Request: Please do “You can’t love anyone. ‘Cause that would mean you had a heart.” with the darkling from Shadow & Bone series. Requested by anon.
Warnings: slight violence, mention of torture, emotional manipulation, angst.
Word Count: 1 K.
Fictober Challenge
Just as you were about to close your eyes and give up from being brutally tortured, you saw a bright light flood through the door of your cell. You raised a weak hand to shield your eyes, wincing at the sudden brightness. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the light dimmed.
“Did you miss me?” a familiar voice asked, smooth and taunting. No, this couldn’t be real. It couldn’t possibly be him. You blinked, your vision still blurry, and there he was- Alexander, squatting before you with that signature smirk playing on his lips.
“You’re dead. I saw to it myself” you spat, your voice hoarse, eyes narrowing as you glared at him.
His smirk only deepened, a glint of amusement in his dark eyes “And what if I am?” he leaned forward, fingers reaching to brush your face, but you turned your head sharply to the side, recoiling from his touch.
“Does that mean I’m dead too?” you asked, your glare never leaving him.
“No” he said as he rose to his full height, his tone turning cold “But you will be soon” he began pacing around the cramped cell, his steps deliberate, calculated. “It’s just a matter of time.”
You kept your eyes on him, your heart pounding despite the weariness pulling at you “What are you doing here?”
He stopped, glancing back at you with a cocky drin that made your stomach twist “I guess you still need me, even in your darkest hour.”
“I don’t need you” you scoffed, though the weakness in your voice betrayed you “You’re dead and I’ve been doing fine on my own.”
He raised an eyebrow, the grin never leaving his face “Have you? Look at you” his gaze swept over you, his voice dripping with disdain. “You disappoint me. No one is coming to save you. After all that training, you are still a failure, Y/n.”
You scoffed again, but the insult stung “I guess I take after you” you muttered, letting your head fall back against the cold, damp wall. Your eyes fluttered shut, hoping to block him out, if only for a moment.
His smirk faltered, frustration darkening his features “So you’re just going to give up like that?” his voice had an edge of irritation now.
You slightly opened your eyes, glancing at him “What if I do? It’s not like you can do anything about it.”
His expression hardened, eyes narrowing, offense flashing through them “Are you just doing this to spite me?”
You gave him a sad smile, though your heart felt heavier than ever “Even if I wanted to, that’s not possible anymore.”
His jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. He couldn’t take this anymore- couldn’t take the way you were wallowing in self-pity. “Y/n, get up” his tone shifted from condescending to firm.
You lifted your head slowly, meeting his gaze with defiance in your eyes “Why?”
“Because I said so” he snapped, nostrils flaring, his fists shaking slightly from the force of his anger.
You chuckled bitterly “I don’t listen to you anymore, remember?”
His patience snapped, and he gripped your shoulder before you had time to react “Then I’ll just have to make you then” The world around you shifted, your cell disappearing, replaced by a hauntingly familiar scene.
“Wait, wait, what did you do?” fear flashed across your face as you looked around. Panic gripped your chest, your voice trembling.
“I’m showing you your most painful memory” he said, his voice calm but with a cruel edge. You recognized the place instantly- the moment you last saw him alive.
“No, stop, please” you begged, your hand grabbing his, desperately trying to push him away. You needed this to stop, whatever it was.
His hand remained firm on your shoulder as he leaned in, his breath warm against your ear “Don’t be afraid. Look” his voice was commanding, but you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to see. “I said look!” he shouted, and the sheer force of his voice startled you into compliance. Your eyes snapped open, and you were forced to relive it- the moment you killed him.
“Why are you doing this to me?” you sobbed, unable to tear your gaze away from the horrific scene playing out in front of you.
He circled you slowly, coming to a stop just behind you “Remember why you did this, why you killed me” his voice had softened now, turning eerily calm as he leaned in and whispered in your ear “You have to finish what you started.”
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “But I can’t- I can’t do this anymore.” your voice cracked as you spoke, the exhaustion, the guilt, and the hopelessness finally catching up to you.
He moved to face you, his dark eyes locking onto yours. “You have to, because if you don’t, then all of this was for nothing.” he leaned in closer, your faces inches apart, his voice merely a whisper Then my love meant nothing to you.”
Hearing him say that and being forced to watch as you killed him again made something snap inside you. “You can’t love anyone, Alexander” your voice wavered, but there was a steel edge to it now “‘cause that would mean you had a heart.”
He recoiled slightly, the cold amusement in his eyes flickering. You wiped a stray tear from your cheek and pushed yourself to your feet. “You’re right about one thing though” you continued, your voice growing stronger, “I have to finish this. My guilt was consuming me, but you-” your eyes burned into his “Oh you showed me that it was not my fault. You had to die so that everyone else could live.” you said, the weight of your own words settling over you.
For the first time in what felt like years, the tight grip of guilt loosened its hold on your heart. You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as if releasing all the pain you had carried. You looked at him one last time- the man who once held your heart. Though you still ached from his loss, you were finally ready to move on. “Goodbye, Alexander.”
