#gallows talk

[coffinconspiracy]

Animorphs volume 45 punching my heart

[em-zombie]

I am dearly departed to those who loved me. Demon, to those who loathed me. Spectacle, to those who watch me now.  I am a work day for the executioner. An operating cadaver for the medical student. A hole to dig for the groundskeeper. I am a meal for someone. The birds up high, or those that root in the ground, or metaphorically in the passing of coin. I am a reminder, a message in my remains.

“gallows talk” e.m. (Inkstay August 2017 Prompts. Word Prompt #3: root, cadaver, demon)

[coffinconspiracy]

I'm going to recreate Saturn Devouring His Son with every Labubu I encounter in public

[coffinconspiracy]

Thoughts on Animorphs Volume 45

Visser One dying so unceremoniously was really something--DARE I SAY! Genre DEFYING! Which Animorphs is really great at! I had to reread those paragraphs a few times to really let it sink in.

She had her own time to shine in Visser, although I'm coming off of a long hiatus so it's been a while since I read it, but as an audience we've been primed to always expect a major villain to have a final speech before getting snuffed out.

It's this sort of subversion of genres that I really enjoy.

Marco lying to his father that Nora was a controller all along hit especially hard. He was being merciful, sure, but he knows that deep down the main reason he did it was to make it easier for his parents to get back together.

Poor Nora, a prisoner in her own body and now believing that her husband and stepson are dead. I can't help but feel sorry for her. As a kid, a reader probably wouldn't give it any mind because it doesn't matter about her--Marco got both his parents back in the end! So I really appreciate Marco's apprehension there on those final pages, reminding the reader that even though he got what he wanted he doesn't feel good about it. It's only after undergoing a significant amount of trauma that getting what you want never makes you as happy as you imagined.

It really speaks to the quality of these stories that as an adult, I'm reading them for the first time and they only ever feel like kids books during the filler. The continuity heavy volumes always hit in a way that these feel like books about kids, not necessarily for kids, as far as plot and characterization goes.

Next book is an Ax book so I'm looking forward to it--his POVs are always so special, I love the casual loredropes on Andalite culture and his unique outlook on humanity~

[coffinconspiracy]

When the 4chan Dating App Duolicious got leaked me and my friends went through it and I hate it that everyone was ugly and cringe We went through every single profile in my state on a livestream and we just laughed and laughed This one guy had a printed picture of Donald Trump and Astolfo on his wall

We all use 4chan ourselves mind you

[coffinconspiracy]

Thoughts on Animorphs Volume 50

Cassie reaching her breaking point hurts more than I expected it would, especially since I've spent most of the series wishing she would toughen up just a little bit...but she usually ends up being right, I just see things from more of a Rachel perspective (if you think about it, Cassie and Rachel and moirails and so are Jake and Marco--hold on, we are not going down that rabbit hole!)

Cassie has been the heart, the conscience, of the Animorphs and it's painful to see her compromising on her own morals because times are so desperate and I'm not normally too crazy about canon ships so I hadn't even realized that Cassie and Jake were falling apart

Jake is--was--just a kid with natural charisma and a sharp mind who burnt out after finally losing his parents to the Yeerks after all this time, he blames himself, he feels the weight of the responsibility that comes with leadership, and it's more than understandable that at least for a little while he doesn't want it anymore

The last book, after Loren's eyes were healed thanks to the cube, I thought to myself that if there's anyone that the Yeerks haven't infested it's people who are disabled and it feels rewarding that this volume the Animorphs figure that out too and decide to recruit other kids from medical facilities

James being a parallel to David is something I really like--it isn't just the lion morph or the blond hair, it's the fact that character-wise he acts as a total foil to David. David was a spoiled brat, his parents loved him, and all he did was feel sorry for himself when he lost the stability of his life; James was abandoned as a child, but instead of wallowing in self-pity he adapted a protective big brother role for the other kids in the medical wing and acts as a voice for Pedro, who has no voice of his own.

Since most of the recruited new Animorphs don't have their ailments cured by the cube, I'm hoping that after the war at least some of them can acquire human morphs that aren't disabled and even if they don't want to become nothlits they at least have a way to walk as humans.

I'm wondering what the morph is that Pedro will acquire, since we don't see it before the end of this book; I think James should let him acquire himself and then they could pretend to be twins.

I also really like it that these new recruits have an easier time controlling their morphs and it makes a lot of sense as to why. If we go back to volume 1, actually, Tobias seemed to have a much more innate sense of control of his morphs and now that I think back on it even after he got his morphing back we never really saw him have to fight the animal brain all that much? Correct me if I'm wrong? But for Tobias or anyone that's had to go through trauma and severe hardship, there's a boost of mental fortitude compared to the other Animorphs.

As much as I loved Cassie in this book, I don't understand fully why she stopped Jake at the end--Jake could have subdued Tom without killing him?

My thinking was: capture Tom, drag him back to base, starve out the Yeerk and then give him morphing powers.

I guess...Jake wasn't in his right mind, he might have killed Tom because of his compromised state? Cassie says right at the end of the book that she has a feeling that she did the right thing and Cassie has the best intuition on the team, so I will also choose to believe that she did the right thing.

The Yeerk in Tom's head having taken a beating from Visser One, now that he's run away with the cube, isn't going to want to go back to base but also what is this guy thinking? Where is he going to get his Kandrona? I guess he could go back to Visser and make up an excuse, but Visser does nothing to inspire genuine loyalty with how he abuses his subjects.

It would suck to be a Yeerk already, but imagine being forced to work with a boss who at any time could take his anger out on you if you're within reaching distance of that gigantic tail blade. Visser is like the stepdad from hell. No matter what you say or do or how well you perform, how much he abuses you depends entirely on his mood and slip ups are not forgiven. He hates you, you hate him, but your survival depends on him not wanting you dead.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting next volume, but I'm super excited to see how the rest of the series plays out!

[coffinconspiracy]

Thoughts on Animorphs Vol 48

What a fucking trip. Of course the only way David could ever return would be for Crayak to help him and of course Crayak would, just to mentally fuck with Rachel.

How much you enjoy this book entirely depends on how much you like Rachel as a character.

I did some searching for reactions to this volume just to see what the consensus was on whether or not Rachel kills David at the end and I'm surprised by how many people don't seem to like this one or dismiss it as filler fluff.

Rachel facing the consequences for what the Animorphs did to David all this time later is sobering. It's a wake up call to the audience that...yes, David was twisted, but he was still just a kid. A kid who lost his home, his parents, and then he was placed on island and forced to live as a rat. There is a psychopathy that is inherent in all children, up to a point, and I say this as someone who remembers their childhood better than most of their adult life. I remember what it was like to not have so much of a conscience. I remember the thirst for impulsive cruelty, the likes of which I would never fathom now because it's wrong. There were things that I did--not cruel, just random and fucked up--just to do them. I remember what it's like, but I could never place myself back into that state of mind because I fully understand now how and why it's fucked up.

Who is to say that David wouldn't have become less of a psycho when he got older? With a little more experience? David didn't see Elfangor get devoured by Visser Three. He didn't have that initial wake up call to just how real the war was. He didn't have the same experiences as the rest of the team that made them mature faster.

A kid who hasn't gone through half of what the Animorphs already experienced at that point is going to want to use the power for self serving purposes. A kid used to sleeping in a bed--anyone used to sleeping in a bed--isn't going to want to sleep in a barn, they're going to use their power to sneak into a hotel (I would).

I think it's easy to dismiss David as purely evil if you're a kid reading the books, but as an adult, the full scope of how fucked up the situation is from all angles is on full display.

So it's my opinion that Rachel does kill him in the end because she knows it is the right thing.

He is begging for death. Rachel, trapped in rat morph a short while ago, was subject to rotting food being presented to her and she had the real fear of becoming a nothlit so she had just a taste of what David has been living with the last year.

Rachel has accepted that she has to make this sort of call. There's no one else on the team able or willing to. This is her role in the team. She is beauty, she is brawn, she is the executor.

She knows that there's something wrong with her to love the violence so much, but she doesn't want to be evil. She desperately wants to be one of the "good guys". But she understands that someone on the "good guy" team has to be willing to wipe out the other side.

She talked such a big game about killing David, but when she's finally faced with having to do the deed it's too much--the fact that it's a mercy to end his life makes it harder. Deep down, she's a scared little girl who has to ask:

At which point did her love for the action become a cope so that she could weaponize herself?

[coffinconspiracy]

When you're down so bad for the character you contemplate staying up til 2am to watch their new episode when the show they're from is objectively bad writing