When someone is asking for space it does not mean that they want time away from you. It means they want time with themselves. I feel so selfish when I look back at how toxic my relationship became because I was not allowing my boyfriend time to himself to recharge, fill his love tank, release endorphins, meditate and be with friends. I was taking him away from what made him feel alive. And who am I to tell him what makes him feel alive or good about himself. This ultimately led to our downfall and breakup. We were so unhappy but I did not understand why.
Through my research I learned that women need oxytocin, the love endorphin, that makes them feel good and confident. Men have the same thing but this is testosterone. I also learned that when you cry tears release chemicals that others can pick up on causing them to feel empathetic, this is why some people cry when they see others cry and they dont understand why. But women tears specifically release a chemical that reduces testosterone in men. Makes them feel un-masculine. This makes so much sense to me because I couldn't understand why my boyfriend felt aggressive or why I wasn't feeling love from him specifically when i was crying. I prevented my boyfriend at all times from re-filling his love tank and from building testosterone because i was so dependent on him. Being dependent on someone is so so so bad for your relationship. I lost my boyfriend because of this. I did not want to give him space when he asked for it so it caused our break up. I wish i knew then what i know now. I would give him all the space he needed. I let my relationship get toxic and did not realize it was my own fault. I blamed him when it was me who subconsciously did everything.
So my relationship or break up tip to you is :
if he/she wants space give them space
allow them to find what recharges them and encourage them to do that
meditate with your significant other
if you need space explain to them what space is, time to yourself, and that you will return recharged and better than ever.
tap into your subconscious and recognize your needs and meet them yourself
