Aug 6, 2019
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#and im so#fuxkign#sTUPID ABOUT IT#wont even let you comfort me because my testy ass just gets irritated#because all youre doing is whining and trying to get me to snap out of it in that stupid voixe you do and i dont want to hear the#stupid voices okay navaz???#just man up and talk to me like a person right now and then maybe I'll calm down but i dont want to be treated like this rn#usually yeah okay i would have broken by now#started giggling and let myself be smothered in the attention we both know i fucking want#but no#not#not this#just fuck you okay navaz#fuck you fuck that program fuck ashlee for her recommendation fuck everyone you're moving in with fuck everyone who helped you find that#place five minutes from campus#fuck everyone who helped pay your deposit and rent because youre struggling rn#fuck EVERYONE#i want to cry and scream and laugh and bury myself into bed and die for a few hours maybe and im being so dramatic rn but i just cant!!!!#help it!!!!#and you know whats worse#whats worse is that in the back of my head im just...#waiting#for it to happen again#like it did last time#the timing was just So Perfect when they came back last time#makes me think its all planned or staged#makes me want it to be that way#so i can blindly follow my script and fall back into their arms and get swallowed up whole by that addictive kind of misery i just-#i dont know what i want
