#frecklesshake

[donutcats]

frecklesshake replied to your post: gilbert blythe invented heart eyes and no you...

extreme heart eyes when she resulted to violence

gilbert, 5 seconds after getting whacked with a slate as his face starts to bruise: I can’t believe I’m going to marry her moody: you don’t have to gilbert: No. I’m Gonna 

[anneapocalypse]

random question that you don't really need to reply to but hey i need to vent: do you ever get tired by fandom these days? like, more than you used to? 'cause fandom used to be a much more pleasant space for me, and now it just gives me awful, awful anxiety, generally because of the turn the tumblr "discourse" took

I’m exhausted.

I’ve been in this fandom for five years, and there have been a few times I came close to walking out, but it’s a long time since I gave any serious thought to that. Years. Though my interests can make me feel pretty lonely at times (and, if I’m being honest, I’ve had some pretty intense bouts of that loneliness in the past year), I also feel comfortable here. I feel like I’ve carved out a corner for myself, even if sometimes I’m the only one in it.

I haven’t really thought about just packing up and moving on since probably season 11. And even now, I’m not seriously considering it beyond a few moments of what if I just left?, but I am feeling deeply exhausted, especially with the inexcusable bullying that’s been perpetrated by certain corners of the fandom, but also with other small cumulative things about the general fandom culture that the increasing polarization makes me feel less and less free to even talk about.

I’m nervous to even vent on my own blog about feeling isolated in my fandom interests (not expecting anyone to change, just to get the feeling out) for fear of being seen as contributing to the problems of popular ship backlash, for fear of even of a whiff of appearing to support those who think bullying is acceptable response to similar feelings.

There have definitely been some bright spots lately. Season 15 for all its hiccups has given me some real meat to sink my analytical teeth into and believe me, I couldn’t be happier about that, and I’ve had a lot of fun following this season. There have been a few really sweet comments about my meta made in reblogs and tags and such that I haven’t responded to directly, but know that I’ve seen them, and appreciate them deeply. There are some people who’ve been a true ray of sunshine to me, and some conversations that have helped pull me out of that sense of isolation.

But I am tired, and frankly I’m scared, based largely on bad experiences in another fandom, about where this increasingly polarized fandom culture is heading. Backlash against popular ships may be inevitable, but bullying is inexcusable. You can’t simultaneously claim to be addressing a widespread issue and relentlessly target one individual. The issue becomes a smokescreen, and the disingenuous motives become apparent very quickly. And from there, a genuine good faith discussion becomes near-impossible.

And when discussion becomes impossible, when people are just focused on trying to defend their friends and themselves from attack, the war’s already over and we’ve all lost.

I’ve made my mistakes too, in my time in this fandom–I’m not perfect either and I know I’ve spoken where I shouldn’t have, in ways I shouldn’t have. I’ve given in to biting sarcasm where thoughtful diplomacy might’ve actually accomplished something. I’ve hyperfocused on an issue and lost my sense of proportion. It’s not as though I don’t understand how that happens. I’m passionate. I’m a hothead. These days I’m a hothead fighting my hothead impulses daily, striving for thoughtfulness and clarity and perspective over reactionary snark. I can only do my best, and that’s all any of us can do.

But I won’t deny I’m tired, and I won’t pretend I know what the answer is, or how to try and help to set things right.

[idrilka]

ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED.

never written it before, but definitely could give it a try!

and i would say yuuri/victor, except then i would probably get jossed by the fucking canon.

________________________put a fanfic trope in my inbox and I will tell you:how likely I am to write it // what character(s) or pairing I’d most likely write it for

[anneapocalypse]

@frecklesshake replied to your post “All this time I’ve been thinking Carolina got hit by a truck on the...”

i love how i can always trust you to go back to that episode, you are my rock in this fandom

<3 It is one of those Constants in the universe tbh: Anne will be back to crying about “Spiral” sooner or later.

[anneapocalypse]

@frecklesshake replied to your post “random question that you don't really need to reply to but hey i need...”

Hah, incidentally, season 11 and the beginning of season 12? I think? were what made me drop rvb. I'm considering going back and watching to keep up with the s15 revelations, but I don't know? Even then, I'm so disinclined to *produce* anything fandom-wise that it's just... Eh. Idk. I was talking more about fandom as a whole, but if it makes you feel any better, I've always kind of looked up to your cool-headed analysis of things (will finish in another ask).

<3

Honestly a lot of what I said probably translates to fandom as a whole, considering that I had uncomfortably similar experiences in another fandom just last year. Different polarization, but some similarities.

As great as it always is to see you around, you gotta do what’s best for you and if a fandom isn’t bringing you joy, then sometimes it’s best to find something else that does.

[anneapocalypse]

Happiest of birthdays!

Thank you! <3

[teammompike]

frecklesshake replied to your post “Do you have any playlists for critrole you really like, or maybe a big...”

this is random but at some point i did move some of your cr playlist tag to spotify for writing audio and it's here: critical role songs

HOLY COW THIS IS AMAZING

[verbjectives]

the lies of locke lamora?

added to TBR | on my TBR | couldn’t finish it | did not enjoy | it was OK | liked it | loved it | favorite | not interested

i’m embarrassed to say that it’s been sitting on my shelf for about a year now and i still haven’t gotten around to it but i’m hoping that i’ll get around to it this summer