#garbage asks

[garbagewhump]

Jaden, Shannon, don't you feel just a tad bad for what you're doing?

Without hesitation, Shannon answered, “Not in the slightest. I’m having fun. Hell, I’m getting paid to have fun. Call it a bonding experience, right, Thommy?” She drew her leg back to kick him and snorted as the lanky man cowered backwards. “Oh, that’ll never get old.”

“Some jokes never die,” Jaden agreed.

“You’re sick,” Dale spat. “Twisted.”

Jaden laughed, short and sharp and far too fast. “Oh, I’m something alright.”

“Deranged,” Summer hissed, yanking and jerking against her restraints, kicking out and catching him in the ankle. “Is there a single goddamn scrap of decency in you? Some fucking worthwhile thing in you? IS THERE?”

His expression twisted into a snarl as he jerked back from the blow. “There isn’t,” he answered, flatly. “We good here?”

[garbagewhump]

Hey Garbage, how did Dale and Maddie first meet? C:

Funny you should ask that because I’d like to know as well. 

No, but, seriously, I have toyed with many, many ideas and believe I have finally come to a satisfactory conclusion.

Maddie and Dale went to the same high-school, but ran in different social circles and never exactly met personally. They went to some of the same parties and a lot of the same events (homecoming, prom, football matches) but they weren’t friends. Just enough to recognize each other’s names and faces.

Now, it’s another story entirely when Dale went to college and Maddie joined the police force. She ended up working for the campus police at the same college Dale attended.

They met when Dale accidentally smashed his dorm window while roughhousing with his roommate, setting off the campus alarm. Their first meeting since highschool, and Dale, stuck in a headlock, had blood going down his arm, sweat dripping down his face, saw her in her uniform and thus started the puppy crush. 

He tried not to be weird about it, but also would stop by the station with an extra coffee. At first he at least tried to be somewhat clever about it, but after the third time he ‘accidentally forgot’ that his friend doesn’t like coffee, he just gave up the ghost and asked her out. She accepted and they dated for six years before getting married. 

[garbagewhump]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! But only if you want to. I just like this one cause it makes me focus on good stuff, not what's going on in the real world.

This took longer than expected, both to think of five things and send it off to ten tumblrs. 

1. My cat. Furry little asshole he is, I still adore him.

2. Horror movies.

3. My friends, both on here and on other sites. @galaxywhump @pepperonyscience especially. You guys have kept me inspired to whump the ever loving tar out of my characters and make light of the bloodshed the whole while. 

4. Getting tipsy and letting my spotify go to random. It’s a hugely mixed bag and it’s fun to listen, plus once I start it’s like “Oh, this song reminds me about that one, let me queue it up.”

5. Memes. I am trash, hence the name.

[garbagewhump]

9, 13, 24 for Jaden

9. What is something that would break them emotionally? Being imprisoned. Getting a life sentence, or being sentenced to death. Basically, you reap what you sow, and he is Not Prepared for the harvest.

13.  What is something that makes them uncomfortable? Not having an easy means to control the situation or to fix it. Get him in front of a by-the-books cop that won’t take bribes, one that’s sufficiently well-connected that even his father can’t bail him out? Boy, would he be sweating bullets.

24. What do they think they’re good at, but aren’t? Jaden thinks he’s good at taking care of pets and captives but, you know, exhibit A is Thom, Dale and Summer. 

[garbagewhump]

12, 16, 24 for Dale

12. What is the fastest way to upset them? Dale drinks his Respect Woman Juice on the daily. Good way to piss him off is to make a disparaging comment. Also, you’re about to see a really really good way to piss him off soon. (Whenever I finish this monster of an update.)

16. What is the most romantic thing someone has done for them? Dale adores his wife, he truly does, but he is usually the one to plan the dinners out, the dates, to make pretty flowers magically appear on the counter, to offer foot rubs and back massages, to buy chocolates and cards just because. And then one day he came home from work and the entire house was set up like a romantic-comedy. There were rose petals on the carpet. Wine on the table. Chocolate covered strawberries and candles everywhere. Delicate perfume filled the air.  And, following the trail into the bedroom, he found their bed not only stripped of their usual chunky comforter and novelty sheets, but covered in satin and silk sheets, rose petals, and, ahem, certain paraphernalia to make the night more enjoyable.  Maddie emerged from the bathroom wearing a delicate, lacy black thing that left nearly nothing to the imagination. What it covered, it did so only begrudgingly.  They weren’t horny twenty-somethings anymore at that point, but that didn’t matter. They made the absolute most out of that night, enjoying every second of each other’s company.    

24.  What do they think they’re good at, but aren’t? He thinks he’s good at poetry. Partially (totally) because Maddie finds it so hilariously bad that she hasn’t told him.  He thinks he’s better at handling technology than he is, so he’ll offer some help with tech only to realize after the easy solutions fail that, oh no, he’s stuck. Then he’ll fiddle around and google for a while before either stumbling upon the solution or admitting it’s beyond him. He will forget this by the next time he offers to help someone.

[garbagewhump]

14, 17, 25 for Thom

14.  What is something that never fails to make them excited? His cat. A chill but still popping party, where if you need to steal away for five minutes you can, but there’s still a press of bodies all around and the delightful intoxicant of human interaction. 

17. Who is their favorite person(s) to spend time with? Despite how he and Beckie ended their relationship, he adored spending time with her. He doesn’t have very many friends left though, and he’s not particularly close to any of his coworkers.

25. What is something they think they’re bad at, but are actually pretty competent at? Oh, shall I go alphabetically? His job. Painting. Cooking. Dealing with children. Being a supportive friend and partner. Listening. Sex.

[garbagewhump]

#please daniel just stop being awful for five minutes#that's all we ask excuse you you can't demand that from the bastard when you're the one writing Jaden and Shannon, who don't seem to be stopping anytime soon >:/

:D

My outline is up to twelve pages, by the way. This is the longest one. And it will be delightful.

I will say, that they stop for five minutes at some point during all this time.

[garbagewhump]

16, 19, 26, 37 for Maddie

16.  What is the most romantic thing someone has done for them? See other answer for details about the fact that Dale adores doting on her just because.  But her favorite moment? No real flashy display or anything, but it occurred early on in their marriage. Her hours got changed for a while so that when she woke up and went to work, Dale was still asleep. One morning, she forgot her thermos of coffee on the kitchen counter. She often complained of the precinct’s coffee and paperwork as tedious as what she did daily needed good caffeine. So Dale dropped off at her work and delivered it to her. She would have been fine without it, but Dale had wanted her to have as pleasant a morning as she could. 

19. How do they feel about public displays of affection? It depends on the company, usually, but she likes when they can hold hands while they walk, or when Dale has his arm around her waist. Not so much kissing in public, maybe at a park under the trees or in the corner of a dimly lit restaurant, but a lot of subtle displays. Sometimes, if his stubble is getting long, she’ll reach out and run her fingers along it and tease him over becoming a lumberjack. She absolutely melts whenever he toys with her hair in public though.

26.  What is something they’re legitimately bad it? Remembering important dates (poor Dale has had to remind her of their anniversary at least half a dozen times). Keeping on a schedule (unless it’s work related). Balancing work and home-life. Yard work, though strangely she is very good with plants and rescues them constantly whenever Dale tries to overwater her plants or move them into or out of the appropriate lighting.  

37. Are there any holidays or celebrations that they go all in for? Christmas. Dear. Lord. Christmas. Around September she starts humming carols. In July she’s tuned in to the Hallmark channel and watching all those predictable, cheesy holiday romance movies. She can quote nearly every cartoon Christmas special by heart, but especially the Garfield one. Every present is meticulously planned for, budgeted and extravagantly wrapped and given to family and friends and coworkers. On Black Friday, she goes Christmas tree shopping with Dale (a real tree, she insists). She decorates her desk with little Santa hats and hides candy canes on the desks of her coworkers. On December 26th, she requests December 24 and 25th off for next year.