Nothing like coming home to find pelican lice crawling on you.
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Nothing like coming home to find pelican lice crawling on you.
Some days are good days and some days are bad days and some days you’re going to to the public washroom at work and you’re on your period and you accidentally get a smear of blood on your hand and when you turn to grab some toilet paper to wipe it off because it’s sitting on the back of the tank because someone broke the dispenser off the wall your headphones fall out of your pocket and land in the toilet so you have to stick your hand in the toilet so now you have piss and blood on your hands and on your headphones so you do your best to clean everything up with toilet paper and then step out of the stall to wash the blood and piss off your hands and then some dude from the pharmacy walks in at the same time and it’s the same guy who fills your ADHD meds so you’re standing there half way out of the bathroom stall in your work clothes holding a pair of wet bloody headphones and it seems like he either actually doesn’t notice or doesn’t want to mention it but he’s there to wash his hands too and he’s like “long time no see” and you’re like “yeah my doctor’s on vacation, I’ll be by when he gets back with my refill order” and he’s like “oh okay do you need like an emergency refill” and you’re like “nah it’s fine” and you’re washing blood off your hands and he’s cleaning under his nails cause he part-times at the hospital and he’s good about that but he doesn’t ask any more questions and finally you both leave to go back to work and you’re halfway down the hallway walking next to him in dead silence when you realize you still have a fresh tampon in your pocket
I had like the worst idea mid convo and had to put it on paper. Waterboy can get tongue biting louses that fish get sometimes. Robert unfortunately is the one who finds out. Once Herman gets his tongue bandaged up they spend five hours in complete silence and like a week afterwards in shell shock. Her name is Sherbert.
Also the original sketch along with the finalized one because it's genuinely the funniest thing in the world to me.
[CW: WORMS! IN! PUSSY!]
I come to my senses, tightly strapped to a gynecological chair with belts, unable to move. I’m naked and spread wide open, my legs forced apart, a gag in my mouth. Between my legs, everything is shaved clean and, it seems, smeared with something… something sticky.
He walks over to me, grinning widely, wearing a white coat, gloves, and carrying a large jar filled with some writhing mass. My vision is blurry, and I squint against the bright light aimed right at my face. With difficulty, I focus on the jar and realize with horror that it’s filled with worms and all kinds of crawling insects.
BLOOD-RED SYMPTOMATIC VOMIT ON MY BED
OPEN SORES COVER MY BODY TREAT ME LIKE UR [ PET : ) ]
warning for squeamish people like this dream is super not for you and involves parasites
ocd is so evil. oh you're having a lupus flare up tonight? let's have a nightmare about an alternate reality where your mouth sores are actually bug parasites boring into your flesh and you have to squeeze them out of your tongue like pimples
Spitting human guts into your mouth is my love language ♡
✮DNI: PRO/DARKSHIP, RADQ, TRANSID, HB AND ABE DOUBLES!!✮