Welp... it's been about 4 months since I was able to slip into the astral? Sounds about right... I haven't been able to project because I've been having 'newbie' problems.
I would almost get there and immediately get squirrel brain, with the passing of my father in law in November I think about him a lot and of course help my husband cope with his loss. Losing a parent is hard. (Thank you for understanding if this statement sounds unsympathetic, I am very tired)
I have had visits in my dreams but I'm by no means a lucid dreamer and 8 times out of 10 I couldn't speak at all but boy could Ezilion speak to me....
Lots of the usual insults of course, (dumb child, useless apprentice, failure, impotent, he even called me a spineless mealworm 😳) you know the fun stuff. I can still feel his energy with me though, I can feel his disappointment in me for dropping my studies the way I did. Though I haven't stopped my spell jars, which I can almost hear a half hearted grunt in a 'way to go doing the basics' type of way. My elf friend has pretty much up and left, I'm sure he found someone else on the astral that could 'play with him' the way he wants and needs, he really got upset with me, which I understand but I had other things to handle and being a playmate was not one of my priorities, I do feel bad and I could've used his comfort but I understand, he may have been hundreds of years old but he did act like a 5 year old. (I say that with love and respect of course)
I have not seen Freya or heard from her since the night of my FIL funeral. In which she gave me such strength, she gave me the strength to have a candle lighting ritual and I could feel my FIL there, as if he were with her. I lit a candle and told my husband and his friends to say they're goodbyes and as soon as my husband said 'I love you dad' the candle blew out. (It was windy but this was different) it was almost as if that was all he needed to hear, which of course some people said it was the wind and some said it was scott, but I KNEW it was him. That's all he needed to hear, the other words that were said didn't matter. I felt a hand on my shoulder and a gentle squeeze and knew it was Freya, she told me to 'contiue to comfort your husband and get rest, you know as well as any today isn't the hardest.'
I do know that. The funeral isn't the hardest, it's getting the paper work ready, looking through storage, the first holidays, the mood swings.... It's been good though, my husband is strong and I am so lucky.
I only have one resolution, that is to become a better witch than I was last year, to work harder in my studies, to stop procrastinating with my health and to finally continue on the book I'm writing. 2020 will be my year. So mote it be.
