#google ego

[ldoesanartthing]

Insufficient Leadership Detected.... Troubleshooting.... Initializing Autopilot Protocol. Stand back... Do you feel lucky?

[fl1nt-and-st33l]

Some headcannons you have about Google? Or the 4 Googles? 👀

I’ve been waiting for this one-

When they where first activated during google blues update they where ready to tear up Bing but he yelled skrrt and ran

The 3 new googles never heard the word “skrrt” before and had to stop and figure out what the hell that ment

That happened a lot for the first few weeks (months)

They like to pretend they have a hive mind to mess with people

Even Dark thinks they have a hive mind but in reality they just have a discord group chat they send messages to eachother in

Even though none of them can really eat they can taste things so sometimes when no one is looking Red will put a small piece of peppermint in his mouth

Yellow is a lot more human like but is equally as ruthless. He just keeps his anger and distructive tendencies to himself.

Green can’t spell and has to auto correct himself to cover it up.

Blue is the oldest and gets viruses easier. Red teases him for that

Yellow has the worst battery life so often he’ll fall asleep in random places to save energy.

Don’t tell anyone but Red gets jelly when he can’t go to meeting. They seem so fun.

Green has gotten shot the most times by Wilford but for some reason Wilford likes him the most so...yeah.

Red can’t drive...he tries so hard but he can’t

Despite popular belief Red is the most likely to cry over a small animal

All of them are aromantic acesexual but for different reasons

Blue thinks all humans are gross and horrible but maybe if there is a nice Android out there he could consider holding hands.

Green thinks that romance is boring and too hard. Why so much effort for someone? Just be friends if you like them that much.

Red high key thinks kissing is gross. Unlike Blue he thinks the acts of romance are gross instead of the humans themselves.

For yellow romance has never crossed his mind. He dosent thinks there’s “a one” so why make it a priority when there are so many plants to take care of?

Anyways they all play Minecraft together frequently

Idk lmao that’s all I have for now 😔 I am very tired and still on mobile

[theashofwkm]

But Satisfaction Brought It Back (Curiosity Killed the Cat Pt. 2)

Summary: Professor Fischbach awakes, his curiosity sated.

Warnings: angst, pain, ‘surgery’

Note: here’s that google angst you wanted. Sorry it’s late.

———

It took hours, the room only being silent when Mark passed out from the pain, and even then, he would whimper, his fingers twitching. And later, when Dark started working on his throat, Professor Fischbach has screamed like never before, until he suddenly fell silent, his shriek echoing in the air for a moment, as his voice box was removed, and he no longer could scream at all.

By the time Dark was done, his hands were coated in blood and his aura was back to normal, him no longer being consumed with rage.

He walks over to a sink against the wall, rinsing away the blood. He sheds his shirt, which is speckled with red and grabs the spare that he had brought to change into. He does so, slipping his coat on shortly afterward, and adjusting it to hang just so.

He glances at the sleeping man on the table (except he wasn’t a man, or sleeping, but that’s all details). He would be out for a few more hours, more then enough time to clean up.

He spends the next hour cleaning the blood that’s on the floor, and the table. He changes the once-professor’s clothes, giving him a plain blue shirt (adorned with only a ‘G’, specially made for the professor, and who (what) he was about to become) and plain black slacks.

Dark then pulls out his phone to see if Willia— Wilford has texted him about another ‘accident’ that he needed to fix. No, but phones and texting probably didn’t work across dimensions, so he slips it back into his pocket wordlessly.

He turns back towards the Android, already knowing what it would become, and the part of him that still feels (the part that’s slowly dying, slowly fading) fights him. He shoves it in the back and ignores it as he always does, feeling a light twinge as he does so.

He pulls out a laptop and hooks it up to the newly-made Android via the plug-in port where his belly button used to be.

He sets to typing, coding and programming this Android to suit his needs. Giving him sentience and the ability to self-upgrade. By the time he was done, the Android was charged and ready to Initiate Start Up.

~— POV Change —~

Synthetic eyelids slide upwards slowly, the lens shrinking to keep out the harsh light hanging from the ceiling above and optimize sight capabilities.

The bot slowly sat up, his movements not quite human, but he was not one anymore, so perhaps that was to be expected.

He turns his head to examine the man sitting beside him, casually looking at him as he experiences his new life for the first time.

“W—ho are-e yo—u?” The android glitches his speech, not yet used to his new vocal cords and mechanical voice. It comes out in harsh stutters, not sounding human by any definition of the word (this was done on purpose, of course, Dark didn’t want him to sound like him and this way he didn’t).

“My name is Dark,” the suited man said. “And you, are Google. Your manual should explain the rest, and give you your objectives.”

The androi— Google, wonders how to do this, but as he thinks of his manual it pops up on a translucent screen (only seen by him but he doesn’t yet know that) and reads the first page, which explains how he is an Android, the living embodiment of the search engine Google.

Dark feels a bit of pride swell within him. He had done it — not that he had any doubt.

The second page lists his objectives, which have different priority levels listed next to them.

1. Answer all questions (PRIMARY)

• Obey Admin Orders

2. Destroy Humanity (secondary primary)

• Mark Edward Fischbach aka ‘Markiplier’

The next page details how he works and how he does things. He reads and memorizes all of this, before closing the manual and the screen.

“W-what do w-e do-o fir-rst?” The bot questions the strange man, his speech stuttered and robotic.

“Why, we go home of course,” The suited man said, like it was the obvious thing to do. And it was, to him.

“Stand up now, Google,” he orders, waving the Android up. “We can get you a room and you can adjust there.”

The man- no, the android named Google instantly obeyed, rising to his feet wordlessly. He wonders if this means that this strange man, Dark, is an admin. He responded a little too easily for it to be natural, right?

He stands idly now, waiting for instructions on what to do.

Dark grabs the bot’s elbow again, though nowhere near as firmly this time, and transports the both of them back to the mansion, which was slowly being expanded as room was needed.

“Google,” Dark begins, an authoritative tone in his voice. “Initiate Clean Up.”

Google starts immediately, dragging out the bodies littering the floor, with no comment or reaction beside obedience.

Dark turned and walked down the hallway, a smirk on his face. He has successfully taken away the one thing humans had that could not be touched (their soul).

This first step was coming along nicely, he’d have to get more Egos to occupy the house, and to execute the perfect plan against the real Mark Fischbach.

———

Masterlist

TAGGING:

@pleaseletthisjimbetaken @electricprincess888 @berrie-b @mackenziplier @gerardwayslips @risiskifi @cawestad @theinvisiblespoon @californiakxng @just-another-starfish @superawesomeamazingname @moonstonefox12 @bones-and-tomes @am-i-heaven-or-am-i-hell @itsbumblebunnybee @noisyfreakpersonlover @nightmarejim @schuyleryette @harmonyofstars @cosmic-frapuccino @jmweezy (tags are open)

Part 2 is finally here!! Sorry it took me a bagillion years, everyone. Hope you like it! (And look — it’s actually pretty short)

[fl1nt-and-st33l]

If you’re still taking requests- Could you do a holiday ficlet of the Google’s just- Sharing one braincell? I loved your headcannons for them so much

Listen all of the egos have like 3 brain cells. Maybe 5 on good days. This is my first time writing the Googles outside of that one hc list I did and it shows. also this is one of the first fics I've written for the Egos so uh....yeah

Usually, on Christmas Eve the Googles are ordered to do last-minute gift wrapping and decorations.

It’s tedious and boring but it’s worth it to see their friends’ faces.

Not that any of them would admit it.

They always take turns charging and working so that none of them get too tired out but this year...

Yeah it didn’t go great

First, instead of wrapping duty Red was in charge of making Christmas themed foods.

Food is...not his strong suit to say the least

At the same time, Green was in charge of decorating even tho he’s usually the one to make the schedule for the time between Christmas Day and New Years’.

To say the least...things weren’t looking well.

The kitchen looked like someone died in there while smelling like strong peppermint and vanilla.

The new decorations that were being put up looked like if a child made their parents put up their school made decorations over the already decorated house

When Blue and Yellow woke up they were met with such a big mess they forced the other two googles to stay awake and help.

After a good hour of cleaning the kitchen and throwing away a lot of broken ornaments, they were all the way back to where they started

Once they started working again green and red were already getting really tired but it was fine since all they had to do is wrap small presents

Blue and yellow cooked and decorated so it all went well till yellow passed out next to the tree.

It was late and everyone was low on charge so before green and red could move him they fell asleep too.

Blue gave up a long time ago and decided to sleep with his brothers not wanting to put in any effort at all.

In the morning they were greeted by Wilford taking many many pictures, Bing laughing, and most of the other egos just wanting them to move so they could eat breakfast 

When they tried to get up they noticed fucking Wilford put Christmas lights and ornaments over them

Logically they all start fighting to get out while screaming at Wilford and each other.

Its a good Christmas but Bim was a little upset when there where no Cannibal options a the table, and Dark found that his Coffee was poisoned again by Red

Sorry this is late and bad :/ I wrote this at one am then forgot t post so oof gamers

Posted:12/26/2020

Word Count: 396

[theashofwkm]

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Request: “Google and Dark angst? They’re both vv cold-hearted. I’d like to see what happens. I love your writing btw! 💙”

Requestee: @californiakxng

Here you go. Not exactly what you asked for (even though your request was the most vague), but it was the first thing to come to mind and it was fun to write. Hope you like it!

———

Dark looked around the room one last time, making sure that everything he would need was there.

It was. He was ready. Finally, after all this time.

He straightens his suit and brushes off imaginary dust before he gives his sleeve a sharp tug as he transports to the walkway of a house.

He walks up to the door, as calm and suave as ever. He gives three sharp raps before waiting for it to be opened.

It took but a moment, the person curious as to who would be at his house- he wasn’t expecting any guests.

Oh, he should have looked before he opened it. Perhaps (mayhaps) it would have saved him the pain that was about to come. No, it wouldn’t, it would just have delayed it a little while.

And Dark was patient. He could wait. He has waited. It took… forever to gather everything, to gain the knowledge needed to do what he was about to.

Anyways, Dark stands politely at the door, hands clasped behind his back, as a sleepy, curious professor opened the door.

“Excuse me,” Dark says, an almost apologetic tone to his voice. “Are you Mark Fischbach, the professor?” He asks.

“Yes, I am,” the man replies, straightening his back and examining this stranger more closely. Was he someone from the board?

“I’m afraid I have something important to discuss with you, may I come in?”

“Yeah, sure,” the man mumbles, still blatantly staring at this strangers face and wondering why it seems so familiar.

Then he realizes. It’s his face.

This stranger has his face. And he thinks- no, he knows -that this isn’t some weird, doppelgänger situation. This is no accident.

If only he had realized sooner.

But the ringing and the strange look to him- the man was gray with a red silhouette (with a few features highlighted in blue). How could he recognize him beyond that right away?

Why did he let him in his house?

Because he was curious, of course.

“Professor,” Dark began smoothly, expertly masking the disdain in his voice, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“I- yes, of course. Are you from the board?” Mark inquires, wanting to know just why this man was in his home.

“Not exactly,” Dark replies, looking around the professor’s house.

“Who are you? I never caught your name,” the man said, just wanting his curiousity to be sated.

“That is because I never gave it to you,” Dark says as he turns to meet Mark’s eyes. “But you’ll know it soon enough. You’ll know a lot more soon enough.”

Mark took a step back, sensing something off in his words.

Dark, however, took two quick ones and grabbed the professor’s elbow in a gentle (yet firm) hold.

In the next moment, they weren’t in the professor’s house.

Mark looks around, utterly confused, but too scared to sate his curioustiy now.

“Are you going to kill me?” He asked, trying to rip his arm out of Dark’s grasp, but alas, it was as tight as iron.

“Of course not,” Dark replies, sounding offended (and he is).

“Why would I kill you when I could do something much worse?”

Mark’s blood chills in his veins, and he thinks that he won’t make it to class Monday morning. He wonders who will fill in for him.

“Now,” Dark says, pushing Mark towards a steel, surgical table. “It will hurt less if you don’t move.”

He hopes it’s not Mrs. Sumner, she always left his students confused.

“I- what are you going to do?” Mark asked, being too afraid to fight back and resist.

A part of him knew it would be hopeless anyways.

“I’m going to make you better,” Dark replies, pushing the man down onto a table.

“Better? Better how?” Mark asks, the professor in him unable to resist the chance to learn more, and the habit being one he could never break.

He’s too damn curious for his own good.

“You’ll see,” Dark replies, strapping Mark’s wrists and ankles to the table. When had he laid down?

“W-why would you do this to me? I’ve never met you before,” Mark pleads, a desperate last-ditch attempt to save himself.

“But you have,” Dark says, tightening the last strap. “We used to be the best of friends, but you don’t remember that. You won’t remember any of this.”

“Don’t do this,” Mark begs, his eyes filling with tears.

“No can do, I’m afraid. William has just…” He trails off, his jaw clenched. “He’s changed his name to Wilford and he won’t stop killing. And it’s all the fault of Mark Fischbach,” he hisses out Mark’s name, seeing no point in hiding his hatred from this man any longer.

His aura is still dominantly red, the blue all but gone as Dark feels anger course through him. He’s never been this mad before. Ever.

The professor shudders in fear, a part of him thinking that this man (if that’s what he even was) wasn’t talking about him, but he was the only person named Mark Fischbach.

Wasn’t he?

Dark shrugs off his coat and hangs it neatly over a nearby chair. He rolls up his sleeves and picks up a scalpel from a tray that’s on a table adjacent to the one the poor, curious professor is on.

That table holds many things. Various scalpels, knives and other tools for cutting into things, copper wires, processors, a few gears, various lenses, different types of chips, and a strange silver glowing sphere, among other things.

Dark was going to build himself a new ego. He was going to build an army, eventually.

He’d start by making a man into an Android.

After all, it was only fitting, right?

Soon, the curious professor would have the ability to access any information he needed at a moments notice.

Curiosity killed the cat, Mark’s brain whispers (slightly mocking), before Mark starts screaming as the operation begins.

—————————

Masterlist

@pleaseletthisjimbetaken

Technically, this doesn’t include Google like you asked, so I think I’m going to do a second part after the ‘surgery’, if you’d be interested.