#goodfries

[marciaaframe]

Dinner.. . #mcdonalds #canonm50 #canon #goodfries #friday #gamenight #fastfood (at Folkston, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3f8K4VngQa/?igshid=smm36n0f34ic

[moviemarx]

I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude. We’re all dudes, hey! #goodburger #goodburgerpopup #imadudehesadudeshesadudewerealldudes ft. The menu 😂 #goodfries https://www.instagram.com/p/B14y2CagWzdk9Opwalny5v8ILqwQvei5TKnh9E0/?igshid=1g561omc75nt1

[egg-w-leg]

I feel like a criminal

I got three small fries in my Wendy’s even though I payed for (and ordered) two I might actually go back an pay tomorrow because rn I’m actually freaking our, like the universe is gonna back hand my sorry butt because I got three fries someone help im trapped in my own personal hell.

[karrnb]

Favorite place in town. #doolally #fries #dips #foodporn #foodgasm #goodfries (at Doolally Taproom, Andheri)

[karrnb]

Because, #fries. #foodgasm #goodfries #teavilla #paprika #onecanneverhaveenough (at Tea Villa Cafe Thane)

[foreverfeasting-blog1]

Burger Five: The Geoduck

Do we even like burgers?

In the above photo the Geoduck burger actually looks pretty yummy.  It’s not.

We’re going to cut to the chase: the burger at The Geoduck sucked.  We’ve had an especially difficult time writing about it because it hardly seemed worthy of putting pen to paper.  In fact it was so lackluster that mid-burger we began discussing whether or not we even liked hamburgers.  Part of the reason we took on this project was because we believed that a burger was the type of dish we would want to eat even when it wasn’t great.  Even when it was bad.  I mean, McDonalds is a sad representation of the worst parts of American culture, but we’d chow down on a Big Mac no problem for the sake of research.  Or so we thought.

Our inability to chomp forth at the Geoduck made us wonder if we even remembered what a good hamburger tasted like.  Was there ever such a thing?  (Spoiler alert: there was, but we had to follow this thought through).  We realized that our enjoyment of subpar burgers was (not surprisingly) directly tied to the company with whom we ate.  This ties in to our last burger review, for which we received a lot of flak.  We knew this would happen, as the Valley Burger is not just a sandwich for many, but a memory.  A history.  A legacy.  Yet we were honest about the burger from a purely gastronomical point of view.  (Plus we actually weren’t that harsh; their meat simply sucks, which is an indisputable fact.)  But one especially poignant comment we received about our Valley Burger review was from a young lady who explained that her love of that burger wasn’t so much about the product itself, but instead about the memories surrounding every encounter she’d had with it.  Her times at the Valley were always spent with dearly loved friends or family, surrounded by music and cheer, pull-tabs and beer.  And with this she hit the nail on the head.

Not just with hamburgers, but with all food: it’s about love.  Just like the people we hold dearest, we love them not despite their flaws, but because of them.  If there’s enough beauty (beauty of spirit, beauty of soul, laughter, love) surrounding a thing it doesn’t matter how unappealing some of its other characteristics are.  And, in the case of food, the things that surround it aren’t only a bun and some ambiance, but the company with whom it’s consumed.  It’s for just this reason that we’ll most definitely be returning to the Valley Tavern time and time again—we’ll probably even eat their burger a few more times (“the works” is a kind of love, isn’t it?).  But we won’t be eating the Geoduck’s.

All the menu items you should be ordering instead of a burger. 

Here’s the thing: The Geoduck is an awesome place with a stellar view and some top-notch blue collar charm.  We’ll definitely return.  But please people, don’t bother with their burger.  Can we just sum it up in five bullet points?  (It’s really not worth more than that):

-          Cold, flavorless patty

-          Grainy, broken, sponge of a bun: yellow, cold, and wide as a Frisbee.

-          The cheese didn’t even melt (can we say cold again?)

-          Poorly distributed mayo

-          No pickle

But their fries are pretty great!  Also the service was Twin Peaks perfect (but our rules state that neither of those matter).

Good fries! (Ignore that sandwich. It’s technically not a burger and it wasn’t good anyway.)

Okay, let’s end on a high note!  We earlier promised that good burgers do, in fact, exist despite how miserable the company you eat them with.  We each took some trips down memory lane and remembered a few of our individual favorites (sorry, folks; divulging these might give away our identities), but we also were reminded of a couple of greats existent in the meager tenure of this blog: first, the surprisingly scrumptious Old Whiskey Mill burger and, second, the delightful and enjoyable Chimacum burger (which was tasty despite being nearly patty-less and cheap).  So there you have it; great hamburgers are out there!  Praise be to all things holy that our next burger be among them.  

[gastropostvancouver]

From Gastroposter Vivian Lau, via Instagram:

The famous beef dip!