hey chat! ik im lowkey dead here and idk if anyone cares but for anyone who does care
im doing ok! in fact, im doing better than i had been for a while! i feel happier! i got my ac installed (weather is being A Bitch) and i found my binder again! ive been making more things (including a book!!) also sunshine is helping, but geeze sun maybe like turndowntheheatprettyplease
but yeah. ya girl's doin good. listening to the same old music (but ofc theres some 'new' music in there) (as in i listened to it as a kid in the car) and bothering friends about the same old things, etc
the chances ill post here more are really slim, so it is very likely it'll be a while before yall hear from me again, but i might share some art or things ive made :]
My favourite thing about tumblr is you'll see fanart for games youre playing and have absolutely none of it make actual sense to you in terms of the source game. Half the time you end up sending it to the friend(s) who know more than you do going "this probably makes sense to you". Like on a base level i can tell this character and this character interract, but ive got no clue whats canon and whats fanon of the interaction
hello my dear friends. i just wanted to give y'all some morsels that may or may not be helpful or fulfilling in anyway, but i have been kind of in an extended writing rut. i think (hope) that i am turning a corner, though! so i just wanted to provide some reassurance and/or (heh) some treats for any of my very, very patient readers out there. so, without further ado, here are some treats.
also, keep your eyes peeled for some little one-shots/drabbles coming to an ao3 feed near you over the next few days/weeks!
more under the cut!
from chapter 2 of Path of Totality:
“How are you feeling?” he asks her, tilting her chin up to look at her. His pupils are blown, his eyes dark and dulcet and lovely as he looks her over. “I feel weird.”
“Weird?” Jyn questions, a bit scared by that description because she feels fucking divine. The sea wind shivers like a silken robe over her shoulders.
“Weird, but good,” he’s quick to clarify, smiling.
“Weird but good,” she repeats with a silly grin, heartened. “Yeah… yeah, me too… a bit.”
Cassian’s entire demeanor seems to shift. His limbs loosen and his face brightens and he bends his head closer to her ear, whispers in a gentle warning: “this is just the beginning.”
His voice solidifies into a heated caress over her neck and she bites back a curse in the wake of it. His words sink slow but real into her fogged over brain. She already feels so strange… and they haven’t even peaked yet. She circles her palms over his biceps, tightens her grip. Cassian folds his own hands over her elbows. She feels anxious, nervous, but in a sweet, excited way. She had been staring down a dark and overgrown trail, obscured and dangerous, lain with traps and tripwires. Now, the path has been cleared and Cassian is there to walk beside her.
“‘M here,” he says into the cap of her shoulder, as if he’d been reading her thoughts and it’s a brand as much as it’s a promise.
(there is currently 10k+ words of voice kink and sexual tension and fEeLiNgS. just need to write the nasty and i can finally send it off!)
from chapter 2 of Aphelion:
Kassa… no, Cassian— picks up another fuel rod, dips it carefully into the simmering oil bath with thickly gloved hands.
Clem nods in approval, punches him lightly on the arm. “That’s good, son. Good money for good work.”
Cassian pinches his brows together, lifts the rod from the black, boiling depths. The oil falls away. The metal gleams. He sees the reflection of one, dark eye blink back at him. He thinks of the ship crumpled in the jungles of his home. He thinks of his sister.
He thinks of Clem, his new father. Of Maarva, his new mother who had saved him, he thinks. Who had taken him from everything he had ever known. His stomach twists.
”Why did Maarva take me?”
Clem shakes his head once, distracted with his tome of a ledger. ”She loves you.”
”She didn’t know me.” She still doesn’t._
Clem pauses in his scribbling, comes to stand next to him and kneels down, places a large, warm hand on his shoulder. ”You just know, sometimes.”
”Did you?” Cassian asks and he doesn’t like how childish he sounds. He is a child, he knows that, but he never much feels like one. “When you met Maarva?”
Clem frowns, nods affirmatively. “Aye, I guess I did.”
”On Kenari we called that de’shelay,”_ he says smartly, placing the now cleaned and dried fuel rod on the rack next to him._
“Ah… here we call that ‘soulmates’.”
”’Soulmates’,” Cassian repeats, rolling the word on his tongue. It has been difficult learning this strange new language, but he likes the sound of it. Likes the way it leaves his mouth. There’s a weight to it. It is big and abiding. “That sounds nice.”
”Aye, son,” Clem says, straightening to stand with a groan. “It is… but it is also a difficult thing.”
Cassian frowns. “Why?”
”It is a great responsibility,” Clem tells him gravely, “being entrusted with one’s soul.” He points at him, eyes sage and serious, the same way he was in the habit of doing when he wanted something to stick. “It is a great privilege. Remember that.”
Cassian blinks, letting this enormous thought sink in. “How do you know?” he asks, suddenly urgent. Maybe the pretty girl down the road— Bix— is his soulmate and he hadn’t been taking proper care this entire time. “How do you know when you meet your soulmate?”
“Oh, well that’s simple, son,” Clem tells him with a little chuckle that tells Cassian it was not simple. Not simple at all. “You just do.”
(this is the entire opening flashback scene. i wanted to pull from the other scene i have written, but i also don't want to spoil a cool surprise, so, here we are. i probably have another 5-7k words to write for this one)
from chapter 5 of 12 Days on Yavin, Wyoming:
Jyn is a live wire against him, trapped between his body and the door. Her hands blaze over his skin like coals as she tugs him ever closer. He swallows her moan as he presses his leg between her own, hitches her up on his bent knee with his hands braced on her hips. He delves his fingers under the hem of her shirt, groans at how soft and heated her skin is beneath his hands, how her muscles jump at his touch.
He has to tear himself away, has to catch his breath and gather what little of his wits are left— because Jyn has started, ever so slightly, to rut against his thigh and it’s driving him a bit wild.
And because he’s fairly certain he’s bleeding on her floor.
“Shit,” he mutters, stepping back from her.
“What?” Jyn snaps, perturbed, blinking as if being released from a spell. “Cassian?”
She’s seems a bit panicked, a bit worried, as if she is the cause of his distress. He shakes his head quickly, lifts his right hand, where his knuckles have opened up. He hisses in pain as he flexes his fingers and a warm stream of blood rolls over the top of his palm.
“Oh, no, Cassian,” Jyn murmurs in sympathy, even while she seems to sigh and sag in relief.
“I’m sorry,” he says, checking for stains on her shirt and on the rug beneath his feet. And, yeah, there’s a few spots of red against the green. “I can replace the rug.”
Jyn rolls her eyes, takes him by the arm to lead him toward the bedroom. “Don’t worry about it… let’s get you cleaned up.”
Cassian tries a little too hard to not fixate on the bed as Jyn drags him into the adjoining bathroom. She flips down the toilet seat and urges him to sit on top of it before rummaging in the medicine cabinet. First Aid kit retrieved, she sits down next to him on the edge of the bath tub.
“This’ll sting,” she warns before popping open a bottle of isopropyl and pouring a healthy amount over his hand. He hisses in pain and Jyn hands him a clean cloth. “Press,” she instructs and he does.
He watches as she unwinds a spool of gauze, cuts a strip of bandage with a pair of tiny, sharp scissors. “Well prepared,” he observes.
She gives him an inscrutable look. “I’ve had to learn to be prepared.”
The emotion stinging in his throat isn’t sympathy… but it’s not far from it. He knows what that feels like— to have to take care of yourself. How many times has she had to dress her own wounds?
His heart clenches hard under his ribs.
(this chapter haunts me. it's essentially done. but for some reason i hate it. i'm not sure why. there's a part of me that thinks it's because i've sat on it too long. i've poked at it too much. that whole 'if you stare at yourself in the mirror long enough you start looking like a monster' thing. but there's another part of me that's like 'lmao i have to rewrite this whole 12k+ chapter from jyn's pov and nothing else will fix it'. because i am INSANE.)
from chapter 2 of Sometimes the Wolf:
“Where’s the serum?” Cassian shouts in desperation once the truck evens out. “We need it. Jyn—“
“Here!” Cinta cries from the corner of the truck bed, braced against the jumps and jostles of the rutted track they’re following. She kicks a heavy tac box toward him. “Figured you might need it.”
Cassian almost feels like fainting in relief. He wraps his fingers around the tiny wrists of the strange little girl, pries her arms from around his neck and shifts her into his lap. “Hey, hey,” he shushes. She’s shaking like a leaf. The girl whimpers, looks at him through the whipping rain with a trembling lip. “I need to help Jyn. I need you to let go for a bit so I can do that.”
She nods, but does not move. “Brasso…” Cassian pleads. The big man nods, leans forward from his seat on wheel well and grabs up the girl. She shrieks in protest, but Cassian can’t spare another thought for her right now.
Jyn lays half upright against the opposite wheel well, still panting. Her own charge seems to have passed out on her chest— from sheer exhaustion or from shock he can’t say, but it doesn’t matter. He can work around her.
“Cass…” she hisses at him almost in warning as he drags himself toward her. He snaps open the thick plastic hatch of the tac box. “It’s too late—“
“Are you feeling feverish?” he asks, plucking the precious vial from the foam encasing it and shaking it.
“No, but… Cassian it could just be the rain… or shock. Too much time has passed—“
“The virus works different on everyone. Thirty minutes is just a rule of thumb—“
“Cassian, if you do this and I turn anyway, it will be a waste. Wasted when it could be used for someone else.” He pulls the cap off the syringe with his teeth. Pierces the vial and begins to draw. “Draven will flay you alive!” she continues, growing a bit desperate, perhaps.
He flicks air from the needle. “You think I give a shit about that?” He pulls up the sleeve of her jacket, smooths the rain and blood from the bite. It’s black and putrid and hot to the touch. He feels himself reel, but he takes a breath, looks up at her with the best grin he can muster. “Are we married or not?”
Cassian waits for a relatively smooth stretch of road as Jyn lets out a harsh breath of frustration. “I can’t fucking believe your making jokes right—“ Jyn halts in her griping with a hiss of pain as the needle goes in. She always did hate needles.
Cassian depresses the syringe, pulls the needle free, tosses it back into the box. He grips her face between his hands and brings their brows together. “You’re going to make it,” he swears to her. “You’re going to make it, or I’m going with you.”
(not much to say about this one. hoping to update it on the one year anniversary lmao.)
Current mood: wanting to talk to a friend about something, but the subject is kind of embarrassing and pitiful so you sit around crying and trying to console yourself about it instead.
Hi Beacons/ residents of Queen Ruby’s realm (the two are essentially synonymous though):
So now that Fatimah has exposed herself..... the fanclub is currently run by myself, Aimée/Frost ( @arqueritefrost) and Fatimah ( @ayano-in-the-house)
It’s a pleasure to meet y’all, we’ll try and put up actual content (appreciation and the like) soon, but in the mean time just know that we love you Ruby and congratulations on reaching 1.5K!!!!
