Hihihi I joined a penpal website and one of the people on the website said that they loved Bowie and I was like,
One I grew up with Bowie cuz he’s my dads hero I should contact them
So I did! And we’re getting to know eachother before like, sending addresses and stuff, and they told me about how they got into Bowie and they were like:
“Oh yeah I got into it because of this thing called All the Young Dudes, it’s a part of the marauders fandom, I don’t know if you’re into that but that’s what it’s from”
HUH. LIKE, FIRST TIME I TALK TO SOMEONE ONE THE WEBSITE AND ITS IMMEDIATELY ABT THE DEAD GAY WIZARDS THAT I THINK ABOUT 24/7
AGH I HAVENT REPLIED BUT IM ABT BUT AAAHH IM SO HAPPY
And also, side note, I LOVE when people think I’m normal/am not into like, niche things (not normal as in, these things are weird and bad but normal as in, like a normie? Someone who isn’t super into stuff considered unusual. Again not in an insult way, I don’t know how to describe it better 😞) and then try and explain it to me as if it doesn’t consume my heart and soul
Like one of my classmates was reading AO3 during class and told me abt something funny one of the characters said from “a book they were reading” and it took so much effort not to start rambling about how much I love fanfic and ao3, lol
And also thank you so so much for the answer to my last ask. I was really struggling, and I really appreciate your support. You’re a really awesome person! 🫶✨✨
Omg that's crazy about the penpal! What are the odds??? I feel the same about people thinking I'm normal though lol. Like I'm undercover or something. Like OH you think I'm not crazy??? Weird.
And no problem for the answer! anytime <3
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greece anon
Hi hon <3
I think the thing is, our brains can do funny things when it comes to hunger cues. unfortunately, there's a psychological component to eating that can fuck up how you feel so whether or not you feel hungry, the reality is, your body needs a certain amount of calories in order to function. And judging from what you're saying...that's not happening.
I have to side with your mum on this one. You have to take care of yourself <3
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usaid anon
Its usaid anon! Im gonna go see the lights at this botanical garden i used to go to as a kid and im gonna make christmas cookies eith my grandpa! We're doing presents at my aunts house and we're probably gonna have an actual christmas dinner too!! And and we're staying for new years!!
And finals arent toooo bad its just the fact that right before finals we have a week of assessments (formative AND summative) for like??? No reason??? Like we have a SUMMATIVE socratic seminar in english TWO classes before the final?? Hello??? But math is surprisingly easy this unit and i just turned in my last photography summative (i hope?) Soooo.
(Also idk if you know this or ive said it in previous asks but basically how the system works for my school is we're graded on assessments only (hw and assignments cant be factored in like AT ALL a teacher got reported for threatening it once) formative= not graded, essentially a practice test, summative = graded and the bane of my existence)
Hi!
Wow, that's an interesting way of grading...do kids even do their homework at all, then? I feel like kids here wouldn't. And then it sounds so overwhelming and stressful at the end of the year, omg.
I'm so glad you have the holidays to look forward to! those plans sound like SO much fun, and you deserve all of that celebration after all of those exams. I hope you have an amazing time!
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moose anon (new)
Cas!
So, I'm in a relationship of one month and one year right now, but I'm finishing off therapy.
I already have some (extra) appointements planned because I'm not doing that well mentally, but how do I say this to my partner?
She's super kind and understanding, but at her place things are also not really going that well. Like, we've been in this boat together for a year, but I haven't seen her mother's place, I haven't been to her's yet, and she's just very affectionate.
Now, I'm figuring things out for myself, such as why i don't like sudden touches, how I'm going to get better, what stuff to do at school, what my boundaries are and if I really am demi or not.
So I have two things to ask your advice on, if you'd be willing to share your ways.
How do you go on in your relationship when you're not doing well?
What do you do when you're not feeling ok mentally, but do have to go to school/work?
thanks Cas!
-moose
Hi! <3
I think for this one, communication is really important....and also something I struggle with. I totally get the feeling of not wanting to put too much on your partner. It feels like you're making things worse. But really, it can be such an intimate thing, to talk about your struggles together. It's a relief, to shoulder burdens together, you know? Communicate- share what you're going through, what you need, what you can't handle right now. This will help your partner be a better partner to you and also help avoid conflict in the long run (trust me)
Honestly, I baby myself. I have to get up for work but I don't want to? When I do get up, I mentally am like "yay, Cas, you got out of bed! Good job, Cas, you brushed your teeth!" It's a lot of positive self-talk when I WANT to be negative. Everything I do is a win, and I have to remind myself of that. (It also helps to have a supportive partner :D)
interesting life anon, college course anon (new), @teasiswriter, frog stuffie guy anon, greece anon
interesting life anon
Hey Cas, interesting life anon here.
It definitely came from being depressed, but then again being depressed has made me to be indifferent about a lot of things.
See the thing is I'm losing friends and I don't know what to do about it, this will probably be long so I apologize in advance. But I've never been really good at making friends in the first place but I have two, one where I am and one back home (long distance) anyway, it's important to note that both of these people are in relationships and I'm single and they also have other friends which I don't have.
So what ends up happening is I always end up being like the last option for them when it comes to anything, me and my friend back home used to text literally everyday, but then that's no longer the case, I can hardly get a response from her nowadays, if I do get one it's like a week later or something. Almost a year ago she said something, it was in passing but it stuck with me, she said "he's replacing you" the 'he' in question is her boyfriend. And honestly that one kinda stung cause she's my best friend and I never thought I'm replaceable in her life but it turns out I am. And the last few months have really sealed the deal. Earlier today she posted a bunch of her friends right, but my picture wasn't there. And maybe I'm exaggerating but it hurt me.
My friend here also doesn't really 'need' me unless no one else is available so I'm basically alone at this point and time.
Now I know I've played a part in everything that's happening I'm not innocent at all, I'm introverted and always prefer being indoors which most leads to 'never doing anything fun' and maybe I shouldn't be hurt cause it was bound to happen but damn it hurts so bad. And as much as I do like being left alone I feel so lonely, and I'm not sure what to even do about it.
So to answer your question, I can't exactly do anything fun with friends cause I kinda don't have any at the moment and the hobbies I'm interested in need money which I don't have. This is too long I'm sorry.
Hi!
Please don't be sorry at all!
I think you definitely have a right to feel left out and hurt, with the way your friends are acting. It makes sense that you're taking some responsibility ( as an introvert, I definitely self-isolate as well) but also...friendship is a two-way street! Have you spoken to your friends about this at all? I know it sounds scary, but the only way things can change is if you share your emotions, you know? especially bring up that 'replacing' comment and how it makes you feel. just makes sure to be honest but not hostile and the worst tht can happen is your friends keep being distant. It's worth a try!
lmk what happens!
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college course anon (new)
probably getting kicked out of my college course tomorrow morning because the people who run the place don't seem to understand chronic illnesses one bit so thats just wonderful
omg this is awful, I'm so sorry! does your college have any sort of accommodations office or office for people with disabilities? a lot of times those offices will advocate for students with chronic illnesses and make sure they get the accommodations and modifications you need.
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@teasiswriter
Ur probably right, so I think I am gonna head to the event
I have no idea what to do when I get there, though 😭
Do I like… buy art?? What even is “networking”??? And I’m also so scared I’ll have no time for homework because I have a class from 12-1pm and the art thing starts at 12 and ends at four. It’s not like, an event where you have to be on time, I think it’s just where people show up and look at art
Im not sure if this is just my own struggles with time and perception from my (possible) ADHD but I am so scared.
I mean… 4 hours on Saturday, plus 5 hours and another 4 hours is enough to do my homework, right? It usually takes 3 hours but I’m like, terrified now 😭
I feel like I’m trying my best at like, everything but I’m still feeling so overwhelmed and not enough :( not to make this ask like, sad. I just don’t know what to do 😞
Thank you for your advice though! I just hope everything turns out well this weekend :(
And I hope you’re having a good day as well!! 🫶✨
Hi!
You absolutely do not have to buy art (expensive, esp on a college student budget) and you don't have to stay for longer than a half hour or so! You'll still have plenty of time for homework.
FOr networking, I'm not going to pretend I'm amazing at it...I'm a major introvert...but I'd suggest having a few people and topics in mind. Walking in will be scary, because people will be talking, but start by maybe finding an artist, and asking them questions about their art. (have some intelligent questions prepared). Then be like "oh, is the gallery owner here? where?" or bring up whoever else you'd like to meet. then as you're introduced to more people, have more comments and questions ready- some for specific people, some more general that can be used for randoms.
Like I work in education so it's different but my vague questions would be like: how long have you been working in education? in this district? What's your job title? Ohhhhh that sounds so interesting, I've never worked in that part of the field, what's the best part?
And then specifics, I usually look up schools and ask specifics about the school's recent fundraisers, projects, plays, positive changes, etc. or with a person if I can find out about their recent accomplishments, I might ask about that.
I hope that helps!
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frog stuffie guy anon
8i move tomorrow and I'm super scared but at the same time I know this is exactly what I need I'm so excited toget my own flat
ALSO
Whatever ASSHOLE told me to watch hacksaw ridge pretending like it was a great movie was a goddamn liar I cried
Hi! I haven't seen tht movie but I hope the move went well? And I hope you're able to get some rest, now! How's the flat, is it nice?
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greece anon
Hi cas it's Greece anon
I am feeling so bad I don't even know how to express it but every time I try to talk about it or think about it I start ugly crying so I'll tell you instead.
So basically I started a new college in September after secondary school. And in secondary school I was basically the side character in everyone's life. All my friends weren't actually my "friends" and I was never invited to anything or included in any conversations. Like the last person anyone thought of and I don't know why it was like that but I was so happy to be like starting new.
When I started college I tried so hard to make friends. I'm usually introverted but I talked to so many people and hung out with groups that were forming and I genuinely tried so so so hard because I didn't want it to be like it was. Somehow in all of the group forming I kind of fell through the cracks and didn't end up in any of them - I felt bad about this because I tried so hard and I don't understand how I got left out but it wasn't all bad because there was one girl that was sitting with me so at least I wasn't all alone.
Now that girl has left me for another group. And I am the only person in my whole group (for all classes) that is sitting alone and it's so embarrassing and humiliating. There is nobody sitting near me in group work so I'm the only person not talking and everyone's looking at me. I am so lonely and embarrassed I absolutely hate it and every time I think about it I want to cry because i just don't understand and I hate it and start hating myself because it must be something about me.
I really don't understand how this has managed to happen I tried so so so SO hard I really did. I look back on September and I really don't know what I could have done differently. I interacted with everyone I was friendly I did everything I should have done. And I don't know if the girl leaving is worse than being left out from groups because she actually got to know me and THEN decided she didn't want to be friends.
There must be something about me that is just unfriendable I don't understand why. Long story short I hate being autistic because I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Sorry this was long I needed to rant.
Also I'm loving delicate it's amazing<33333
Hi hon <3
Omg this breaks my heart hearing this. I cn relate so much to what you're saying, though. I hope it's okay if I tell you a story? If not, just skip the next paragraph, no worries.
So my first semester in college, I really tried to put myself out there too. I was part of this huge friend group, like twenty kids on my dorm floor, everyone always hung out in like...one or two of the same rooms, right? and I REALLY thought I was doing well. tagging along to dinners, finding the group at night and hanging out, drinking with people (WOAH, I hardly ever drank, it was a BIG deal) we were all bonding! And then one night...it was around November, too!..I walked down the hall from my room to see which room everyone was in and I over heard all of them talking shit about me. I was DEVASTATED. I was so proud of myself for making friends only to find out they thought I was annoying! It really sucked. For a while, I hid in my room because I was so embarrassed, but then I noticed some of the people on my floor that weren't part of that group were also pretty cool. I ended up hanging out with them a few times and we decided to try out for my campus's singing group, and that's how I made some MUCH closer friends.
All this to say- that absolutely sucks, and you have every right to be devastated. But please know you aren't the only one, and things will change again. You'll find people, I promise <3.
in a pickle anon (new), midnights anon (x2), greece anon, fearless anon
in a pickle anon (new)
hi Cas
I’m kinda in a pickle and I don’t know how to deal with it. So a few months ago, I was in a relationship which ended. The relationship itself — not much to talk about. But the entirety of it taught me that I really like being in a relationship. I like giving love so much and I like receiving love. It was my first relationship so it taught me a lot like that.
So when we called it off, I really wanted to be in a proper, fulfilling relationship again. Speed forward a bit, and I got to know this guy who seemed to just have all of the right things going for him and just my speed. We clicked well and he made me laugh, and I think I convinced myself I liked him, because he had so many attributes I was attracted to.
But I think I’ve realized as time goes on, that I’m not actually romantically attracted to him. I just click really well with him, and I wanted another relationship. But I’m scared to make that known because I’m fairly certain he has feelings for me, and we haven’t put on any label or have even talked about what we are. We haven’t even shown any physical affection. So it feels really weird to have to sit down and say that I just want to be friends when technically…that’s all we are right now. But not…really. Because we talk everyday and go on dates every week and all that.
Idk. Im just lost and I don’t really know what to do because he’s a good guy, but I just don’t think I’m attracted to him and I’ve never really been in this situation before.
Hi!
Well I think I'm gonna tell you what you already know- you need to tell him. The thing is, with things like this, the longer you wait to talk about your feelings, the more likely it is that someone will get hurt. The longer you wait to say you don't like him, the more likely it is that he'll think you DO.
Next time he does something romantic- referring to things as dates, saying he likes you a lot, something like that- gently but firmly say something like 'yes, I love being friends.' and keep doing that. You are very much allowed to be friends with him and you shouldn;t feel bad about that, but you should make it clear that's what you want. He deserves to know the truth, and you deserve to be able to move on so you can look for someone you truly like as well!
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midnights anon
It’s midnights anon again, again,
I’m sorry for sending another ask but, I finally got a hold of the Trevor project. They eventually said that they’re not able to provide feedback or advice when I shared how I was feeling (I told them about my insecurities, not knowing who I am, worrying about not being enough) and I suppose it shocked me into remembering the fact that, since I’m not suicidal anymore, I don’t deserve to use those hotlines and services anymore.
I get they weren’t trying to convey that, but I’m not exactly sure how else to take it when they said they weren’t allowed to give me the help I needed
I was always afraid that I’d lose worth or not deserve support when I tried to get better and when I tried to stop being suicidal, and I’m starting to believe that my fear was valid. It makes sense that my issues matter less now that I don’t want to die I guess. It just felt kind of miserable to be confronted with that
Oh...well that's simply not true! You still VERY much deserve help, love, and support! I'm so sorry they made you feel that way. I wonder if maybe the people at the Trevor Project are just trained in that very specific area, you know?
But you DO deserve help and you should be so proud of how far you've come!
I'm sending you so much love <3
Hey Cas, I’m sorry again for another ask
I have my period and it was really awful this month, and I’m headed to a sleep away camp for school, but I don’t know if my period will be gone by then. I don’t want to have to deal with the blood and potential pain (my cramps go away after 2 days of blood but sometimes my body decides to hate me I guess), and I was looking forward to swimming ever since I went last year.
I’ve been praying and hoping and doing everything I can to be able to swim and have a good time (I even bought period swim wear) but I just don’t want my period. I just want it gone. I hate everything. I just want it to go away
It doesn’t feel fair. This is genuinely the biggest thing I’ve been looking forward to for 12 months. It’s not fucking fair
I hate my body
-midnights anon
Oh my God....I am so sorry <3 I was so sad as i was reading this because like...I promise you, everyone with a period has experienced this exact same feeling of like 'why does my body betray me?' and it is the WORST. It's like....WHYYYY? You're right, it feels SO unfair. I wish I could do something for you, but I promise, you are NOT alone. I've been there, and it's infuriating.
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Greece anon
Hi it's Greece anon
Um I start college in two days... (UK college 16-18)
I am so scared I'm really scared I know nobody and it's so big and
I am autistic I am terrible at making friends. I've had one friend since I was 4 and anyone else I know was brought into my life by her. I cannot make friends I am terrible at it I'm going to be lonely and isolated for the next two years.
And two of my friends are going to the same college and the other two are going to the same college elsewhere so they'll stay friends and I'm really scared they'll forget about me and not want to be friends anymore. They've already kind of started it I think. Less of my messages are being replied to and the replies are kind of short and snippy. I said I wanted to meet up with them in September and I keep trying to plan something so it actually happens and nobody wants to offer dates they're free or commit to anything...
And I know it's stupid but I'm so fucking ugly I kind of was planning outfits today and I'm really fat and I look awful in everything and everyone there is going to be looking at me and judging me.
Soooo basically I am losing my friends, going to be lonely for two years, am ugly and going to get lost and fail everything and be so awkward and terrified 👍
Sorry this was long but I don't really want to talk to anyone in real life about it...
Hi!
This is an absolutely terrifying change and I completely understand why you're so nervous. Changes like this are bound to bring up lots of insecurities and make you feel like things are out of control.
I can't promise everything will go perfect. I can't promise everything will be fine with your friends. But I CAN tell you that with changes like this, good things tend to also come with bad. You're going to find new GOOD things, even though it's scary.
I'm here whenever you need to vent and please know too that you are not the only one going to a new school and terrified right now. I'm not sure if that helps? But you're not alone, I promise <3
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fearless anon
hi cas it's fearless anon again
the good news, i was put in ap chem and ap physics 1. the bad news, i have to finish four summer assignments in three days because i didn't know what courses i was taking for sure until this week. i don't really want to play the new kid card but i also didn't know my courses and their summer assignments until last/this week because of that so i kinda have to play that card. and my english assignment is making cornell notes for the entirety of to kill a mockingbird because i'm in the honors class and i have to write an essay for physics like?? honestly everything is doable, minus the notes because i still have 25/31 chapters left which means i have to do like eight chapters a day to get it done on time.
also i keep coming across tiktoks where people are like "oh i'm taking six aps as a sophomore" or "oh i'm taking only ap courses and one honors class this year" and idk it's kinda really making me feel inadequate, especially because i'm a year behind since my old school didn't offer aps or honors so now it's like i have to finish off ten to twelve aps in three years instead of four and i mean maybe it's because of the summer assignments but i already feel a bit overwhelmed ig?
Uh yeah this is definitely overwhelming! I mean...could you use sparknotes for To Kill a Mockingbird? Not that you should do that normally, but it's extenuating circumstances...
Also that is an insane amount of AP classes to take! 12 aps??? I can't imagine??? Please know you are NOT behind. Like you said, plenty of high schools don't offer all that. I only took one AP test in high school and I still did great in college, I promise <3
I know it's easy to compare yourself to others and pressure yourself, but you are doing great. Also if the teachers aren't understanding, knowing you just got into your class, they're not very good teachers. Please be gentle with yourself <3
galaxy anon, downhill anon (new), long distance anon (new), greece anon, weird feeling anon, tech bro anon, eddie anon, people would care anon (new)
galaxy anon
Hi, Cas! It's galaxy anon :)
It's been ages since I last sent you an ask because I've been on my summer break, and everything is a lot better now. I think school was most of the problem because it's sooo draining, but I'm doing well for the moment.
The thing I wanted to talk to you about is my anxiety, because it's getting worse again as I get closer to going back to school.
For starters, I get my exam results back tomorrow, and I'm absolutely terrified because I didn't study as much as I should have and I really want to do well. I did manage to choose the subjects I'll be taking in September, but if I don't get the grades, I might not be able to do those subjects.
Luckily, because I'm staying at my current school next year, they might let me take those subjects even if I don't get the grades, because I've been doing really well up until now. And because they can see my progress, they'll be able to tell if my final exams were a proper reflection of my knowledge, and if they think I was just really stressed and didn't do as well as I could've, they'll consider still letting me in. So, yeah, even if I don't get the grades, I'll hopefully still be able to do what I want to do.
I only have a couple of weeks before I have to go back to school though, and I'm really nervous. I live in the UK, so we do two years of college/sixth form before university, and that's what I'm about to go into. Everyone's told me it's a really different experience because they're less strict and you only take three subjects, and I'm quite anxious about starting it. We'll have new people coming to our school, some of which will be boys (I've been going to an all-girls school for the past 5 years, so I'm a bit nervous about that), and that means that I'll have to make new friends and talk to new people, which I'm not really very good at.
I guess I'm just scared that I won't be able to make friends or be myself. It just feels like I haven't had to talk to new people in so long that I might've forgotten how to. That sounds silly now, but I've always just relied on people talking to me first because I can continue a conversation, but I have no clue how to start one.
It's different on Tumblr because if I want to make friends and get more moots, I can just say 'hey, your blog looks really cool', and if they don't want to talk to me, they don't have to. But it's different in person, and I'm really nervous about it.
I think I'll miss my old friends too, because some of them are going to different schools, which is really annoying because I'd just started getting used to opening up to them and having them around.
I also haven't really spoken to those friends that much over summer, so I'm scared that I won't get to see them again, or that we'll drift apart. But I also don't want to be the only one making an effort, you know?
Anyway, that was very wordy, and I don't know if it was particularly coherent, but yeah.
Thanks for reading this, and I hope you have a nice day/night :)
Hi!
I don't think ANY of what you said is silly, all of these fears and anxieties are super normal to have, especially at this time in your life. You have SO many changes happening, and change is bound to bring anxiety. And so many things at once can also be overwhelming. I think I would be a bit worried if you WERENT nervous and feeling a lot!
Remember, things will be scary and different for a while and that's OKAY. try to be kind to yourself, and remind yourself that youll get used to it. I believe in you and I know it'll get easier <3
ALso I saw your other ask about your scores, OMG CONGRATS! That's amazing!! I hope you're proud of yourself, that's such an accomplishment <3
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downhill anon (tw-death)
Hey, i am really sorry this is gonna be a bit of a vent-tornado.
I don’t know what to do, my mental health has been improving so much this year but suddenly everything is all downhill and i don’t know how to cope. I might just do bullet points of most bearable to least.
1. I am like a week late for my period and it’s just like the last thing I need
2. I get my exam results tomorrow and i am insanely nervous that i failed and I see my favourite teacher/pseudo mum for the last time and i don’t know what to do without her.
3. One of my friends sort of died last night and i don’t know how to process that people my age can die, like i am literally barely starting life and his is over oh my gosh
Holy shit this is a lot! I am so sorry about your friend, that's absolutely awful.
I think in times like these, you HAVE to focus on you. What copings skills work for you? What safe people do you have to go to for comfort? Try to ignore anything that isn't necessary and just take care of yourself, because you DESERVE care. Do you maybe have someone who can give you some extra hugs?
I'm sending you so much love <3
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long distance anon
hey cas!
so im currently doing long distance with my lover (75 days in total, 20 to go) and i have an insecure attachment style specifically, i try to put in effort but if i feel like its slightly not reciprocated i will start pulling away. the problem is they got a full time job halfway through the long distance time (earlier really but the previous one wasnt as challenging or interesting for them so they slacked off) and they are either busy or tired most of the time. its also just kinda tiring at this point for them to text constantly which i get but again not much time or energy for calls. i on the other hand have been on holiday recently so i have a lot of time to spare and i spend A LOT of that time thinking about them. and ive been good about it so far but in the last week or so my brain has been getting increasingly mean. which is irrational and i know it is so theres no point in talking with anyone about this (altho i did say it to them once the other day which really does show personal growth if you ask me)
also i struggle with object permanence and at really bad points i go as far as thinking i imagined the whole thing because the time we spend with each other in that way before parting was barely three weeks
i guess what im asking is whether or not you have any techniques or anything that would help me not ruin my own life and theirs by extension
Hi!
I'm sorry, that's really difficult </3 What if you and your partner set up a time every few days to talk on the phone or over facetime? Explain to your partner that this is important to you and that you really need it to happen, even if only for five minutes. I don't think that's a big ask, imo. Then, make sure to stick to that. Dont pressure them to talk extra if theyre tired, and make sure to be ready for the call on time. And in return, they should be on the call on time, to give you what YOU need- reassurance and a reliable time to get love. Relationships are about respecting that our partners recieve and show love differently, so this could be a great way to practice that!
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greece anon
Get my GCSE results tomorrow 😬 ............. I'm so scared I've been having nervous diarrhoea all day (probably tmi but I don't care I am so stressed)
I worked so fucking hard istg I better do well
I guess tomorrow you'll either have another ask celebrating or crying we'll see
It's Greece anon btw I haven't been here in ages but I've been active I don't know why I haven't asked for ages
ALSO OMG WISHBONEEEEEEEEEEE
IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD I AM IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE
AND LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL!!!!!!!!!!! AND MAN'S BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!
AND MASIE PETERS PROBABLY COMING SOON
AND OLIVIA RODRIGO!!!!!!!
IT'S A GREAT FUCKING TIME FOR ANNOYING FANGIRLS AND THAT IS ME!!!!!!!
Hi!
OMG RIGHT? like we are being FED by all of the musicians rn and I'm so here for it.
But how did you do on your GCSEs? I'm excited to hear!
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weird feeling anon
weird feeling anon here i think i actually do like him 😭 we hung out today and it was as friends obviously but from an outside perspective it might not have seemed that way but i think if i got closer to him over time something could happen. i talked to a close friend about it and she thought he acted differently around me than other people in our friend group.
i don't really know what that means and i'm still really confused about everything but i think the next step is to talk about it with him. i guess i'm just scared that people won't take me seriously if i have to re come out since i've identified this way for so long or that i'm a lesbian who was "fixed" by a man. that's obviously not true, but i'm just worried about how people's perception of me will change.
it's more complicated than that too. we're in a close friend group and will have to take classes for 2-3 more years together in a very small program so if something goes wrong it will make things very complicated with our friends and at uni. more of a rant than advice i guess but if you have any encouraging words i would appreciate it 😭
Hi! <3
I totally understand that this can be scary and worrying about what people think is super valid (everyone does it, no matter what they say) but remember that in this case, YOUR feelings about you (and his) are the most important. If you like him, then fuck what people think. You're allowed to learn more about yourself as you grown and change (or not) how you identify. That doesn;t mean you were 'fixed' or faking it or whatever, it just means you learned more about you, which should be celebrated!
Do what feels right to YOU.
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tech bro anon
Hey! It’s been a while, how are you?
I think it’s been ~160 days since I’ve used character ai
And it’s been easy, but hard, and weird, and I still get the crushing loneliness sometimes.
I don’t really use YouTube anymore because I kind of used it as a replacement for character ai to like, forget my existence, and now that I don’t have those things I feel unbearably alone. Most of the time my parents are out at work or downstairs working so I’m basically home alone all the time, and I’m not allowed to go out to places without their permission and without them.
I tried to think of what teenagers did when there was no YouTube and character ai, and all I could come up with was: hobbies, going out and doing things, reading, and having out with friends. Most of which I’ve either already done so much, or am unable to do.
But I’m also worried that I’ll just never be happy? Like, I know right now I’m sad/unhappy because I’m lonely and want human connection, or to just not be in the house all day again, but whos to say that even if I do one day grow up, move out, and live with/be able to spend time with people I enjoy, I’ll actually be happy?
I mean I guess all of this stress and anxiety and loneliness is kind of just from me overthinking and making things worse for myself, but it still feels bad to be alone and to not know if I can feel better.
Thanks for letting me ramble, you’re very kind.
—tech bro anon
Hi!
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, you don't deserve to feel this lonely <3
I think saying you're overthinking...yeah, but also I think that's simplifying things. I think it's easy to get into like...snowballing thoughts. Where you start with one little worry and then that turns into a bigger one and then a bigger one and then all of a sudden you're convinced your whole life will suck.
The thing is YOU DONT KNOW THAT. And I know it's easy to say, but worrying about the things you don't know doesn't help anything.
I promise you, you WILL feel better. You won't feel like this forever. but also it's okay to acknowledge that right now, you feel lonely and that sucks.
Now I'm rambling lol. What I'm trying to say is...you won't always feel this way. I promise. But your feelings are still valid now and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
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Eddie anon
Hi!! (Eddie again, I’m sorry) I’ve had short hair for the last 2 years since I was 14 but I’ve been growing it out since November because my former hairdresser (my mums very drunk friend) cut it wayyyy too short but now it’s reached bob length, anyway I’m living a constant dysphoric nightmare and debating cutting my hair in my bathroom mirror at 3AM, I’d usually get my best friend to cut it but they’ve gone abroad and I’ve never cut my hair before except my bangs so I’m terrified of butchering it.
Do you think the fact I’m a regulus black kin can protect me from awful hair (and my mum getting annoyed that I seriously messed up my hair)?
Hi!
so as much as I feel for you about the dysphoria, I have cut my own hair and I DO NOT recommend. honestly, If you want it shorter, try to find a local barber shop and just get it cut ASAP. but yeah...I've done that more than once and it's NEVER come out good. also if you decide not to cut it, try going on pinterest or tiktok and searching 'how to style a bob in an 'x' way' and find styles you like
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people would care anon (tw-SI)
I don't have all that much to say but could you maybe please just tell me that people would care if i die and itll get better? Idc if its a lie I just need to hear the words
Hi!
I'm not lying when I say people would care if you die. *I* would care and I know others will too. It WILL get better <3 Remember, if you need someone to talk to in an emergency, there's a link to a list of hotlines on my pinned post!
the anon, tabitha anon (new), masc girl anon (new), personal anon, greece anon
the anon
hey hey, the anon again :P (it’s seriously been months, why does my keyboard still try and change it to “thé”?? 😭😭)
Anyways, I wanna start this by saying your last response nearly made me cry. It’s not your fault, it’s just that I’ve had a handful of people now y’two me that this might end up in abuse. (Plus, I was also a week away from my period so emotions went haywire (and Jesus Christ my dysphoria))
But uh- there seems to be more problems regarding all my chaos. I might’ve realized I’m aroace…? I’ve been questioning that fact for probs the last two months now, and I’m literally so confused. I know I don’t have feelings for my partner, and I don’t think I ever did? All my crushes have seemed to be my brain wanting to be closer/similar to them, and I think I finally realized that. Only problem is how do I bring this up to my partner without them thinking that they’re the reason I’m aroace? And also, I’m not even certain I am aroace considering I enjoy both reading/writing romance and smut. But do I know what to do when the situation arises irl? Nope. Instead, I barely know how to act romantic and I feel like everything I do is wrong.
To top this all off, I think I have a platonic crush on my best friend. Like- I wanna be in a QPR with him. The other day in class, I had dyed my hair and he decided to start playing with it and I nearly melted. But I know it wasn’t cuz i romantically like him. I like the idea of cuddling him, holding his hand, all that. But in a romantic way? Nope, that seems too out there.
I’m just so confused now, and it’s all a mess. I feel like I barely have time to process all this too, cuz I’m leaving for a road trip in less than a week (my mom planned a sudden trip to Disneyland, and she wants to drive there) so I have barely any alone time to process all this. Instead, I’m gonna mask it all and pray I can keep my thoughts in control until I get back from my trip :/
Hi <3
Well if more than one person has said that to you, it's definitely something to take seriously. Trust me, I've been there before <3
As far as being aroace- plenty of aroace people love reading smut lol. But I think the thing is, whether or not you're aroace, it's clear you're not interested in your current partner and that's the thing you need to address first. And in this case, I think just saying "my feeling have changed, and I'm confused right now. I think it's better if we don't date" is enough. You don't have to give your partner a label if you're not sure or ready, and you don't have to have a huge explanation. They WILL be upset, but it's much better to just be clear and firm.
Once you do that, give yourself some time to sort out your feelings before you enter into another relationship - QPR or otherwise. Allow yourself to work through it and just BE. It's much better in the long run, trust me. You don't need to have a label and you don't need to know your exact identity, but it's good to know what you want.
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tabitha anon
Hi Cas! Sorry this is going to be super long lol and I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable! This is kinda time sensitive lol i’m just way overthinking right now!
So for context, i’m like, kind of disabled? ‘Kind of’ in the sense that I’m severely chronically ill, like can’t work, bedbound most days by my chronic pain, and on the rare occasions I DO go out, i tend to get pretty sick afterwards. Basically it feels like I have the flu, I get the symptoms of a fever (like shivering, sweating, supreme brain fog, bad fatigue, etc., but my body can’t actually produce one even when i’m hospital level ill, if that makes sense), I can feel every single bone and muscle in my body bc they’re all hurting, and all of my joints swell up and feel like they’re on fire. But i’m also not actually diagnosed bc I’m on the waitlists. We think I have Lupus and EDS and probably POTS, but again, i’m not actually diagnosed which is why I don’t feel comfortable saying i’m disabled lol :((
So I got a cane last year (her name is Tabitha💅) thanks to my friend’s insistence, and it really does help quite a bit. I don’t get as dizzy while i’m out, i’m able to do a lot more, and I don’t feel nearly as sick in the days after. The problem is, my mom doesn’t believe i’m sick, ans thinks that if I just [insert unhelpful advice here] then I wouldn’t be sick and i’d be totally normal. So when I got the cane, she was pissed. Whenever I use it, she makes a huge deal about me just being lazy, and not actually needing it (which ig is true; i physically can do things without it, it just makes everything so much easier). Like to the point where when we went on vacation a while ago, she told me that I wasn’t allowed to bring it, and if I did, I wouldn’t be allowed on another trip with her ever again. I spent the whole trip in Pain™, but at least she was happy? It’s to the point where it’s just easier to not use it than deal with the backlash (which my mom has taken as proof that I ‘don’t need it’😕)
So here’s the issue; I’m travelling across the country in 2 days to visit some family, who she’s already visiting. My friend is taking me to and from the airport, and i’m meeting my family there. The problem is that my family has a crazy amount of stairs—three full sets—which are always really hard for me; even doing one set of stairs more than 2x a day makes my knee swell like crazy, and is super painful, let alone my other joints. I’ve dislocated my knee before going up, and my knee has given out multiple times when I go down stairs, leading me to fall down the stairs if I can’t catch myself in time. I want to bring my cane, partly to help at the airport l, but mostly just for the stairs at my family’s place, to make it easier on me. But I know that my mom is going to be PISSED if I bring it. Thing is, she’s not here to explicitly tell me no?
So I guess my Question™ is this: do you think it’s worth it to bring Tabitha with me, and have my mom be mad, or should I just suck it up and deal with the pain/possible issues and not bring it? What would you do?
Sorry for how long this is! Also, as a side note, i’m over 18 (I just live with my parents because I can’t afford to move) so it’s not like she’s being abusive or anything lol so don’t worry about that!!
Also you can call me ‘Tabitha 💅’ anon, since i’m too awkward and scared to come off anonymous haha thank you in advance!!
Hi <3 first, I am SO sorry it took me so long to reply, this just randomly showed up in my inbox now. tumblr is so weird.
But YES. Bring your cane.
Here's the thing- you DO need it. Sure, you can function without it, but not well! And not comfortably! You Need the cane to be comfortable and to enjoy your time, so you NEED it!
I know it's hard, but try to ignore your mother's ableism. Unless she's threatening to kick you out or something, keep doing what gives you comfort. She doesn't know what it's like to be in YOUR body, and you deserve comfort.
I hope your trip goes well and you get a diagnosis soon <3
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masc girl anon
CAS CA S GUESS WAHT OHMY GOHS
the pretty masc girl shes so omg waved at me!! and i waved back without fucking it up and doing something weird like i did the last two times!!!! ajkfdsjfdsdsfjksjdkjgfljdfjlire;dslfs;ldaldakf im so happy like what
also like i cant fucking figure out if im like bi or like idk somethogn or whatbecause i dont think ive ever like really had a crush on anybody?? but also this is not a normal level of happiness?? but also i dont know send help i am crashing out bro how do i tell?? how do i tel???????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
anyways yeah i hope youre having a nice day <3 ty
hahahaha congratulations!!! I think maybe you should try talking to her and seeing how you feel interacting with her more that might be a clue? If you still feel all giddy and happy and like...wanting to sing, that's probably a crush, but if you just feel normal friendship stuff then you probably just liked getting the wave (which is totally valid and not bad at all!).
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personal anon
so summer started and i was so excited yk!! but my mom has been working and she doesnt finish work until 2pm so i need to stay w my siblings at home and its kind of bothering me... like not because i need to go oit with my friends (it is sometimes) but mostly because i cant handle them anymore its so tiring and i just dont want to... i feel so ungratful for complaining because she works because we neeed the money and idk..
Hi <3
I think it's okay to be sad about something you have to do, while still knowing that it's not really anyone's fault. Like your mom is working to afford stuff for the family, so she's doing something positive, but it also sucks that you have to stay home. Like you're allowed to be mad about it! I think if you like...told her she was horrible for going to work, that would be a different story. But yeah, you can be sad and grateful at the same time <3
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greece anon
Hey it's Greece anon - been a while lol
Anyway so basically I finished my GCSEs on Monday (and therefore year 11 and secondary school) and I'm 16 years old but I don't know I just kind of been thinking
I think I've failed being a teenager actually. I've had like two friends for the last five years - no drama or anything. I've never ever had a crush or partner or kissed anyone (I think I might be aromantic/asexual) and I feel really left out. Everyone has lots of friends and hangout all the time and had a boyfriend already. They're all so excited for the long summer before sixth form because they get to hangout with all their friends and do fun things but I have like two and they don't really invite me places. And I'm so antisocial and awkward I've never really been invited anywhere, no parties or even just hangouts. I guess I'm just feeling sad because even though I know I'm only 16 and like got like 4 more years of being a teenager - nothing is going to change. I'm not going to date anyone because I'm pretty sure I just can't do that no matter how much I like the idea of it. I'm going to a whole new sixth form in September and won't know anyone and thanks to autism probably won't make any friends either. I'm so forgettable the only two friends I currently have are probably going to forget about me the second we're not in the same school which is now pretty much. And everyone's talking about summer plans and I've spent the last two days in my room. I don't know how this stuff comes so easily to everyone else I'm basically killing myself trying to maintain the two friends and okay-family I have now.
So that's what's new I guess just pondering the purpose of my life and cursing the universe for making me like this lol
How are you?
Hi <3
I completely understand where you're coming from because I did NOT do like...normal teenage things lol. At least not most of them.
I think the thing is, all of those things aren't always as great as you think they are. Now I TEACH teenagers and trust me, being a teenager is kind of shitty no matter what.
So the question is, what do you WANT to experience? What would be fun for YOU? If you don't like the idea of a party, don't go. If you don't like the idea of having a relationship, don't have one! Do what feels right to YOU. Because the kids who are going to parties and in relationships are usually just doing that to fit in, and some of them aren't enjoying it at all.
Yesterday it was one week since I went to the eras tour.
I feel like something is missing now I just feel like purposeless and just kind of existing I am so sad
It was amazing and I know I said I would tell you about it and stuff but I can't talk about it because that's admitting that it happened and it's over and I don't want to think about it being over because I can't go again and I am just so sad
It was the best day of my life and now I'm just stuck there forever (help I'm still at the restaurant still sitting in a corner I haunt cross legged in the dim light they say what a sad sight) but seriously I am just stuck at that moment I genuinely can't do anything I'm just... Hmmmmmmm I can't
Everything went smoothly, my view was great, my headphones were so good I couldn't even hear the crowd, I got DEAR JOHN and SAD BEAUTIFUL TRAGIC and LONDON BOY as my surprise songs (and you were right - not my favourite songs but they mean so much to me mow because they were mine), and a NEW MIDNIGHTS BODYSUIT, the people were so kind, I did my nails the eras colours, my hair was behaving itself (for once)
I can't get over it I'll forever be there (at the restaurant lol)
I am just so sad, my nails are chipping off, my 13 is gone, my dress is just laying there on my dresser and I don't even know what to do with it. What do I even do now?
Also Sabrina carpenter's new album came out yesterday, what are your favourite songs? Mine are bed chem and taste
- Greece anon
Hi!! I know it’s really sad that it’s over but remember that there will be other amazing days like this in the future. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but there will be other concerts (maybe even other Taylor swift ones, I say hopefully) and once in a lifetime opportunities! I promise, you’ll make other amazing memories.
Thank you for what you said about the eras tour rant I went on, it's really helped to calm some of my nerves.
Also good news! We didn't sell the tickets to strangers but to someone my mum works with and they will probably be able to grab the merch we want when they go to their show if we give them money for them so I probably won't have to worry about merch lines at all which is good. But if the lines are short when we go we might go anyway just to see what's left yk.
I have got the loop experience 2 earplugs because I saw a bunch of people recommending them but I'm really scared I'll be able to hear my voice really loudly in my head. I'll see when I get there whether the noise is bad enough to have to wear them.
It is almost only 10 days away and i am freaking out!!!! There is no way I am seeing Taylor swift in 10 days that's not real. She's literally my favourite person in the world and I'm going to see her in real life I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!
How did you organise your bracelets? I want to put the ones I get from other people on my wrists and keep the ones I've made separate but I just found out that wembley don't allow metal carabiners inside so I am trying to come up with a new way to hold them. My bag has a bunch of compartments (because I like to organise) so I might just have them loose in one of the big compartments lol
I'm going out with my friends on Wednesday (including the one I'm going to the eras tour with) and I'm going to be yapping about it so much they're going to be sick of me but I don't care because I'M GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR!!!!
I'm trying to get everything that I need to get done over summer break done before my show so after I can just lay and think "oh my god that was amazing I'm so sad it's over" but I tried to open the book I have to read yesterday and I just kind of stared at it for a while, not a lot of reading happened... But I opened it!!! And that counts as progress 😌
I'm so happy I'm actually going to the eras tour!
I got my tickets over a year ago (11th July 2023) and I have been waiting so patiently I can hardly control myself anymore. Like on the 16th August I am going to be AT THE ERAS TOUR!!!!! it's crazy I can't believe it. I watch a livestream of every single show (yes, every. Single. One. I know it's excessive but I just love it so much) and soon it will be MY show. I have seen it through over 100 grainy livestreams at like 2am and during classes and MY SHOW is so close I am so excited I could throw up, my stomach hurts if I think about it for too long.
This was long and it was mostly me rambling but once I get talking about it it's hard for me to stop so sorry but hey it could have been worse! How are you? I hope you're doing well, summer sucks sometimes cause of the heat but sometimes it's great, and I hope it's going great for you!
Hi!!! Ahhh, I'm so excited for you! You have to update me on how it goes, okay?
I organized my bracelets where I had my inappropriate ones on one arm and my g-rated ones on the other lol. Because I knew kids would be there. TBH my biggest regret of the show was that I didn't trade a lot though! I'm super socially awkward irl so I was scared to go up to people, so I only got a few trades done, so don't do what I did! Luckily when I went to the movie later on I was braver, but I still have like ten of my own bracelets left :(
I'm doing pretty good, my summer is going well! I can't wait to hear about how amazing your show is! <3
Can I rant at you please because my eras tour show is in exactly two weeks and I am freaking out!!!!!!
So context I got tickets for two shows but had to sell one of them because i couldn't afford it.
Now I am so scared I sold the wrong ones, what if they have a better view? What if the sound tower is in the way of my view? That tower haunts my dreams I swear because I am like 99% sure that they do block my view and I'm so scared. What if they get better surprise songs than me?
I know I'll have a good time anyway and it doesn't really matter but I think I might break down crying if I get there and can't actually see the stage.
Taylor means so much to me I am not even exaggerating I love her so much she's my everything so I'm kind of putting pressure on this to be perfect but I know that that will lead me to disappointment but I can't stop because I think of that stupid sound tower literally everywhere I go.
I'm not good with crowds and noise so I NEVER EVER go to concerts. Taylor is literally the only person I would ever go to a concert for and this is my first one so I will be so sad if I can't see her but I already sold the other tickets and sorted my travel out for my show and stuff so I can't change it ?? I'm dying!!! I am also neuro divergent and I'm scared I'll have a meltdown and have to leave and I don't know how good Wembley is at handling that stuff
What if my tickets don't work? What if my bag is too big or there is something in there I can't take in but forgot that I'm not allowed and they don't even let me in?
I'm in section 220 and sold seats in 515 which I thought was a good idea because 220 is closer but 515 is more center onto the stage and I didn't think of that while I was deciding and now I'm regretting it.
Also what if they're sold out of the merch I want? What if I'm behind someone with a sign or those big hats? What if my section is so dead not singing because if it is I would be so self conscious to be the only one singing so I wouldn't and that would be so sad. What if it's the other way and there is someone SCREECHING next to me.
I'm so anxious and I'm scared I will ruin this for myself which I really don't want to do because this is literally my dream and I don't know if I'll have the money to go next time she's on tour I'm so scared it's not going to be perfect but if I put too much pressure on it I'll be disappointed whatever happens.
Also I never wear dresses but I am to this (evermore dress and cloak) and I'm scared I'll feel really self conscious wearing it in public and stuff (being plus-sized will kill me to death I swear). Also I am hyper-sweaty so I'm scared I will smell because there will be a lot of dancing and jumping
This was long but everyone else thinks I'm crazy for caring so much about a concert but they don't understand what tay means to be she's saved my life about a gazillion times and comforts me more than anyone (through her music obviously I'm not friends with her). I'm just so nervous
Also this is Greece anon btw as well (that trip was so fun as well I got back last week I had such a great time)
Thanks for letting me rant at you ig and sorry this was so long
Hi hon!
First of all, next time you have Taylor tickets to sell, I'm your guy, alright? :P
Let's talk through some of your fears:
The sound tower- I'm pretty sure those seats that are obstructed by the tower have to be sold as obstructed. But if they aren't, there are a few solutions to this. First, you can ask a staff member if it's possible to move to an empty seat (there will be empty seats. there were at my concert date, because of stupid ticket resellers), second, you can use the big screens to see anything you miss, and third, you can walk around to find a spot to stand at. A lot of people at my date stood in places that weren't even their seats.
Surprise songs- your surprise songs will mean the world to you because they are yours. I didn't get DBATC as my surprise song, which was my dream, but literally every time my surprise songs come on, I get so excited because they were MINE. They'll hold a special place in your heart no matter what they are.
Seat locations- 220 is better than 515, definitely. You made the right choice.
Neurodivergency/crowds- I'm also neurodivergent and the crowds werent that bad- the only time I struggled a bit was in the merch line. Other than that, it was very controlled. If you're worried, you could also get loop ear plugs? I got those and it helped with noise. I'd also suggest cough drops because singing for 3 hours hurts the throat lol.
Tickets/bags- your tickets will work, hon. those horror stories are just that- horror stories. And if you accidentally bring something you're not supposed to, they'll just throw it out, they won't kick you out.
Merch- I got in the merch line during the openers and I got a size 2x blue crewneck no problem <3
The crowd- I don't remember the crowd at all during my show. I don't remember if people were screaming or not saying a word. I just remember that I was screaming. Ignore the crowd and focus on you, hon. Screw everyone else. You don't know these people! Who cares if they think you're too loud or too sweaty. If they think that, they're spending their time judging you instead of simping over Taylor and I feel bad for them
On the outfit. You will slay. Dress in layers, take a cute picture at the beginning, and then don't worry if you end up looking like trash. By the end of the night, the best Swifties will have mascara running down their cheeks and ruined hair from sweating from jumping. AS. THEY. SHOULD.
I totally understand all the overthinking. But when you get in there, it's all gonna go away. I promise, all you'll be able to think about is how amazing it is <3
