Discover Top Posts Tagged with #gray sexuality

Demisexuals, help a girl out!

I’m in my twenties. It feels like I should know this by now. But I don’t. I don’t know if I’m perhaps demisexual?

In the recent year I have reflected more and more on the fact that I don’t seem to experience sexual attraction in the same way as my friends. It’s not that I never feel sexual attraction, it’s just different. I mean, I have always kind of known that I’m bi, but at the same time I’m almost never attracted to anyone, no matter the gender. Never in my life have I met a stranger and been sexually attracted to them. I’ve only ever been in one relationship in my life, and then I felt sexual attraction - but I mean, I was in love with her!And I think I felt romantic attraction before I felt any sexual attraction. But I’m so rarely in love that it’s difficult for me to tell if that’s always the case!

I’ve had one night stands, though. I have dated and had sex with people I don’t really know. But I’ve still never felt sexual attraction? I have never actually enjoyed that sex. I’ve just had it because other person wanted to, and it felt expected of me. So, the only time I’ve actually enjoyed sex, was in my only romantic relationship. But then, there’s also masturbation. Which I do. So, I don’t know where that leaves me.

And then there’s the question of celebrity crushes. Because I’ve had them. And then I’ve felt sexual attraction (and so, i have never even pondered the idea of being demi before). But, this attraction hasn’t been based on that these celebrities are “hot” or something like that. I’ve mainly had crushes on actors (and book characters!) that play parts that I kinda fall in love with a little bit.

So. I don’t know. Am I demisexual or do I just happen to not feel very much sexual attraction? Any demisexuals that have similar experiences? Or other experiences? Am I just generally confused? I’d be soooo grateful for answers!

#demisexual #demi #Demisexuality #sexuality #ace #asexual #asexuality #gray sexuality #ace spectrum #ace pride #lgbtq

I don't feel like I can say anything about it. It could have been so much worse. I could have been raped or otherwise physically violated, but that isn't my story. How am I supposed to explain that I don't feel emotionally safe around anyone who is romantically interested in me? That the thought of someone liking me like that fills me with dread?

That I don't mind hands holding, shoulders brushing, foreheads touching -- those I crave -- But that the thought of kissing, sharing fluids in some way or another just makes me shut down.

It's not sex that bothers me... I don't think? I understand pleasure, I understand attraction. But everything else that surrounds an intimate relationship as an adult... The idea that every romantic relationship around revolves it at my age...

I just can't be comfortable with that.

But it's not like I can say that and expect understanding.

#grey sexuality #gray sexuality #ace spectrum

Painted my nails to match my sexuality

#grey sexuality #Gray Sexuality

being gray-sexual is so weird. bc most of the time im fairly sex-neutral where i don’t really care one way or the other about sex or in fact i’ll be pretty indifferent towards it (i feel this is my default state bc this i how i feel most often) and this can last for months. occasionally i can be sex-negative where i can’t even think about sex without being repulsed and this can last for weeks. but sometimes i can be sex-positive where im almost hyper-sexual and it’s all i can think about and i’m actively trying to get laid and this can last for a couple weeks too but this happens a lot less frequently (thank god).

but then at the same time i feel that this is how most people feel? no one really cares about sex as much as they say they do?? and then also i’m not sure how much the ‘gray’ part is a part of my natural sexuality or if it’s because of my depression that lowers my energy and all that. or if it even matters that it’s not because even if it was my mental illness affecting my sexuality it would still be valid regardless… and i’m still not sure if i can settle on gray sexual or just call my self asexual and be done with it since it’s so fluid…

#idek why im talking about this #gray sexuality #personal

It honestly blows my mind how misinformed and ignorant people are about asexuality and the gray area. Literally, use a fucking search engine. Talk to an asexual. Go onto AVEN. That's all it takes. It's like they refuse to believe that it's actually a thing. It's like they think every ace on this earth will suddenly say "oh, x said my identity was fake, so therefore it must be". Lol it doesn't work that way..? How close minded must one be to refuse the concept of something that they haven't so much as researched?

#asexuality #demisexuality #gray sexuality #wh0t

Gray ace problems #10

Dropping the “gray” part of “gray asexual” when you come out because it’s difficult enough already to explain asexuality.

#gray asexual #gray ace #gray asexuality #gray sexuality #gray a #gray ace problems #asexual #asexuality #ace

Constant reminders

Do you ever forget you’re on the ace spectrum? Like you just don’t think much of it and then there’s a reminder that makes you like “hah I’m so ace” like if your friend is talking about how romantically attracted she is to her crush and you’re like “mm yeah I feel you” and then she’s like “I just wanna have sex with him so bad!” and you’re like “mm I no longer feel you”.