grabbed Kanda’s arm, spinning him.
.
Kanda felt the hand on his arm pull him to a stop and spin him around. He couldn’t breathe properly past the knot in his throat and the pain in his chest because god, there was no way he was making anything better doing this, but his mind was humming with anger, trying to protect him from himself. He jerked away from Gojyo, stumbling back a step.
He’d heard Gojyo speak, but he didn’t know what he’d said, and he needed to get away. He couldn’t think right now and he just needed to get out of there, to get out of the woods and go somewhere… somewhere that he couldn’t be found or reminded of Gojyo. He could feel himself verging on panic attack territory and knew running alone wouldn’t work. The next thing he knew, his fist was flying, landing painfully against Gojyo’s jaw. The pain in his hand registered around the same time as the shocked horror, eyes going wide once more as surprised tears slipped down pale cheeks.
Shaking his head, Kanda bolted again, running faster this time. He couldn’t… he couldn’t do this now.
.
The fist was a surprise. Damn that kid had a mean right hook. It took a minute for everything to sink in. He fucked up. He fucked up really bad this time. “SHIT!” he yelled, kicking a tree next to him. Pain exploded in his foot and he toppled backward. “GOD DAMN!” Why was he such a fuck up?! Why did he do it? He ruined everything! Gojyo put his head in his hands and sat there, foot hurting like a bitch and his jaw throbbing. He could already feel the heat of the bruise forming. Why did he have to kiss him? Fuck.
Gojyo picked himself up and limped back to where his backpack was. He told himself his eyes were watering because his foot hurt. Fuck he just ruined everything. He wouldn’t be surprised if Kanda didn’t want to talk to him again. He shoved his hands in his pockets searching for a cigarette. He found Kanda’s key instead and angrily shoved it back in his pocket.
.
Despite wanting to go somewhere that didn’t remind him of Gojyo, Kanda’s feet carried him home. He ran up the stairs and threw the apartment door open, ignoring Tiedoll in the living room as he slammed the door back shut and ran to his room without taking off his shoes. He slammed the door shut, dropped his bag, tossed Mugen on the floor, and kicked his shoes off, dropping onto the floor in front of his door. He pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his head in his arms and trying to, first and foremost, get his breathing under control. It wasn’t easy. His throat was tight, and each breath was a ragged gasp that was too close to a sob for comfort.
“Yuu-kun, are you okay?” Tiedoll asked, muffled by the door. Kanda choked on a sob, curling tighter in on himself.
“I’m fine,” he managed to gasp, holding his breath until Tiedoll moved away. After that he let himself tip over so he was lying on his side, covering his head with his arms. ‘I’m so fucking stupid,’ Kanda thought. ‘Of course I was too obvious. I try to take everyone else’s heads off, but I lean into Gojyo? Like that wasn’t a dead fucking give away. Idiot.’
.
Gojyo didn’t go home for a while. He just sat there smoking until he got cold and then he sat some more. Gods, he was so stupid. He probably misread all of what Kanda was doing. He bet he didn’t even like him like that. And now he fucked everything up. What was he going to do now? Maybe with any luck they could go back to being friends, like none of this happened. Damn. And he made the kid cry too. He rubbed his bruising jaw, deciding he should probably head home. Anything Mom could do wouldn’t make him feel nearly as awful as he did right now.
.
By dinner time, Kanda just felt raw. He wasn’t crying anymore, and his breathing was even, but it was a near thing. He felt like he was standing on a cliff’s edge, teetering in the wind, and just about to fall. His mind wasn’t as quiet as his body though, racing and torturing him with everything that he’d done today and in the past. He couldn’t believe he’d actually punched Gojyo.
Tiedoll came to fetch him then, sliding the door open quietly and using similarly quiet words and gentle touches to pull him up off the floor and out into the kitchen. Kanda didn’t say anything when he saw a bowl of soba sitting at the table, sitting to eat it in silence. For once, Tiedoll was quiet too.
That night his mind wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t let him sleep, even though he felt physically and emotionally wrung out. He should have been calmer about it. He shouldn’t have hit Gojyo. He should have stayed to talk. But it had hurt. It had hurt so much, and he wanted it to stop, except he’d only made it worse.
He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget for a few hours, but it was all he could think about. He buried his face in his pillow for a moment before getting up to pace. It made him dizzy, pacing back and forth, but it quieted his mind slightly so he didn’t stop. He just wanted the world to stop. Maybe then he could fix this.
.
Gojyo slipped into the house unnoticed and went to his room. He dropped his backpack and kicked off his shoes and flopped face first on the bed. Jien would be working late tonight anyway. Having gone through most of his pack earlier, he didn’t feel like smoking for once. He took Kanda’s key from his pocket and looked at the side of Kanda and him for a while. His mind was blank, but not the good kind of blank. It was that blank you get when you realize you can’t do anything to remedy a mistake. He curled up, key in hand and welcomed the numbness of sleep.
.
Kanda spent most of the night alternating between pacing and tossing and turning. He finally just passed out around two, but he was extremely tired and generally depressed when Tiedoll shook him awake at six. Tiedoll still said nothing, but the worry was written plainly on his face, and it only made Kanda feel worse.
Going to school was fantastically horrid. He was tired, and nervous, and he really hoped that they could both just forget anything had happened and go back to how they were before, but he knew that would never happen because, damn, he’d punched Gojyo in the face.
Kanda sat in his seat resignedly, pillowing his head on his arms. He still didn’t know how to deal with any of it, especially since he’d thrown a fit. Asking for an explanation would just be too damn uncomfortable.
.
Gojyo slid into class late, not the first time, but his tardiness wasn’t as often this year since he hung out with Kanda all the time now. Or he did… He sat in his usual spot next to Kanda, but didn’t know if he should say anything. He figured Kanda was still upset with him and stayed quiet.
.
Kanda glanced at Gojyo out of the corner of his eye when the redhead came in late. A bruise had bloomed brightly on his jaw and Kanda looked away, fists clenching self-consciously. He needed to apologize for that, but he didn’t know how without bringing up the rest of yesterday’s mess that he really didn’t want to talk about yet.
.
The class dragged on but finally they were let go. Gojyo wanted to say something to Kanda but he didn’t know what to say. Sorry? Was he sorry? Not for the kiss, no. But for what happened after, yeah. Maybe he should just start with a hello to gage Kanda’s mood. “Thought class never end,” he said, attempting conversation.
.
Kanda kept his head on his arms, chin propped against them for most of the class. It was hard to concentrate though, and he kept blinking for a few seconds longer than normal. He tried to stay awake. He really didn’t want to get in trouble on top of everything else, but in the end, he conked out ten minutes before class ended. He didn’t even notice class end, but he thought he heard Gojyo say something and stirred for a moment before nodding off again. Later. He would apologize later.
.
Gojyo realized Kanda was asleep and since their next class was a down the hall he tried to wake him. “Kanda, class is over, come on.” He shook his arm a little but broke contact quicker than he normally would.
.
Kanda stirred at the hand on his arm, blinking his eyes open blearily. He noticed the next class was starting to file in as the last of his last class trickled out, and glanced over to see who had woken him. It was Gojyo of course and he pushed himself up groaning.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “Thanks for waking me up.”
.
“No problem,” he said starting to grab his stuff to leave. He hesitated for a moment before saying, “About yesterday…I didn’t…I’m sorry.”
.
Kanda blinked in surprise, his brain trying to catch up to the conversation. When he figured it out he looked away, gathering his own stuff. “I’m sorry too,” he said.
.
Gojyo nodded. “I don’t know if this means anything now, but I wasn’t fucking with you,” he said quietly before starting for the door.
.
Kanda froze. ‘Shit fuck,’ he thought, hand clenching around Mugen. ‘And now I know I fucked up. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck… someone punch me…’
The bell ringing startled Kanda and he cursed, hurrying to class. ‘Great. Just fucking great. Now what am I supposed to do?’
.
The first class of the day set the pace for the whole day. It was long and dragged on and on. Gojyo even considered cutting out of his last class early. Everything just kinda sucked.
.
Thankfully, Kanda didn’t fall asleep in any more classes. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean he paid any attention, too busy trying to come up with a way to apologize for yesterday properly and fix the awkwardness. The plan was slow forming, and every time he got past the second step, he scrapped it because it was so god damn stupid. He was ready to bang his head against his desk.
‘It’s just a god damn apology,’ Kanda thought. ‘It shouldn’t be this hard. Why is it this hard anyway? Oh yeah, because I like him… fuck… I’m screwed…’
.
He and Kanda didn’t really speak much over the next few days. At least on Gojyo’s part, he didn’t know what to say. They’d apologized but it was still pretty awkward. Gojyo was hesitant to return to his usual level of affection, not because his feelings had changed, not at all. The problem actually was that he still had feelings for Kanda and he was worried Kanda wouldn’t want him to. So he didn’t.
.
Kanda was starting to get anxious. He knew the longer he dragged this idiocy on, the harder it was going to be to apologize. He couldn’t do it though. He and Gojyo had stopped hanging out outside of school, and every time he tried to reach out to Gojyo and drag him off like he used to, a wave of guilt would stay his hand and he’d make awkward aborted gestures. It was pathetic, and thinking about it made him grit his teeth. He didn’t even know how he was going to apologize yet either.
.
A full week passed and Friday rolled around, finally. He and Kanda were still kinda dancing around each other and Gojyo just felt really low. He tried to perk up and pretend like nothing was wrong but it just felt fake. He tried joking around but it wasn’t the same and really he just felt like crap.
.
By Friday, Kanda was literally ready to rip his hair out. He had no idea how he was going to apologize, or how he was going to drag Gojyo somewhere so he could do it because, wow he was an idiot. And, of course, he just had to make one of his stupid, guilt ridden, aborted gestures right as Gojyo turned to look. No, that didn’t look entirely stupid. Fuck.
.
He caught Kanda reaching out for him out of the corner of his eye. “What’cha doing?”
.
“Nothing,” Kanda muttered, looking away, because wow… Maybe if Gojyo got sick of his bullshit and punched him he’d feel better. Maybe he should just punch himself, because he was beyond sick of his own bullshit. Yup, Fridays were wonderful…
.
“’Kay,” Gojyo said unconvinced. This was turning out to be one of the longest weeks of his life. It was like he suddenly didn’t know how to talk to Kanda. This never happened, not even when they were awkward assigned partners. When the last bell rang, Gojyo wasn’t sure if it was a relief or something more foreboding.
.
When the final bell rang, Kanda nearly sighed in relief. Nearly, because spending the weekend not randomly hanging out with Gojyo was going to be boring as fuck. He packed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, grabbing Mugen and heading for the door. He tossed a quick, “Have a nice weekend” over his shoulder before leaving. Maybe he could come up with a proper plan to apologize and execute it on Monday.
.
Most of the afternoon after school was uneventful. It sucked though because he usually hung out with Kanda and instead he was wandering aimlessly through some of the back trails around the house. When it started to get dark, he headed back home. This was going to be a really shitty weekend if he didn’t find something to do because Jien had taken up more shifts with Gojyo always over Kanda’s. It would be a weekend home with Mom and that was never fun.
After getting home, he hung around in his room for a few hours before he got hungry and headed to the kitchen. He hadn’t seen Mom all day and that made him a little edgy because he wasn’t sure where she was. He opened up a can of noodles and turned the stove on to heat them up. He made two bowls, just incase she was around and was hungry. He didn’t know why he did this, he guessed maybe some sort of peace offering when he was stuck with her. He was about half way through his bowl when she wandered into the kitchen. He stilled as she drifted by the table to where he had set her bowl. “Hey Mom, thought you might want something to eat,” he said in a small voice, like talking to a startled animal. She didn’t reply but she did sit, eyeing the bowl. There were several long minutes of tense silence before she began to eat. Gojyo let go of the breath he didn’t realize he held. There were very rare moments when the two of them could co-exist in the same room; apparently this was one of them. The both finished their bowls in peace. It wasn’t until Gojyo had started cleaning the dishes that things took a turn for the worse.
“Where’s Jien?” he heard behind him. Words that always turned his blood cold, because no matter what he answered he was wrong.
“He’s at work, Mom. He’s working late again.”
“He’s never home anymore.”
“Jien just picked up more hours,” he turned to set down the dish he’d been drying to pick up another.
“You drove him away, didn’t you?” In the three seconds Gojyo had turned to pick up another dish, she had appeared right behind him. He jumped, dropping the dish, shattering it on the floor. “You clumsy boy!” his mother shrieked as the backhanded Gojyo. He stumbled back, trying to get out of her way. Gojyo may have been tall, but he was still growing into all of his limbs, leaving him less coordinated that he would have liked. And even though he had several inches on his stepmother, she was by no means a tiny woman, very easily able to send him sprawling. He ducked in time to dodge her next blow, but the third caught him on the eyebrow. He tried to run to the kitchen door but his pocket got caught on the cabinet corner, tripping him up. She was on him in seconds. He had long since realized that fight back only served to make her angrier and he curled up instead.
“Please, Mom! Stop!” But he knew that was useless. He tried to block her oncoming blows and managed to push her off him enough to scramble out of the kitchen, but she followed, catching him by the pant leg and he hit the ground hard. There was a brief struggle and he escaped again, with a few scratches and tried to reach the front door as his bedroom was too far away. He almost made it when she caught up again, using his momentum to slam him into the wall face first. He tore her off him and fumbled for the doorknob, finally getting out. He slammed the door behind him and just booked it. He could taste blood in his mouth and he was pretty sure his nose was bleeding but that hardly mattered. It wasn’t until he was standing in front of Kandas front door that he realized where he had run to. He leaned against the door, trying to catch his breath. He wiped his face on the back of his hand. Yup, he was bleeding. He took the key out of his pocket, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be welcome right now.
.
Kanda looked up from where he was bowed over his desk, writing out various possibilities for Monday. He was sure he’d heard someone running up the stairs, and since Tiedoll was already sleeping and most definitely not running around outside it had to be someone else.
Climbing to his feet warily, Kanda grabbed Mugen and headed for the door. He hesitated with his hand on the door knob before shaking his head. He was being stupid. Half sliding into a stance, Kanda opened the door. Even in the dark he could see that it was Gojyo and he relaxed his stance, reaching out to turn on the light.
“I’ll go get the first aid kit,” he said, turning on his heel and heading for the bathroom, leaving the door open behind him.
.
He hesitated a moment before entering and closing the door behind him. He hadn’t been wearing any shoes earlier when he ran here, so he followed Kanda.
.
Kanda flicked on the lights in the bathroom and crouched to scrounge through the cabinets below the sink. He came up with the first aid kit fairly easily, setting it on the counter and leaning Mugen against the wall by the door. He turned to Gojyo, only slightly surprised that the redhead had followed him.
“Sit,” he said before opening the kit. It was well stocked with Band-Aids, antiseptics, cotton balls, fabric tape, gauze, bandages, and a bunch of other medical paraphernalia.
.
Gojyo sat on edge of the tub. “Sorry about showing up out of the blue,” he mumbled.
.
“It’s fine,” Kanda said, shaking his head. “We gave you a key for a reason. The door is always open.”
He looked Gojyo over, trying to judge how hurt Gojyo was. There were obvious scratches on his arms, and his shirt had seen better days around his shoulders, so there were probably cuts there. And of course, broken nose, and his feet had taken a beating from his running around without shoes. Kanda sighed quietly and set to work, cleaning the scratches and taping on some gauze to the worst of them. The rest were shallow enough that they could be left open to the air without too much worry of bleeding all over the place. They’d already started scabbing over anyhow.
After cleaning up Gojyo’s feet, he wrapped them in bandages so they wouldn’t get dirty again. Foot wounds were the biggest pain to deal with, but judging by the way Gojyo’d shown up, shoes had been the last thing on his mind.
“I don’t really know what to do for your nose,” Kanda said. “Sorry.”
.
Besides a hiss every now and again when the antiseptic stung the open cuts, the basic clean up was silent, but for the first time in a while, it wasn’t awkward. “There’s really not much you can do, I hit the wall straight on. I just need something clean up and stop the blood.”
.
“It will probably be less painful if you do that part yourself,” Kanda said. “I’ll go find you a shirt that’s in one piece.”
Out of a habit he nearly forgot he used to have, Kanda bowed before leaving, taking Mugen with him. He dug out one of the old shirts Gojyo had borrowed the time Jien had dumped him there before clearing his plans off his desk and setting up the futons. He propped Mugen against the wall by his futon before heading back to the bathroom, shirt in hand.
“Here,” he said. “Your futon is set up when you’re ready.”
He retreated again, stopping by the living room briefly to turn the light out and make sure the door was locked before returning to his room. He hated to think it, but maybe this would help him apologize and they could go back to normal.
.
Gojyo’s heart sunk a little when Kanda bowed. They were back to being formal. Strangers. He cleaned off his nose carefully. It was already swelling a little and it hurt a lot. When Kanda came back with a shirt he stripped the other one carefully slipped the other over his head. He walked out a few minutes later. “Can I have some ice?” Gojyo was surprised how quiet his voice sounded.
.
“Wha-? Oh, yeah,” Kanda said, nodding. “Sorry, ‘guess I should have thought of that.” He got up. “Be right back.”
Kanda went to the kitchen, finding a quart sized ziplock bag. He filled it half full with ice, added a bit of cold tap water and a bit of salt, zipping it closed and shaking it. It was a trick Tiedoll had taught him to make it colder and make it last longer.
He brought the bag back to his room. “Here,” he said, handing it over to Gojyo before sitting on his futon.
.
“Thanks,” he said sitting on his own futon and placing the ice on his face. “You know, I got through an entire meal with her before…this,” he said gesturing to everything.
.
“Maybe she’s mellowing out a bit,” Kanda suggested, but he didn’t really believe it. He couldn’t guess why, but that didn’t mean he didn’t hope what he’d said was true. Gojyo deserved a proper family.
.
“Heh, mellowing. Yeah, maybe.” He didn’t mean to sound bitter but it was kinda hard not to with a broken nose. Slower he could believe, but mellowing, not a chance. “Did I wake you up?”
.
“No,” Kanda said, shaking his head. “I was reading.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. He had been reading over what he’d written when Gojyo showed up, but Gojyo didn’t need to know about his stupid plans. “You weren’t very loud, either.”
.
“To be honest, I just kinda ended up here. I didn’t know where I was running to.” He readjusted the ice and mumbled, “I didn’t know if you’d let me in.”
.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Kanda asked. “I know things are all weird, but you’re always welcome here.” He looked away, picking at a loose string on his futon blanket. He’d barely decided to go for it when the words slipped out. “I’m sorry for that day. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”
.
“Nah man, it’s cool. I just thought… you know, we both, but if you’re not, if you don’t, it’s cool.”
.
“I…” Kanda started, but he couldn’t say it. It had been hard enough to apologize, but to admit that he actually liked Gojyo aloud? Just no. Not tonight anyway. “We should go to sleep.”
.
“Yeah,” he sighed. Well that settled that. No wonder it hadn’t been well received. Now he felt like a huge idiot. He lay down, keeping the ice on his face.
.
Kanda turned the light off and laid down himself, curling up under his blanket, his back to Gojyo. Sleep, however, refused to come easy. Honestly, he thought that apologizing might help, but he just felt more conflicted. He wasn’t even sure why, all things considered. Gojyo had, repeatedly, confirmed that he had feelings for Kanda, and yet Kanda couldn’t bring himself to admit he returned those feelings. And he couldn’t figure out why. Was he scared? But that didn’t seem right. Or was it that he was nervous? Well that wasn’t too far off, but with confirmation already there, such nerves should have faded by now. He groaned silently and rolled onto his back. Brilliant
.
Gojyo’s face hurt. When the lights went out it helped the forming headache but really, the ice could only do so much. He was starting to feel everything, including his feet. Tomorrow he was gunna be sore. He’d just deal with it in the morning. Right now he was too tired to care. He was also a little bummed out about being rejected, but really, what had he been expecting?
.
Kanda lay there for upwards of half an hour, just staring blankly at the ceiling. He knew Gojyo was sleeping because his breathing had evened out at the beginning of said half hour. Technically he could get up and just abandon the prospect of sleeping all together. He was getting better at pulling all-nighters.
With a quiet sigh, Kanda rolled on his side so he could look at Gojyo through the dark. After a moment’s hesitation, Kanda sat up and shuffled off of his futon, moving to lie on the edge of Gojyo’s futon. He pulled the blanket tighter around him, and curled up against the redhead. It was warmer there, and Kanda felt himself falling asleep easier. It didn’t much matter. He’d wake before Gojyo, and he could be gone before the other woke. He never had to know.
.
At some point in the night Gojyo felt warmth appear by his side. He curled into it.
When Gojyo awoke the next morning there were three things he noticed. First, the ice had melted and slipped off his nose, which unfortunately was what woke him up. Second, there was a warm presence next to him that he had wrapped his arms around in the middle of the night. Third, that warmth was Kanda. Gojyo let go, beet red, but as he started to roll away he realized Kanda was asleep on one of his arms, so he was stuck, arm completely asleep. He lay on his back starting at the celing considering his options.
.
It was cold. Kanda grumbled, stirring slightly. He could feel warmth not too far away and shuffled closer, cuddling up to it and nuzzling his head into the shoulder he found beneath his head, throwing an arm over the torso he’d curled against so it couldn’t escape again, inadvertently pulling his blanket over the other as well. He was fast asleep before he even realized what he was doing, mumbling happily in his sleep.
.
Just when Gojyo was about to decide to try and pull his arm out, Kanda snuggled up closer to him. Gojyo turned as red as his hair and made a strangled noise in the base of his throat. He was really trapped now but at least if Kanda woke up it would be him around Gojyo not the other way around. Not that Gojyo had a problem with that but after getting rejected last night he wasn’t sure how Kanda would take it if he woke up wrapped in Gojyo’s arms.
~*~
Kanda stirred at dawn, curling closer to the warmth beside him. He cracked an eye open and saw familiar red hair. Pushing himself up slowly, Kanda blinked down at Gojyo, trying to remember why he was curled up next to him. Oh yeah, last night…
Sighing, Kanda made to slip away, pulling the blanket up over Gojyo as he moved so that maybe the temperature change wouldn’t be so noticeable. He saw the melted bag of ice and sighed again. He’d need to make up a new one, probably.
.
There was a sudden lack of warmth, and Gojyo rolled over to keep it, finding that he could in fact roll again. He curled up in the warm spot still asleep.
.
Kanda froze when Gojyo moved, but when the other proved to be still asleep, Kanda breathed a sigh of relief. He snagged the melted bag and slipped from the room, making sure to grab Mugen on his way. He put the melted bag in the freezer, making up a fresh bag with fresh ice. ‘Yes, because stale ice is a thing,’ Kanda thought, rolling his eyes at himself.
Kanda dropped by his room for a moment to drop off the ice before heading out for his morning run and training session.
.
It was a little bit later when Gojyo woke up again, his nose killing him. He sat up, looking around. Kanda wasn’t in the room anymore, probably already starting his day. Gojyo couldn’t say he wasn’t a little bit happy that Kanda had gone because he didn’t want to be awake when Kanda woke up practically on top of him. Not that Gojyo didn’t kinda like it… He noticed new ice placed near him. It was still pretty cold so Kanda must have just left. Taking it up and holding it to his face, Gojyo headed out of the bedroom and to the bathroom. His nose was purple and a swollen. Sexy. The scratches didn’t look too bad though. Placing the ice back on his face, Gojyo headed to the kitchen to see if Tiedoll was up to let him know he was here.
.
Tiedoll, who had gotten up eight minutes after Kanda did, was in the kitchen when Gojyo arrived. He beamed upon seeing the red haired teen. “Good morning, Gojyo,” he greeted. “What would you like for breakfast? Yuu-kun is still out training, but we don’t have to wait. He won’t mind.”
.
“Um… I’m good with anything,” he said taking a seat at the table. The ice felt wonderfully cool on his nose.
.
“Always so modest,” Tiedoll said, chuckling. “I was thinking Belgian waffles. Sound good?”
.
Gojyo had no idea what a waffle was but Tiedoll always made great food so it didn’t really matter. “Sure,” he shrugged.
~*~
Tiedoll hummed happily as he scooped ice cream onto the waffles. He arranged fresh cut strawberries around the still warm pastry. “Here you go,” he said, sliding the warm plate across the table. “We have syrup if you’d like some.”
“Why does it smell like a candy factory in here?” Kanda’s sharp voice said from the living room.
“You’re back early,” Tiedoll said, smiling as Kanda came through to the kitchen. His cheeks were pink, as were his ears, but his lips were paler than normal.
“It was cold,” Kanda said, shrugging.
“Would you like some?” Tiedoll asked, moving to push his own plate across the table.
“You know I hate sweets,” Kanda muttered, moving over to the fridge. He pulled out the onigiri he’d made from last night’s leftover rice, sitting next to Gojyo. Tiedoll shrugged and pulled his plate back towards him, digging into his Belgian waffle.
“You’re missing out on something good,” he said. Kanda scoffed.
“To each his own.”
.
Gojyo set the ice aside when Tiedoll set down the plate of what looked like dessert. He dug in as Kanda sat down. “Yeah, this is good,” he said, stabbing one of the strawberries.
.
“I’m glad you like it,” Tiedoll said, smiling. Kanda glanced at Gojyo out of the corner of his eye before ducking his head and digging into his onigiri.
.
When not eating waffles, Gojyo didn’t say much. He wasn’t really sure what to say to Kanda because he didn’t know exactly where they stood anymore. He just wanted to go back to being friends and pretend like all this crap didn’t happen, but it did and now he didn’t know what to do about it.
.
After breakfast Kanda moved out to the living room, flopping down on the couch. “Does your brother know where you are?” he asked when Gojyo exited the kitchen, not entirely sure whether Gojyo was going to stay in the living room or move back to Kanda’s room.
.
“No, he wasn’t back yet when I left,” he said, sitting in the armchair across from the couch. He had the ice back on his nose.
.
“How’s your nose?” Kanda asked, pulling his feet up onto the couch and his knees to his chest. Things were getting more awkward instead of less. He’d fucked something up again along the way, he just needed to figure out what.
‘Shit, did he wake up?’ Kanda thought, hugging his knees. ‘I was practically on top of him… crap.’
.
“It hurts, but I’ve had worse.” This was so awkward. What should he say? “So…” he didn’t have anywhere he was going with that.
.
“I’m sorry,” Kanda said, not looking at Gojyo. Of course, there were a million things he was apologizing for, but he couldn’t get himself to spit them out because the list was too damn long and embarrassing and he couldn’t say it. He wanted to, sort of, and he owed Gojyo that much at least. But he didn’t know where to start or what to say and he just ended up silent, pressing his lips against his knee so he wouldn’t have to talk. Maybe he should start with last night. It was his most recent fuck up after all.
“I’m sorry about last night,” Kanda mumbled against his knees. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
.
Kanda’s apology startled Gojyo. “What’re you sorry for?” Was he apologizing for sleeping on him? ‘Wait, shit, did he wake up when I was asleep on him?’ “You didn’t do anythin’.”
.
“Didn’t do anything?” Kanda said, lifting his head in confusion. “I was lying on top of you. Along with every other fuck up I’ve pulled in the past month.”
.
“Oh, yeah,” Gojyo said sheepishly. “To be fair, I kinda fell asleep on you too though. Though about the past month, look I’m sorry I made everything awkward. It’s not your fault. I shoulda known you wouldn’t be interested.”
.
“No,” Kanda said. “It’s not your fault. Damn it… I’m not, not interested.” Kanda sighed, resting his chin atop his knees. “I just… suck at words…”
.
“Wait, what?” Not not interested? Like interested? “So then you…? We both…? But you said last night…?” Did that mean Kanda liked him back?
.
“I never said anything either way last night,” Kanda muttered. Which was yet another fuck up, in hind sight. “I’m sorry.”
.
“So wait, are you or not then?” He had to know. “Because shit man,” Because he didn’t want to hope there might be a chance. He’d rather just get it over with now.
.
“I am,” Kanda said, ducking his face against his knees again. “Like I said, bad at words.” This didn’t feel like it was getting any less awkward.
.
Gojyo sat back in the chair, relief flooding through him. For once, something went right. “So I didn’t fuck everything up?”
.
“Nope, pretty sure that was my doing,” Kanda said, slumping slightly. Now if only he could figure out why he still felt like he was fucking things up still…
.
“What? No,” Gojyo sat up to look at Kanda. Shit, the kid looked miserable. “Hey,” he said getting up and moving next to Kanda. He placed his ice on the table. “We’re cool, right?”
.
“Cool as that bag of ice,” Kanda said.
.
“Okay,” he smiled. “So then can I...” his stomach fluttered a little, “um… can I kiss you and not get hit this time?”
.
Kanda froze for a second, staring at Gojyo. He hesitated. Yes, he wanted to say yes, nod even, but he felt like such a fucking idiot. That first kiss that had started all the bull shit because he freaked out, well, he didn’t want to freak out again, and he didn’t know that he wouldn’t.
“I… um… yeah,” Kanda mumbled, hugging his knees to his chest.
.
“I don’t want make you if you don’t wanna,” Gojyo said at Kanda’s hesitance.
.
“I…”
He glanced at Gojyo nervously, sitting up a bit. He hesitated for a moment making a slight and aborted movement before uttering a mental ‘Fuck it’ and unfolding himself, leaning over and kissing Gojyo.
.
It took Gojyo all of three seconds to respond to Kanda’s kiss. He rested a hand lightly on Kanda’s arm and went for a more serious kiss.
.
Kanda kissed back for a moment before pulling away, blushing bright red. He buried his face into Gojyo’s shoulder in hopes that Gojyo hadn’t seen him blushing. Then again, he probably had. Fuck.
.
Gojyo wrapped his arms around Kanda resting his head on Kanda’s.
.
Tiedoll was whistling as he exited the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Kanda and Gojyo on the couch. He chuckled and Kanda jumped, pulling away from Gojyo blushing and glaring.
“Ah, young love,” Tiedoll said.
“Shut the fuck up,” Kanda snapped. “Fucking hell.”
“Don’t deny it,” Tiedoll said, smiling.
.
Gojyo had jumped back too when he heard Tiedoll enter, blushing. “Damn,” he said reaching for the ice to hide behind it.
.
“Don’t let me stop you,” Tiedoll said, going back to whistling and disappearing into his studio.
“He is so embarrassing,” Kanda groaned.
.
“He’s cool with it?”
.
“He’s god damn Antarctica cool with it,” Kanda muttered. “I’m sure you noticed the painting on your key.”
.
“Yeah, I just know some people…aren’t.”
.
“Most people aren’t,” Kanda agreed. “Tiedoll is… weird like that. Then again, he’s been convinced I was gay since he met me, so…”
.
“So does that mean… we are... you know?” Gojyo said, floundering for words.
.
“What? Gay? A thing?” Kanda asked before shrugging. “I don’t know. If you want, I guess.”
.
“I mean, I don’t know! I’ve never done this before!” Okay, not the relationship part… “If you don’t wanna…” Gojyo shut his mouth before he could say anything else stupid sounding.
.
“I’ve never done this either,” Kanda said. “Hell, I’d never kissed anyone before a week ago.” He sighed, slumping over to lean against Gojyo somewhat. “I don’t know what being a thing entails…”
.
“I’m pretty sure it’s just like this but with more hand holding, but to be honest, you’re asking the wrong guy.”
.
“Hand holding huh?” Kanda said, looking down at his hands.
.
“Only if you want to, I guess. God damn, I don’t know.”
.
“I don’t know either,” Kanda said, but he slipped his hand into Gojyo’s all the same, lacing their fingers together. It felt weird and unfamiliar, but not wrong.
.
Gojyo smiled when Kanda’s fingers interlocked with his. He leaned back against Kanda. Maybe this could work after all.
Violent Reactions - Chapter Seven
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: T
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Possible seeming out of character-ness due to altered character back stories, High school AU
~*~
Xian Fight Arc
~*~
Gojyo was pissed now. He was gunna fucking kill Xian. It was one thing to say shit about him, but another completely to say it about his friends Friend. You only have one. Of course, picking a fight with Xian when he had the other two morons with him wasn’t Gojyo’s smartest move, but he’d done stupider and he’d kicked all their ass before. He took another hit to the face that made him see stars, but plunged on anyway, busting his knuckles open on one of the idiot’s mouth.
.
Kanda hadn’t been looking for Gojyo. He’d been running an errand for a teacher. That didn’t stop him from seeing Gojyo out a window. The redhead seemed to be winning even though he was obviously outnumbered by Xian and his two bitch ass cronies. Kanda smirked, setting down the pile of books he was supposed to be returning to the library, opening the window to watch.
“Having fun?” he called.
.
Gojyo knocked one of them on their ass before they all looked up at Kanda. Gojyo waved before hitting one of the other idiots catching him off guard while he stared at Kanda. The fight resumed.
.
Kanda rolled his eyes, smirking. It was interesting to see Gojyo fight though. It was different from sparring with him, that was for certain. Maybe because the sparring had been for fun, or because this fight was actually serious. Kanda couldn’t say for certain either way. The redhead was pretty good though. Definitely better than his opponents.
.
He was pretty sure he had knocked out one of them. Now it was two on one. Better odds but not great. Maybe if Kanda would get his ass down here and – he got hit hard falling back on his ass when he wasn’t paying attention. He shot back up though, nailing a good kick to Xian’s side.
.
Kanda watched as Gojyo got knocked down and got back up again and sighed. He glanced down. He was technically only half a floor up because of how the school was built. Without a second though, Kanda clambered up onto the windowsill and jumped, legs bending as he landed and pushing him into a roll before too much force threatened to snap his ankles.
He got up, shaking his head to clear it slightly before running over to the fight, throwing himself into a flying side kick that landed square on the side of Xian’s crony’s head, knocking the goon down. Kanda nearly landed on said head from the follow through, stumbling a bit.
.
That just left Xian standing. “You’re one crazy motherfucker,” Gojyo said to Kanda as he blocked one of Xian’s hits. Xian couldn’t recover fast enough and Gojyo knocked him down.
“Still need you’re little bitch to come to your rescue?” Xian said as he spat out blood on the ground.
.
Kanda seethed at being called a bitch but said nothing. There was nothing he could say that might make this fuck nut back off. Of course, he didn’t have to say anything to step on his groin…
.
Xian cried out. “Dude, I told you he’d kill ya. You might wanna start apologizing,” Gojyo shrugged at Xian.
“Fuck you!” was Xian’s high pitched reply.
.
“I don’t have a spoon, how disappointing,” Kanda muttered, moving his foot so it was planted on Xian’s chest instead. “I suppose I’ll have to make due. What do you think? Would it hurt if I removed your ears?”
.
“You’re fucking crazy!” Xian squealed.
“Nah, he doesn’t need help to look stupid.” Kicking his ass and humiliating him was one thing, actually chopping off things was where Gojyo drew the line.
.
“So true,” Kanda murmured, drawing Mugen anyway. He grinned evilly. This was becoming too much of a habit, but maybe Xian would learn eventually. Quickly and easily, Kanda cut Xian’s clothes in such a way that they would only fall off when he got up. Let him think he was safe ‘til then.
“Have fun getting home, Blondie,” Kanda said, sheathing Mugen.
.
“Come on, let’s get outta here before a teacher shows up.”
.
“I still have to drop off some books at the library,” Kanda said, turning his attention back to Gojyo. The red head’s hair was messed up from fighting, his clothes rumpled and blood and dirt spotted here and there. Somehow Kanda couldn’t help but feel the look suited him. He seemed so much more vibrant like that.
.
“Heh, I’ll meet up with you later then,” he smiled, a little bit of red coating his teeth from where he got hit in the mouth himself.
.
“See you later,” Kanda said, nodding. He set off for the school at a jog. There was only half an hour before the library closed, and he had more than the books he’d been carrying when he got distracted to bring.
Violent Reactions - Chapter Six
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: T
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Out of character-ness (I can't even blame it on the changed back story this time. Kanda is so out of character, and I am so sorry.), High school AU
~*~
Key Arc
~*~
“Yuu-kun?" Tiedoll called quietly, knocking on Kanda’s door. Kanda looked up from the sketch he’d been doing. He hesitated a moment before flipping it over and standing to answer the door.
“What?” he asked.
“Can you give this to Gojyo-kun?” Tiedoll asked, holding out a key. Kanda raised an eyebrow, taking the small metal key. The head of the key had a ridiculously small painting of the building they lived in on it. The other side was a similarly tiny painting of Kanda and Gojyo sleeping on the couch.
“Tch,” Kanda said, closing his fist around the key. Of course Tiedoll went through a ridiculous amount of effort to make the key both memorable and embarrassing. “Fine.”
“It’s the same as your house key,” Tiedoll said.
“I gathered,” Kanda said. “Mine has the same painting of the teashop.”
“Okay, make sure you give it to Gojyo-kun when you see him next,” Tiedoll said.
“I’ll forget,” Kanda said, slipping past the old man. “I’ll go drop it off now.”
“Suit yourself,” Tiedoll said.
Kanda pulled on his shoes and headed out. It wasn’t until ten minutes and half way across town later that Kanda realized he didn’t actually know where Gojyo lived. He hissed in irritation, heading for the market. Surely someone there would be able to point him in the right direction.
~*~
It took nearly an hour more to find out where Gojyo lived. Almost everyone he asked said he didn’t want to go there, and then didn’t tell him where it was. He was tempted to just call it quits and leave the key somewhere obvious so he couldn’t forget, but he’d already put too much time into the search to go home.
And that was how Kanda found himself walking up to Gojyo’s house, a hair’s breadth from pissed and uncomfortably hot. ‘God I hate summer,’ he thought as he knocked sharply on the door, praying Gojyo was home.
.
Gojyo was in his room trying to escape the heat when he heard the knock on the door. No one ever came here. Except those boy scouts that one time, but they were quickly scared off. He should probably go answer the door before Mom did. He desperately hoped she hadn’t heard the knocking. Getting up off the bed he stuck his head outside the bedroom door and seeing that her door was still closed, made his way silently down the hall. With any luck whoever was at the door either was patient and wouldn’t knock again or went away. He opened the door a crack and saw Kanda standing there. Gojyo’s heart dropped to his stomach.
.
“Yo,” Kanda said, relieved that Gojyo was there. At least he wouldn’t have to go looking for him. “Your house is really hard to find, did you know that?”
.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he hissed as he stepped out, shutting the door behind him.
.
Kanda paused at the unexpected reaction before digging the key out of his pocket. “Tiedoll told me to give this to you,” he said, holding it out.
.
“What is it?” he asked, not understanding.
.
“A key,” Kanda said. “To the apartment. So you can drop by whenever.”
.
“Oh, thanks?” He said taking the key a little uncertainly. “Not to seem rude or anything but uh, how the hell did you find my house?” he said, a little annoyed that his plan to never tell Kanda where he lived or ever have him here failed.
.
“I asked around,” Kanda said, shrugging. “It took nearly an hour to find someone who would actually tell me, but some old guy selling squash finally spilled.”
.
“Not that I don’t appreciate the effort but you shouldn’t have come here,” he said, annoyance tingeing his voice. He knew he had no right to be upset with Kanda, but what was he thinking coming here? Though if Gojyo were honest with himself, he was embarrassed.
.
Kanda stared for a moment before frowning. It was honestly mostly to himself, but he didn’t care if it was taken otherwise. “Tch, fine,” Kanda said. “See you whenever.”
With that he turned on his heel and started back. At least it wouldn’t take him an hour this time.
.
Aww, fuck. “Kanda, wait!”
.
Kanda felt a spark of irritation as he stopped, not turning to face Gojyo. He was hot and tired, and he really just wanted to go home and relax. He’d done what he’d meant to, wasn’t that supposed to mean he could leave now?
“What?” he bit out, sounding far angrier than he intended to. He winced internally and half turned back, glancing at Gojyo. Great, now he was tired, hot, and feeling guilty. Great combination that one…
.
Glancing almost nervously at the house, Gojyo strode forward and grabbed Kanda’s wrist pulling him away from the house. “Follow me.”
.
Kanda let Gojyo pull him along for a short while before tugging his wrist free and simply trailing after him. He didn’t know what Gojyo was thinking, so he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and follow along. He just hoped they were going somewhere shady.
.
He didn’t say anything and didn’t stop until they were a good distance from the house in a shady little grouping of trees. Sitting on a trunk of a long fallen tree, he scrapped his hair back from his face and lit a cigarette. This was so not a conversation he wanted to have but he also didn’t want Kanda to think he was a huge ungrateful dick. “Look, I’m sorry about being an ass, it’s just… you can’t come here. Ever. It’s not…” he struggled to find the words “safe,” was what he ended up settling on. And it sounded lame even to him.
.
Kanda waited for Gojyo to stop speaking before sitting on the fallen tree as well. ‘Not safe, he says,’ Kanda thought. ‘It must have something to do with the rumors I’ve been ignoring.’
“So I gathered when no one would tell me how to get there,” Kanda said, rolling his eyes.
.
Gojyo grimaced. “I told you we’re not very popular in town. We both were lucky I heard the door before Mom did.”
.
“I take it she’s no Tiedoll,” Kanda said, unable to come up with anything else. What did you say to that without being rude and/or sounding like an ass?
.
“You couldn’t get more opposite.” This was not how he wanted this conversation to go. Actually he never wanted to have this conversation ever. “She’s…uh…not all there.” Understatement of the fucking century.
.
“So the rumors are true then?” Kanda asked. He froze when he realized, but it was too late to take it back now, so he’d wait for the fallout before doing anything.
.
Gojyo froze too. “Which rumors?”
.
“The ones about your family,” Kanda said, shrugging and frowning. Surely Gojyo had heard people talking. They weren’t exactly discreet about it.
.
“Like I said, which ones?” His voice took on a dangerous tone. “The ones where my dad slept around and had me? The one where my parents offed themselves when I was three and stuck me with my stepmother and Jien? Or maybe the one where my stepmother went crazy because her husband cheated on her and tried to kill me? Those rumors?” By now he was standing with fists clenched at his side. A note of hysteria cracking in his voice. “Because yeah, they’re all fucking true!”
.
Kanda didn’t know what to say. To be entirely honest, he hadn’t ever listened to the rumors. Hadn’t paid them any mind. He knew only that there were rumors, and knew only enough about them to know that they regarded Gojyo and his family. He hadn’t known. But now he did, and nothing changed. Gojyo was still Gojyo.
Remaining seated, Kanda reached out and took hold of one of Gojyo’s fists. Carefully, he tugged at Gojyo’s fingers, unfurling them one by one until he could simply hold his hand. He gave it a quick squeeze, and pretended he didn’t feel somewhat awkward about it. He wasn’t good at hugs.
“You’re still you,” Kanda finally muttered a minute or so later. “None of that changes that.”
.
Gojyo looked away when he finished his little rant, face as red as his hair. He let Kanda unfurl his fist and hold his hand. How could he say it changed nothing? How could Kanda say that when everything, when he was so fucked up? He collapsed back on the log, freeing his hand to light another cigarette.
.
Kanda sighed and laced his fingers together, propping his elbows on his knees and staring at the dirt beneath his feet. “I never put much stock in rumors,” Kanda started, he shook his head and huffed a laugh that was anything but happy. “It’s a habit I learned from Alma I suppose. Judging someone based on rumors is never good. Mostly because they’re usually wrong, but also because they don’t mean anything about the person themselves.” He sighed, fingers tightening around each other before he released them, the fingers of his right hand moving to the bracelet he wore on his left wrist. “When I was a kid, I used to hallucinate a lot. People thought I was making it up for the longest time, and that added to my horrible temper scared most everyone away. There were rumors upon rumors that I was insane. Even more that said I’d killed my parents and kept lying about the permission forms they signed for school. I wasn’t exactly popular, let’s just say that.” He leaned back, looking up at the sky and propping his hands on the tree. “Then Alma came along. I didn’t trust him for the longest time. He was pretty crazy himself, but everyone loved that creep. He completely ignored the rumors that I was crazy and that I was a murderer, and he’d bug me every day for months. I still haven’t figured out why he bothered. I made him cry so many times, little shit that I was. But he stuck around, and eventually it didn’t bug me that he was horrible at standing up for people. It didn’t bother me that even with him as my friend, I was always fighting alone. That was just how Alma was.” The clouds overhead were tall and fluffy. Maybe they would end up as a thunderstorm. The coolness of a storm would be relieving. “The rumors got worse with Alma around. Brat couldn’t keep his mouth shut about anything, so soon everyone knew that I would break things on accident a lot, and that I really did see things. The rumors went from me being a murderer and insane, to me being a murderer, insane, and pathetic. No one could make up their minds about it really, and I never really cared enough to stop them because it kept most everyone from talking to me. Except then people started making creepy dolls or drawings and leaving them places, pretending they couldn’t see them if I freaked out. The only good thing about my family’s deaths was that I got out of that hell.” He sighed, sitting forward again, elbows on his knees. He glanced at Gojyo, knowing that he’d pretty much just rambled pointlessly about nothing definite for way too long.
“I can’t judge you based on rumors, and I never will,” he said. “I’ll only ever judge you for you, as you are before me. That is why nothing has changed about what I think of you. Those things are in the past, and while they may have made you who you are, they don’t have much effect on how I see you.” He sighed. He was ranting again. The heat must be going to his head. He really did hate summer. “You’re Gojyo.”
.
Gojyo didn’t say anything, he really didn’t know what to say. Instead he wrapped an arm around Kanda’s shoulders and pulled him into a half hug, resting his head on Kanda.
.
Kanda huffed, rolling his eyes as a smile tugged at his lips. They were both fucking ridiculous. He managed to wrap his arm around Gojyo’s back so his hand was draped over Gojyo’s far shoulder, returning the hug for a moment before he let his arm drop.
.
“Dude, we’re so fucked up.” And yet, together they kicked ass. “Thanks for the key.”
.
“We could be worse,” Kanda said. “We could be in an insane asylum, wearing those hugging jacket things.”
.
Gojyo just looked at him. But then he smiled and laughed, “Yeah, that would be worse.”
Violent Reactions - Chapter Five
Author: Crimson Illusion
Rated: T
Links: FF.net / AO3
Warnings: Potential seeming out of character-ness due to altered character back stories, High school AU
~*~
Festival Arc
~*~
Tiedoll had been humming more as of late, and Kanda was starting to get annoyed. Sure, he would never intentionally wish for Tiedoll to be anything but happy, but did he really have to be so fucking exuberant all the time? The man practically exuded sunshine and rainbows and it was fucking annoying. No wonder the old man was so easily hurt.
Grumbling under his breath, Kanda curled up on the couch against the armrest, trying to focus on his book past Tiedoll’s humming, the fan rattling across the room, and the fact that he was trying to listen for steps on the stairs.
.
Gojyo had been spending more and more time over Kanda’s. Consequently that meant less time at home, which he was happy for. Jien was glad too because it kept Gojyo out of trouble. Gojyo climbed the now very familiar steps to Kanda’s apartment and knocked on the door.
.
“It’s open,” Tiedoll called before Kanda could even close his book. Kanda looked up in time to see Tiedoll drift out of the room like an absent minded feather on the wind. But feathers didn’t have minds to begin with, and Kanda didn’t even know what he was talking about anymore. Shaking his head, he closed the book as the door opened, setting it on the coffee table.
“Yo.”
.
“Hey,” Gojyo said cracking a lopsided grin as he took off his shoes and flopped next to Kanda on the couch. “’Sup?”
.
“The hell if I know,” Kanda said. “Tiedoll seems to be planning something.”
“Oh, don’t make it sound so suspicious,” Tiedoll said, sweeping back into the room. Had he been wearing a cloak, it would have looked dramatic, as it was, he just looked stupid. Stupidity aside, Kanda couldn’t help but notice two white boxes in Tiedoll’s grasp, so very similar to the one that had contained the sweater he’d received the Christmas prior.
“What’s with the boxes?”
“Gifts,” Tiedoll said. “For the both of you.” He handed one box to Kanda and one to Gojyo. “Go on, open them up.” He beamed.
.
Gojyo could probably count on one hand the number of times he had actually been given a gift so he took the box with a little awe. Opening it, he saw cloth?
.
Kanda opened his box and found a black cloth with dark blue and silver koi embroidered on it. He lifted it from the box, a yukata unfolding gracefully. It was easy enough to tell that it was made of high quality silk. Beneath the yukata was an obi. A woman’s obi. Kanda glared at Tiedoll.
“Seriously?” he hissed. “Must you dress me like a woman every god damn time?”
“But it looks so good on you!” Tiedoll exclaimed.
.
Gojyo lifted his out. “Um… what is it?”
.
“A yukata,” Kanda said. “Traditional Japanese garb for summer festivals.”
.
“Oh, cool.” Gojyo’s was red with fans. “Thank you.”
.
“You’re welcome,” Tiedoll said, smiling kindly. “Why don’t you boys go get changed and then you can go to the festival?”
“You’re tying the obi,” Kanda said, huffing a defeated sigh. It wasn’t like it was ugly anyway.
.
Gojyo followed after Kanda to where they could change. He put it on but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out how to tie it. And he kept getting the sleeves stuck in the folds when he did his tying attempts.
.
“You are hopeless,” Kanda said, still half dressed in his regular clothes. He snatched the simple black obi from Gojyo’s fingers and held it between his teeth, folding the Yukata properly before wrapping the obi around his waist twice and securing it with a simple knot over his right hip.
Kanda dressed swiftly after that, quickly securing his own Yukata with a small obi that would be hidden under the decorative one. Tiedoll was going to have to do that one though because if Kanda tried he’d end up looking like a hooker.
.
“Thanks,” he said when Kanda came over and helped him. His heart jumped a little when Kanda reached around him. It was odd, but it wasn’t a bad feeling and Gojyo did not spend a lot of time thinking on it. “So how do I look?”
.
Kanda paused at the question, turning to regard Gojyo, eyes scanning him up and down a few times. The yukata really did suit him, Kanda had to admit. Tiedoll knew what he was doing. Kanda’s head tipped to the side. “Ironically Japanese,” he settled for.
.
“I can handle that,” He took a minute to look at himself, and then at Kanda. “Yours looks good too.”
.
“I look like a chick,” Kanda grumbled, shuffling the decorative obi over his fingers. It was a pale blue with silver ripple patterns and bright red Japanese maple leaves embroidered onto it. Decorative, and god did he hope no one pissed him off while he was wearing it, because that thing was going to be pretty much the same as a corset.
.
“Meh,” He still looked damn good.
.
Kanda shrugged and headed out of the room, obi in one hand and Mugen in the other. Like hell he was leaving the sword behind, even if it would look slightly out of place dressed as he was. Tiedoll didn’t say anything, simply beaming and taking the decorative obi and motioning for Kanda to turn around. He hummed as he wrapped it twice around Kanda’s abdomen, pulling it tight before tying an elaborate knot in the back, leaving the loops small and slightly puffy and the tails almost long enough to reach to bottom. Kanda would have complained except he knew that it was the only knot Tiedoll had ever figured out, so he settled for making a face.
“Oh, the geta are in the closet,” Tiedoll said, plucking and pulling at the loops of Kanda’s obi one last time before disappearing into the hall.
“Stupid old man,” Kanda grumbled. He might as well put a flower in his hair and paint his face with makeup.
.
“So what’re we checking out tonight?”
.
“No idea,” Kanda said. “I’ve never been to this festival. I don’t know what’s there.”
.
“Food stalls it is then.”
.
“Sounds good to me,” Kanda said.
Tiedoll chose then to return with two pairs of wooden sandals. One had strange feet on the bottom and Kanda sighed. Of course. He took the taller pair, and handed the normal, flat ones to Gojyo.
“Here’s to the loudest fucking shoes in existence,” he said, dropping his to the floor with a clatter. He didn’t bother trying to bend over to adjust them, simply using his toes to shift them about. Once they were acceptably placed, he put them on, gaining another two inches in height. He was still practically a midget next to Gojyo though.
.
Gojyo rested an arm on Kanda’s shoulder. “Still a good height.”
.
Kanda felt a tick forming in his eyebrow but said nothing. Until, of course, Tiedoll tossed something black at him and he caught it. It was a small pouch made of the same material as his yukata, and the long drawstrings tied off into a loop to be worn around his wrist. It was a god damn purse.
“Tiedoll!” Kanda raged, stepping away from Gojyo, the bag dropping to the floor with a quiet clink as the money inside hit the wood, reaching for Mugen. “I am not a fucking woman!”
.
Gojyo stifled a laugh because he knew Kanda was mad, but it was kinda funny.
.
Kanda made to lunge at Tiedoll with a scream, but realized halfway through that he couldn’t actually breathe properly and ended up staggering instead, planting Mugen in the floor to stay upright. Tiedoll cried out in horror that Kanda had stabbed the floor, and Kanda thought that would have to do for his retribution for now until he got out of that damn obi. A couple quick, shallow breaths later, Kanda’s head stopped swimming and he jerked Mugen free, sheathing it. He used the butt end of the sheath to pick up the purse, flicking it up into the air so he could grab it. He looped it around his left wrist, holding Mugen in his left hand, and turned sharply, headed for the door.
“I’ll kill you tomorrow,” he said, slamming the door open.
.
Gojyo stood stock still during the exchange doing his best furniture impression. When Kanda stormed out he stood there for a second then turned to Tiedoll. “Thanks again,” he said before following Kanda out.
.
“Have fun” Tiedoll called after them, waving a handkerchief.
Kanda growled but said nothing, hip checking the door at the bottom open and stalking outside. It was hot and muggy, but the sun was going down so it wouldn’t be too bad out later.
.
Gojyo followed him along, just behind him. Nope, he wasn’t a little freaked by what just happened not at all. “Food then?”
.
“Food sounds good,” Kanda said, nodding slightly, falling back a step or two so he was walking beside Gojyo. “Have you been to the festival before?”
.
“Eh, maybe once or twice? Depended if Jien was working or not. I didn’t go really at all as a kid.”
.
“Possible surprises abound then,” Kanda said, rolling his shoulders and shrugging. “Hopefully they’re all good ones.”
.
“That one smells good, come one,” he said heading towards the nearest stall.
.
“Are you a dog?” Kanda asked with a quiet scoff, smirking as he trailed after Gojyo to the stall. It did smell rather appetizing, he had to admit. It was fried squid on a stick, and Kanda almost rolled his eyes.
.
Gojyo got two and handed one to Kanda. “Squid?”
.
“Thank you,” Kanda said, accepting the fried invertebrate. He took a small bite and hummed contentedly. Meat certainly wasn’t his favorite, but it wasn’t horrible either.
.
“It’s pretty good,” Gojyo said taking a bite. “Where to now?”
.
Kanda shrugged, looking around. Even though it was still pretty early, it was quite packed. Kanda wasn’t that surprised though. Festivals always attracted crowds. “The shrine?” he suggested. It looked clearer over that way, anyhow.
.
“Sure why not?”
.
Kanda nodded, slinging Mugen across his back so both his hands were free. He held his squid with one hand, nibbling at it occasionally, and grabbed Gojyo’s sleeve with his other, heading towards the shrine. The crowd between them and the shrine was the thickest though, and Kanda found himself sticking as close to Gojyo as possible without seeming too close.
.
Gojyo slung an arm around Kanda and pulled him out of the thick of the crowd. He sat on one of the steps to finish his squid.
.
Kanda raised an eyebrow at the arm around his shoulders but said nothing, and made no move to remove it, simply settling beside Gojyo to finish his own squid while it was still warm. It was the slightest bit quieter on the stairs, and Kanda watched the crowd around them, eyes flicking from one person to the next, unconsciously judging how much of a danger each individual was. None of them were dangerous, which made him and Gojyo the most dangerous people present, and it made Kanda smirk. He liked being one of the most dangerous people present anywhere.
.
When he finished he unslung his arm to light a cigarette. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments looking over the crowd. He had been looking forward to this all week.
.
“Come on,” Kanda said, getting to his feet and brushing off the back of his yukata. He offered Gojyo a hand. “I’ve never been to a festival properly before.” He wanted to ask Gojyo to show him around, but he felt it would be stupid and awkward to say, so he kept his mouth shut.
.
“We got to totally check out the game stalls then,” he said taking Kanda’s hand up.
.
“What kind of games are there?” Kanda asked.
.
“Eh the usual, ring and ball tosses, shooting ones, and catching fish.”
.
“Poor fish,” Kanda murmured. He looked up at Gojyo, head tipping.
“Which game do you suggest?” Kanda asked.
.
“I dunno, I’m always a fan of the ring toss.”
.
“Sounds good to me,” Kanda said. He offered Gojyo a smirk. “How’s your aim?”
.
“Top notch,” he smirked back.
.
“You sure?” Kanda taunted, nearly grinning. This might be fun.
.
“Wanna bet?” Gojyo rose to the challenge.
.
“I might,” Kanda said. “Lead the way, Ace. Let’s see who’s got the best aim.”
.
Gojyo pushed through the crowd to the ring toss stall. “How much you bettin’?”
.
“Five hundred,” Kanda said.
.
“You got it,” there was no way in hell he was gunna lose. He put down enough to play and got five rings. “You ready?”
.
Kanda nodded when he received his own rings. “When you are,” he said.
.
“Heh,” Gojyo tossed his first ring and it just caught the lip of the bottle, successfully ringing it.
.
Kanda tossed his own first ring, and it too landed around a bottle, just not the bottle he was aiming for. He frowned slightly, but didn’t comment.
.
Gojyo was not as lucky the next time. The guy next to him tossed a ring at the same time and they collided in the air, neither catching a bottle. “Damn.”
.
Kanda didn’t have any luck either, having tossed his ring too hard, it bounced off the board behind the bottle and fell to the ground. He grumbled to himself quietly, but there were still three rings to go.
.
Gojyo’s next one ringed a bottle, but he was starting to get cocky and the fourth missed.
.
Kanda’s third never even made it to the bottles, and the fourth knocked the bottle over instead. Suffice to say, he knew he was going to lose. He didn’t care over much though. It was just a game after all, and it was Gojyo.
.
“Ready for the last ring?” Gojyo grinned. There was nothing like a good-natured competition.
.
“You doubt me?” Kanda asked in mock surprise, making a slight show of tossing his last ring. It landed around Gojyo’s bottle and he almost face palmed. His aim was officially shit.
.
Gojyo laughed and tossed his own ring, sinking it right over Kanda’s.
.
“Bite me,” Kanda said, rolling his eyes. He was smiling slightly though as he pulled the promised five hundred yen from his purse.
.
“Didn’t know you were into that,” He teased taking the yen.
.
“Into what?” Kanda asked.
.
“Damn, Kid. You’re too innocent,” and slung an arm around Kanda. “Rematch or another stall?”
.
“I’m not innocent,” Kanda protested, elbowing Gojyo in the ribs lightly. “And I doubt my aim has improved in the past couple minutes, so that’s really up to you.”
.
“Oh trust me, you’re innocent. Hey, what’s that stall over there?” he pointed to another food stall.
.
Kanda glanced at the stall in question, raising an eyebrow. “They appear to be selling lotus seeds,” Kanda said.
.
“Wanna get some?”
.
Kanda shrugged. “If you want to,” he said.
.
“Cool,” he said starting over.
.
Kanda raised an eyebrow and followed Gojyo towards the stand. Kanda never reached it because bony finger latched around his elbow and spun him around to face whatever asshole had grabbed him. Kanda froze for a second in surprise when he found Xian was the person attached to the hand. He wouldn’t be for long if he kept holding his elbow though.
Fortunately, Xian let go once Kanda had been stopped, a sleazy sneer pulling at his thin lips as he raked a hand through his bleach-blond hair. “I knew you weren’t really a dude,” Xian said, laughing rudely. “Were you just pretending so no one would call you a whore for riding that fucker’s dick?”
“You-!” Kanda snarled, hands balling into fists. He couldn’t risk reaching for Mugen in such a crowd, but that wouldn’t stop him from decking Xian.
.
Gojyo turned around when he heard Xian. “You mean like you do with them?” Gojyo said, jerking a thumb at the assholes that flanked Xian.
.
“What?! No, you fag,” Xian said, looking disgusted. “I only fuck chicks, though I’d be willing to take this babe off your hands if you aren’t fucking her.”
“I’m a guy you jackass,” Kanda snapped, hitting Xian with a solid right cross. He felt at least one bone in his hand break when the punch landed poorly, but he couldn’t feel the pain yet, adrenaline searing through his veins.
.
It was an impressive punch, but it didn’t keep Xian down for long who was glaring daggers as he got up. “You bitch! You’re lucky I don’t hit girls,” he said meanly.
Gojyo stepped in at this point fisting his hand in Xian’s shirt. “He ain’t a girl and I’m pretty sure he’s not above hitting pussies like you. Now why don’t you back the fuck off or I’ll rearrange your face.”
.
“Who the fuck are you kidding, I’m gonna fucking castrate him,” Kanda snarled. He was breathing too heavily, he knew. The constriction of the Obi would cause him to pass out if he didn’t calm down within the next five minutes, but he was going to push it as long as he could because that fucker needed a lesson in pain. Maybe he should just break his hands or something. Serve him right for grabbing him.
.
“Oh, then he’s all yours.” Gojyo stepped out of the way but still held onto Xian so he wouldn’t run.
.
Kanda couldn’t help the truly evil smirk that curled his lips up, reaching back to grab Mugen and draw it over his shoulder. Since their little confrontation had started, the crowd around them had backed off some giving the room he needed to do what he wanted without hurting any innocents. Of course, it also gave him a fantastic audience and that just made his smirk sharper.
After a couple quick, deft movements, Kanda sheathed Mugen over his shoulder as Xian’s shorts and boxers fell in tatters to the ground around his feet. “Keep talking, and I promise that your clothes aren’t the only thing I’ll remove from your body,” Kanda said evenly.
.
Gojyo stepped back laughing so hard he was crying. It was a beautiful moment.
.
Kanda rolled his eyes and turned away from the red faced and fuming Xian. He could hear those around them starting to whisper and wrinkled his nose. So much for not drawing attention to himself. Now that he’d dealt with Xian, he could breathe easier, but he could also feel the pain starting to bloom in his hand. He made himself ignore it for a while longer, grabbing Gojyo’s wrist and tugging him along.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go wait for things to quiet down again.”
.
Gojyo was still struggling to regain his composure but let Kanda drag him away.
.
There were some benches set up along the edges of the grounds, and Kanda headed for them. They were mostly empty, one bench occupied by an elderly couple, and the other holding a cat. Kanda shooed the cat gently off the bench and sat, groaning in frustration.
“I was hoping we wouldn’t have to deal with any assholes tonight,” he muttered.
.
Gojyo was back to normal. “Dude, we’re so fucked but that, that was worth every time he kicked my ass.”
.
“Why are we fucked?” Kanda asked. “He was being an ass. If anyone’s getting in trouble, it’s him. He’s the one who’s indecently exposed after all.”
.
“He’s gunna be out for blood now though. He’s never gunna leave us alone. Stupid ass doesn’t know when to fuck off.”
.
“I make good on my promises,” Kanda said. “If he tries anything, I will remove all nonessential parts from his body. Slowly. With a spoon.”
.
“I’ll hold’im. How’s your hand?”
.
“Broken,” Kanda said, frowning down at it.
.
“Damn. Wanna head back and wrap it up?”
.
“It’ll be fine so long as I don’t punch anyone else in the face,” Kanda said, shaking his head. “Besides, aren’t the fireworks going to start soon?”
.
“Mm, most likely,” Gojyo said looking up. It was a clear night. Perfect for fireworks.
.
Kanda tipped his head back, looking up at the stars that were blooming across the inky expanse of sky as the night got fully dark, the sun long set. He was silent for a moment before he turned back to Gojyo. “Thank you.”
.
“Nn, for what?”
.
“For everything you did just then,” Kanda said shrugging. “It was… nice… having someone on my side.”
.
“Heh, that’s what friends are for,” he said slinging an arm over Kanda’s shoulders and pulling him into a half hug before reaching into his pocket again for cigarettes.
.
Kanda hummed, leaning into the hug slightly for the moment it lasted. He rubbed the pad of his left thumb firmly over the palm of his right hand, trying to locate the break just to give him something to distract himself. He and Alma had been good friends, best friends even, but when it had come to fights like the one Kanda had just had, Alma had never stood on his side. He tried to help, but the dolt had a way of saying things that just made it all worse. Kanda pressed hard against the broken bone when he found it, washing out the memories with the physical pain of it. Those times were long over now. No need for him to remember them.
Hissing quietly, Kanda eased up the pressure on the broken bone, giving it a couple more passes with his finger on both sides to make sure it wasn’t crooked before lacing his fingers together and letting his hand lie limp in his lap. He didn’t know what to say in return though, so he looked back up towards the sky.
.
A sudden whistling filled their air as the first firework was shot into the air. Gojyo felt really good about right now. Sitting in companionable silence with Kanda watching the fireworks. If anyone had told him last fall that he would be friends with the weird creepy kid with the sword he would have laughed but he was really glad they got stuck on that crappy project together. Kanda had been there when he freaked out in the nurses office and hadn’t made his life hell for it. And not too long ago he gave Gojyo refuge when he couldn’t be home. Kanda didn’t judge him either. So kicking the ass of some asshole was a small price to pay for everything Kanda’d done.
.
Kanda startled slightly at the loud bang the firework gave off as it burst colorfully across the night sky, glowing red sparkles raining down before fading into nothing. He glanced at Gojyo for a second, looking back up as the next high whistle indicated the next firework. This one burst like sparking electricity, the bright silver sparks fizzing out from the center with a slightly quieter bang. He’d never seen fireworks from this close before and they were really pretty.
.
About half way through, Gojyo stole a glance at Kanda. He a little of that slack-jawed awe going on and Gojyo couldn’t help but notice how the different colors in the sky lit his face in different light. He also couldn’t help but realize Kanda was actually pretty attractive either. He forcibly turned his attention back to the fireworks.
.
Kanda saw Gojyo glance at him from the corner of his eye and managed to regain some of his composure when Gojyo turned back to watching the fireworks. He closed his mouth, glancing at Gojyo himself. The lighting was weird and it threw Gojyo’s face into an odd relief, the colors shining brightly. Kanda found himself, for the first time in a long time actually wanting to draw of his own volition. The broken hand wasn’t going to do him any favors though, so he resolved to commit the way Gojyo looked to memory for later when he could draw it.
As more and more fireworks started filling the sky, Kanda realized he was staring at Gojyo and turned his attention back to the pyrotechnics. It was spectacular, if not loud, and Kanda didn’t even bother trying to keep his awe contained, a small, surprised noise making it past parted lips.
.
The finale was actually pretty good for their backwater little town. After it ended, Gojyo sat there for a moment, the after images still echoing in his eyes. “Pretty cool, huh?”
.
“Pretty, yes,” Kanda said. “Cool; I doubt it, they’re called fireworks for a reason.”
.
Gojyo shoved his shoulder lightly, “Smart ass. Wanna head back?”
.
“Sure,” Kanda said, shrugging.


