#gettingitoutofmysystem

[jdlopes777-blog]

"A Spiritual Train of Thought From the Bottomless Pits of a Subconscious Mind" (2 versions)   Mar 23, 2016, 4:43 AM

423 is it a beginning or an end i was told “I love you” but it dwellsin subconscious dead ends .Seeking un aware or am i simply just a coping spirit who just runs away from day to day to other levels of thoughts disguising themselves as justified states of mind that eventually give birth to sadness and regret and sense of hope for better things but yet so afar away distant likethe stars that we so relentlessly try to chase for a false sense of entitlement of ownershipnever for us to say its ours but lacking understanding that theres a higher power we will answer to one day for our inability to worship and praise what is truebecause at this moment i feel myself being that one spirit seeking a home where it doesn’t have to rely oncoping mechanism duiguised as appropriate means of channeling the failures and mistakes of the past and is there such a thing as a 10th or 11th chance ? it is 4:34 and i have made a conscientious choice to press on and not give up into the night but fighting to move forward and this time seeking an escape AWAREthat I’m not alone and my demented and sick existence has a purpose that the roads I’ve travel will eventually lead to a place i cannot ever fathom…….it is a beginning after an end by JD Lopes ( ORIGINAL UNEDITED ) by Danny Lopes 

BELOW IS the EDITED version by Charles Dale 

Mar 26, 2016, 3:09 AM to me ( Danny from Charles Dale )

4:23am, is it a beginning or an end. I was told “I love you” but it dwells in my subconscious mind finding no peace.

I’m I seeking awareness, or am I simply just a coping spirit who just runs away from day to day to other levels of thoughts disguising themselves as justified states of mind that eventually give birth to sadness and regret? My sense of hope keeps my mind and my eyes fixed on to stars. As I tell myself “better things are coming”the light from the stars starts to fad with the rising sun. A higher power we will answer my questions one day. For my inability to worship and praise the truth. I feel myself being that of one spirit seeking a home where it doesn’t have to rely on coping mechanism to distinguished appropriate means of channeling the failures and mistakes of the past. Is there such a thing as a 10th or 11th chance? It is 4:43 am now, and I have made a conscientious decision to press on throughout this sad, cold and dark night. I am not alone and my demented and sick existence has a purpose that the roads I’ve travel will eventually lead to a place i cannot ever fathom. Is there another beginning after an end? (Or is the end just a state of mind, that one day leaves all of our bodies in search of a better place?) by Danny Lopes I spent a lot of time editing this, I hope you like it. If you like it I will post it on the blog tomorrow.

[spraggamuffin]

Eye'm all in tonight. A lot of shit coming into perspective as Eye approach my 30th Earthstrong. These next 30 years bout to be VERY different. Bout to put this young bull to rest tonight! Come morning, they'll be a new beast to deal with. Some gon hate it, some gon love but when it comes to these churn, aint NOTHING above it. #GeminiSeason #OneForTheRoad #NoRegrets #GettingItOutOfMySystem #AinNoSleepBih #tonight

[yashibrown]

Some of you are asking me to post more pics.. I'm never on here as it is and should be posting #poems! Not these darn selfers,lol. #gettingitoutofmysystem

[lexalee93]

by LexaLee

Today I took a shower 6,500 kilometers away from home and I realized that I was made of nothing, so I curled up into the corner of the shower stall of my student apartment to look for the advice that Google couldn’t give me in the 21st tile from the bottom right corner. It was a serviceable tile, with no       Genuine Achievements, no       Admirable Goals, no       Workable Prospects, so all it gave me was silence — and a condensed droplet from the steam which slid down,     grew bigger, and slid down,         grew heavier, and slid down. I followed it to where it drained into the grate clogged with matted hair and the remnants of used shampoo and I wondered it if was possible to drown yourself in a centimeter of shower stall water.     (Said Google: Yes, if you were an infant and if you had just         a few centimeters more         of water.) And, having drowned, I wondered if my parents would miss me for myself or miss me as a failed investment of time and money and pride or miss me for what I could have been or miss me for what I used to be.     (Said Google: noun. An insufficiency, a nonperformance                                    A person that proves unsuccessful,         Forbes’ 30 Powerful Quotes on Failure,         13 Steps to Overcome Failure                          — with pictures.) The lack of answer made me hyperventilate. Or so I thought but really it was only all the hot-water steam fogging up the air which made it heavy and harder to breathe, especially in the bottom right corner of my shower stall of my student apartment paid for with my parents’ money. Today I didn’t want to leave the 21st tile at the bottom right corner, but as things go my parents also covered the water bill and the electricity bill and my life, so I never finished getting clean and I got myself out of there, almost all of myself.

[spiritisland]

feeling really lonely and alone.feeling down and cruddy.feeling like a failure and a terrible excuse for a daughter/human.feeling very stupid, pitiful, and gross.feeling like i shouldn't have been created.feeling like i only cause messes.feeling like a mess.feeling unworthy and undeserving of anything and everything.feeling like i need to rid myself of anything and everything.hard to express myself. hard to get the point across. hard to open my mouth and not sound like a fool. a stupid, stupid, stupid, fool. foul and evil. atrocious and rude. so rude and ungrateful. i am not grateful. i'm greedy and mean. greedy and inconsiderate. greedy and disgusting. stupid and disgusting. foul mouthed lardy loser. you're such a joke. pathetic and undeserving. i do deserve the worst kind of pain. i am a shame. i must learn to not open my mouth. i am a terrible, terrible, listener. i never listen well. i need to shut up. i have nothing of value. no one asks. so stop talking. it's so unbecoming. just rambling on...just like you're doing now. stop feeling sorry for yourself. you know it's true, you're not half the person you could or should be. lazy, egotistical, tacky, cheap, fuck. you disgust others. you smell terrible, your teeth are yellow and big, your skin tired and lifeless..same goes for your black and blue baggy eyes. real nice. stay away from others. NO ONE wants you around and if you are around...don't fucking speak..you're not valuable. you're nothing. so just STOP fantasizing like you are because wake the fuck up. scummy twat.

[miiiaabelllaa-blog]

I liked the idea of you, I guess, but you--you're not that great.

yeah.