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I don't like nights where you can't seem to sleep. Like you could be so tired but the minute you shut out the lights and climb into bed, boom your wide awake and you just can't sleep. It's annoying and I really wish my brain would shut off or that my eyes would ignore the thought of opening. I just can't seem to get my sleep pattern right.
I'm really hoping I'll be able to make some charms :3 I just sort of thought about making them today and I think I will do that. Also make some plushies or something maybe too.. Man I'll be happy when I finally get a job. I can just buy things that I want to make things that will make me be in peace and have fun... Also to make really cool gifts for friends XD anyways whatever.
I never actually realized how much I like thunderstorms, like, there really pretty and cool. I mean the only down side is the loud noise because that just freaks me out ever time but they're pretty :3
those days where everything seems to go down hill. I've actually failed a class but I'm welcoming it with open arms, I've spent so much time afraid of failing and now I've done it.. I felt like I was floating on a cloud after I told my teacher I would not be handing in my last piece of work that would have let me pass because I have spent so much time struggling all to learn nothing. Maybe later down the road I will regret what I have done but maybe this will actually help me. Who knows I'm just taking a guess.
I feel like I'm in a really cuddly mood but there is no one here to cuddle.. Time to drag out all of my stuffed animals I guess.
It's about time I finally started climbing this huge hill called English class. I went from, in grade 9, a 71 to 68 in one year to 30 to 60 last semester to now getting 62. I've how up two marks and I'm actually really happy because instead of continuing to fail I'm getting better and I'm actually starting to do work and figure out things and I'm sort of learning how deal with issues (not really but whatever, there not getting in the way so that's better) but yeah. I'm finally actually doing work and actually working while sitting around at home an stuff, hopefully sticks!!
on tumblr at school :D
I'm actually so scared of my mind because I have no idea where it's going. I can never tell if I'm going to be a huge mess or if I'm going to be ok and it scares me so much.. I get so scared that I don't even want to think. I hate thinking because I feel that if I do I'll make a decision that will hurt everyone around me and that terrifies me, I hate hurting other people's feeling ex specially if I consider them a friend and I just hate wanting to think for myself cause I feel I can't and then I try making decisions and I'm lost and confused and feel like I just can't and I just feel like one huge mess and all I want to do is runaway and hide just disappear and not have to do anything anymore... I don't want to have to clean, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to leave my bed at the same time I dot even want to stay there, there is no 'safe spot' anymore the only comfortable place is asleep, when I don't have to think when I don't have to do anything at all. I just want to sleep forever... I really just feel alone and that's basically all I really want to be too but I want friends I want to be held onto and never let go but I hate it ;-; why can't I just not be me?
