Date Everything AU but your roommate receives the dateviators first, friendzones all of the dateables, and shamelessly flirts with you on behalf of the them LOL reblogs and likes appreciated <33
suggestive warning! loosely inspired by this post by @driftd0ll
The house is a rental instead in this AU. And since it’s a two-story house, it’ll cost a pretty penny, so splitting the payment with a roommate is much more efficient. For consistency, your roommate is called Roomie.
At the start, it was fun! You had your job, Roomie had their Valdivian job. However, they lost it to AI and you essentially became their Sugar Babe. You thought they would be moping for weeks. That is, until you come home from work, seeing them wear pink-tinted glasses and a cheeky grin. You’re unaware of the fact Roomie has been intentionally riling up the dateables from the start.
For example, the two of you to share a bed. There’s only one bedroom after all. However, the way Roomie is straddling you— pinning your hips down with theirs— grinning ear to ear, you wonder what possessed them; all the while Roomie hears the objects going crazy through the dateviators.
Betty is watching breathlessly, sitting near the edge of the bed, legs at her side. When Roomie slowly trails a hand to your neck, she shivers. When you squeeze Roomie’s waist, she bites her lip. Betty wonders if you would do the same for her.
Amir has never been more grateful for his placement in the bedroom: a front row seat. He watches you react. A twitch of your fingers, gaze subtly darkening. He soon notices you holding back, so he urges Roomie to take action. The moment they roll their hips, and you finally let out a breathless sigh? Amir simply rests his chin against his hand, eyes gliding across your form. You have never looked more beautiful.
Ben-hwa is admittedly a little jealous. Forced to watch and not participate? They’re dying over here! Being a toy, only to not be used causes them to huff. Though… Ben-wha supposes they can forgive the both of you. Just make sure to put a real good show for them, yeah?
Of course, the kitchen has something have their moments too. Roomie makes coffee for you in the mornings. Can you get the cups on the top shelf? It’s only fair! Half-asleep, you lift a leg on the counter and arch your back to reach for the table wear. The clothes you’re wearing riding up/down, revealing skin underneath…
Cabrizzo never knew he had such restraint. He feels your leg press against his lower chest at the right amount pressure— and holy shit, blood rushing to his face. Last a few more seconds, he thinks, head spinning from the close proximity. Just a few more!
Friar Errorl is ranting to other objects, expressing how indecent you are! The dateables don’t take his rants seriously. After all, it’s hypocritical when the man is trying to subtly steal glances at your ass.
Miranda stares openly. She has confidence in knowing what she wants, and right now, the woman is deciding. The Migas need to produce a new song… but they never specified what genre of music. Her eyes drift down to your legs. She absentmindedly hums, beginning to strum a few chords. Perhaps she could dedicate this song to you?
Extras ! !
Hector is oh-so grateful for being an HVAC. Vents are present in almost every room in the house. He can see everything. From the way you huff because Roomie tapped your ass while passing by, to you lifting them on top of the counter— as they’ve been pissing you off the past few days (which may have not led to locked lips and unholy noises erupting from you & them). Hector may be the HVAC, but even he can feel the heat overflowing.
Dorian feels like he’s interrupting something. Truly. The man is literally everywhere you turn. He usually blocks other objects from snooping during your… activities. Other times, he’s the one being teased: your back hitting his frame as Roomie corners you. You’re so close. If you had the dateviators he could just— he’s snapped out of his stupor when Roomie giggles at him. You better wear those damn glasses soon, otherwise he might just die from pent-up frustration.
Eddie & Volt are more annoyed than ever, the latter hiding it much better. Alcohol loosens lips, and they’ve heard all about the renters… escapades. Volt grumbles. He wants to at least see. The Breaker Box hidden away in a storage closet is frustrating. Eddie rolls his eyes at the confession, but doesn’t disagree. (He’d rather touch instead.)
