hey there cowboy
seven years now since we last spoke, can you believe it? its the dead of night back home. do you remember when you'd wake me up at 5 am to mow the lawn before it got too hot? i made you sit at the table while i finished a cup of coffee, that was my rule. its probably why i still drink coffee. just give me another minute before you go, ok?
i think about that phone call. grief is funny, most times youre going along fine and then suddenly you underwater gasping for air. i think of you telling me you were proud of me. you never did that. i think maybe you knew.
i think about your voice. i cant remember it unless i think about that goofy message on your answering machine, laughing and bright. 'Leave me a Message.' sometimes, i still do, even though you never show online. maybe you still get them somehow.
anyway, i miss you. (dont be shooting at me then, you'd always say, or you gotta improve you aim!) do you know how much of you is still here? do you know my stories are all laced with grief? do you know my smile is a perfect copy of yours? thanks for that. i love you.
talk soon, space cowboy <3




















