"Dude, you are so fucked."
"Shut up, Javy," Jake sighs into his phone.
He was out on the porch, the glass of wine from dinner still in his hand. After the rather tense ride home from Sally's ranch and his third shower of the day, which genuinely made Jake worry for Bradley's water bill, dinner had been a much more relaxed affair. They had stood side by side prepping some oven-baked salmon and a salad, laughing and touching and not thinking about how complicated the thing between them could become. But as soon as Bradley stepped out to bring the rest of the salmon over to Nat's parents, who, as Jake learned ten minutes ago, still lived right across the street, the sweetness of his plan to stay longer turned sour. And in a moment of panic and the realization that someone would have to watch Cat for six more days, he instinctively called Javy. Who, to Jake's detriment, seems delighted by his best friend's suffering.
"No man, what do you mean you agreed to stay until Wednesday-" Javy says, before his barking laugh overtakes the speaker.
"It's not a big deal, Javy! Can you take care of Cat for a few more days?"
Jake hears Javy gasp for air on the other end of the line. "Oh, I'm gonna pee myself-" his best friend manages to say between breaths.
"Fuck off, man!"
"No, I love this for you, bud," Javy explains, still laughing. "I'll take care of Catherine for a few more days, no issue. But are you sure your weird therapist talk about expanding your comfort zone didn't just relocate it into the guy's house? Will you be coming home?"
"Jeez…" Jake sighs into the phone.
"Listen, man, I'm happy for you. Nat showed me the pic of you two horn dogs all cuddled up in the grocery store. He's clearly good for you- "
"Horndogs?" Jake asks, sputtering. "Wait, why and how the fuck did Nat show you that?"
"That's irrelevant-"
"Javy."
"She slept over, okay?"
"Finally, man, you've only been begging her for like six months by now, that's a new record for you, man."
"Oh fuck you, Jake. She was so pissed off this morning I was barely able to talk her out of driving up there herself. And I was actually planning to tell you that you seem happier since you and Bradley started talking, but I think I'll just keep that to myself now."
Jake swallows and sighs.
"Yeah maybe…" he eventually says.
"Man, this is good. At least it seems that way."
"I mean yeah, it probably is."
"Isn't it? Is he treating you right?"
"Yeah, yeah, no, he's fucking perfect, man. All day yesterday I wondered if I fucking died in my sleep and went to gay situationship heaven or something." Jake sighs into the phone.
"Bud, I don't think people over twenty-five have situationships anymore."
"They don't?"
"No."
"Fuck, what the fuck am I doing here, Javy?"