#break up tips

[box-off]

Top 3 things to do when your gf left you:

Eat like a fucking pig

Work so well everyone around you thinks your a workaholic (It's just a way to distract yourself)

Play any of Papa's games. They are weirdly helpful

[nocontextginalinetti]

Forget your ex with meaningless sex - rhymes because it's true

[antojai]

How To Heal After Losing A Spiritual Partner

Sometimes, we meet people we share such deep connections with...that we bond with them wholeheartedly. This can lead to those moments where you can feel the other persons state from miles away, or you may even develope psychic connections that let that person know you more intamatly than anyone else ever will. A person that fits this bill can bring you to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. The hardest part for anyone...is when this connection can no longer continue romantically. 

It's easy to fall into a pit of depression, and go through the normal cycles of loss & death. Sometimes even after the cycles are done and over with, we can't even say we are fully healed from it. You can google articles on divorce, break-ups, or whatever else you think may help you recover....yet, for many like myself- you never find anything about the deepest of deep connections. So I decided to write about my personal experience, and techniques I have used. I recently got out of a long term relationship myself, and in this light thought it would be a great time to share the techniques I am using to heal. Some are from external sources, and others are from my own meditations. I hope you find serenity sooner with these by your side.

- Master Antojai

1. Take a moment to let things settle down.

Your best friend isn't there anymore, and you need to pick up the personal pace again. It's extremely hard to get back into a new reality, especially if you weren't ready for it. So take your time to let the break-up, and dazed fog floating around you clear up. This helps with moving forward productively as you allow yourself to decompress.

2. Feel, but don't act

Sometimes you'll randomly get the urge to maybe say something unfinished, or maybe you want to work things out. Time is an illusion, but patience is your best friend. Let yourself go through the major parts of loss. Don't say anything until some time has passed. This gives you the ability to analyze the situation, and soundly decide what is best for you.

 3. Don't Stop Moving

It's so hard not to just sleep until you feel better, but you can't stop now. Keep up your creativity, personal interests, and hobbies as these will help you get over the matter sooner. Take up some gym time, read books, or hang out with your friends. Slowing down only makes your healing that much longer. Force yourself, you can do it!

4. Stay Positive

Force yourself to focus on the positives that person brought into your life, and celebrate the experiences you both shared. Many times we focus on the negative most recent facts that just fuel more negativity into your life. Negativity weighs you down, so don't spend time thinking about things of that nature.

5. Let your support system know about your healing

Those closest to you can help you with your healing. Don't keep things bottled up, talk about anything bothering you. Vent, but don't ramble. Let your support system know how hard this is for you, how you want to go about your healing, and how they can help you. Everything is easier in numbers. 

6. Don't lose sleep, redirect yourself

If you are anything like me, high emotions will cause insomnia. The worst thing is waking up at 4AM, and staring at the ceiling letting your emotions eat at you. So get up! Even if it's to stroll the house, use the bathroom, or start early on work - Don't Stop Moving. Fill yourself with positivity, as these kinds of activities will help you heal faster.

7. Write your feelings out on paper instead of resorting to drugs and alcohol.

Get a notebook, and write down all your thoughts. Anything that surfaces! You may make a tree chart, or just freely write - transfer your emotions onto paper. Transferance can be a great tool when applied properly. This helps empty yourself, and also think over the matter more closely. Sometimes we get a even clearer view on the matter once you see it ina new light (literally lol). 

[positivegabby]

Space

When someone is asking for space it does not mean that they want time away from you. It means they want time with themselves. I feel so selfish when I look back at how toxic my relationship became because I was not allowing my boyfriend time to himself to recharge, fill his love tank, release endorphins, meditate and be with friends. I was taking him away from what made him feel alive. And who am I to tell him what makes him feel alive or good about himself. This ultimately led to our downfall and breakup. We were so unhappy but I did not understand why.

Through my research I learned that women need oxytocin, the love endorphin, that makes them feel good and confident. Men have the same thing but this is testosterone. I also learned that when you cry tears release chemicals that others can pick up on causing them to feel empathetic, this is why some people cry when they see others cry and they dont understand why. But women tears specifically release a chemical that reduces testosterone in men. Makes them feel un-masculine. This makes so much sense to me because I couldn't understand why my boyfriend felt aggressive or why I wasn't feeling love from him specifically when i was crying. I prevented my boyfriend at all times from re-filling his love tank and from building testosterone because i was so dependent on him. Being dependent on someone is so so so bad for your relationship. I lost my boyfriend because of this. I did not want to give him space when he asked for it so it caused our break up. I wish i knew then what i know now. I would give him all the space he needed. I let my relationship get toxic and did not realize it was my own fault. I blamed him when it was me who subconsciously did everything. 

So my relationship or break up tip to you is :

if he/she wants space give them space

allow them to find what recharges them and encourage them to do that

meditate with your significant other

if you need space explain to them what space is, time to yourself, and that you will return recharged and better than ever.

tap into your subconscious and recognize your needs and meet them yourself

[datingtipslife]

20 Broken Heart Tattoo Quotes to Save Your Life

Our top twenty broken heart tattoo quotes will change your life forever. You will start loving yourself more after getting one of these heartbroken tattoo quotes.

Want to get a breakup tattoo? Check out this list of top 20 broken heart tattoos which can save your life!

#breakuptattoo

[deborrah-cooper]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSRPHzC-7ms) On Thurday 4/11 for TOXIC RELATIONSHIP THURSDAY! Join us at 6:00 pm PST / 0:00 pm EST. Bring your SHORT advice question and get an answer in real time, right on the air.

[whichwitchami]

My brother got dumped recently and I have no idea what to do to make him feel better. I never had a gf or bf. My parents are trying to help him for now but I'm not sure how is it supposed to go. He's crying his heart out and I feel really bad for him and I'm like so weak cause I try to like not cry too and I fail so bad everytime I hear him. I really don't know what to do

First of all, I’m really sad your brother is going through this. It’s a recent feeling for me so I totally get how devastated he might be. I’m also sure its really hard for you, but you’re not weak for not knowing how to help him. It can be really hard for us to see those we love in pain, especially when its a pain we haven’t felt ourselves. 

As far as things you can do, what’s helpful and appreciated is different per person, but here’s a few things:

1. Be there for him. He might not want physical touch right now, but if he’ll allow you to just sit in the same room with him while he cries, that’s really powerful. If he’ll allow you to touch him, a hand on his shoulder or a hug can be amazing too. He may want space, in which case, just tell him you’ll be there when he’s ready, and he can find you or text you, when he’s ready. I know i personally wanted people around me, even if they weren’t speaking or we weren’t really doing anything. Just having someone there to help keep me out of my thoughts was super helpful for the first few days after my break up. 

**a side note to this: don’t let him be alone for too long. It’s important to give him space, but its also important to make sure he’s not alone with his thoughts too much. Being trapped in our heads and sad thoughts can be really devastating, so check in with him once or twice a day. Don’t smother him, but make sure he’s not isolating himself either. 

2. Bring him things that are good for him. Water is really important when you’re crying all the time, so bring him a glass! It can be another act of showing him that you’re there for him without having to crowd him if he wants space. Just take him a glass of water and some of his favorite fruit or another small snack. Leave it near him and either stay or leave, depending on his preference. 

3. Don’t be afraid to cry with him. You don’t have to be strong for the person you love, nor do you have to believe that crying isn’t strong. Let him know that you care for him and feel for him by letting your emotions show as well. 

4. Listen if he wants to talk. He’s probably processing a lot of thoughts right now. He may need to ramble and talk it out. I did that with my two best friends. Sometimes it was through text (because they’re far away), and sometimes its out loud like with my roommate or my when my besties were here. If he’s anything like me, he’ll ramble on and on and say things that are really dumb but might be comforting to him, and his emotions will change fast enough to give you whiplash. Just listen while this happens. If he asks for advice tread carefully, you may be angry at his ex and want to say really hurtful things, but he might not be ready to hear them. Give your honest opinion the best you can, but also know when to bite your tongue, at least until he’s ready to hear the full reality (this is tough, but its much appreciated. My friends did this for me and let me come to them with the realizations they already knew, and then talked it out with me) 

5. Let him know that whatever he’s doing (shy of something really dumb) is okay. The first 48 hours after my break up were a train wreck. I’d go from sobbing to perfectly fine to angry in a second. My friends were super chill. Was I missing him? That’s perfectly normal. Was I cussing him out a minute later? Still normal. Be really supportive of whatever he’s feeling because everyone processes differently (Disclaimer: like I said above, if he’s doing something really dumb like not eating or other things that I won’t explicitly say cos they could be triggering, then don’t encourage that). Just be present and be supportive. Help him process those feelings. Is he missing his ex, or missing something his ex did? (example, I really miss forehead kisses, and often attribute that to missing my ex who would give me forehead kisses. With gentle guidance from my friends I would be reminded that it was the action I missed, and I will one day find that in someone else). Whatever his answer is okay, just talk through it with him. 

6. If and when he’s ready, help him with things. If he has anything of his ex’s currently in his possession, ask if he wants you to remove them from his room. He might not be ready to get rid of them completely, but he may want them out of sight because they’re a sensitive reminder. Gather them up and store them somewhere safe until he’s ready to do something with them. This could be keep them, or get rid of them. Be willing to help out. Does he want to trash them? Put them in the bin. Does he want to return them but can’t face his ex alone? Offer (If you’re comfortable) to either go with him to give them back, or to take them yourself. Follow his lead on this (and anything else really). This can apply to removing his ex from his social media and deleting pictures off his phone. This may have to be taken in steps, just be willing to help him with it each time he’s ready. 

7. Lastly, give him time, and let him know that taking his time is okay. There’s nothing that dictates how long this takes. He needs to allow himself to feel what he’s feeling, for as long as it takes. Everyone heals from a break up at a different pace, don’t let anyone tell him he’s being too mopey or taking too long and ‘just needs to get over it’. He could take weeks or months to heal. He could seem fine and then suddenly 8 months later hear a song or smell a perfume that reminds him of his ex, and this may lead him to break down. That’s perfectly normal and okay. He will heal in time, you just have to let him ride it out at his own pace, and keep doing everything above to be there and support him. 

This is about all I can think of. Like I said, its different for everyone, but these are some general things you can do to help him. I hope this helps you! Feel free to ask me any other questions (you can message me if you feel comfortable) and I’ll do my best to help. I hope your brother feels better soon.