Writer's note: i really wanted to show that i can write angst too😭
WARNINGS: reader is 8 years old, physical punishment mentioned, neglect, violence, character death, blood, tommy lwk is a bad father in this, Grace is a bitch, grief
Tommy forgets about the safety of his daughter when going out with Grace and Charlie
Y/N Shelby, the daughter of the infamous Birmingham gangster from a previous wife. Known to be his princess and the most spoiled girl of all Birmingham. That was...until she arrived—Grace Burgess. Tommy's first wife—Y/N's mother, died because of disease and he was quite distraught. Until Grace appeared in his life and suddenly Tommy felt that same feeling in his otherwise cold heart. One problem was that Grace was a nightmare towards Y/N, which grew even more once Charlie was born. Grace felt as if Tommy didn't give Charlie—and in extent, her, enough attention in contrast to Y/N. So Grace lied, manipulated and pretended about how Y/N did this, Y/N did that. Grace would especially use the fact that Y/N hadn't warmed up to her yet as a weapon to lie towards Tommy, how Y/N insulted her, used profanity with her name, how she gossiped. It strained the relationship Y/N and Tommy once had, because Tommy unfortunately believed Grace's tears over Y/N's defense. It made the 8-year-old girl sad. This also made Tommy grow distant from Y/N and the attention she once was showered in were now crumbs of bread given to her. Grace felt happy that Tommy was showing her and Charlie more attention now—even if it meant that he was growing neglectful towards his daughter.
Tommy, Grace and Y/N found themselves in the couple's bedroom as Grace had accused Y/N of stealing jewelry from her. Tommy turned to the little girl as he sternly asked, "Y/N, is what Grace says true?" Y/N, he called her by her name. He didn't even bother with pet names anymore like he used to do, like sweetheart, love and Y/N's personal favorite was darling. She quickly shook her head as she said, "No!!! I didn't, daddy!!! I swear!!!" As her voice cracked a little, caused by her raising it. Grace angrily told Tommy, "She hates me, Tommy! Charlie would never do such a thing and the maids wouldn't ever betray us!!! Why would I suddenly miss the majority of my jewelry!?" Angrily. Tommy sighed in annoyance as he said, "Fine, I'll go look through your room, Y/N, if you truly are innocent," as he walked off to her room with heavy footsteps. The two girls followed after him as Tommy was looking in every hook and cranny in her room. Suddenly, when he looked through her closet.... There it was, hidden beneath her socks and tights were jewelry, the jewelry he bought Grace for special, intimate days like birthdays, their marriage, when Charlie was born, etc. Tommy couldn't describe the fury he felt as he slowly turned to Y/N. He noticed how Y/N was about to defend herself so he quickly interrupted her as he yelled, "SHUT IT!!!!" Which made Y/N look shocked. Tommy had never yelled at her... Tommy then said, "What did I tell you about touching things that aren't yours?" In that eerily calm tone. Y/N for the first time...felt a little scared of her father. "Go to my office, with your hands on my desk," he told her quietly with that angry expression. Her heart dropped, she knew what he meant—he was gonna punish her. He hadn't ever punished her before...not before Grace that is. Ever since Grace she occasionally got a spanking and such, but she knew that now he was gonna use a ruler. After a while, the punishment had finished and Y/N was left sobbing in her room. Frances was holding ice over her little hands—caring for her the way Tommy failed to do.
That night, there was a gala that Tommy was invited to—along with Grace, Charlie and Y/N. While they were getting ready, Tommy went to check up on Y/N to see if she wanted to come along—but saw her asleep in her bed. He sighed as he saw the dried tears on her cheek. There was a twitch of guilt in his heart—he hated punishing his daughter, but in his eyes it was needed for what she had done. Stealing jewelry crossed the line. He decided not to wake her up and to let her stay home for the night. When Tommy, Grace and Charlie walked to the car and drove off, he had failed to realize that there were enemies of his who needed leverage against him for deals. Y/N was snoring softly in her bed, gripping her stuffed bunny tightly under her arms. Her eyes slowly blinked as she heard some commotion downstairs. Maids yelling—in fear she recognized. And the voices of men—voices she didn't recognize. She sat up as she looked at the clock in her room. "11:30," it read. "What's going on downstairs?" she asked herself quietly, innocence lacing her tone as she stepped down from her bed and quietly walked out of her room. She stood over the stairs as she looked at how there were strange men in her home. She looked confused but then gasped softly as one of the men noticed her. The man yelled out something like, "I found her!" But she was already running off as the man pounded up the stairs. She ran into one of the rooms and hid in the closet that was standing there.
She heard him. Heavy footsteps walking across the upstairs area. "Where are you, little girl? I just wanna talk," the man said. Y/N held her tiny hands over her mouth as she looked through the creak in fear. "Where's daddy? I want daddy..." she thought to herself. Her eyes began to water as the fear in her was set to a maximum, grabbing a wooden hanger as a weapon. The men were in a large group and had taken the maids hostage in their quarters so that they couldn't intervene with capturing little Y/N. One maid, on the other hand, was taking a smoke break outside when the break-in happened. Shocked at the scene as the maid watched from the bushes, she made the decision to rush to a place where she could find the nearest taxi to warn the Blinders. "Come out, where's that pretty face hidin'? I don't see any point in hiding, darlin'... I'll catch you eventually," the man called out with an eerie laugh. They were part of a gangster group who the Blinders had pissed off—they killed a brother. Now they were out for revenge, wanting to make a deal with Tommy to make sure he suffers too. But they needed a way to make him agree without killing them instantly, and that was with using his beloved daughter and Peaky princess as leverage. The man looked in one room and noticed a piece of cloth sticking out of the closet. He couldn't see if it was just clothes belonging in there or Y/N, so he held his gun and shot the wall next to the closet, which made the little girl let out a frightened squeal. The man laughed loudly as he stomped over and pulled her out of the closet. She screamed as the bunny dropped out of her hand, out of panic she poked the metal part of the hanger in the man's eye which made him yell out and drop both her and the gun to nurse his eye. She had sometimes seen her uncles and father kick away guns so that they were further out of reach, so the little girl quickly kicked it under the closet.
She ran to the telephone within the room to call her sister, Ada. Ada had always played games with Y/N in order to make her remember her telephone number for when an emergency hit. That was when the man's eyes filled with terror. He assumed she was gonna call Tommy, Arthur or John. So out of panic, he grabbed her nightgown from behind before she could reach up for the telephone and pinned her body down. She squealed out as she hit the man's arms, but her strength would only go so far. The man's paranoia rose as he grabbed a wooden statue off the table and began to hit Y/N's head. Once, twice, thrice. Then it went dark.
Tommy rushed home, breaking all the traffic laws out there. The maid had gone over to Michael, who rushed to the gala and informed Tommy and the brothers what was happening at his home. Arthur sat in the passenger's seat while John was in the back. "I swear to fuckin' hell if they hurt her..." Arthur angrily muttered out. Y/N was Arthur's favorite niece, and he was like a second father to her. Tommy didn't say anything, he was only focused on one thing—you. When they arrived at the home, it took 15 to 30 minutes before the enemy gangsters were dead. Apparently, their fear for the 3 brothers was a lot bigger than their balls. Tommy ran up the stairs while the Blinders were dealing with the men as he maniacally looked for Y/N. He then went into the room Y/N had hid and his heart stopped. There she was...his sweet girl, his beloved daughter...dead on the floor. Blood was pooling down her head as he fell to his knees and scrambled over. He was shaking as he held her body to him while saying, "Come on, darlin'...wake up, wake up for daddy...come on love..." Repeatedly. Arthur and John walked in and their hearts also took a leap when they saw their sweet Y/N dead in Tommy's arms. They were frozen in shock by the doorway—not knowing what to do. It wasn't common that an 8-year-old in the Shelby family died because of gang violence. It was also the first time they had seen Tommy cry. He wasn't sobbing, just quiet tears streaming down his face. Y/N was the anchor in his life, the innocence that he regained in him from a young age when she was born. Tommy was in denial; he made himself believe the denial. She wasn't dead... Just unconscious. But he knew better—he lost his little girl.
For days, Tommy stayed in his office, day and night. Normally, people wouldn’t bat an eye since he was a workaholic, but this time he wasn't even in with his head when there was business, didn’t check on Grace or Charlie, didn't talk to his family. He was trapped in that moment—seeing his daughter on the floor. His guilt deepened when he learned Grace had lied about all the ‘bad’ things Y/N had done, how Y/N had never actually stolen the jewelry but Grace had planted them there—he had let love blind him, trusting a stranger over his own child, the girl he had promised to protect and cherish until she had gray hair. The pieces that Y/N had built up in him had fallen again, Tommy Shelby was yet again a broken man. After all, when she was born, he had imagined walking her down the aisle, not staring down at her grave.
Summary: Tommy initially was trying to courtship Y/N when Grace broke the news of her pregnancy, so he had to step back and be responsible for his child. That was the only reason he decided to be there for Grace. Until one day he accidentally heard a phone call that would change everything.
Word count: 2,200
This was meant to be a request I got but somewhere down the road I decided to change it, no worries I’m still working on the request 🤭
Y/N took a step back to admire the Christmas tree she had been decorating for a few hours, she had a tight budget so going back home for the holidays to spend it at her aunt’s place wasn’t an option unfortunately. She had already made peace with the fact that she’d spend the holidays only with her grandma. Studying the tree it looked nice, she made a few ribbons and added faux pearls around it as decorations.
Tommy was fuming, he walked like a wild animal in a cage, his footsteps could be heard so loud even before he reached her door. It was so late now and unusual of him to show up like this. Specially after not having seen each other in months.
“What happene-” Y/N asked in confusion.
But Tommy wouldn’t let her finish her question, his mouth crashed hard against her lips taking her by surprise. The kiss was hungry and desperate.
One of his hands was holding her head in place while the other traveled down her back.
“You were fucking right…” he managed to say between heated kisses. “I heard Grace talking to someone on the phone, said the baby isn’t mine.”
His words made Y/N froze and she pushed him by the shoulders to look him in the eyes.
“What?!”
She had heard him, but she couldn’t believe his words.
“She tried to trick me into that husband infertility bullshit and she played her cards so well…until now.”
Y/N took a step back, trying to process this new piece of information. Her head was spinning.
She met him right after the Grace disaster, she knew all about his former partner and how she had left to go somewhere else but then she came back into his life, but he had only used her for revenge.
Tommy assured Y/N that with her he felt completely comfortable, that’s why he wanted to do things differently this time around. Their courtship actually started the right way from the beginning, he asked her out on dates, sent her flowers, walked with her on her way back home, he was truly a gentleman. He even started inviting her to the Garrison for a drink, sometimes in his office and other times at the betting shop, They were getting to know each other, but they weren’t officially a couple.
For a few weeks it was heaven, she was able to discover his sense of humor and how intelligent and interesting Tommy was. She still remembered so well when he kissed her for the first time, standing by her doorstep, Tommy cornered her between his body and the doorframe, his fingertips holding her chin while his other hand rested against the wall. It was tender and slow, it tasted like hope and she felt butterflies in her stomach.
She thought she found her chance to be happy with Tommy. But they were in the phase of getting to know each other and little did she know how things would change overnight.
Until one day he knocked on her door looking pale and so serious… she remembered it so well. She knew something was wrong right away.
And how wrong.
He confessed her then that the woman he had a one night stand with for revenge was pregnant with his child.
It took her several minutes to understand what that meant. Tommy would take full responsibility for that baby and the mother and that meant they couldn’t be together. Their relationship wouldn’t continue.
With a heavy heart she advised he shouldn’t leave the child unprotected and that the mother’s reputation would chase her all her life if she started showing without being married. Even though that she had feelings for Tommy, she couldn’t be the reason between he and his baby. And as much as he made his own rules, society wasn’t ready yet for a children to grow apart from their father, even if he didn’t love the mother.
At least they weren’t officially together when Grace announced her pregnancy, so it was supposed to be easier. Whatever that meant.
He apologized a million times, paced the room from side to side in an attempt to calm himself. But it changed nothing, he had to do the right thing and deal with the consequences of his decisions.
Tommy didn’t have feelings for Grace, she knew it, he was clear about that but she thought eventually after getting married and raising a child together she thought feelings would start to show up, that he’d fall in love with Grace and forget about her for good.
At some point she suspected Grace got pregnant on purpose and let the infertility issue drop so Tommy would step up for her child, like a prophesy he was caught up between his feelings for her and Grace’s unborn child, his sense of responsibility and lack of paternal figure won and Tommy took Grace under his protection, even heard they were planning a wedding after the baby was born. And in the end she was right, Grace had lied about the paternity and the mask finally fell.
“Talk to me, ey?” Tommy’s voice brought her back into reality.
“I knew she was fooling you.” She shook her head.
“Hey, look at me… let’s forget about that, yeah?”
“Just like that? And what about all the times I cried?” She slapped his arm. “What if you never found out about the truth?”
A lump installed in her throat, all of the things that could’ve happened crossed her mind.
“Let’s focus on what’s happening.” Tommy’s hand caressed her cheek carefully, he could see all of her emotions in her eyes. “I probably don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I know deep in your heart you can’t hold onto to that forever.”
He was standing right in front of her, with his eyes full of hope, but also worried that it would be late for them, in the few months they got separated because of Grace’s pregnancy they cut all kinds of communication, and even though he still checked on her, Y/N knew it was for the best, they wouldn’t have an affair no matter what.
“So… you’re free?” She asked with her voice and her heart trembling, thinking of the possibilities.
“It’s over now, there’s no child and no woman between us.” Tommy assured her, his hands on her cheeks to force Y/N to look him in the eyes. “I ordered the maid to pack her bags, and the driver to take her somewhere else.”
He took another small step towards her, their bodies touching and their breaths mixing in the middle.
This new reality changed everything, yet somehow it all felt the same.
“It took me a couple of months to learn the truth, but all I need to know now is… do you still want us to be together?”
Even though they were alone, his voice was just a whisper, a secret between just the two of them.
The thought of her finding someone else crossed his mind, she was beautiful after all, no doubt a long queue of men would be happy to take his place. But could she give her heart away to someone else?
“What about the wedding?”
Although she tried to forget about him and didn’t want to know anything of their lives, she overheard the rumors, there was a big wedding planned for the next fall right after the baby was born.
“If the baby isn’t mine… why would I still marry her? The wedding is canceled. I know I messed up, but I need to know, if there’s still a chance for us?”
Tommy held Y/N’s hands in his, when he decided to step back from their courtship it broke his heart, he had been really looking forward to see where they’d go.
Tommy felt his heart beating hard, he really hoped learning the truth wasn’t so late for them.
“Yes. I do… do you want the same?”
Tommy released the air he had been holding in his chest, but instead of answering with his words, he let her know with his actions what he wanted.
Grabbing her head with both hands, he pulled Y/N for a slow kiss. He needed to believe it was really happening.
Feeling like he had been walking in the dessert for a long time, but he was finally home. He was finally able to do what he had wanted for so long.
Tommy decided he wanted to savor her slowly, without rushing, without hesitation.
There was nothing and nobody between them. Nothing that would keep them apart. Cherishing having her in his arms once more, he could taste her tears in his lips.
“Thank you, thank you.” He murmured against her mouth without breaking apart.
The kiss became more heated by the moment, it was intense and demanding, trying to make up for the lost time. As Tommy’s hand traveled down her thigh, she pressed both hands against his chest to stop him.
It was suddenly so much information in such a short period of time.
“Wait.” Y/N stated breaking the contact, Tommy stared at her disheveled hair and messed lipstick. God she was the most beautiful little thing. “I’m glad you realized the truth before it was too late… but you will have to talk to my grandma, she’s still mad at you.”
Tommy nodded profusely. “Will do.” And tried to kiss Y/N again, but she stopped him by placing a fingertip against his lips.
“And you’ll ask her blessing to ask me out properly again.” She stated firmly.
God he loved to see her like that, bossing him around it was such a turn on.
“Yes. Anything you want.” He tried to sneak his hands around her waist again.
“Who is that, Y/N?” Her grandmother asked from her bedroom.
Scandalized, Y/N covered Tommy’s mouth with her palms. “It’s Vanessa grandma, she needed something. Go back to sleep.”
Tommy used her distraction to pull her closer, he didn’t want to waste more time. Being away from her for a couple of months was enough.
“Ugh it’s past bedtime now, couldn’t it wait?”
Tommy chuckled when she tried to get away from his hands.
“I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.” She tried to push him but it was impossible his hands were like a lock around her.
“Can’t wait for you to take care of me, love.” He wriggled his eyebrows and licked his lips all while giving her a mischievous look.
“Stop it!” She hissed, worried that her grandma would return. “You’ve to go.”
“No.” Tommy stated firmly. Scared that she’d change her mind. “I’m not leaving you again.”
“Tommy I mean for tonight.” Y/N explained, but he shook his head.
“How do I make you understand that I’m not going anywhere?”
“You can’t sleep here.” He stole another kiss.
“Fine. I’ll sleep in the car.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Y/N frowned seeing he was determined to do so. “Oh my God, you actually mean that.”
“I need you to understand how serious I am about us. You’re all that I need.” He could now see it all so clear, he was willing to do anything for her.
Because only when you really love a woman you’re able to understand.
And by just one look in his eyes, she knew he was telling the truth.
Y/N could hardly process what was happening. Their relationship ended right before it could even start because another woman was pregnant with his child, then they found out the truth, their engagement was called off, Grace was out of his life and he was able to finally do what he really wanted and not do something to please anyone else.
“What plans did you have for these days?” He whispered, still holding Y/N close.
Y/N closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head. “Just grandma and me and I’m cooking a little dinner.”
“How about you and your grandma spend the holidays at my place? Think about it.”
The shock of his plans made her open her eyes wide. They were just starting over, how would they spend the holidays together? That was everything but traditional. What would people say? That one day he was engaged to another woman and the next one he brought home a different girl.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Tommy could read it all over her eyes. “And honestly? I don’t care, we’re doing nothing wrong and it’s none of their business.”
“Let’s take one step at the time, yes?” Y/N proposed feeling more worried about her grandmother’s reaction.
It was crazy to give in so easily, yes. But what options did she have? Pretend to still be mad at him or turn things over and be happy finally?
“Try to get some sleep.” He showered her face with kisses before grabbing his coat and walking outside. “Goodnight love.”
From the window, Y/N saw him climbing in the back seat, he was really going to sleep there!
That was insane, but it was a small sacrifice he’d have to do after everything that happened.
A/N: thank you for reading! I know in today’s world you’d say oh they could still be together while Grace had the baby or he could always take a DNA test, but remember back then those things weren’t possible and this story is based in that period of time… if you want to leave a comment your feedback is always appreciated! ♥️✨
Edit- please don’t come at me, it was just an idea that crossed my mind, the possibility of Charlie not being Tommy’s son due to the bad timing in the series 🫢🤔
description: in which his ex comes back after two years, and his fiancée is worried about what this means for their engagement
pairing: thomas shelby x female!reader
warnings: swearing, use of y/n
masterlist (one, two, three)
Tommy didn't expect to fall in love after Grace had ran off. He had loved her more than he loved anyone, and he thought he'd never find that love again.
Until he met (Y/N).
They met at an event Tommy had to attend. He only went to make an appearance, and was looking for a way to leave when he spotted her. Right away, he was taken by her. He spent the rest of the night talking to her, and even drove her home at the end of the night.
Within two months, Tommy had proposed. He couldn't risk losing this one. She made him feel even better than he had with Grace. (Y/N) was the one, he was sure of it. So, he asked her to marry him, and he was beyond ecstatic when she said yes.
Everything was perfect, until the day Tommy took (Y/N) to the races.
It was a scorching hot day in Birmingham. Tommy and his brothers were set to go to the races, and obviously he had asked (Y/N) to come with them. She was wearing a summer dress that Tommy had bought for her and, as he had predicted, she looked breathtaking in it. He couldn't keep his eyes - or his hands - off of her.
"You're going to cause a scandal," (Y/N) teased as Tommy's hand made its way under her dress again.
"No one's looking, love," Tommy assured her, moving her hair from her shoulder so he could start kissing her neck.
(Y/N) fought the pleasure his actions were giving her to push him away. As good as Tommy made her feel, she was no going to let him have his way with her in public.
"Can you get me something to drink?" she asked. "I'm parched, and quite hot."
"Of course, darling."
Tommy gave her a quick peck before going to find a concessions stand.
He was waiting for their drinks when a familiar voice said, "Tommy?"
He thought he imagined it, but he realized that couldn't be it. He hadn't even thought of her in years. There's no way he would suddenly be imagining her again. So, he allowed himself to turn, and there she was.
Grace.
Just as beautiful as the day she left him.
"I didn't expect to see you here," she said.
"I didn't expect to see you anywhere," Tommy responded. "I thought you fell off the face of the Earth. Since I never heard from you and all."
A flash of guilt showed on Grace's face. It made Tommy happy to know she felt guilty for what she did.
"I can't apologize enough - "
"No, you can't," Tommy said. He was finally given his drinks. He took them and began to walk away from her.
"Wait!" She took hold of his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Please, let me explain. I'll tell you everything."
Tommy looked down at her hand. It was hard to miss the diamond ring on her ring finger.
"Will your husband be okay with that?"
She seemed to bristle a little at the comment, but she managed to keep her composure. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind me catching up with an old friend."
Tommy held his tongue from correcting her. He wanted to know the truth about what happened with Grace. Even if that's all their meeting was - which it would be - then it could at least be some closure for him. He agreed to Grace's proposal, but only under the condition that she meet him at the Garrison. He needed to have some sort of control in this situation.
It was only as Tommy was walking back to his seat that he realized he hadn't told Grace he was engaged. In fact, he had completely forgotten about (Y/N) for those few moments.
She was still in her seat wen he got back, eagerly watching the current race. The moment he laid his eyes on her, Tommy felt his heart swell. He realized that he felt nothing but contempt for Grace. He wasn't eager for their meeting at the Garrison as he would've been nearly two years ago. It was nothing more than a business meeting to him now, because his heart belonged to one woman.
(Y/N) looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "You've been gone for some time. Did you get lost?"
He smiled back. Instead of responding, he sat with her and kissed her cheek. (Y/N) giggled and leaned into him.
Tommy thought about telling (Y/N) about Grace, but he wasn't sure how to. He didn't want her to get upset over Grace's appearance, and their agreement of a private meeting, but he knew there was no way to bring it up without (Y/N) getting upset. He couldn't blame her either. If the roles were reversed and one of (Y/N)'s exes were trying to reconnect with her...well, that person wouldn't be around much longer.
(Y/N) looked up at Tommy and nudged him. "Are you alright? You look deep in thought."
"I saw Grace," he blurted.
"Grace? Like...the Grace?" Tommy nodded. "When? Just then?" He nodded again. "Oh, wow. What did she say?"
"She asked if we could meet up to talk about her leaving."
"What did you say?"
"I told her we could meet at the Garrison."
(Y/N) nodded, her face unreadable. "When?"
"Tomorrow night."
"And...did you tell her about me?"
Tommy was silent. He couldn't lie to her, and his silence was enough of an answer. She turned away from him to focus on the race again. She felt so many emotions that she couldn't even place them. She knew Tommy loved her, and she knew he was loyal, but she was also aware of Tommy and Grace's past. He told her everything about their relationship when they first got together. So she knew how intense Tommy and Grace's relationship had been, and how broken he was when she left.
Tommy reached over and put his hand on her leg. "Love, look at me."
(Y/N) reluctantly turned to face her fiance.
"I will call the meeting off if it makes you uncomfortable," he said. "Or you can come and be there when it happens."
She shook her head. "No, I think that will likely make it more awkward."
Tommy cupped her face. "Do you trust me?"
"My mind is screaming that I shouldn't, but my heart says I do." She chuckled and added, "That sounded so cheesy."
"It did," Tommy agreed. He pulled her towards him to place a kiss on her lips. "I promise this is nothing more than a meeting to get some closure. Any love I felt for Grace disappeared when she did. You are the only woman who has my heart, and that will never change."
(Y/N) smiled and leaned into Tommy. "I believe you. Just...tell her about me the moment she shows up, okay?"
"I will, love."
~~~~~~
The next night, (Y/N) was pacing her and Tommy's shared living room. Tommy had left for his meeting with Grace moments ago. He had kissed her and told her he wouldn't be long, and she had smiled at him but didn't speak. Once he was gone, she had stood and immediately began to walk around the house. Her nerves were making it impossible to be still.
She told Tommy she had trusted him, and that wasn't a lie, but she couldn't help the gnawing feeling of unease and jealousy. It was a cliche to say, but it was Grace she didn't trust. She didn't know Grace besides what Tommy had told her about their previous relationship, and the fact that Grace was now married. But would that be enough to stop Grace from wanting to make a move on Tommy? Would Tommy's engagement be enough?
Her mind would not rest. She was starting to regret telling Tommy she wasn't going to accompany him to the meeting. Even if it would've been awkward, at least her mind would've been at ease.
Before she could register what she was doing, (Y/N) was pulling on a coat and heading out the door. She started walking towards the Garrison. She knew it was a bad idea to just drop in on Tommy and Grace's meeting, but the not knowing was killing her. She couldn't just stay home and wait for Tommy to come back.
It was a slow night at the pub. There were a few men sat along the bar, and three men sat around one table. Harry was wiping down some glassware at the bar when (Y/N) walked in. He regarded her and nodded towards the private room that the Shelby's frequented, signaling that Tommy was still in there. (Y/N) walked towards the room, intending to knock before entering, until she heard a woman's voice on the other side.
"I never meant to hurt you, Tommy. I know I betrayed you, and nothing can ever change that. But you have to know that I did love you - that I do love you. I left Birmingham because I knew it would be better for you if I did, but I never stopped thinking about you."
"What about your husband?" came Tommy's voice.
"I love him, but I'm not in love with him. He has been a marriage of convenience more than anything. He was there, and he had a good job and a good life, and I hadn't hurt him."
There was silence. (Y/N) could only imagine what was happening on the other side of the door. She hadn't missed Grace admitting to still being in love with Tommy, and even if it seemed Tommy had. Or maybe was just ignoring the fact that she said it.
Or maybe he was happy to hear it?
"I've missed you so much, Tommy," came Grace's voice, soft. "I've thought about you every day since I left. I've been hoping for a day where I could see you again, just one more time, and as for you to give me another chance."
(Y/N) could feel her heart breaking. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she backed away from the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Harry looking at her. She wouldn't look directly at him, but she could make out the look of pity on his face. He must've known what was happening in that room, or had some idea anyways.
She was about to leave when she heard Tommy say, "Any chances you had left when you did, Grace."
(Y/N)'s ears perked back up as she moved back towards the door.
"I loved you once, Grace. If you had come back, even after admitting to me your betrayal, I might've taken you back. But I've moved on now. I have found a woman that I love more than anything in this world, and who loves me just as much. There is nothing and no one in this world who could convince me to leave (Y/N), not even you."
There was a silence on the other side. It wasn't until the knob started to turn on the door that (Y/N) realized Grace was leaving. She quickly stumbled away from the door just before it swung open and hit her. She was stood frozen as she looked at Grace - beautiful, blonde, elegant Grace, stood in a crimson red dress and her hair curled. Grace seemed just as shocked to see someone standing on the other side, but swiftly moved around (Y/N) to exit the pub as quickly as possible.
Tommy was sat at the table with a lit cigarette to his mouth. He didn't look surprised to see (Y/N). He took a long drag and blew it out of the corner of his mouth, before motioning with his fingers for (Y/N) to join him.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to - "
"How much of it did you hear?" he asked.
"Well, I arrived sometime before her love confession."
"Which one?"
(Y/N) felt an angry heat rise in her face. "There were multiple?"
"There was two. Three, if you count her asking for another chance at the end there."
"Well, in that case I arrived before the second one."
Tommy reached out for his fiancée, gently touching her arm and pulling her to sit next to him.
"So you heard what I said to her, then?" he asked. (Y/N) nodded. "And you know I meant every word."
"Of course I do," she said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just shown up like this. I just couldn't settle down at home while I waited for you. I needed to be here."
"I did offer for you to sit in on the meeting." His tone was light and there was a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. That's how (Y/N) knew he wasn't being serious, or that he wasn't upset about her appearance.
"I know. I should've taken you up on that," she said. She leaned close to Tommy and kissed his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you, too, darling. Don't ever think that I don't."
Tags: arranged marriage, contract marriage, slow burn, fluff, reader gets headaches from cigarette and cigar smoke, disliking Grace, reader is in her early 20s, language, set around the end of season 1, (tags will be added as the story continues)
“This isn’t the latest fashion, madam, as a wave of shorter dresses is now very in, but I think the girl looks beautiful in this one,” the sales woman said as she urged you to step on the stand before the full body mirror. You pulled the dress up as not to step on it, carefully standing on the small stand. Looking at yourself in the mirror, your hands went over the fabric absentmindedly, this was by far your favorite dress that you’ve tried this afternoon.
You saw Polly smile in the mirror, “Beautiful.”
It was a floor length ivory white dress, with matching gloves in the same ivory white color that stopped above your elbow.
“We also have a veil that adds to the complete look,” the saleswoman motioned with her hand to her assistant to go and get it.
“What do you think? You’ve been awfully quiet.” Polly asked you.
“Just speechless,” you managed to say, you truly didn’t know what kind of magic these people worked here. The dress fit you stunningly, and you weren’t quick to say that about yourself.
“We’re taking it,” Polly stated matter of fact as the assistant was just attaching the veil to your hair.
“Wonderful, Mrs. Gray, are we looking at some jewelry today as well?” she asked and Polly nodded to her and the saleswoman and assistant disappeared into the back.
“Polly,” you began as you were sure the sales people were out of earshot, “I don’t mean to intrude upon family matters…”
“Speak child.”
“But what did you mean by Tommy’s sister starving herself?”
Polly sighed and stood up, walking over to the door the ladies had disappeared off to, and asked if they could bring their entire bridal collection from jewelry, to lingerie, to shoes. Closing the door behind her, you realized she did that to make sure they’d stay away for a while.
“Tommy’s sister Ada gave birth yesterday,” she began.
“Oh congratulations! I’d love to visit her,” you said.
Polly smiled at you and began explaining everything that happened, John’s wedding to Esmee, Ada going into a labor at said wedding, and the truce Tommy had called so Freddie could be with his wife and son. And how it all went wrong. How the boys’ father was in town, making everything more complicated than it already was. An Inspector who was also a headache to deal with since he had it out for Tommy.
Your expression became solemn, “I don’t believe that.” She looked up at you. “I know I don’t know Tommy as well as you or the others. But,” you recalled his smile and the way he told you he’d protect you, “I don’t believe Tommy didn’t keep his word.”
The woman across from you sighed, “I admit I reacted emotionally.”
“Thomas he,” you began, “seems like a calculating man. I don’t know what he could gain from this. Family seems to mean everything to him.” You realized you were just rambling. And you only met the man yesterday. But in the way you spent the afternoon with him. You picked up on the fact that he is an ambitious man, but that he cares deeply for his family as well.
Polly glanced towards the closed door, “I hear them coming, we’ll talk about this later, somewhere more private.” You just nodded in response.
It was late in the evening when you came home, after trying on so many lingerie sets, jewelry, and shoes, you were even more tired than before. Your brother wasn’t home yet, which you were grateful for because you knew he’d bombard you with questions about today and if you were going through with the wedding, which you couldn’t handle right now. So, after saying hello to the landlady in the kitchen, you just went up your room and let yourself crash onto your bed.
You felt sleep overtake you, yet suddenly your eyes sprang open, Oh no, the contract!
You hoped Tommy took it with him. He must have, right? You hoped to hear from him tomorrow as you drifted off to sleep for real this time.
The next morning, you didn’t receive any notice you had anyone coming to pick you up or that you had anything to do. Your brother took it upon himself to take you to Lickey Hills Country Park, south west of Birmingham, so you could enjoy some walking in nature. He raved about a tea room there that’s supposed to be really good, so you agreed that a breath of fresh air might do you good.
It was quite an uneventful day for you, but your mind was occupied by the Shelby family, and you thought they would have quite the eventful day. After talking with your brother and walking together for some time, he asked if you wanted a snack. He told you to wait after you agreed and ran back to the car, saying he forgot the small bag with snacks he brought.
You circled the spot you had to wait for him and enjoyed the view of the beautiful park. Suddenly though, you heard your future husband’s name behind the monument you were standing against. You decided to get closer to the cold stone, and tried to listen.
“… trying to do a deal with me? Because if you are you must be explicit.”
A man’s voice, and a woman’s, who could it be?
“I want your word, that Thomas Shelby will not be harmed, if the guns are recovered. …”
Your eyes widened. What are they talking about? Is Tommy in danger?
“… For my sake, will you spare him?”
So, whoever you are, you’re betraying him for his safety?? You’re putting him in danger! You wanted to yell. You suddenly heard them getting up and you contemplated following them. As they passed you, you didn’t seem to recognize the man, the woman on the other hand… you weren’t sure as you saw her from the back. You decided to walk behind them, but on the road parallel to theirs, so hopefully they won’t notice you, and if they did, that they would think you’re just a passerby.
“After… the robbery… burial at St. Andrew’s churchyard.”
You managed to pick up most of it, but were afraid to get closer.
“…Man supposed to be buried, … alive… Arthur is quite transparent. … grave far deeper than your average. … to keep out the damp.”
They suddenly stopped and, in that moment, you didn’t know whether you should keep walking or not, as to not seem suspicious.
“The guns are buried in that grave.”
Your breath hitched, you saw her face, the barmaid from the Garrisson.
“Then tonight we will dig up the grave.”
Out of nowhere you heard your brother calling your name and you spun around and saw him looking for you, so you started walking towards him, hoping you seemed as natural as possible and that they didn’t notice you.
“(Y/N)! Why are you here?” he asked frantically as he ran up to you.
“Sorry, got distracted,” you apologized and he suddenly pulled an umbrella open over you.
“You didn’t even realize it started raining, did you?” he laughed.
“(Y/B/N), we have to go.”
“What? B-but the tea room--”
“Now. Please, I need to see my fiancé,” you pleaded, and he smiled brightly.
“Aw! See I told you—”
“No!” You started walking, “Let’s go! Now!”
“Alright! Alright!” He ran behind you, totally oblivious to what’s happening.
The drive back was nerve wracking; all you could think of was Tommy. You know you decided not to meddle in each other’s affairs, but this was a matter of safety! Besides, you told him you were going to protect him as well. You were embarrassed when you remembered that, the whiskey taking away any filter you might have had. You were thankful he didn’t take it any wrong way though, he would have said something otherwise, right? And suddenly something hit you. She must’ve known about Freddie too. The knot in your stomach twisted even more as Birmingham came into view.
You tried all the places he could be, but seemed to miss him every time. At the betting house they told you to try the docks if he wasn’t home, or the Garrisson, or—you could’ve smacked the man who was telling you about all the places Thomas could be.
After trying all those places, and evening was falling, you and your brother were on your way to the Garrisson. When you were almost there, you saw him. Your brother didn’t manage to stop the car when you saw Thomas about to go into the Garrisson.
“Tommy! Wait!”
“(Y/N)!!!” Your brother panicked as you threw the car door open while the car was still driving.
You stumbled getting out the car and Tommy quickly jogged up towards you, his eyes showing confusion at the state you’re in.
“It’s—” you tried catching your breath, “Tommy, the barmaid, she—”
“You mean Grace?”
“Yes, Tommy, Grace is the one who told the police about Freddie!”
He looked surprised but didn’t say a word.
“She’s also the one who told the police about the guns!”
“…Are you sure?”
“Yes! I saw her talking with an older gentleman! In the park today!”
He became quiet, unsure of the information you’ve just given him, because a part of him didn’t want to believe Grace betrayed him.
“Are you sure it was Grace? And Campbell?” he asked again.
You grabbed his coat, “Tommy, it was Grace, she was talking about St. Andrews churchyard,” you lowered your voice, “the guns are buried in a grave and the police will dig it up tonight. Am I right about the guns being buried?”
Thomas became quiet again, you had information you couldn't have known, only being here a few days. But he knew you were telling the truth, no lies could be found in your eyes, they were brimming with honesty.
His hands moved on top of yours, “Alright,” he paused, “Listen, it’s going to get dangerous around here and I don’t want anything to happen to you, or your brother. Stay low and don’t. Talk. To. Anyone. Understood?”
You nodded, “Will you be okay?”
He didn’t understand why you were worried for someone you’d just met a few days ago, because after all, if something happened to him, you would be free of this marriage.
But instead of saying any of this, or asking why you were worried about him, Tommy just replied, “I will.” You sighed in relief at that and he let go of your hands and you immediately let go of his coat, taking a step back, “Be safe. And don’t come out until I come to get you.”
As you watched him walk into the Garrisson, you turned around and went back into the car. Sitting down and closing the door, you looked at your brother, who scared the shit out of you when you saw his smolder, “What?”
“Lo-o-oveeee~ Is in the air~” he sang and you smacked him at the back of his head.
“Just drive.”
Meanwhile when Thomas walked into the Garrisson, he stood at the entrance of the pub, looking at Grace singing. She looked at him, full of affection. He too looked back at her, but inside of him, a storm was brewing.
Even being optimistic, Y/N Shelby had thought she was in for a rough time after Luca Changretta entered her hotel room and made it clear he knew who she was.
If he didn't kill her, he could torture her for information, threaten the rest of her family, or take her hostage to force her cousins to back down.
He did none of that.
Calling reception, he had tea and biscuits brought up, inviting her to share them like two friends who hadn't seen each other in years. They didn't talk much, though.
Nervous, Y/N preferred to sip her tea as slowly as possible, while Luca stared at her silently, smoking his cigarette. He reminded her of Tommy at that moment, and if things had been different, perhaps the two men could have gotten along well.
"I'm sorry about your cousin John." he finally said, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray in the middle of the table.
"You mean sorry that you killed him ?"
"Yes, since it pains you. He deserved it, he chose his fate, but I'm still sorry for those caught in the middle of this without having asked for anything, just as I imagine you're sorry for my brother and my father."
"Oh. right... I heard what happened. It wasn't deserved, for your brother at least. But after his wife's death, I don't think Thomas could have controlled himself any more."
"I hear that. I understand, yes." Luca sighed, taking another cigarette. "If I had a wife I loved and she was killed, I'd massacre the entire town, innocent or not. What are you doing here, Tesoro ?"
Since lying seemed pointless, even dangerous, Y/N simply replied that her cousin had sent her to keep an eye on them, certain that no one would recognize her. She had changed, a little, perhaps even more beautiful than before, but Luca sighed, saying he would have recognized her anywhere. He hadn't forgotten her.
This remark, and the fact that he was furious that Tommy had dragged her into this vendetta, greatly troubled her. While their meeting had made an impression on her, Y/N had never imagined that the feeling could be mutual.
Once she had finished her tea, he escorted her like a gentleman to one of his cars, ordering his men to drive her home and make sure nothing happened to her, or they would suffer the consequences.
Y/N hesitated before calling her cousin to tell him what had happened. Even though he always sensed when someone was lying to him, she couldn't see how to explain to Thomas that she hadn't said anything, absolutely nothing, that could justify her leaving without any trouble.
Not only did he accept her report, but he didn't seem surprised. On the contrary, Thomas sounded satisfied, as if he had always expected things to turn out this way.
"I don't understand, you said no one would recognize me."
"I said nothing would happen to you. Mr. Changretta clearly always had a soft spot for you when he still lived in England."
"... What ? Wait, what ?"
"Don't worry, Y/N. You've done your part, I'll take care of the rest."
She stared at the receiver for several minutes after he had already hung up, wondering if she had understood correctly what her cousin had said. Not only had Luca Changretta liked her when they were children, but it was obvious to many people, especially her family, while she had never had the slightest suspicion.
If she had known this sooner, she could have called him. Sent him a letter. Tried something, even if it had led nowhere. There was even a chance things would have turned out even worse, given how badly her family disapproved of her dating an Italian.
Now, Grace and John were dead. He had sworn to kill every member of the Peaky Blinders. His mother hated the Shelbys for taking her son and husband. There was no future for them.
And knowing all this, Thomas had sent her to his hotel. To hurt him. To taunt him, to tell him he knew. Y/N wondered if her cousin was aware that he had hurt her too by acting this way, or if he had never noticed that she, too, had feelings. He wasn't stupid, but could he be that cruel ?
"Are you going to kill him ?" she asked, trying to maintain a detached expression, knowing full well that he would see right through her no matter what.
"He didn't really give me a choice. Arthur swore to fire the bullet that would go right through his skull. I don't see how this could end any other way than with one of us dead, and I imagine you don't want me dead, dear cousin."
"You know that's not true. But... there can't be a deal ? An eye for an eye, you know ? There have been losses on both sides, why not stop this madness now ? You're good at talking to people."
"As good as I may be, Mr. Changretta doesn't seem inclined to listen to me."
Y/N said nothing. There was nothing to add that would change the situation. She went home to cry and prepare some black clothes. Whatever the outcome, she would need them. If she didn't often speak to Tommy, it was even rarer for her to have any contact with the rest of the family. Seeing Polly Gray at her door could only be bad news, but she couldn't refuse her entry.
Accepting a cup of tea, the Peaky Blinders' aunt scrutinized her, savoring her cigarette, before offering to read her tea leaves. Y/N didn't believe in such things, but she handed her the cup anyway.
"Hmm. Much suffering, much sorrow. Love too. A choice must be made."
"I've already made my choice, Thomas knows that."
"Shh." said Polly, putting a finger to her lips, smiling. "I also see a wedding. The beginning of a new era."
"Who's getting married ? Tom, Michael, Finn ?"
"You are, you sweet, stupid girl."
"... What ? To whom ?" Y/N panicked, imagining the worst.
"Calm down. You need to look more cheerful. It was difficult to convince Arthur. But he understood it was the best thing to do to avoid bloodshed. You'll also have to convince your fiancé."
Without even asking her opinion, Thomas Shelby called Luca Changretta to make him a proposal, a simple proposal, one he would only make once. If he wished, he could marry his cousin Y/N. She wasn't against it, on the contrary, as he might have sensed when he saw her at the hotel, and there was no denying that he wanted it too. It would unite their families, putting an end to the vendetta.
He had to understand that if he said no, then there was a good chance he would die, of course, but if he managed to kill the Peaky Blinders, Y/N would never agree to marry him, true to her kin. He would have to say goodbye to her.
No doubt he'd battled with his mother for hours on the phone, after battling with himself, torn between his love for his family and the love he'd hidden for years for Y/N, a love he couldn't shake, to the point of not being married at his age. The boy in the alley seemed to have won.
"Principessa." he greeted her almost shyly as she accompanied Thomas to a meeting on neutral ground. "I want to hear it from you. If you were forced, not only would there be no wedding, but that asshole you call a cousin would lose his balls as well as his honor."
"How vulgar in front of a lady." Tommy said, lighting his cigarette, detached, already certain he'd gotten what he wanted.
"I know you, Shelby, I imagine you'd be much worse in front of my poor Tesoro. Tell me, Amore, without any fear. I would never hurt you."
"I had hoped... But I was certain it would never happen. If you want me, Luca, I would be happy to marry you."
"Il mio cuore." Luca purred, taking her hand to kiss it.
As there were always tensions, quite understandable, between the Changrettas and the Shelbys, there was a ceremony in England where the groom was accompanied only by his best men and several bodyguards, and a second one in New York with his family. Y/N was accompanied by Michael and Ada.
For many, it was rather sad, even a bad omen, that the wedding took place on a rainy day.
Not for the bride and groom, because, for one thing, her Aunt Polly always said that a rainy wedding was bound to be a happy one. But above all, Luca was able to admire his wife dancing in the rain, not at all worried about getting her dress dirty and laughing like the wild little girl he had fallen in love with.
It was a shame that so many needless deaths had been necessary for them to be together. But life had found its way back, allowing them to welcome little Angel, sweet John, and adorable Victoria.
I’d love some more family fluff so for the 5 lines:
“Yes, but he’s our idiot.”
For Peaky blinders. Duh. 😘😘
Our Idiot
“Yes, but he’s our idiot,” Clara mocked, the continuation of a back and forth that in truth she was having entirely with herself, taking up both sides of the conversation since she was very much alone in the sitting room beside her older brother’s office.
Clara was alone, but in her mind and her heart, she was back in 1913, back in the kitchen at no. 6 Watery Lane with Polly, Ada, and Greta for company complaining about Tommy.
“A bloody, fucking idiot,” Clara continued grumbling as she came back to herself and picked up her pen, trying to nudge her attention back to the work in front of her.
“Have something to say to me?” Tommy asked, and Clara startled, turning to see her brother had assumed a lordly position in the doorway between his office and the adjoining sitting room, rubbing a cigarette back and forth between his lips as he sought out his lighter from his pocket.
Clara felt a sudden prickling in her eyes, a sudden yearning coming over her. She yearned for the idiot brother Tommy had been back in 1913. She yearned for the home they’d shared together in Small Heath. She yearned for the presence of her aunt and her sister and Greta, She wanted for the family they’d been back then, so close and united—always within punching distance, as Ada liked to say.
The Shelby family was still close enough, Clara supposed, but things weren’t the same as it had once been.
Not with Ada and Karl living in their posh home in Primrose Hill.
Not with Arthur and Linda living in a house off of Stratford Road.
Not with Aunt Polly in her own home in Sutton Coldfield.
And not with Clara out in Warwickshire with Tommy and Grace.
John and Esme and Finn were the only ones who still held any dominion in Small Heath, and Clara knew it was only a matter of time before John and Esme took the kids out to the country, too.
Tommy lit the cigarette and then he stared at a silent Clara as she considered her response, her lips pressed tightly closed to stop her from mouthing off with the first sharp thing that came to mind.
Clara had thought the fact that Grace was away visiting family would be a good thing. She had thought it would be nice, just having her and Tommy at home, almost like a switch would flip and everything would be suddenly fixed, but if anything. Clara had thought Grace’s holiday would result in a fixing of their relationship, but it seemed Tommy had been set on using the time to fix his sister, much to Clara’s chagrin.
“Well?” Tommy prompted when Clara’s quiet held.
Clara huffed, turning to lean over the couch as she faced him. “I just don’t see why I can’t help with the books.”
“It’s John’s responsibility.”
“John’s busy with the new baby,” Clara argued. John was exhausted and overworked and distracted, something which Clara had noticed plainly. He wasn't in a space to be working with numbers or keeping up with responsibilities.
“That’s what his wife is for.”
Clara glared in Tommy's direction, though it seemed to have no particular impact.
Esme’s most recent birth had been a difficult one. She was still recovering. She couldn’t care for the new baby and the kids all on her own. Clara had not been allowed to stay in Small Heath and help. The powers that be had been ever so insistent that she needed to be at school, but Clara had made her way to John and Esme anyhow, ducking Isiah at the conclusion of the school day and making her way across town on her own.
Isiah was good at tracking and finding people, but not nearly as good as his father was, a fact for which Clara was very much grateful. It had allowed her to slip away to spend a few hours with her brother, sister-in-law, and their children. It had allowed her to see how terribly behind John was. It had allowed her to be a help.
Clara had had no illusions that she was getting away with anything in running off to John's. She had known that from the moment she deviated from expectations, Tommy would be aware of what she was doing. He had a way of simply knowing things because he was observant and because people tended to tell him things. Clara had known it was only a matter of time before he’d show up at Watery Lane to take her back to Warwickshire.
She had expected Tommy’s lecture about being where she was meant to be, but Clara had assumed that would be the extent of it. She had thought herself rather clever in sneaking a few ledgers out of the shop and into her school bag. She had intended to fix them up overnight and get them back to John with Tommy none the wiser about who’d done the work. Her bedroom had seemed like a private spot to work on them, but Clara should have known well-enough that Tommy would suspect her.
It certainly wouldn’t be the first time she’d tried to help John out in this way. Clara knew she should have waited until after Tommy went to sleep, but she’d been eager to get it out of the way and that had made her careless. She hadn’t even heard Tommy come up the stairs, unaware until he pushed open her bedroom door and spotted her with the books open on her bed. And that was how she’d ended up in the sitting room with a textbook, working out the equations that hadn’t even been assigned to her by a teacher...all because the stupid lie that had come out of Clara's mouth when she’d been found out was that she was working on her homework.
“That’s what his wife’s for,” Clara mocked with a scoff. “Well, I hope you remember that when your baby is born.” Clara knew it was a bit too smart of a response, teetering on the edge of more trouble than she was probably interested in enduring, but she couldn’t help herself.
“Then that’s what the help is for,” he answered. “John and Esme could’ve had help.”
Clara scoffed again. John and Esme didn’t want help like that and Tommy knew it. They didn’t want strangers in the house looking after their children. They’d welcome family, but no one else.
“I could help them.”
“You have other responsibilities.”
“And I manage them just fine,” she argued. “This is just busy work.” Clara gestured toward the textbook. “A silly punishment when I could be helping with the company.”
“I’ve already told you, you’re not to be helping with that part of the company anymore,” he said, pulling a long drag off his cigarette before he continued. “Finish up your schooling and there’ll be a spot for you under Michael.”
Clara turned away from Tommy at that, focusing her attention back on the equation at hand. She remembered a time when she thought she was Tommy’s right hand. A time when she thought she would be the one managing the books at Shelby Company Ltd. because she was clever and trustworthy and Tommy trusted her, but that had been before Grace. That had been before Michael.
The reminder had Clara enduring a very sudden drop in the pit of her stomach, something she’d been feeling with a certain regularity as of late. She’d felt it when Michael had first come into the picture, the realization that she had to share Aunt Polly’s affections and attentions hurting her in a way that felt rather silly to Clara when she thought of it.
And she’d felt it again when Grace returned, when Tommy told her about the baby. Again, Clara had felt silly and ashamed, but she couldn’t help it. She could help but feel like she was being replaced, pushed aside.
John’s kids had never made her feel that way, maybe because John’s heart had always seemed to just grow a bit bigger when another child was born. Even though he and Esme were exhausted and occupied, she’d sensed no difference in their treatment of her, and if anything, they seemed more grateful for Clara with each child that was born. More happy to see her.
Polly hadn't really done anything to make Clara feel she thought of her less. Tommy hadn't really, either, but Clara still couldn't escape the thoughts, drawing her conclusions as people changed around her, whether the changes were to do with her or not.
Clara didn’t bother arguing with Tommy any further about her helping with the company. By now, it was a tired argument and she knew it wasn’t a worthwhile endeavor. Clara was suddenly feeling very tired of fighting him. She’d much rather deal with her equations, so she focused her attention there until she heard Tommy push off from the door frame and retreat into his office, leaving her alone.
—
Clara didn’t remember falling asleep, but the room was dark when she woke up sprawled on the couch, a blanket on top of her and her textbook still open on the coffee table. There was a light on in Tommy’s office still, but Clara had the feeling it was rather late, or perhaps rather early.
She stood up and quietly walked to the door, peering in to see Tommy at his desk, his attention on the ledger in front of him. It was one of the ledgers Clara had taken from the betting shop. One of the ledgers Tommy had insisted was John’s responsibility.
Tommy glanced up at his sister then. Clara was wrapped in a blanket and had a knowing look on her face as she met his gaze. “I thought those books were John’s responsibility?”
“They are,” Tommy answered, and Clara rather quickly realized she wouldn’t get more out of him than that. Clara didn’t particularly need more than that, his actions communicating what Clara knew Tommy wouldn't say aloud. He had insisted she wasn’t to help John with the books, but he’d gone ahead and done it himself anyhow.
"You should head up to bed," Tommy said as Clara came into the room, but Clara ignored him, settling herself on the sofa instead.
Clara knew her brother wouldn't actually send her off to bed, just as she knew he would have whoever met her after school bring her round to help John and Esme because at the end of the day, Clara's brother was a bit of an idiot, but he was their idiot. Her idiot.
