“Why might a little girl harbor such tangible fears of demonic possession? I'm sure the deeply religious paradigm I was steeped in played a role. We firmly believe in Satan's power and the ability of his legion of fallen spirits to possess individuals. We believe that evil can inhabit physical forms, sometimes fleetingly, sometimes for extended periods. Having been raised to believe the very air I breathed was thick with unseen forces battling for dominion over my soul, it was a small step for my young mind to imagine that battle raging in my own bedroom.”
Summary: You and Santiago spend the night before the wedding talking about feelings
Warning: None
Words: 1239
Author's Note: Hello! This chapter is short and is a filler so it’s kinda boring. I’m sorry. I was really struggling with this one, but I like the things that Santiago has to say. Chapter 9 and 10 should be better... Ahh were almost done... I cry lol but I have a surprise at the very end of the chapter...
The next few days felt like a whirlwind. You were busy preparing for the wedding. You and the people apart from your wedding party were helping set up last-minute decorations at the reception venue, making everything perfect for tomorrow. You felt overwhelmed by everything. You hid out in a supply closet, sitting on a bucket. You needed to be alone.
The closet door opened, Santiago peeking his head in.
“There you are!” He says letting himself in, and quickly shutting the door. “You alright?” he leans against the wall.
“No…” you admitted.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not here…I’m sorry I just needed to get away for a minute.” You sigh.
“I know you do. You looked overwhelmed out there. Everyone’s been wondering where you ran off too.”
“I wanna get out of here. ”
“Everything's just about done. How about we go get some food, I’m kinda craving a burger and a milkshake and we can talk some more? ”
“That sounds good.”
“Come on!” He says, opening the door. You stand out and walk out with him.
“Baby!” Alex yells as he sees you and Santiago enter the venue hall.
You force yourself to smile as you make your way towards Alex. “Where’d you go? We finished up everything.”
“I was just talking to Santiago about dealing with our family tomorrow” you lied.
“Tomorrows the big day! I can wait to see you walk down that aisle” Alex says, grabbing your hands and kissing them.
“Yeah, I can't wait.”
“Alright, Well I’m headed with the guys tonight and I know you’ll be over at the hotel with the girls. I’ll see you tomorrow” He leans in giving you a smooch on the cheek. “I love you!”
Alex walks away, catching up with the guys towards the opposite end of the hall, towards the double door exit.
“Ready to go?” one of your bridesmaids asked.
“I’ll meet you guys at the hotel”
“Okay! Come on ladies let's go!” The girls all waved to you, headed towards the exit.
You and Santiago were left alone. You looked around staring at all the decorations, and lights strung up.
“Ready for that burger?” he calls out after you as he stands by the door.
You turn to face him. “Yeah, let's go,” you say working towards him.
…
“UGH it's so good.” you moan after taking a bit of your burger. You and Santiago were sitting on the curb outside of a burger joint.
“Told you they have the best burgers!” Santiago laughed, popping a french fry in his mouth.
“I feel like I shouldn't be eating this a day before the wedding…”
“Smiles, it's just a burger, it's not gonna kill you.”
“You’re right” you take another bite, then wash it down with your Strawberry shake.
“..So..How’s Frankie?”
Santiago looks at you and shrugs ‘Alright I guess. I haven't talked to him in a few days.”
“He told you what happened?”
Santi nodded, biting into his burger. “Mhmm,” he mumbled. “He told me about Lilah,” he said, talking with his mouth full.
“She looks just like him.” You smile.
“She meant well, you know”
“I know she did… I can’t believe she did all of that for him.” You watch the cars pass by on the road.
“She loves him more than anything.”
“She seems like a really sweet kid. He raised her well. I knew he would be a great father.”
“He is.”
You guys stayed silent for a while.
“You wanna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?” Santiago breaks the silence
You sigh, putting your face in your hands. “Santi, I don't know what I’m doing…I told Alex I wanted this but part of me doesn’t… Frankie, he poured his heart out and kissed me even…and I can’t stop thinking about him- I don’t know what to do, what do I do?” you looked over to him with tears in your eyes.
“Smiles, I can’t tell you what to do. It’s up to you. You’re the one that's gonna have to make the decision.” Santiago scooches over to you.
“I’m scared Santi…” you cried. He puts his arms around you, pulling you into him, your head resting against his shoulder.
“Scared of what Smiles?”
“I’m just scared I'm going to make the wrong decision. Alex is safe and I'm secure, but I want Frankie as well, but if I go after Frankie and we do end up together, what if things go wrong? What if things are just as bad as last time? I can't go back to Alex because I choose Frankie…”
Santiago hated seeing you like this, but all he really could do was give you some guiding advice. “Love isn't about settling. Love is about loving someone unconditionally through thick and thin. You want to be with this person all the time, try and do new things together with them. They’re the first person you think about in the morning, the last thing you think about before you sleep, you can’t live without them, you’d do absolutely anything for them.” Santiago rubs your back. He always knew the right thing to say.
“It’s been like this from the start. Ever since Frankie came back into my life, my head has just been swirling, I just want it to stop. I just want to feel at ease, but I can’t when I’m stuck in between.”
“For once, listen to your heart and not your head! You just have to listen. Deep down, know what you truly want, but allow yourself to listen. You just have to feel what you feel. You can’t keep shoving it aside because the feelings are never going to go away until you face them head-on.”
You let out a groan. He was right. You just had to let go, stop shoving away what your heart has been trying to tell you.
“I just don't want to hurt anybody.”
“I know you don’t but that's the way it is. Someone is bound to get hurt. This is about your feelings, how you feel. You have to do what's best for you, and sometimes doing that you hurt people in the process.” He continues to rub your arm, comforting you.
“Can you take me back to the hotel?”
“Sure, come on” he stands up holding his hand for you to take.
Santiago drove you back to the hotel.
“Thanks, Santi.” You said unbuckling your seat belt.
“Things will work out, okay? Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be.”
You pull him into a hug.
“I love you. Thank you for always being here for me.”
“I love you, too. I’m always going to be here for you, Smiles. I’m your ride or die.”
“Pff okay, says the one who hated me following him around and bullying me as a child” pulling away from him.
“Well, that's because you were an annoying little twerp that didn’t know what boundaries mean. Tough love kid, tough love.”
You both end up laughing.
“Whatever you choose to do, I support you, hundred percent. I got your back… get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye Santi.” You open the passenger door, stepping out, shutting it closed.
You stood there watching Santiago drive off.
His words circling in your head.
listen to your heart and not your head
listen to your heart and not your head
