Konata: “You know, I just read that 10% of software engineers do absolutely nothing at their jobs and still get paid.”
Kagami: (raises eyebrow) “Where did you even hear that?”
Konata: (shrugs) “Some article. But think about it, Kagamin. That means for every ten guys in an office, one of them is just sitting there, collecting a paycheck for free.”
Tsukasa: (amazed) “Wow… that’s like, the ultimate dream job.”
Konata: “Right?! Just sitting there, pretending to look busy, maybe clicking around a few tabs… but deep down, you’re just coasting. I need a job like that.”
Kagami: (glaring) “You are what’s wrong with the workforce.”
Konata: (grinning) “No, I am what’s right with the workforce. Minimal effort, maximum efficiency. Work smart, not hard.”
Miyuki: (adjusting glasses) “I believe the statistic likely refers to engineers who find themselves in environments with unclear responsibilities, mismanaged projects, or inefficient oversight. It’s not necessarily that they want to do nothing.”
Konata: “Oh, I’d want to do nothing.”
Kagami: “That’s not a flex, Konata. You don't even know how to code.”
Konata: “Exactly! Look, I’m just saying… if there’s a way to get paid six figures for doing literally nothing, and some people are already doing it, why shouldn’t I?”
Kagami: (crosses arms) “Because it’s fraud?”
Konata: “No, fraud is when you lie to get paid. This is just…optimizing the job meta.”
Tsukasa: (innocently) “But wouldn’t it be kinda boring? Just sitting there all day?”
Konata: “Nah. I’d bring a Steam Deck, and snacks.”
Kagami: (facepalms) “You are actually the worst.”
Miyuki: “It’s true that many large corporations have layers of redundancy, which can lead to some employees being… underutilized. But I imagine the uncertainty of keeping such a position could be stressful.”
Konata: “Nah, if you get fired, you just go find another do-nothing job. There’s gotta be tons of them.”
Kagami: “There aren’t.”
Konata: “And yet, 10% of software engineers exist in this blessed state of pure financial enlightenment.”
Kagami: “It’s probably just one guy in every office, and he’s constantly panicking that someone will notice he’s doing nothing.”
Tsukasa: “Wait… does that mean if I worked there, I could be the one doing nothing?”