#frwl diary

[fromrusholmewithlove]

Still shivering and sweating and feeling kinda rough after the heat stroke. I was so glad of the rain yesterday, I don't think I can survive another heatwave

[fromrusholmewithlove]

Had my house broken into two weeks ago while I was asleep. Laptop, wallet and ID all stolen. Lots of work, personal files, photos and memories just gone. Even the memes which had memories attached to them is affacting me

It's the last thing I needed right now

[fromrusholmewithlove]

Recovering from heatstroke, feeling hot and cold and sick and hungry and crying a lot because the planet is dying and I'm powerless to do anything about it

[fromrusholmewithlove]

Since the world is ending I wanted to tell you all you meant a lot to me and seeing your thoughts and feelings on my dash was always the nicest thing

[fromrusholmewithlove]

I am not doing well lol

[fromrusholmewithlove]

I'm surprised I'm still alive after this year, being in a state of near-catatonia all the time helps pass the time I guess

[fromrusholmewithlove]

The depression is absolute and total now. It covers every part of me, every waking moment. I don't remember things and the things I do remember are wrong and don't match what my texts and photos show. I've had this for 20 years but the last 5 years have driven me into the ground; I'm rotting while still breathing, decaying before I'm even dead. I have no hope, no joy, only the knowledge that no matter how bad things are now they can only and will only get exponentially worse.

[fromrusholmewithlove]

Binge watching The X Files and it's genuinely stopping me from jumping off a bridge