#friendshipask

[touplift]

Hi sorry to bother you, but I have a friend who has recently got involved with drinking and drugs and is trying to be rebellious. I want to help her, but whenever I mention something she says I am judging her. I just don't want to see anything bad happen to her. What do you think I should do?

Hey there!

I have been in your situation before. It’s hard to see a friend slip away into the wrong lifestyle, especially when they think you’re judging them when you show concern.

In these cases, I usually just let them know that I’m praying for them and that I’m here for them. Other than extending those offers, all you can do is love on them like crazy. Show genuine interest in their life, thoughts, and feelings. Show them what it means to be a true friend - one who sticks close through all trials of life to help one another up. 

Pray, pray, pray! There is so, so much power in prayer. Pray against the strongholds in her life and pray that God will reveal His love to her. 

Praying for your dear friend to overcome and for you to continue to be a glowing light of love.

-Summer

[touplift]

Hi can you please give me any bible and personal advice on shyness? Is it possible to overcome being shy? Or rather being an introvert and being drained when I am with people? Even when I hang out with church people it's exhausting for me & I never feel better after being with people. I hate it and I don't want to be this way. I'm afraid of being like this forever. Any advice?

Hello :)

First I just want to encourage you to accept the way God has made you. He has made you to be uniquely you. :) I too am shy and don’t like being with too many people at once so I get where you’re at. It’s okay to be shy and introverted.

I don’t think you need to “overcome” shyness, but instead try to push yourself to be more open to spending time with others. But don’t try to be someone you’re not; be who you really are and don’t be ashamed of it. Be proud that God made you to be more reserved and don’t let anyone tear you down because of it.

You have to pray. Ask God to give you a little extra boldness when you hang out with people - that He gives you a boost of energy/patience - whatever you may need. Keep seeking for the company of others in Christ. In order to change, you have to want it - and as cliche as that sounds, it's true. You have to be active in what you want to achieve to achieve it. I believe in you! God does too! He calls us to step out of our comfort zones. Ask God to take you out of your comfort zone and He will. All you have to do is ask Him and genuinely mean it in your heart. Yes, this is challenging for introverts like us - but just imagine about how God can use you for His name when you step up to a challenge for Him.

So while I'm encouraging you to step out, I do want you to know that it's okay to be an introvert and like the time to yourself. I totally get it and love solitude. But make sure when you're having your alone time that it's not to be secluded, but instead for solitude. 

Blessings & prayers your way.

-Summer :)

[touplift]

Hi there! So in dance we're doing a group project soon, and this is the last one before the end of the semester & I won't be taking dance next year. Anyways, I want to work with a different group other than my friends so I have the chance to get to know everyone in the class. When I told my friend this she seemed offended and annoyed and just replied with an 'okay..' that was left hanging in the air. I feel bad but my decision is still the same. Am I being a bad friend?

Hello fellow dancer friend! :)

I think that wanting to work with another group is great! That can also expand your dance style and not just your friendships. Your friend was probably caught off guard when you told her you wanted to work with other girls in the class because she’s used to always having you in her group. I’m sure she was kind of bummed out so that’s why she responded the way that she did.

All girls are like that, but we get over it eventually. Just treat her like you normally would and forget it happened, because I’m sure she’ll forget too.

Praying for you both and that your groups succeed at your projects!

-Summer

[touplift]

i'm having a hard time making friends at my youth group. would you guys please pray for me? thank you :)

Hey there! We will definitely be praying for you! When I moved to live with my dad, I had to join a new youth group which was really scary for me because I had been with my old one for almost 5 years and was so comfortable with them. Once I finally got up the courage to go to this new one, it was so great! I literally just walked into the person's house, went up to a girl that looked my age and said "hi I'm Maddie I'm new!" And she was so nice and it was kinda awkward at first but everyone was very welcoming and I made some great friends! Sometimes all you have to do is just walk up to someone, say hi, and grit your teeth through some awkward small talk for a great friendship to blossom! Not sure if that relates at all, but I am sure you will be able to find some good friends :) 

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 

:) --Maddie

[touplift]

So I'm having a bit of a problem. I really like this guy from my church, we have hung out multiple times and it's starting to get flirty between us and I'm starting to really like him. He's extremely good looking, has a great personality and loves The Lord w/ all his heart but there is just something that seems off. He is always making little comments that make fun of me and it kinda hurts. I don't really want to talk about him about it because we don't know each other THAT well. Help!

Hey there, lady! 

If he is making little comments here and there that hurt you, you do need to let him know sooner than later. I am sure he’s not intending to hurt your feelings, but sometimes guys just don’t know. It’s important that you express your feelings of hurt to him now so he can work on those things. Never let anything prolong that shouldn’t. I am also sure that when you bring it up to him that he’ll feel bad and really be sure to think before he talks in the future.

Also, just because I care about you! You said that you don’t know each other super well, but you two are getting flirty now…be careful. Remember to guard your heart.

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” -Proverbs 4:23

Take your time getting to know each other and build a firm, Christ-centered friendship before it escalades into anything possible in the future. You need a solid foundation and that takes time to build. So I just want to encourage you in that! Keep your heart set on the Lord’s and follow His leading in your life. I’m praying for you and if you ever need a gal to talk to, message me on my personal blog off-anon. :)

-Summer

[touplift]

I've grown to be best friends with a godly, inspiring young man. I feel incredibly blessed by this friendship, but sometimes wonder if God had something beyond a friendship in mind for us. This guy, however, has not defined our relationship, and I don't foresee him doing so in the near future. Is it in my place to tell him that I've been feeling conflicted and confused and don't want to cross any emotional boundaries before knowing what he's thinking? Or is that simply the man's job?

Hey there!

God blesses us with friendships with our brothers in Christ and they should be incredible. I understand your mind wandering into the “what if” scenario, but when you start to find yourself wandering there, ask God in prayer where your intentions and thoughts should be.

There is also a huge difference between the “what if” thoughts and being confused/conflicted. So I think you need to spend some time in prayer and thought and really figure out what’s going on for real. In my opinion, I think you should keep to yourself about the situation and just let the friendship flourish even more and don’t let yourself think on possible future scenarios. 

Things take time. Don’t let your thinking get the best of you, or complicate a great friendship. I understand that it’s difficult, but really rely on the Lord and His leading. I am praying for you! :)

-Summer

[touplift]

Today during school one of my best friends and I talked about how much we missed one of our other friends who is usually busy with her club and stuff. Then my best friend talked about how she missed her a lot bc she's her talking buddy. And I told her that she could talk to me if she needed any help or advice or anything and she replied with "Yeah, but you're just funny. Not compassionate." I felt horrible afterwards because I do try and cheer my friends up the best that I can.

Hey there, friend! 

Don't let that comment get you down. That is hard to hear and can shock you. But don't dwell on those words. Think about how you can cheer people up with your humor! That's a gift from God. We all have different gifts when it comes to relationships with one another. There are some who are good at just lending an ear and there are some who always seem to be spot on with advice. Although those two friends are needed, the friend who encourages with humor and laughter is just as needed as the others.

Be encouraged! Let your joy and humor be used by the Lord and to reach your friends in their times of need. You have a great gift. :)

-Summer