I started planning out things for the Volunteer!reader fic, and I thought they would make a good headcanon post
so you get to read the way my brain processes things a bit
here's some stuff about the ghouls!
Primo’s ghouls, void guys, shadow ghouls. still elemental though
Maybe it's the easiest type of ghoul to summon., because they were the "first" after not being summoned since the 60s
Not seen very often, but most commonly found actually in the shadows.
Helpers in the greenhouse, really only talk if spoken too
Most gentle compared to the rest of the ghouls
Found out one of them is named chain
We still got alpha and omega/quintessence
Aero, crust, then lake. Thats so cute
they ghouls tend to take on the personalities of their Papa's
Secondo’s ghouls.
I just found a pic of secondo giving the ghoul masks, and ive never seen it before i love it
I think they’re the scariest of all the eras of ghouls
These guys will speak ‘out of turn’ but like only if the need to tell you something or they think you’re doing something wrong
We get one more name for now
Oh my god i never knew of some of these names, but i love them
We got old ghouls plus river now
Holy shit i just remembered special ghoul
He’s just around, not tethered to a papa, just summoned for some reason. Maybe for sister imperator for paperwork n stuff
Thank you Onyx the Fortuitous for giving him the name Phil
Kinda silly guy
likes using the paper shredder the most
Ok Terzo, now getting more names
Alpha, omega, delta, pebble, mist, ivy, ifrit, zephyr/chAir, now aether
My god
So many
More personality coming from these guys, taking after terzo
These guys will talk freely, more comfortable around people compared to the others
Still more mature than copia’s ghouls though
Speaking of copia
We got dew/sodo, rain, cumulus, cirrus, mountain, phantom, swiss, and aurora
They weren’t quite used to him after the change from terzo to copia so suddenly, but they took to him really well, especially when the summoned the two new ghouls
So far they’re the most comfortable around humans n people
Phantom and Aurora got summoned way later, so they still have more animalistic tendencies than the rest, because they’re not as ‘desensitized’ to being around humans
they get along with reader the best, mainly because they're closer in "age" (or whatever the ghoul equivalent of being in their 20s is)
i see the rest of copia's ghouls like in their 30s and 40s because they were part of the other Papa's band
the other ghouls acted more like a hive mind, especially Primo and Secondo's ghouls, but the more time went on, the more individuality they gained.
especially when the newer summoned ones learned from the previous ones.
Pt. 2
yes, like all of them, but platonically for most of them. found family kinda deal
its really short, like 740 words but it'll get longer eventually, i can't be stopped
Walking out of your advising appointment, you couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Apparently you needed some extra credit volunteer work that no one told you about until now, nearly three years into your college career. But unfortunately you can’t even argue with them because you’re an out of state student relying on a scholarship. Walking out of the building and onto the main street you sigh. You were told you can’t volunteer with anything related to your major, so anything theatre related is a no go for some fucking reason. Maybe when you get to your dorm you can look online for any businesses or organizations with volunteer work. Coming up with some basic plan, you pull out your phone to text your roommate, Maya, that you’re on the way back.
The sun was annoyingly warm today, blazing down on your face. Your clothes absorbing the heat from the sun, luckily your dorm was only a short walk away and the trees lining the street offered shade every few seconds. Wind blowing through the leaves makes it all slightly more bearable.
Reaching your building, the air conditioning was a welcome difference from the outside. Recently, whoever managed the building finally decided that it was getting warm enough outside that blasting hot air wasn’t such a good idea anymore. Or maybe they just got it fixed for the 3rd time this month.
Entering the elevator and pressing the button to the 4th floor, you leaned against the back wall, bowing your head in exhaustion. It hadn’t necessarily been a taxing day, but just the buildup of stress over the past few weeks was enough to feel it for a lifetime. At least it was a Friday, meaning you had nowhere to go for the next two days. While hoping for your professor to cancel class on Monday, a ding alerted you to the arrival of your floor. Mustering up your strength to make it just a few more feet, you raised your head with a deep inhale and stepped out.
Opening the door slightly, you peek your head in to check if your roommate was home. As much as you liked your roommate, sometimes her high energy is a bit too much to match all the time. Luckily Maya understands and seems to sense whenever you need some time alone. Walking in you set your backpack down as you feel a buzz in your pocket. Maya texted back
> Staying at Vivian’s tonight <3 Catch up to you after the weekend probably! (Don’t tell the RA’s)
You roll your eyes and smile, shooting back a quick “np” and “stay safe” before pulling your laptop out. Opening your browser, you search for open intern positions and whatever volunteer work you can find.
Nothing catches your eye for quite some time, until one listing piques your interest. At first you thought it was nothing, actually you didn’t even want to give it a second glance after spotting the word “Clergy” in the name. But, the brief description made you pause your scrolling. A church (could you even call it a church?) that worshiped Satan, Ye olde Lucifer Morningstar himself. Your interactions with Christians and the like never really ended well, sure there were some good ones, but that’s never made you extremely friendly with them. Satanists, on the other hand, while you don’t meet many of them face to face, they’re always rather… pleasant.
You weighed your options, nothing else looked good, asking for too much, with more experience for no pay. But “The Clergy” was offering experience, the chance to shadow a few members and just learn. That’s certainly a better deal than you were expecting.
After hesitating for a few minutes, you decide to click the link to their website to at least email them and ask if the position was still available. Messing around with the wording a bit, you eventually land on a good semi-formal paragraph explaining your situation and send it on its way. Deciding that’s good enough for the day, you close your laptop, yawn, and head off to scrounge up some food.
Somewhere within the halls of the Ministry, an email notification bounces off the stone and marble walls. Neatly manicured nails tap against the keyboard and mouse, finding a new email in the inbox. She smiles, replying with a meeting time for tomorrow and a “Welcome to The Clergy” before signing off for the night.
SUMMARY: myths have always circulated the ministry but copia only really believes in one about a witch
Warning: talk of death and dying copia being lowkey a hopeless romantic,
(Before I disappeared off the face of the earth, I really wanted to write some sort of eternal lovers/rediscovered lovers, and now, hahaha, now I have the chance! does this fit lore? No, i dont think so, but Baba booie, also if this does good, feel free to request past Papa versions of this)
Didn't have the motivation to finish this completely but New ghost song made me wanna post so
Enjoy!~
~~~~~~~
The rumors started with the very first Emtertis who led the clergy and a witch who acompinied him. Of course, it was implied that the reason for his life cycle ending was due to their relationship. He fell in love with the witch, neglecting his duties to the church for her, leading to both their executions. The witch forced to watch her lover die infront of her as she was later burned at the steak. It was speculated that before the witch died she swore to return in the next life to right the wrongs and help and guide the next papa to come. This was known as the night of the witch.
Copia had heard this story more than once through his life. It was one he found particularly amusing, even partaking in the witches ritual every year. He liked to say he didn't believe in it. However, even he knew that every now and then, some heart-felt message would slip through the cracks in the form of a song a song dedicated to one of his brothers' former "dark muse"
It started with Elizabeth inspiring his eldest brother through opus and upon his passing she was over come with grief and passed along side him. No one really knew her, where she came from or when her and Primo got together.
When Secondo rose to power, he met his, he kept their relationship more private it was rumored amongst the ghouls at the time that not only was she Elizabeth back from the dead to be reunited with an emeritus.but Zombie Queen was about her. In the end, they met the same fate as the two before them.
And of course, it was no secret that Terzo was a ladies' man, to say the least. But when he met cirice, things were different. The rumors were still prevalent she was the reincarnate of the last here to help spread the message and inspire terzo. Of course, like Primo. There was no denying it when Cirice was written who it was for. She passed before terzos...unfortunate passing.
There was no denying each woman's feeling for each papa, and no doubt the feeling was returned. In copias mind, it was clear the night of the witch wasn't just a silly myth. It was no coincidence that his three formers would all happen to meet a beautiful woman who helped him through his life cycle.
The myth did end up growing a few years before primos rule. It grew into a holiday of sorts where everyone would come together in the ballroom in a masquerade style party. The night was mainly an excuse to gourge yourself on wine and food and to dance your cares away. For some, it was an excuse to try and make a pass at the current papa. By playing into the myth by claiming they were the witch. The night ended, usually with a senseless ritual said to "raise the dead".
Copia did actually enjoy the festivities for those exact reasons and would offten find hinself wondering if maybe he'd get a muse now that he was Papa, the ministry could be lonely, and he wondered what it was like to have the company of someone else. He wanted to feel what it was like to love someone so much that they inspired music within you, even if it was for a short time before his time passed.
As the night approached, he felt an eerie air surrounding him. He tossed and turned at night, and when he was awake and walking through the ministry, he felt eyes on him
"I've been having these dreams." Copia opened up to sister imperator in the ball room just before their patrons arrived for the festivities She hummed in response as he followed her through the large room, checking over everything, making sure it was adequate. "Of a woman... they feel like memories... I can't quite make her out, but I can feel her presence. I can see...her eyes they're familiar, they know me." Copia said.
"Cardi..your just letting the day get to you." She said, waving his woes off.
"Si, but what if-"
"Cardi, relax it's was just a dream, now let's get ready guests will be arriving soon."
A storm brewed outside lighting stuck lighting up the room as he left to get himself ready.
It was a perfect night to raise the dead.
Guests arrived in varying costumes and masks, arms full of gifts and offerings they would throw into a large pile. Usually, the ghouls would go through it at the end of the night, taking whatever treasures their heart desired.
Lightning stuck outside, and the rain began to pour down hard the people inside laughing carelessly with each other, unaware of the outside world.
All while in the grave yard just outside the earth moved split as a hand pushed through the soil, reaching around aimlessly, attempting to gain its baring to lift the body it was attached to out of the ground.
Your body snapped and cracked into place as you pushed the dirt from off of you and, as you clawed at the growned, pulling yourself up from the damp soil. Your head swelled as you rose to your feet. You couldn't grasp a single, though. Not of who you were or where. Your head was filled with fog and hushed whispering voices chattering about something you couldn't make out. If you could think straight or even at all, you'd assumed you'd been dead for years.
You look up through the gaps in the trees above you at the full moon, peeking out from the storm clouds as the rain came down on your face washing the dirt from your dress and skin.you closed your eyes at the rain hit you Breathing in the night air.
Despite all this, you knew one thing.
You where hunting for something.
Someone.
You couldn't pull who from the tangle mess in your brain, but you knew you'd know for certain when you found them your heart ached for them.Your feet walked with a mind of their own as you seemingly aimlessly wandered out of the graveyard to the ministry that stood tall the tip of it peeking through the trees. It called to you.
Copia found himself bored at the event, his thoughts wondering to his dreams. Even as patrons of the church came to engage in conversation with him, he couldn't focus on it. He was haunted by the dream all night. He nodded thoughtless as a sister of sin confessed something to him that he couldn't focus on when he noticed the lights flickering as new body step into the room.
You found a sense of relief and familiarity wash over you as you stepped into the ministry the ballroom alive and well with church patrons a sight you remembered well as you scanned the room finding a pile of offering laid in a neat pile across the room from where you stood above it a picture of you with a face you hadn't owned in years.
Your eyes scanned the room in awe, white nightgown making you glow in the sea of dark clothed parties goer. Copias eyes locked onto you. You were like a spirit that had wondered in. Your eyes finally landed on him, tilting your head in curiosity at him. He brushed off the girl talking to him, staring at you he felt drawn to you like his feet had a mind of their own.
A couple tried to escape the crowd, cut in front of him as they passed he realized you were gone from the spot where you were in. He spotted you again, ducking between people. Your eyes never seeming to leave his.
You were toying with him in a game of cat and mouse. He found him self giddy with anticipation spinning around the room trying to find you The two of you engaged in your own dance around eachother through the crowd as he tried to reach you only for you to be pulled away unexpectedly He stopped when you seemed to vanish into thin air.
"Do I look like your girlfriend?" You voice startling him from behind. A slight giggle present after he jumped.
"Eh no no...sorry! you just seem so familiar." He said embarrassed as you seemed to circle him his body following you, entranced by you.
"I don't look like a ghost, do I?" You asked, raising an eyebrow with a smirk. "Si..." He said, shaking his head and realizing what he said. "I mean No!"
You laughed a low, cool tone. "Care to dance?" You extended a hand to him. His hand slid into yours without a second thought. Even through his gloves, he could feel how cold your hands were. You pulled him into the crowd of people. He was completely bewitched by you as you led the dance. "Who..are you again?..I feel as if we've met before."
"You don't know yet?" You tilted your head, your hand sliding from his shoulder to the nape of his neck playing with his hair. Your eyes slid up to meet his."After all this is my party." It was the first time he'd gotten a really good look at your eyes.
His eyes widened with realization.
"I've been dreaming of you.I feel like I've known you my whole life."
"In a sense you have, I've known you a very long time,.. I know you very well, copia...I've waited so long to get to you.." You said whispering so only he could hear as you reached up to brush some of his hair away. He felt his heart leap into his throat, and it began to pound loudly it was the only sound he could hear besides your voice.
"Are you really real?" He asked he still couldn't wrap his head around the stories being true and you still seemed like a ghost to him.
You nodded slowly. "I'm here for you, copia." You leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "See, I'm real." His lips tingled. It was like he was like he was floating as you pulled him from the noise filled room into the hall. "We have much to discuss my dear."
Copia: I’m going to have a long, violent shower after this~
Cut to him in his hotel room FaceTiming his s/o and excitedly gushing on about how the show went and how he misses them. They fall asleep while still FaceTiming so neither feels alone.
ALTERNATIVELY
Cut to him getting off to the fantasy of being home and making sweet, tender love with his s/o. Rose petals everywhere, fairy lights given a gauzy effect by the sheer pink materials canopying from above…There’s Barry White playing, and he’s not even into Barry White during sexy time.
Author's Note: So . . . I'm already really bad at these types of things. But I think writing one of these on this type of subject matter is still important. Fanfiction is kind of a very rough place when it comes to acknowledging or writing for sexual disorders. On one hand, I am to assume this is because fanfic, by its very nature, is meant to be like wish fulfillment. Reader inserts are often meant to be the representations of the best versions of ourselves. But . . . I dunno, I feel like that can only go so far when you see representations of all kinds of disorders or issues or even complete non-issues. And yet virtually nothing is ever made with people who have conditions like vaginismus or whatever in mind. I love a good smut but sometimes, reading stuff makes me flinch inward and all I can focus on is the pain I would be in from even a pinky tip trying anything.
I just think it's important to try and remind people that PiV isn't the only way to "get stuff done" and that it should be okay if that's a struggle for you. Some people can work their way out of the condition, and some people never do. And I think it should be okay to write about it because all too often it's easy to forget that or feel like you've lost out on being loved or understood over something that, in the grand scheme, is so silly. And since I have the condition and there's a chance I may never get out of it thanks to my fucked up noggin, I think this should be an opportunity to write about it. Hope I did okay. There might be more to follow . . .
Word Count: 2394
CW: Vaginismus and all the lovely self-loathing it entails, reader has a vagina, references to aspects of BDSM ig, MDNI
In your defense, you didn't think it would go this far. Certainly, one could argue that Secondo was a serious man: He wasn't prone to playing with food that wasn't absolutely his to consume. But you supposed you had forgotten that, or maybe you were just high on the the arrogant assumption that you might be a special case. Or maybe it just slipped your mind to intervene when the teasing glances, subtle and overt flirtations, and little talks between you kept going and going and going until --
Now look where it had gotten you: Sat in the office of the most intimidating Emeritus brother, a packet of documents lying on the desk before you, along with an elaborate green and silver fountain pen.
Secondo preferred to use contracts when it came to his potential bedmates he had a particular eye for. Ones he had an especial intention of keeping closer. Longer.
To many, this was an absolute honor. You knew plenty of siblings that would probably kill to be in your place. And as you sat wordlessly before both Papa and his documents, you contemplated throwing yourself onto those swords.
It would certainly be quicker and less painful than ducking out after coming this far.
You could picture it: St. Andrew's crosses, leather, hot wax searing deliciously into your skin, his sharp voice directing wicked degradation before salving you with praises. All the scrumptious things Papa II had gained a notoriety for indulging. You would gladly eat it all up and beg for seconds and thirds.
But you couldn't stop it there; it had to go further. Nobody just. Stops there. Nobody normal, anyway.
The problem was that you didn't consider yourself normal. Which was what made imagining him getting into position all the more mortifying even if in concept. You could picture yourself trying to convert the anticipation you were meant to feel from one of nerves into one of bliss but it doesn't matter. You try so hard to relax and be in the moment but it's a terrible moment!
You'd heard Secondo was blessed. The idea sat in your stomach while its surroundings shriveled in fear and constricted to an uncomfortable degree. Hell, it wouldn't even matter if he were the opposite of blessed: It would all hurt the same. It would still feel as though a needle were shanking its way into your most intimate parts, piercing onward until it struck your lungs and took the oxygen right out of you. And that would only be the beginning of it.
And just thinking that was enough to make the mask slip.
You prayed to Lucifer that the sound of you wordlessly nudging the papers and pen closer to Secondo would somehow be enough to disguise the whimper paining your throat. Unfortunately, it was not.
Your already throbbing stomach somehow made enough room to swallow your heart when you saw the older man's brow quirk.
"Something the matter, Sorella?" His voice, the one you'd grown to swoon into after all these passing weeks, made you want to flinch now. Fuck. You could feel your resolve slipping through your fingers like sand and creating further mess. You just needed to keep it together --
"N-no," you forced out. You tried not to dwell on how tight your voice sounded or how it even hurt just to utter that. A complete opposite to how smooth and natural it had been when you answered his invitation to his office earlier. You weren't even sure why you hadn't expected this to be the reason for such a request. You were so naive then . . .
You tried to push through the pain, tried add on, "I'm just --" but stopped almost immediately. You had no idea what to continue with. Fuck, you were fucking this up so badly! You seriously began to contemplate just standing up and leaving, but then where would that get you?
You still lived here, in the Abbey. Avoiding a Papa was virtually impossible at the end of the day. There was no way you two could carry on as though nothing had ever happened -- the flirting, the gazes, all that junk . . . Oh, Satanas, would you need to relocate? Uproot the life you'd finally managed to create for yourself here, sent off somewhere else just to hide the humiliation of what you were and what you had or hadn't done?
Satan, why did it feel so hot in here? Was that why the air suddenly feel like it was only oozing into your lungs with difficulty?
Clearly, Secondo did not take the silence well. His lips pressed into a thin line. "If I have insulted you, Sorella, I deeply apologize." No . . . "I thought you were aware of my practices." No!! He reached a large, ringed hand out to pull the items back towards him. And somehow, that was the final straw, the final snap before the dam collapsed.
It was like watching your last chance for something being taken away from you, even of your own accord! In fact, it was exactly that: Something you knew was necessary but it didn't have to be that way but fuck, your body and mind were at odds with each other and making it your problem and --
You hadn't even noticed that you'd turned into a crying, hiccuping mess, much less one that talked. It was only when you could see through your tears an actually surprised-looking Secondo (he was capable of shock?!) that you comprehended just what sort of state you were in.
And if it was enough to make the most emotionally constipated man in the Church look disquieted, then you must've been in a sorry state. The room only felt more hot as the burn of embarrassment enveloped you. You hoped it might even consume you in a full-throttle case of spontaneous human combustion as you struggled to swallow back up everything you'd just done.
"I-I-" you hiccuped wetly. It was so hard to formulate words underneath his gaze, which he never took off of you even as he reached for a box of tissues to offer you. You knew it was one of concern, searching for traces that maybe you needed help he couldn't offer you. But for the state your mind was currently in, it twisted it into one of disgust; like maybe all those affections he might've held for you an hour ago were being replaced with ones where all he saw was a madwoman.
It was almost too much. But it was also too late to go back now, wasn't it?
"I . . . My body doesn't work right," you finally admitted in a croaked murmur. Your eyes flew down to your lap in shame, watching your hands twist and tear at the wet tissues you'd just used. "It's a condition. Like my body clenches up down there at the mere thought of penetration. So . . . So sex is off the table, basically. I'm s-sorry . . ."
God, it sounded all so lame when you said it like that. But what else could you really do? How could you communicate to him the physical and mental pain it all caused you? How could you get across to him the embarrassment that came with pap smears, the shame you felt when recognizing how behind your peers you were? Would he sympathize or pity you if he learned that on a good day, you could get the very tip of a well-lubricated q-tip in and have to consider that a victory?
You weren't able to even formulate such thoughts, let alone predict how he might feel besides, perhaps, disappointment. Maybe even disgust.
Secondo liked the finer things in life, after all: How must he feel, knowing he'd wasted so much time and energy on something that was actually broken the whole time?
"I . . . I'm so sorry." At this, your fidgeting froze, your mind beckoning for you to glance up even the slightest. In doing so, even from such an awkward angle, you could see your Papa's expression remain nearly unchanged from before. It was still worried for you, though now with a touch of something more. "I can't imagine how difficult a spot you must've felt you were in . . . And for that, I apologize."
You gave a wobbly expression born of appreciation but also acknowledging the silliness of the sentiment. You gently huffed at the absurdity, "Don't apologize, you couldn't have known." A soft shrug allowed you to upright your position better. "If anything, I'm the one that should apologize. I should've said something in the beginning . . ."
At this, the older man shrugged back. "Perhaps, but I also can understand how uncomfortable that might've made you feel. Telling someone something so intimate can be difficult. Especially if it is like . . . Well." He gestured between the both of you.
You gave the smallest of chuckles (albeit, out of a desperate need to tenderize the mood) as you twisted the shredded pieces of napkin in your lap once more. Yet again, your eyes diverted from their connection with his. "Yeah, well, at least you would've known whether or not to waste time on me."
At that, the mood seemed to slightly change. You didn't feel threatened, but you knew that the breed of seriousness had shifted somewhat. Almost reprimanding. The eyes of Papa Emeritus II were just as intimidating out of the papal paints as they were in them, it seemed.
"I can assure you, Sorella," his normal nature of calmness returned, all traces of hesitancy from moments ago completely evaporated. "I don't see any of the time or what we've done together as a waste. If you have had any partners in the past that might've felt the opposite, then I sympathize greatly with you. But I also know that means you have no experience with anyone worth your time. That is, perhaps, the most disappointing thing of all here."
Damn. What do you even say to something like that? What could you say to something like that? Under normal circumstances, you might've argued in unfortunate defense of past failed connections, pinning the blame on you. After all, that's what made the most sense. or at least, it had. Until now, with the metaphorical mirror being propped up before you by one insistent Papa.
The room fell into silence as you searched for a response -- if you even needed to make one.
"Do you still want me?"
You almost jolted. You hadn't been expecting that to be what broke the silence.
"I . . . Well, yes. Of course I do, Papa." And you did. But . . . "But I don't know if --"
"I didn't ask for specifics, piccolina. I asked you: Do you still want to be with me?"
You struggled with a punctuated inhale. "Yes."
He hummed single low note before taking back the documents and pen. You watched curiously (and perplexedly) as he began to scribble and draw lines at seemingly random places. After what had felt like an eternity, he finally slid the packet back to you.
"Take a look. It's the roughest of drafts, of course, but we can properly revitalize it as needed. If you wish to make further retractions or additions, I give you the freedom to apply them."
Your brow furrowed as you picked up the papers for inspection. Of course, your eyes were immediately drawn to the instances of green ink that now freckled the paragraphs but you took especial time dialing it back and reading in full what these adjustments were meant to even mean.
Acts concerning penetration had been removed or adjusted as necessary, acts concerning outercourse or fondling had been either emphasized or added and asterisked.
"But . . . But Papa, I can't ask you to take away from your own pleasure," you objected. It was bad enough you'd strung him along, even if he argued that you hadn't. This was still quite a lot to grapple with in under ten minutes.
At this, Secondo cracked the first hint of amusement he'd had this entire session. He smirked as he reclined back in his hair. "And what, pray tell, makes you think I wouldn't derive pleasure from doing any of these things, piccolina?"
Porn, smut, the stories kiss-and-tell Siblings would often share in the cafeteria or in the hallways or the quad. Reddit posts.
"Well, I mean," you tried to argue. "They were there for a reason, weren't they? You enjoy those things." You ignored how the smirk on his face only seemed to grow. Hm. Maybe your words didn't have as much umph to them as you'd thought? Still, you continued. "A-and besides: I can't imagine you'd get off as easily from --" You glanced down at a word he'd scribbled in. " -- thigh jobs."
The low chuckle that rumbled from his chest settled your failure of a one-sided debated.
"Oh, Sorellina: You have much to learn about my proclivities," he sighed. "I understand that what the others might talk about may paint a certain picture of me. But I can assure you, any lover worth his salt should know that just shoving their dick into something is far from the end all, be all."
"And besides." The chair squeaked as he leaned in, hands folded on the dark wood of the desk. "It takes a true lover to relish in pleasure's many forms. I am more than happy to show you this, if you will let me."
It didn't matter that you had heard him say and gesture far cruder things: Just the words coming from his lips -- lips you had craved the taste of ever since your first sampling mere days ago -- coupled with the sincerity of his unbreaking eye contact. Your face was once again awash with a heat, a pleasant one born from blush.
You wanted to let him. You'd let him do whatever he could with you. You just needed to . . . let him.
Your body made picking up the pen feel weightier than it could've possibly been. But in a way, you were used to it: You were used to fighting your body and mind, always losing the battle so that they and their anxieties could be pacified while the other parts of you remained barren. Unsatisfied, with the conviction that it was only your burden to bear.
You didn't want a story to tell or even a milestone to complete so that you could better fit in with your peers: You just wanted to be understood. Or at least, like you wouldn't get left behind, chained by your own body and mind's complications.
As you stared at the green ink that formed your name on the pristine white paper, you felt a tightness in your throat. Never before had you felt so liberated . . .
papa's with S/O who has DID?(dissociative identity disorder)
Please note that this is written by a person who does not have DID. I might be wrong about things. Feel free to correct me in the comments if I got something terribly wrong, I only have basic knowledge on the subject. - Nosferatu
Papas and Sister Imperator with a darling who has DID
Primo (he/him)
Very much not bothered.
He asks you which flowers each alter likes and makes them all a nice bouquets as he introduces himself to each of them.
He's very kind to them. And very cruel to anyone who makes you feel threatened. Let's not forget this man used to piss on his ghouls. (I am never letting that go)
He gifts you and your alters books on subjects they enjoy.
He doesn't push to become their friend, he lets it happen gradually.
He makes you feel very safe about everything. He's especially good to the Little Ones in your system. They call him grandpa. He teases you about it.
Secondo (he/him)
He's had a chance to read about it some time ago, so he has an idea of what he's dealing with here.
He asks you a few questions to understand better and that's roughly it.
He'll try to get to know all of your alters at least to the point of being civil and relatively friendly with them.
Obviously, he loves you the most, but he also arranges to hang out with your other alters, doing things they enjoy.
Very chill about the whole thing. He will, however, change up his entire schedule depending on which alter is fronting. It can be a bit intense, but it doesn't matter, he wants you and your alters happy.
Terzo (he/they)
He makes you a set of pins for each alter, including their name, age (if it's known) and pronouns.
They also play a game of Guess Who? whenever they notice you switching.
Basically, Terzo asks you questions to figure out who's fronting at the moment. It's weirdly adorable.
He's equally excited to see each of your alters, although obviously you are, and forever will be, his favorite.
Tries to get into the hobbies of each alter so they can have fun with them all.
He's very sweet about it all!
Copia (he/him)
A bit awkward at first. He's not sure what to do or how to approach you sometimes, he doesn't want to greet you in a way that another fronting alter might consider offensive.
He's walking on eggshells around you for a while, until he gets to know your alters a bit better. Well enough not to freak out when he meets a new one.
He's still cautious, of course. He tries to win their sympathy with gifts.
He's very respectful, but for the love of Satan, he's stupid and he freaks out way too easily. You need to reassure him a lot, though, even if it's over something trivial he did that he thinks might offend one of your alters. He cares about you so much and he ends up stressing the fuck out.
Papa Nihil (he/him; applies to both young and old)
Don't take this in the wrong way, but he is very confused and weirded out when you first bring it up.
It's just the initial "I don't understand it, I don't like it" reaction that he has to many things, give him a few minutes to organize things in his head.
Once he sorta does, he will ask a lot of questions. Some of them stupid, some slightly insensitive, but that's purely because he wants to understands as best as possible, since he's rather clueless about DID. Just explain to him how some of the things he said aren't really all that good and he'll never mention those again.
It takes some explaining and patience, but he does his best to be as understanding and nice to your alters as possible.
He'll eventually become good friends with them all, but he'll always like you the most.
Sister Imperator (she/her; applies to both young and old)
The amount of reasearch that this woman does is scary.
She needs to know everything. She will know everything.
By the end of her research, she will know better than many specialists, honestly.
She won't ask about the root of your trauma and will remain extremely respectful, conversing politely with each of your alters, trying to have a positive relationship with them all.
Day 28 of Kinktober: Corruption - Father Jim DeFroque x Reader
CW: nsfw. 18+ content. gn!reader. reader's genitals unspecified. no pronouns used for reader. he/him pronouns used for father jim defroque. dom/sub dynamic. corruption kink. no dialogue bc i'm too tired to think about speech patterns. slight priest kink. usage of a cock ring. usage of handcuffs. usage of a collar. oral sex (male receiving). i don't even take these seriously anymore. it's about as short as terzo and i am unhappy with it but it's a stain on my drafts and i want it gone. i went on some philosophical tangent about cheesecake for some reason.
Oh, he adored you.
Meeting you was probably one of the best things that came out of his nightly outings. You were one of the many he met at parties in drug-filled expensive clubs with music so loud one could not hear their own thoughts. Or maybe Jim was so drug-filled and wasted that he couldn't hear his own thoughts and simply chose to blame it on the music. Who knows? Not like it mattered.
Not when you had him cuffed to the bed in whatever cheap motel you two went for whenever you decided to hook up. Not when you put the pretty collar on him, making it so deliciously tight.
And especially not when your hot mouth and wet tongue teased his cock so sinfully, only to move back and slip a pretty cock ring onto him, only offering occasional teasing with your fingertips as you straddled his thighs and leaned in close, whispering in his ear.
Or maybe you were saying something else. He was usually too wasted to remember. You might as well be telling him a recipe for a cheesecake and he'd still be just as aroused and fucked out. Which would be understandable if it was a really great cheesecake... Although, could there ever be a cheesecake great enough to rival just how you made him feel?
Speaking to him, whispering to his inner filth, awaking it and then shaming him for how willing he was to give in to his urges. Push and pull, mock and praise. Always keeping him on the edge.
And there was something really beautiful about that.
Okay, I need help. Lately I've been writing quotes all over my room and am missing one quote I really like. Its from Tobias Forge, its a long quote i think he said during a concert. Its about the ups and downs of life and how that, that's just life. I for the life of me can not find this quote and its driving me nuts. I really want to find this thing and write it but can't find it anywhere on the internet. Please someone find it for me or point me in the right direction!!
