think i'll spend five more years or so in the rat race but folx let me tell you -- i am tired
i am tired and twenty-nine and i refuse to see myself doing this forever bc as it stands, even tho things are getting a little more inclusive, the work ethics and expectations are borderline abusive in most cases and ppl still aren't being valued as humans and are still as a baseline a means of productions. and when people aren't valued, it shows. no matter how 'on brand' you're trying to be or how cool you think you are. you gotta take care of people and respect them and their worth outside of baseline production and economic gain.
but since it's not there yet -- not even close for most industries -- i think i'll make a life for myself. i don't know if i believe in that manifestation mindset fully but i do believe in myself and my passions and drive. i can do a lot and want to accomplish a lot still. it just looks more like environmental stewardship and habitat restoration and education and diversity + inclusion (like authentically and not corporately). i want to help the earth and i think i could make a little bit of a living doing that. nothing like a corporate salary, but enough to get by. and i think i'm ready for that to be enough.
well -- at least in five years time. i have an end date, that gives me hope. that gives me time to plan. that reminds me everything is temporary, including this. but i am driven and excited and will do the best and most i can on a healthy level here and now and hopefully make a positive impact on my community and role and break through a bit of that thick glass ceiling (bc that's still very important to me and probably/hopefully to generations to come).
but oh how i will look forward to the day when i can wake up early to feed the ducks and sheep and water the garden, or tend to the farm. it's bound to be hard work with little financial compensation, but it is in my best hopes that it will be far more fulfilling to me as a whole. and hopefully will allow me to share that love and happiness with others, present, future and former generations. i am beginning to wake up and remember what is really important in life. and i think this is it.
