#gmdgif

[dramalove247]

Sigh. This is not helping.

[dramalove247]

Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy 😭

Wang Zhen: Why are you standing in the rain? Wu Suowei: I've been sitting here all along, the rain came on its own. Not my fault. Wang Zhen: Then why don't you leave? Wu Suowei: Rain is everywhere, where could I go? My Little Vinegar was taken by your brother.

[dramalove247]

Unpopular opinion? The apology was perfect.

a Dori 🐠 rambles post

Apparently my brain has decided not to move on from Top Form. But with an episode that gave us all of this:

why am I stuck here???

I just can't stop thinking about that scene; what I wanted from it vs what happened vs what Akin needed.

Trigger Warning: SA/rape

Before I go any further, let's make a couple things clear.

Akin has nothing to be ashamed of. He was not responsible for what happened to him. Period. Choosing to become intoxicated does not mean you are responsible if a predator takes advantage of the situation. It is never the victims fault. However, that doesn't mean people in that situation don't blame themselves. I wish Akin had been angry at the right people instead of himself, but Akin's reaction is tragically common and relatable. And as much as it would have been refreshing to see Akin angry, I respect the series for showing us this very toxic and real reaction to what happened to him. This post will be focusing on Akin's feelings and in no way am I implying he should feel this way.

It doesn't matter if it was SA or rape. The violation to one's autonomy doesn't change. No one here is minimizing what Johnny did because he got turned off when Akin said someone else's name and stopped. And I don't think the show was intending to do that either, even if it includes the toxic forgive and forget we commonly see in Thai dramas. But not knowing what has happened to you, if anything, is a trauma all by itself. It's okay for Akin to be relieved to know just how his body was violated, even if it doesn't change that his autonomy was stolen.

I apologize in advance if any of my word choices or attempt at explaining my thoughts causes any discomfort. I'm doing my best to explain what I saw in this story/characters and what they were feeling. If any of my phrasing comes across as insensitive or dismissive, please give me the benefit of the doubt and some room to be human.

On to the main event

I initially felt pretty meh because the apology didn't give me everything I wanted, but I was willing to call it good enough and move on. But I've changed my mind. The more I think about it, the more it feels like the perfect resolution.

🐈 Kat did an excellent job talking about what WE wanted vs what Akin needed in this amazing post. And I agree, Jin gave Akin exactly what he needed in Episode 7.

I know a lot of us had different reactions to episode 7. I'm not here to tell people they are wrong for interpreting things differently from me or for wanting something different from the story. I was angry as hell at Jin for his behavior in episode 6, and although I could understand his pain, I had a lot of things I wanted from episode 7. I was not ready to forgive Jin easily. But as Kat pointed out, Akin wasn't mad at Jin. Akin already felt ashamed and guilty for what happened, Jin didn't cause that. What made things worse for Akin in that garage was seeing Jin in pain. He didn't need Jin to apologize because Akin felt he was the one who was at fault.

Akin didn't need to forgive Jin, he needed to forgive himself, and Jin deserves massive credit for recognizing that.

I do believe Jin felt awful for how he had reacted and for leaving Akin. Initially, Jin's own pain and feelings had made him blind and deaf to Akin's suffering. Even fearing that Akin had cheated, knowing Akin was lying to his face, what Jin desperately wanted was for Akin to give him hope that there was still something to fight for. So when Akin couldn't give him that, Jin fell apart. But just because I can understand Jin, that isn't an excuse for how he added to Akin's pain and I wanted him to take responsibility for every one of Akin's tears in that garage!

But as much as I was angry at him, I honestly don't believe Jin was looking for an apology from Akin in episode 7. I don't believe his tears in that theater were about him hearing Akin say sorry, I think it was his reaction to seeing Akin's pain, not understanding what caused it, but knowing he was part of it. In that moment, Akin's pain became more important than his own and Jin needed to do something about it. Only then does he confront Johnny. I don't know what Jin suspected, but the fact that he recorded the convo is telling. I think he was looking for a way to help Akin, not clarify if they had slept together or not, so he could give Akin the answers he needed and the tools to forgive himself. I don't think it mattered at all to Jin how far things had gone. Once he realized Akin was hurting over what had happened, Jin had the hope he had needed to fight for their relationship.

And then that's what Jin did:

Akin texts Jin to meet. Jin is excited. But Akin came to give back the necklace. Akin: "Sorry. I'm probably not right for it." Jin askes if that's is really why he came and Akin says yes. But there is pain and longing there and Jin sees it and it's the hope he needs. So he kisses Akin and Akin falls apart.

Akin is the first to apologize because he blames himself. But Jin wasn't looking for that and immediately says he is the one that should be apologizing. Not because he was wrong about what had happened with Johnny, but because he knew he had left Akin alone. Jin: "I'm sorry for making you sad. I am sorry for leaving you that day. I'm sorry. You're not wrong." But Akin's shame won't allow him to believe Jin's words that he wasn't wrong. He doesn't believe he deserves Jin's apology or love. And Akin falls more and more apart as Jin continues to apologize and fights to run because it all hurts too much.

Jin is trying to reach Akin. Trying to get him to understand. Jin: "I love you. I'll never let anyone take you away from me." But this is exactly why Akin got out of that car. He knew how Jin felt about him, could see Jin's pain, and Akin couldn't bear being the source of that pain.

Jin can see the way Akin's shame and self blame is tearing him apart, so he reassures Akin that he didn't sleep with Johnny. Not to minimize Akin's SA or imply that somehow everything is okay as long as there wasn't actual sex. It's to reassure Akin that what he feared most, what he couldn't forgive himself for, didn't happen. That Akin has nothing to hate himself for, nothing to regret. (not that he was ever to blame, but that is how Akin felt) And Akin's reaction to this realization is shattering to watch.

Jin tells Akin over and over again that he did nothing wrong and Akin is finally able to hear that and believe that and the healing can start.

And I apparently live there now.

I was absolutely sick about what they did to Akin in episode 6. I have done a lot of mental gymnastics to overlook toxic messaging in series, but this time it had gone too far for me just to be able to ignore it. There was a narrow path that they could walk for me not to rage quit this show and it involved being VERY clear that Akin was not responsible for what had happened to him. And we got that. And even though I didn't get the groveling Jin and angry Akin I wanted, I think what they gave me was better for the story they were telling. I said I needed them to make me respect the story they were telling to forgive them for this story line, and I am relieved to say that they did just that.

They showed just how ugly and traumatizing SA can be. They made it messy and hard to swallow and showed the harm that can be caused when people do and say the wrong things to someone already in a self loathing shame spiral. And then we saw the difference love and support can mean for someone struggling with misdirected self blame. So well done to the script and epic acting in delivering a truly devastating story.

Also, very much appreciated the flash to Akin being drunk and Jin caring for him. Being drunk isn't a crime and I am glad to see that reflected in the inclusion of that clip.

Editing to add that the apology wasn't perfect for me (and I said as much in this post), but I do feel it was perfect for the characters, their relationship and this story.

If you made it to the end of this, welcome to my head. 🤣 Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!

Here's Kat's excellent post if you haven't seen it already:

Post by @dramalove247 · 1 video

💬 6  🔁 31  ❤️ 113 · a Kat 🐈 rambles post I apparently have a lot to say about Top Form, but in respect for the limited time I have, I'm her

[dramalove247]

Favorite Things: Khemjira rewatch - episode 10

Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Why is every episode mean???

TW: suicide

Favorite take away: Hope

This was a fun episode to rewatch knowing that Ramphueng has gotten to Khem and Khem is just going through the motions. Though there is hope in the beginning, soon Khem is just going along with Jet and Charn, all the while, believing there is no point. But he wants to give them this. Khem wants to let them have hope even if it comes at the cost of prolonging his own torment by Ramphueng.

Jet: I've never had a friend in my life, but helping someone, protecting them, and knowing they can count on me... it makes me feel so appreciated.

So Khem smiles for his friends, but Jet and Charn don't know Khem is saying a silent goodbye.

Khem is so tired and scared, wearing a mask in order to bring comfort to everyone around him, all the while waiting for the inevitable. But just when Khem can't bear to hold on any longer, Peem enters his nightmare and bring him hope again.

Khem: Why did you come after me? Please let me go. I've given up. Peem: No, you can't. Khem: I don't want to live anymore. Peem: No Khem. You need to live, for your friends, for your parents, and for me. We must stay together in this life. Trust me, Khem. *the spark of hope* No matter what happens, we will find our way back to each other.

The way a fragile Khem reaches for Peem who gently nods his encouragement... only then does Khem dare to let himself hope enough to give him strength to hold on to what he wants.

Favorite Scenes from episode ten:

It was HARD to narrow down this list! And we pretty much failed.

Favorite creepy element: Possessed Khem is SOOO FUN and well done! But the security camera added a nice touch to the creepy factor!

Favorite eye candy: Naga Peem!

Favorite glimmer of hope: The darkness of Khem's nightmare being chased away by beautiful lights. This scene was visually stunning 😍

Favorite friendship: Every precious scene that showed how much these three mean to each other!

Favorite Goodbye: The lantern scene on the roof was devastating the second watch. We weren't going to do this scene because we already had so many, but we can't stop obsessing over it. It was so visually captivating, the moment of friendship both beautiful and painful at the same time. Every frame was incredible. Jet and Charn's hope. Khem heartbreak while keeping a brave face as he hugs his friends goodbye. *insert ugly crying* The brittle smiles and cracks in his mask that can be explained away as feeling moved by the moment… the acting is beyond excellent!

Favorite things we obsessed over during the rewatch:

Because everything can't be a "favorite" scene... right?

"I even hate myself. I can't bear losing anyone again." 😭

Khem+Jet+Charn friendship is everything

Khem almost impaled by metal and losing hope... Ramphueng is there

Khem lying to his father. Khem's hopelessness showing when he is alone.

Khem happy to see Jet w/Charn, knowing they will have each other when he is gone

The lantern scene 😭

The reveal that Ramphueng had been tormenting Khem since the near accident was such a shock the first watch and loved seeing it all again.

Possessed Khem!

Peem waking from the vision

Naga Peem! Thank you for this gift.

The knife... we knew this was going to come into play in the finale

The villagers coming to show their support and love for Peem

Khem's nightmare, hope

Khem's soft sobs as Peem hold him... Jet and Char running in thinking the worst 🤣

Everyone finding out Ramphueng was with Khem all along... "I didn't want to worry you."

Net's cameo as Kachen! This was such a fun surprise the first time!

[dramalove247]

Tag game: Unforgettable kisses

Started by @mewsthumbring (post) Tagged by @gotmehookedonthekpop (post), @hughungrybear (post), @miss0atae (post), @my-rose-tinted-glasses (post) & @watchthisqqq (post) ❤️ Inviting anyone that wants to play!

Prompt: List 10 of your favorite QL kisses

This took us forever to get to because we were busy and then MIA for a quick girls trip. Trying to play catchup now. We decided to do this one together, so this is a joint list.

Extensively analyzed kiss: The Next Prince There was an entire music analysis post gifted to us by @nabi-unveiled! Still can't stop thinking about the smirk.

Epic anticipation and yearning: Khemjira This scene was just the start.

Unexpectedly spicy! Ballboy Tactics

Needed kiss: My Beautiful Man

Thai BLs hit different: Love In The Air Kat's first Thai BL... flabbers were ghasted. Still haven't recovered.

The jump scare: ThamePo That was one hell of a first kiss... we screamed 🤣

Delicious dopamine sprinkles: Fourever You - Johan x North

Healing kiss: See Your Love

Kiss that made us laugh: Reset Let's be real, we are obsessed with all the kisses in this series.

Moment of queer joy: Heated Rivalry Did you just do a come out at the dinner table on the ice?

BONUS: Kiss we wish we could forget: Theory of Love This kiss crushed us and rudely popped into our heads when thinking about kisses. Also, this post was supposed to be fast, but then we had to make a GIF. Can't imagine why we couldn't find a GIF of this scene no one wants to remember. 🤣 You're welcome.

We are very late to this party and have no idea who has played, so visibility tagging tumblr peeps that might care. @pointlesscandies, @nabi-unveiled, @gayteezsnailboats, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @outofthemouthsof, @kandadze, @thisonelikesaliens, @heretherebedork, @delesaria-blog

[dramalove247]

Revenged Love Game

Some fun to tide us over while we all go through withdrawal this week. This game was initially started by @biochemjess in this post that @nabi-unveiled was kind enough to share in their post. Share your favorite scenes and moments with us! Use any of the categories already created or make your own.

We loved the other two posts for their own perspectives, so we went with our own categories, mostly. This post could have gone on forever, but we stopped ourselves, promise. It could have been much longer!

❤️ If we had to summarize the show in one pic/gif (love this category)

Wu Suo Wei has no idea how much danger he is in and Chi Cheng is a complete pushover for him.

🧡 The moment we lost all hope of being normal about this series

No explanation needed.

💛 The translation that made us give up on Gaga and Viki and subscribe to the official channel

Because that is not what we saw and we needed that shit.

💚 One of our favorite examples of Wu Suo Wei being a walking meme

It's impossible to pick an actual favorite because his expressions are epic.

💙 The final nail in Wu Suo Wei's coffin

His fate was sealed before this moment, but we don't think there was any chance of escape after this point.

💜 The best brat moment

This includes the dramatic pouting before this moment. Hilarious.

❤️ That one time we giggled

Wait... is he? Yes. Yes he is.

🧡 Why it hurts us

Because Chi Cheng thinks he knows what Wu Suo Wei's game is, but he is wrong 😭

💛 Wanted to do one about the sweetest moment, but there are too many to choose from already and our brains started short circuiting trying to choose! This show will be the death of us.

[dramalove247]

Trope Time (BL Edition): Bandages

Why do we love this? Oh right, it's because of the care and consideration, the excuse to touch, and often comes with delicious tension!

Ballboy Tactics

Semantic Error

Secret Relationships

The Ex Morning

Love Sea - Thailand

My Magic Prophecy

Khemjira

Punks Triangle

Thanks for the 😍GIFS!

[dramalove247]

Well that progressed quickly.