“The strongest thing a man can do is cry. It takes real strength to be vulnerable and let yourself feel and that much more strength to allow anyone to see your tears”. -Jay Z Quote Paraphrased from New York Times interview with Dean Baquet, executive editor
Listening to the pain in Jay Z’s voice as he spoke about the inner struggles he’s faced as he’s matured as a black man both personally and professionally was surprisingly moving. Now I say it was surprising because as a black woman I didn’t expect myself to relate to the pain a man feels as result of his infidelity. In the New York Times interview the mogul candidly spoke about his shortcomings and failings and how they were something he’d not ever faced in such a significant and meaningful way prior to this time in his life.
For a moment I forgot I was watching a Jay Z interview because in that moment his humanity outshined his celebrity status. You could see the pain in his eyes and face as he talked about how therapy had gotten him to address things about himself, his manhood, and his relationship that before he’d never truly let himself explore. He spoke about how men compartmentalize to the point that they ignore their emotions because they’re taught early on that men shouldn’t show emotion or pain. He said the streets that raised him taught him early on that showing or even acknowledging emotions was a sign of weakness.
Jay Z said it was therapy that truly gave him the time and space to explore his emotions and get to understand that in order to grow as a person he had to look at the mirror. He went on to say that the hardest thing is seeing the pain that you caused on the face of the one you love the most.
Jay Z said 50% of marriages end in divorce because people give up. I must say watching the interview he seemed sincere and genuine. He said the emotional maturity he’s gained after having experienced such a set of potentially earth shattering circumstances was life altering.
The New York Times interview and the interview he had with David Letterman on the hour long Netflix special show a maturity and openness that I think are showing a different side to the multifaceted artist. In both interviews I mentioned above I saw a deeply flawed man that is doing the personal work needed to make amends through therapy by taking full responsibility for the pain his actions have inflicted on those closest to him.
Only time will tell if Jay Z and Beyoncé will be able to move past the infidelities. However, openly admitting and taking responsibility for the hurt and pain he single handedly inflicted on their marriage is a step in the right direction in my book.
Seeking help through therapy and by speaking about it openly says a lot about his character and how he’s grown as a person. Being that Jay Z is a trendsetter I wonder how many other black men will be moved by his example to explore their emotions and feelings through therapy or counseling. Removing the stigma surrounding therapy is a long road in the black community especially. Seeing these interviews has got to be at least a positive step forward. Using his celebrity and status to speak openly is a trend many could learn from in my humble opinion.
