After years and years of not being on this site I looked at all my old posts. A lot has changed. I still have depression that will never go away, but instead of being sad I’m just numb. I found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm a recovering alcoholic that still struggles weather to drink or not everyday. The hurt that I had when I was 18 when I used to write blogs all the time has dissipated. I was in an abusive relationship that honestly shaped me to who I am today. I barely wear makeup because I just don’t care. I work at a resort as a Front Desk Supervisor and somedays I am so strong as angry Guests scream at me in the face. I sometimes wonder how does this not bother me. Realizing I went through someone screaming at me not only when I was a child from my moms abusive boyfriend but also by my ex boyfriend I was with for 4 years. Guests just seem super funny to me. There are the days though that it hits me to the core and I can’t stop crying. These are also the days that I haven’t cried in months that I just break down. I feel like when I get into these moods that people look down on me but its not like I can help it. Maybe I should start blogging again but does anyone really even read these things?
