is it crazy of me to say that one of the reasons i hate a lot of posts about eddie's sexuality is bc the wording is often really weird.. not even just in how they talk about eddie (although that is also weird as hell), but i recently saw a lot of comments on a bi eddie post about how eddie should be "at the very least demi, if not completely gay." and i think that the people making those comments mean well but the wording choice is so weird bc saying "at least/if not" and "completely" directly implies that some sexualities are more queer than others... "at least demi" as if demisexuals are closer to straightness than bi or gay people... "completely" as if bisexuals are just not committing to one or the other.... the online queer community often talks about queerness as a spectrum but i think viewing that spectrum as straight on one side and gay on the other with a sliding scale of sexualities in between is really weird and almost turns queerness into a competition of who is "gayer", and this can be directly seen in a lot of the queer eddie discourse... idk maybe im deeping it too hard but this turn of phrase always raises some questions for me
i love the idea of eddie being annoyed by realizing he can be into men. like, that's an inconvenience. that's just more opportunities to be a bad partner. a bigger pool of people to perform for on a date. nah. no thank you. maybe he should be celibate. like that priest. yeah, he should focus on joy, non-performative joy. he's going to focus things that bring him true, genuine joy. like spending time with chris, and buck. ...ah shit.
“you are so stupid, ed’s.” steve had said with a love struck smile on his face, pink rosie cheeks under delicate freckles.
“yeah,” eddie hummed, grinning like a mad man at his beautiful boyfriend, “but you love me.”
“i do.” steve replied simply.
“gag.” robin poked her tongue out, sticking her finger over it, “actually about to vomit. stop being happy and gay in front of me, it’s revolting.”
“oh my god, robin!” eddie gasped, a hand pressed over his heart, “are you a… a homophobe?”
she smiled at him, tossing a peice of popcorn at his head, “only because you lovebirds make me one.”
“shut up, bobbie.” steve shook his head, “this is your fault you know.”
“yeah.” eddie agreed, “if you hadn’t ran your big mouth to steve the minute i told you about him, we’d still be hopeless and pining.”
robin sighed dramatically, “the sacrifices i make for you.”
steve laughed, pulling her into a tackle. eddie hopped off the couch, stepping away from the warzone. he walked into the kitchen, found nancy staring off into the distance, knife in hand, repetitively chopping a block of chocolate for their fondue.
“woah.” eddie reached his hands out tentatively, one resting on her wrist, “easy soldier.”
“eddie i can’t do this anymore.” she looked up at him, knife forgotten to the bench.
“do what, wheeler?” he asked, leaning against the counter, genuine concern in his voice.
she looked at him for a moment, eyes wide and staring. eddie felt a little unsure under her gaze, it was dark and daring, and usually, anyone put under it was about to be ripped to shreds.
but then she did something crazy. something eddie had never ever seen her do before.
she started to cry.
“hey-“ he reached his hands out for her, tentatively, not exactly knowing sad-wheeler protocol, “hey, it’s okay… it’s… you're okay.”
“i’m not.” she pulled herself into his arms, crying into his chest, “it’s not okay, eddie.”
eddie swallowed, she didn’t call him eddie ever, always munson or idiot if she was feeling playful, “i’m here for you, nance. you can talk to me if you need.”
she nodded, just holding him a little longer, “i don’t know what to do.”
he pulled back to look in her eyes, a big ringed hand stroking over her perfect curls, “what’s going on?”
“how do you do it?” she asked, silence sat in the room for a moment, “how do you… accept yourself?”
eddie’s eyes widened, “what do you mean?”
“i mean…” she sniffled, “how are you so okay with being gay?”
“oh.” eddie had said, face making about a million different expressions before settling on one, sorrow, “i’m… not. not really.”
she started to cry more.
“no, hey, no. i mean…” eddie shrugged, “here… here everyone is out to get people like me, you know? i’m not comfortable with it, not fully. i’m constantly living in fear of getting curb stomped or something.”
she turned into her hands, leaning over the counter now, “that’s not helping!”
“wh-“ eddie thought for a moment, he was not in anyway prepared for, or good at this stuff, “i’m sorry. i just… i figured you’d… understand that.”
she nodded her head, “i do.” she glanced up at him, “but… you… you're out.”
“to you guys.” eddie chuckled, “and a couple of the kids figured it out, and wayne’s known since i was ten… but, i haven’t… i’m not…”
nancy looked up at him, straightening her back out, “you're with steve.”
eddie nodded, “yeah, that’s… that’s about the only reason i felt so comfortable sharing with you and will and shit… because he- he makes it a little better.”
she licked her lips, taking a moment to breathe, eyes wet and red rimmed, “what do you mean?”
eddie smiled, “cause i love him, you know? it’s just… everything in this world is hard, everything’s out to get me, but steve… you know, he walks into the room and everything just feels a little more… doable. he makes life have more meaning.” he shrugged, “so, whilst being with him is hard, because we can’t go out or hold hands or anything like that… just having him close by and knowing that when we’re behind closed doors he can hold me in his arms, everything is gonna be okay again.”
nancys eyes drooped a little, “i didn’t think love was real.”
eddie offered her a sympathetic smile, “i didn’t either, until i met steve.”
she nodded her head a few times before grabbing his hand, turning his palm up so she could draw shapes on it with her finger. he let her. he’d always sort of had a soft spot for the wheelers. they stayed like that for a little while, whilst nancy processed things.
eddie broke the silence, “is this why you broke up with jon?”
nancy nodded her head, not looking up from his calloused palm.
eddie nodded in response, things started to click, “did you like jon?” silence hummed for a moment, “steve?”
she shook her head, “i don’t think so.”
eddie squinted his eyes, “you don’t think so?”
she looked up, “they were… nice but…”
“penis ain’t your thing, wheels?”
her cheeks turned red.
eddie grinned, chuckling softly, “secrets safe with me, nancy.”
she seemed to relax a little, “i’m sorry, eddie.”
“don’t apologise.” he smiled, pulling her back into a hug, “you know, a couple of months ago i was in this same place.”
“really?”
“well…” eddie hummed, wiggling his head as he held her a little tighter, “i knew i was gay, had for years. just hadn’t told anyone, didn’t know what to do. but i was so into steve and it got stressful because he was like… straight, you know? and so, i went to robin about it because she was a fellow weirdo and really nice, and i thought that if anyone was gonna accept me it was gonna be her.”
“oh.” nancy nodded her head, sinking into his hold, “and it helped?”
“a lot.” eddie chuckled, kissing the top of her head, “your safe with me, kay? m’not gonna tell a soul. not even stevie.”
she squeezed him, “thankyou.”
he let her go, and she went back to chopping chocolate. eddie headed to the fridge to get the fruit to help her prepare the desert. they worked together in silence, and nancy felt a even safer now around her best friend.
**
“that little… outburst…” eddie tipped his head from side to side and nancy punched his arm, “ow! hey! i was kidding.”
“jackass.” she shoved a clean plate into his hands to dry.
eddie smiled, leaning up against the cabinet, “you were feeling like that because..?”
nancy gritted her teeth, looking back over her shoulder to see steve and robin sitting on the floor of the hallway, deep in concentration in their thumb war, “it’s pointless.”
eddie followed her eye line, mouth parting when it clicked, “you like robert?”
nancy looked at him, shoving a clean fork into his hands now too, “shut the fuck up.”
“i didn’t say anything!” eddie laughed, putting the plate and fork away, ready to dry the next dish, “it’s a genuine question.”
nancy sighed, “okay, yes.”
eddie grinned, “you love her?”
nancy glared at him.
“i’ll take that as a yes.” he nodded his head, putting the dishes away, “damn wheeler.”
“mhm.” she nodded, “i hate it.”
“why?” eddie had asked, forgetting that nancy wasn’t in the know about robins sexuality.
“she’s like, totally in love with rob lowe.”
eddie laughed.
“what?” she scoffed, shoving a dripping wet plate into his chest.
“i’m sorry!” eddie laughed, wiping the plate dry, “i’m sorry that’s… where did you hear that?”
“she told me.” nancy muttered.
“when?” eddie shook his head.
“i don’t know, a while ago.” she sighed, “we were just looking through magazines together and i stopped on a page and said he had a nice smile, and then she said ‘oh my god, rob lowe is like, the love of my life!’.”
eddie bit his lip, “okay, that’s not true at all.”
“how would you know?” nancy asked.
because you are, is what eddie wanted to say, but he didn’t want to out her.
“i just do.” eddie nodded, “it’s not so bad, i think.”
“it’s hopeless.” nancy gruffed, “i’ve got all these shitty emotions about finally figuring out i like women and i don’t even have someone to make it a little better like you do.”
“hey, no.” eddie sighed, rubbing his eyes, “that’s not- i shouldn’t have said that, before. it’s not all bad.”
she glared at him.
“it’s not!” he shreiked before taking a moment to compose himself, “look, when you don’t have someone and no one knows about you, that’s when it’s shit. but that’s why i told rob, because i knew having someone that accepts me would make it a little better. your kinda standing in a room of fucking queers, nance, you’ll be fine.”
“i suppose. things are better with me and steve now.”
eddie nodded.
“maybe i can tell him.”
“yeah, exactly.”
“not robin.” she shook her head, “please don’t tell robin.”
“swear on my life.”
**
“steve.” nancy whisper shouted from the bathroom, “steve!”
“wh-“ he rubbed his eyes, backing out of the guest room to head her way, “what?”
“i need to tell you something.”
“are you doing this now?” eddie asked, voice muffled from the toothbrush in his mouth.
nancy nodded.
“i should leave-“
nancy grabbed his shirt, pushing him back into the bathroom behind her, “you are not going anywhere.”
“okay then.” eddie nodded, continuing his tooth brushing.
steve was on edge, “what’s going on?”
nancy gritted her teeth, “eddie said it’s safe to tell you, and you can’t tell robin.”
steve glanced up at eddie, and he shrugged, so he looked back down at nancy, “okay…?”
“i’m gay.”
his eyebrows shot up, “what?”
“that’s… that’s why i thought it was… bullshit.” she cleared her throat, having a hard time keeping eye contact, “i’m sorry.”
steve smiled, reaching out for her shoulder, “it’s okay. i get it… i mean… i like, only like dudes now so.”
“oh.” nancy smiled, a laugh of relief slipping out, “oh god, we’re hopeless.”
“yeah.” steve laughed.
“just, please don’t tell rob.” she shook her head, “i’m about to share a bed with her and i don’t want her freaking out and figuring out i’m into her.”
“your into bobbie?” steve whisper shouted, shock taking over him.
nancy nodded.
“okay.” steve said, “goodnight.”
“okay, goodnight.” nancy smiled.
steve slowly stepped away from the bathroom before bolting for nancys bedroom, flinging the door open rather agressively. robin screached, falling over, pyjama bottoms half way on.
“steve!” she rubbed her head.
“kiss her.” steve grinned.
“wh-“
“steve!” he heard eddie yell, then his footsteps.
“you didn’t hear it from me, but nancys gay for you.”
“wh-“ robin was about to scream before eddie was tackling his boyfriend to the ground, a hand over his mouth, begging him to shut up.
“did you-“ nancy stopped behind eddie in the doorway.
“steve…” eddie hummed, not caring about steve licking his hand, “did you tell her?”
steve didn’t answer. eddie looked over at robin, who was red cheeked and sitting on the floor with her pants half on, staring up at nancy. eddie groaned.
“goddamnit steve! she literally just figured it out!” eddie looked up at nancy, “i should have realised sooner. you can’t tell one of these two a secret without the other finding out.”
nancy slumped against the wall, ready to scream cry and run away.
eddie grinned up at her, “does it help if i tell you that robin is sitting there with her pants half on, freaking out because she’s got this massive lesbian crush on you too?” eddie began to pull steve away from the room.
“what?” nancy asked, staring at him.
“eddie!” robin called out.
“you did it to me.” eddie chuckled, “at least i had the decency to wait a couple of hours!”
nancy turned into the doorway, “your gay?”
“your gay?” robin said back, pants fully on now.
“you like me?” nancy swallowed.
“like…” robin shrugged, visibly riddled with nerves, “yeah, a lot.”
nancy shut the door behind her. steve looked back at eddie, who had finally let him go. he kissed his boyfriend once on the lips.
“you waited that long to stop me on purpose, didn’t you?”
“i promised her i wouldn’t tell anyone.” eddie grinned, “didn’t mean you couldn’t.”
I really don't understand why people want queer Eddie without Buddie. You want Eddie to find a man he loves more than Buck?? You want Buck to be replaced as Chris's guardian??
would actually love so much if marisol was trying to set eddie up with her brother like honestly
the fact that she was at the hardware store to get supplies for her BROTHER and NOT her … and her saying his house “needs a lot of work” … like idk there was just something about it
especially because their actual conversation? nothing flirty. like at all. she just helped him pick out the best glue to use that’s all that happened.
anyway someone please write a fic where right after eddie leaves, and marisol is looking after him as he walks away, she immediately pulls out her phone and messages her brother about it and tries to get him to run into eddie himself and ask him out
Something that has really been bumming me out, is the number of posts where Ramon (and sometimes Helena and even Adriana & Sophia) is depicted as someone spouting visceral homophobia and hatred— without any canonical proof so far—and then tying it to him being Mexican/Latino.
I know maybe the writers didn’t know for absolute sure back in 2x18, when we first met Ramon & Helena, after Shannon’s funeral, that Eddie would be queer; but by 3x15 Eddie Begins, I’m sure they [writers] had an idea of where things would be headed.
When creating a character’s backstory, I think the idea of whether-or-not their father is a massive homophobe, is definitely an important detail. If the creators and writers wanted that for Eddie, I think they would’ve dropped some big hints for us by now.
I’m Latina, I know about machismo culture; Eddie does not show the signs of a closeted queer Latino man who grew up in the environment so many people have been theorizing(?) he grew up in.
Eddie:
loves and respects women (Eddie ‘women are friend-shaped’ Diaz !!!)
continuously tells his son it’s ok to talk about feelings/emotions (both Eddie and Christopher even attend therapy; Eddie is also a big hugger and always initiates hugs/physical contact)
is very independent/does not rely on women to do things for him (I know this is also ties in to military life)
does not start or escalate arguments (he actually tends to apologize or give his classic ‘✋🤚 Eddie Hands’ as a way to de-escalate/avoid conflict)
Does that mean Eddie never acted in any machista way? No, absolutely not! There very-well could’ve been a time where he reflected on his behavior and made a conscious effort to change, and worked hard to unlearn that behavior/mindset (especially after finding out he was going to be a father!) But, realistically speaking, based off of what we’ve seen, I don’t think that’s the case.
We’ll definitely see in the coming episodes, but until it is made canon, I refrain from taking Eddie’s queer repression as a sign that Ramon was aggressively(???) homophobic. I do think for sure, that Ramon made more passive(???) homophobic comments. Which brings in my theory:
I think Ramon could’ve possibly seen (from afar) Eddie and another boy shoulder-bumping & making heart eyes. Whether-on-not, he brought that up with Eddie later on, I’m not sure, but I think that would’ve been Ramon’s “““wake-up call””” that he needs to make it clear(er) to his son that being gay is not an option (especially since Eddie is the only son—and possibly the oldest child.)
I can definitely see Ramon telling Eddie that he needs to “man up,” get married (to a woman) & be the provider for his family, and of course the famous “brush it off, keep moving forward.”
I also think Ramon would’ve kept this all from Helena, because that makes it easier to avoid acknowledging that your son might be gay.
We’ve seen that Helena’s thing is always about keeping the family close together (being around enough that Shannon was “familiar with the tone,” ; Suggesting Eddie & Christopher move in permanently, prior to moving to LA ; Asking Eddie to return to El Paso after Shannon’s funeral)
Sooo, if that’s all true, it’ll be interesting to see Helena’s reaction to Ramon, indirectly, being the reason Eddie distanced himself—and Christopher— from the family (joining the military, moving to LA) though Helena has definitely had her moments lmfao—“Don't drag him down with you, Eddie.”
Eddie has shown signs of someone who experienced childhood emotional abuse, and Ramon & Helena have definitely shown signs of having been emotionally abusive (whether they knew/meant it or not.) But I don’t think the Diaz household was some war-zone-esque level of toxicity and aggression like a lot of people are theorizing it was.
Oof! I don’t know if anyone read this monstrosity of a post, but it feels nice to let it all out 🥹💖
I would really love to hear people’s opinion on this!
