My Grishaverse Secret Santa Gift For @swimreadrepeat
I have somehow not realized how used I really am to celebrating Christmas on the 6th of January instead of today until the moment I've found it necessary to start keeping track of the time I had left to finish working on this gift... It has been fun, trying to stick in all the little moments and make them work with the rest, focusing on what Wylan is truly feeling on the inside and giving him the attention he deserves, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it for you. Happy holidays, from me to you!
Final word count: 2,250 💚❤️
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THE QUIET BETWEEN SNOWFALLS
Mid-morning sunshine finally gains the upper hand in its battle against cloudy skies sometime just before noon, settling over the spacious living room in that same way velvet drapes rise up and off a stage, all slow and fucking dramatic, enthralling the audience as the incoming light prepares to burn their retinas to ash. Wylan should know. After all, at one point, it used to be the only place he felt he could escape to. Funny how he had five of those now, though he’d say that’s on his father for underestimating how foolish a group of young adults truly could be, for they’ve each, despite all odds, managed to fall in love with a mess like him. For what he calls Hell, that being out of his control, this punishment wasn't quite so bad.
Various shades of red keep firing in his head like fireworks, frankly easy to get lost in as Wylan squeezes his eyes shut tighter, arms locked under the weight of the heaviest quilt likely ever made for them to be of use. His nose scrunches up at the memory of Matthias telling him about how his toes still managed to stick out of it when it wasn’t positioned at the perfect angle… The crowd breaks into applause, and he groans. With his mind at last sharp enough to realise what it was that had woken him up, it really is anyone’s guess whether he might be about to cry or throw a brick at the group’s shared television. ‘What is the point of a live audience when you are just going to coach them on how to smile anyway?’ That used to be solely Jesper’s habit, leaving it turned on overnight. “White noise to help me sleep,” he’d say, even as he was being actively pulled into Kaz’s room to be thrown onto the bed.
It takes some kicking this way and that, pulling from both the top and side, such fine effort completely wasted a moment later as he slides off the couch into a pile on the floor, disoriented and aching. Wylan smiles as he realises this would never have felt anywhere near as peaceful back at the Van Eck estate. He had time to enjoy it now, nothing and everything to look forward to. The clock was ticking, but its purpose was no longer to limit him. It’s hard to remember when exactly he’d quit calling that place home, stopped waiting to wake up there instead of here. An empty pot calls his name from the kitchen as he relearns how to stand and walk, stretching out limbs and popping stiff joints, an imaginary mug of black, bitter coffee already invading every one of his six senses.
Minutes mattered quite little when one could spend however long they wished like this… A door opens somewhere vaguely behind him as the last few seconds tick down until the brew is done, a single, slow creak joining the quiet buzz of the coffee machine, and soft footsteps giving some much-needed rhythm to Wylan’s unintentional humming. They used to be somewhat of a chore, simple things, stuff to get through before the first of his many tutors showed up and the time came for him to, yet again, fail at ‘making himself worth the trouble’. But now, as Wylan reaches up to open the cupboard without thinking, grabbing Kaz’s cup for him without needing to be asked, a plain grey one with a dumb pun on it which he was told had been printed upside down, having made enough for both of them and their partners to share, that really couldn't be further from the truth. Because this is routine.
Trying to survive on his own had been a difficult time for him. To not think back on it was an even bigger challenge. Months had passed since he had last booked a cheap room or asked for a favour just to have somewhere to spend the night, but the simplicity of all he has, continues to have, keeps on surprising him nonetheless. Now, he makes coffee to enjoy it. He doesn’t think of that assignment he hasn’t finished, or the schedule ahead that was very obviously made just to make him miserable. Looking to his right where his sleepy gaze meets Kaz’s alert gaze, he is reminded of just how lucky he had gotten.
“Did you decide to work through the night again? How long has it been since you last slept?”
Inej drank coffee the least out of all of them. But this meant something to her, going through the process of making it day after day whenever she could, a reminder of her family who had raised her, an act of kindness for the new family she had found with them. It was less of a story he had been told and more just a fact he had pieced together after way too many cups of said caffeinated drink in a single week where each always tasted better than the last until the moment she had perfected it. For her, such a thing had and never would be about the final product, only the comfort and connection which came as a result of it. As Kaz opens up the fridge to steal a row of Nina’s latest chocolate-adjacent acquisition, waiting for it to melt in the cup before he takes a tentative sip, Wylan begins to see the appeal.
”None of your fucking business and one hour more. I tried counting sheep at some point or another, but they all owed me money.”
“Something tells me these sheep you speak of really like waffles.”
“That and leaving me stuck with waterproof lipstick all over my face because she didn’t want to open the seal on her new bottle of makeup remover, yes.”
Just as being glued to the screen until he went cross-eyed was a ritual to share with Jesper and noting down all the small but meaningful preferences was his normal to play a part in with Inej, there was nothing that could beat trying to outrun Kaz Brekker in a race of wit. Good gossip and Nina. Sketching in silence with Matthias. They each held a piece of his heart that he could not dare discard. Between himself and three others that made up their neutral party, hands were not enough to count the number of dates between Kaz and Nina that had yet to end without the occurrence of some flavour of disaster. Having fallen in love with Kaz’s voice for the umpteenth time, Wylan listens until Kaz’s mug is empty and his own coffee had gone cold.
Dragging his feet back towards the living room, Wylan barely manages to gather the strength to pick up the quilt he had left on the floor, throwing it over his shoulders as he once again allows himself to sink into the cushions of the couch, this time face-first. Turning his head sideways to still be able to talk to Kaz, he is met with a brow pulled so high up on his face that it almost gets lost in the hairline. We should start keeping track of just how high they can go. Rolling his eyes, Wylan sits up to cast a lazy wave around the room in the general direction of the windows where the light shines even brighter outside, reflecting off pure white snow. “Survey the vast amount of off into which you can fuck, Kaz.”
Kaz snorts, and Wylan can’t help but openly show just how smug he feels about that particular reaction, adding yet another pretend tally mark to the board on his own side, as the main door opens and two new voices fill the hall. Inej and Matthias seem to be back from their group training session at the gym, obvious by the ridiculous way their freshly-dried hair is tied, a matching duo consisting of a chunky green band with a pixel-style Creeper charm and a fluffy jet-black one with neon purple beads and a tag Wylan knows says something along the lines of ‘Do not look directly at ponytail’. They barely exchange greetings, small waves and endearing smiles with Kaz actually shimming closer to let Matthias’ cold lips leave a chaste kiss on his cheek, when the door suddenly slams open again.
“This one here started sprinting sideways once I pointed out that someone was pulling into the driveway! … Oh, I can’t breathe.” Nina speaks while fanning herself as if that’s supposedly going to help rid her face of its red flush from the cold. Jesper, all the while, is still holding the bags, some of them full of groceries and others decidedly very much not, looking at her like that is the complete opposite of the thing that has actually happened. “Nina, do you want to tweak that story a bit, or do I need to bring up that time I went to your appointment at the ophthalmologist with you? The only thing you can see is glitter!”
“Planning on whipping up some omelettes with that stuff from the jewellery place I know you love, are you, Jesper?“ The words are lost to the noise almost before they even make it out of Wylan’s mouth, yielding easily to Inej’s intake of breath as she lifts a squealing Nina into a hug, to Kaz’s quip back when Matthias points out how he really shouldn’t speak on the topic of good eyesight when he himself can’t see further than a literal opposum in the daylight without his glasses and Jesper’s resulting laughter. There are eggs in those bags, that much he knows, buried somewhere next to shimmering fabrics and perhaps a plushie or two, products that most definitely should be refrigerated, but as they continue to throw playful insults at each other from across the room, Wylan truly couldn’t care less.
”Who could have possibly added green onions to the list before you left?”
“Merchling, you are going to have to turn down the” — he makes a vague gesture — “everything, if you want me to actually hear anything you’re saying.”
“Is that Jesper’s sweater? … And my pants?” Without another word, Jesper offers his hand to her and Inej takes it with a fond look that makes Wylan’s mouth scrunch up into something incredibly pathetic. The others, too, seem to figure out the plan before he does. They are smiling at him like he’s a glass of warm tea to get her through a long study session, or an audio recording of the book with a story he couldn’t help but fixate on. Affection so potent that he dares not look away. Less scared of them disappearing on him if he does, Wylan allows himself to be selfish. They are smiling at him like he is everything and more. ‘That’s my line.’
“Technically, the sweater used to belong to Matthias before I claimed it for myself, and only then did Jesper manage to get his grubby little hands on it, but sure… You both had it coming.”
Determined to break his brain completely, Inej moves to stand behind the couch before letting go, the only sign of her existence being the way their partner’s eyes track her movements, silence sending shivers through Wylan’s body as the anticipation builds. Her hands are like a spell as they move and her fingers card through his hair, scratching in all the right places, and his body turns stiff as he feels her breath on the back of his neck before she’s kissing the curls, lips gentle as a breeze. She travels up with her touch, kissing him once more, twice, then again, each softer than the last. Standing in front of him with a smirk of a man that is way too confident for Wylan’s liking, Jesper seems to have decided on a different approach.
Before Wylan can even finish counting to ten in an attempt to calm the relentless static that has taken over his mind, body and soul, Jesper is moving down, down, down… He kneels in front of him, palms flat on the side of his thighs, and Wylan can’t help the squeak that leaves him. His face is red enough to challenge the traffic cones outside in a duel to the death, and Jesper, in his infinite understanding and lack of patience, is very obviously trying not to burst out laughing as he stays still and generously gifts him with a moment to sort himself out.
The moment passes, an arm slides around and over his back, belonging to a very amused Nina sitting perched on the armrest, her movements having gone unnoticed during his little breakdown, and the pair advance towards him in perfect synchrony. Jesper’s arms wrap around his mid-section and his mouth is on Wylan’s stomach as Nina’s lips make contact with his collarbone, cheek pressed flat against his clothed shoulder. His throat only lets him make quiet creaking noises now, his eyes stuck wide open, and at that exact moment, Wylan is pretty sure that they have broken him.
Except it doesn’t end there. ‘Because why would it ever?’ The job is not over and done until the goal has been reached or all plans and their variations are exhausted. For all the overthinking he had been doing since he had first woken up, Wylan notices that Kaz’s hands are bare of gloves only after the man has already taken firm hold of his face from both sides, cold in comparison to the intense heat that has overtaken his very being, pulling him in to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Can we make some sort of queue here… I do not think there is enough of me for you all to kiss.”
“No, he’s right, I definitely cannot fit in this mess.”
Matthias’ response, voice cracking with an amused chuckle, barely makes it through the bright sound of Wylan’s laughter as Jesper expertly untucks his shirt from the sweatpants, lifting the rumpled fabric to just above his navel, only to blow a raspberry into his skin… ‘Well, that just won’t do.’ One of Nina’s sly smiles makes it onto his face as the beginnings of an idea register in his head and the world moves in slow motion as the onslaught of warmth leaves him, the Crows moving around and away to give him space as he gets off the couch, his eyes set on the target. ‘This time of year may be for miracles, but no magic words could possibly give me something better than the five of you.’
Wylan is pretty sure that the voice cheering behind him is indeed Jesper, Kaz’s half-suppressed snicker and Nina’s wolf whistle cutting through the racket as he picks up Matthias’ arm by the wrist, the flush on Matthias’ pale cheeks only making him even more determined to push through if that meant keeping such an expression on his face for even a second longer. Clever fingers turn the hand around and slide further down to grasp his fingers as carefully as one would hold a snowflake, eyes not leaving Matthias as he bends down to leave a tender kiss on the back of it, a promise that they all know means forever. ‘There really is no up from here.’
this is a gift for @ejga-ostja for the @grishaversesecretsanta 2025!
this was my first time writing for SOC/the grishaverse (though I’ve had ideas and drabbles in my wip doc for a while) and def my first time experimenting with Kylan! BUT!! I had so much fun writing this and hopefully you like it too :)
I also (because I’m an overachiever/procrastinator/both) made a moodboard and a playlist — you can see them below!
but without further ado:
can I be close to you, by yours truly (swimreadrepeat)
{read it on ao3 HERE!}
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^ songs in plain text in image id
{The Bastard of the Barrel and a mercher’s son make an unlikely pair. But they make it work.
Aka: 5 times the Crows suspect something’s going on with Kaz and Wylan and 1 time they know for sure.
Song: “Bloom”, The Paper Kites}
note that this takes place in a canon-divergent universe where the crows live together and that's it (no parem, no ice court heist, etc). they're still criminals though. feel free to come up with actual lore and a way to fit it alongside canon, because i sure didn't.
4106 words
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I. Jesper
In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness
And you fill my head with you
“I’m going to kill myself,” Wylan groans, sliding down the wall with his hands over his face.
Kaz gives him an appraising look over the top of his book before sighing and snapping it shut. The other boy is now huddled on the ground, hands raking through his already messy hair. Kaz isn’t one for comfort and introspection, but he gets up from his chair and makes his way over to Wylan.
The apartment they’re occupying is empty save for the two of them, its creaky floors and leaky ceiling providing a quiet symphony to accompany Kaz’s gruff, “You can’t kill yourself. You’re my best demo man. Do you know how hard it is to find a good demo man?”
Wylan looks up, eyes wide. “You only want me around because I’m good at blowing things up?”
“No,” Kaz admits, though it sounds like the statement pains him. “I want you around because I just do. But also you’re a very worthwhile investment.”
It’s almost an inside joke now, the investment thing. Inej had wasted no time telling the other Crows about it and now Kaz will never live it down. But if it’s a way for him to tell his friends he cares without feeling like he’s choking on the sickly-sweet ‘I-love-you’s, then so be it.
Wylan cracks a small smile, which is a win in Kaz’s book, but he still looks out of it. So Kaz heaves a sigh and shuffles closer, using the wall for support as he lowers himself to the ground and stretches his bad leg out in front of him.
He leaves a decent space between him and Wylan, figuring that if the other boy wants physical touch, he’ll make the move himself. Sure enough, Wylan scoots closer until his thigh is touching Kaz’s.
“Is this okay?” he whispers, looking up at Kaz with concern in his eyes.
Kaz nods. He appreciates that everyone takes care to make sure he’s comfortable, but Wylan has always been better than the rest. Despite the fact that he might be the most physically intimate with everyone else—he’s a very touchy feely person, almost as much as Jesper if not more—he never hesitates to move away if he senses Kaz isn’t in the mood.
They sit like this for a while, Wylan slowly lowering his head onto Kaz’s arm and letting out a pitiful sigh, like that of a puppy.
“What was it this time?” Kaz asks, breaking the silence.
“Nothing,” Wylan says quickly, before adding, with another sigh, “Everything.”
Kaz raises an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like nothing, then.”
“My father-”
“Say no more,” Kaz practically spits. “I’ll have him violently dismembered. Ripped limb from limb. But not before I tell him exactly how much he can shove his pompous-”
Wylan cuts him off with a choked laugh. “No, Kaz. No violence, no threatening, no dismemberment. Please.”
“But he…” Kaz trails off. “He did this.”
“No, I’m just, you know. Letting him get in my head. He didn’t actually do anything.”
“Except traumatize you for life, apparently,” Kaz mutters, but he drops it in favor of threading his fingers through Wylan’s hair. Skin to skin contact is a big no-no still, but when they’re fully clothed and he’s got his gloves on and it’s clear that Wylan is a living, breathing human being, it’s not that bad. He can keep the freezing waters at bay.
Wylan lets out another sigh, except this time it sounds more like a sigh of pleasure than a sigh of annoyance or despair. Kaz just keeps fluffing Wylan’s hair, gazing into the distance and envisioning Van Eck’s violent dismemberment silently instead.
It’s only when Jesper walks into the room—he really was losing his touch; the Wraith sneaking up on them he understood, but Jesper?—that he realizes that his leg and arm have fallen asleep from the weight, his butt hurts from sitting on the floor, and his fingers have long since stilled, tangled in Wylan’s hair.
He shifts slightly, trying to get blood flowing back into his stiff limbs, but then freezes when he realizes that Wylan is fast asleep. A quick glance out the window shows a darkened street, meaning the rest of the Crows will be back soon. Right, he thinks to himself. This totally isn’t a compromising position.
Jesper is still gaping at them on the floor, seemingly unable to form any kind of intelligent thought.
“What?” Kaz hisses at him.
“You’re- I mean, what? How? Why are you on the floor?”
A perfectly arched eyebrow goes up. “I fell here, of course. Felt too comfy to get up.”
Jesper huffs out a sigh, but he turns around to leave. As he disappears around the corner, Kaz can see him shaking his head in disbelief.
But when he’s absolutely sure Jesper is gone, Kaz leans down to give Wylan a quick peck on the cheek…
and then he wakes him up.
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II. Inej
Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can’t get out
“I don’t understand!” Jesper whisper-shouts. “One minute Kaz is acting like the only reason he doesn’t let Wylan starve on the street is because he can blow things up, and the next he’s sitting on the floor letting him sleep? What kind of witchcraft is this?”
Inej laughs, shooting Nina a look. Jesper glares at them balefully, looking to Matthias instead for backup.
The blonde merely shakes his head, holding up his hands in innocence. “I’m not a part of this,” he protests.
Jesper rolls his eyes. “Come on. They’re our friends. They would tell us if they were hiding something, right?”
Nina and Inej’s next shared glance is less than encouraging.
-----
Inej’s job is intel. And she’s very, very good at her job. And what she’s doing isn’t technically spying, it’s just gathering intel. At least, that’s what she tells herself when she’s inching her way out the window, carefully slotting herself just below the sill.
This is the window she comes and goes from frequently, her preferred method of entering and exiting Kaz’s office. Right now, though, it’s her way to get to the bottom of this Kaz and Wylan stuff. Neither of the boys is in the building at the moment, but she’s expecting Kaz home sometime soon.
Wylan’s been extremely tight-lipped about where he’s going today, and she suspects it’s because he’s not comfortable sharing whatever it is with the rest of them. Which, fine. It’s fine. He’s entitled to his privacy.
It’s not like she’s going to tell anyone.
She just wants to know. Her muscles tense as she hears the unmistakable sound of Kaz’s door opening and two—two!—sets of footsteps entering the room.
It takes all her willpower not to peek over the sill and see who it is. She’s not in the business of just assuming things, after all. But all doubt is dispelled when she hears Wylan’s hushed voice.
“So you want a bigger flash-bang?” he asks.
Inej almost falls off the ledge in disappointment. Explosives! They were just talking about explosives.
Kaz’s reply is punctuated by the sounds of him cleaning his hands in his little basin of water. Inej has seen him do this countless times, but-
Wait.
He took off his gloves in front of Wylan. He’d probably taken off his shirt in front of Wylan (or maybe he just did that because he knew it irritated Inej). Granted, neither of those options meant that they were…what, dating? Hooking up?
But it was odd, to say the least.
She tunes back into the conversation long enough to hear Kaz say, “Non-lethal, if you can.”
Wylan scoffs. “Non-lethal? Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?”
Kaz’s reply is equally teasing, a softness in his tone that Inej rarely hears. “Nothing. I don’t kill for fun, you know.”
“Yeah, and I can read you a novel. I’ll work on the non-lethals, maybe get them to you tomorrow if I go to the lab tonight.”
The noise of assent Kaz makes is quiet, but Inej, practically holding her breath to avoid giving herself away with some sort of triumphant noise, picks it up.
Ghezen, she thinks. Maybe Jesper’s onto something after all.
Footsteps again, this time moving back towards the door.
Then Kaz: “Wait.”
Wylan’s response is back to teasing. “What? I gotta get to work on those flash-bangs. Make your investment worth it.”
“Don’t blow your hand off, you insufferable menace.”
Wylan’s laugh, a gleeful bark that tears from his throat like he doesn’t have a care in the world, is music to her ears.
But she’s beginning to think it’s even more magical to Kaz.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
III. Nina
Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of feelings never told
Nina’s loves include waffles, her family, and feeling sexy (in that order). So when she wakes up in the morning and finds Wylan cooking waffles, she almost explodes. “I love you,” she says, giving him a massive hug.
He laughs, wiggling out from her grasp to go back to monitoring his waffles. “You’re up early,” he teases.
“My waffle-o-meter went off,” she replies, leaning around him to get a good look at her precious babies.
He jokingly pushes her away, pointing at the mismatched table and chairs with a clear command to go sit down. She flounces over, claiming her chair while keeping an eye on the waffles. “Wait-” she realizes. “Why are you awake?”
Wylan turns away, back to the wafflemaker, but not before she sees his cheeks and ears turn red. “Just…working on the bombs,” he mutters.
Inej had told Nina in a whisper about the conversation she’d overheard, the teasing tones between Kaz and Wylan that the boys don’t usually use. But they both agree that the boys are entitled to their privacy, so neither of them wants to push.
“How are the bombs coming?” she asks instead, wiggling her eyebrows.
He’s still facing away, but she’s certain he caught her tone anyway. “It’s good,” he replies. “Kaz wants some non-lethals, so I’ve been working on those.”
She shakes her head. “What is that trickster planning now?”
Shrugging, Wylan unplugs the waffle maker and plates the waffles. Sliding them in front of Nina, he answers, “Some job, probably.”
“Non-lethal, though?”
“Dunno.”
She jumps up to give him another hug, then digs into her waffles happily. She’s only eaten a couple bites, though, when Kaz comes in. He’s not looking at her, and she fully watches as his face lights up. He schools his expression into something resembling indifference when he spots Nina sitting at the table, eating waffles with wide eyes.
But she doesn’t miss the way his posture is less stiff as he moves towards Wylan, his cane tapping along the floor. Wylan’s smile, in turn, is even sunnier than the one he’d given her earlier.
Glancing between them, Nina picks up her plate and inches out of the room slowly. Whatever’s going on between them, she does not want to be a third wheel.
As she leaves, though, she sneaks a glance over her shoulder and is not disappointed. She watches Wylan pull out Kaz’s chair, a gentlemanly gesture that seems to hold extra weight this morning. Kaz smiles, a real, genuine smile, as he takes his seat.
And as the door swings closed, Nina watches Kaz’s gloved hand cover Wylan’s. Neither of them pulls away.
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IV. Matthias
When the evening pulls the sun down
And the day is almost through
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping
But my world is you
Nina is not known for her ability to keep secrets. So when she pulls Matthias into her room, closes the door, and promptly spills every detail collected by her and Inej over the past few days about Wylan and Kaz, he’s not particularly surprised.
He is surprised, though, that they’re freaking out over something with basically zero concrete proof. “They’re friends,” he protests. “Why does that automatically mean they must be hooking up?”
“It doesn’t,” Nina sighs. “But it’s odd, right?”
“Odd,” Matthias agrees, “but it does not mean anything and you know it.”
She shrugs, flouncing over to the door and swinging it open. Right before she walks out, she adds, “Well, maybe just look a little closer. You’re a guy, you might catch something us women miss.” She gives him a wink and slides around the corner and out of sight.
As much as he doesn’t think Kaz and Wylan are actually dating in secret, he is intrigued. So that’s how Matthias finds himself wandering the upstairs hallway later that day, listening intently for signs of life. Kaz is out doing who knows what, and Wylan he knows is at the lab blowing things up. They hopefully won’t be back until after the sun goes down.
He’s not necessarily looking for anything in particular, but as he sneaks into Wylan’s room, he has to pause and think about what he possibly is expecting. The boy’s room is exactly like he imagined, a bit messy but in a lived-in way. There’s sheet music scattered all over the floor, both printed like professional pieces and some that look handwritten.
Careful not to touch anything, Matthias treads lightly as he picks his way through the room to the desk in the corner. Though Wylan prefers to do most of the chemistry in the lab lest he damage anything in his room, there’s a few vials propped up on the edge of the desk. Like most of Wylan’s things, they’re labelled with music notes so he can read them.
Except for one.
It’s maybe not what he was anticipating—which, what was he hoping for? A note that clearly reads “Kaz and Wylan are dating”?—but it’s something nonetheless. Something, at least that is clearly labelled in Kaz’s writing, not Wylan’s.
The notes are a little shaky, placed awkwardly like Kaz didn’t really know how to space them, but it’s unmistakably a Wylan-style label not in Wylan’s handwriting. Namely, Kaz’s. Matthias isn’t entirely sure how he knows it’s Kaz’s and not, say, Jesper’s, but he does.
Maybe it’s the spikiness of the drawing, maybe it’s the pen that was used, but he’s certain the label was made by the demjin himself. And…that means literally nothing. He sags with defeat, having dug up the exact same amount of evidence that he’d laughed at the girls about: zero.
Kaz’s office is next, so he sneaks up another flight of stairs and carefully eases the door open. Kaz has been leaving it unlocked more and more now that they’re the only people in the building, but Matthias still breathes a sigh of relief when the knob turns under his touch.
Much like Wylan’s room, the office matches perfectly with Kaz’s personality and vibe. It’s a cold, impersonal space, but there are little touches here and there that hint at the human-ness of the person who inhabits it. The first place he checks is the desk, where all he finds are stacks of papers filled with numbers and words and ‘sign here’s.
Disgusted, he moves to close the drawer without disturbing anything, but a small scrap of paper falls out. Picking it up gingerly, Matthias squints at the words scrawled on it in Kaz’s handwriting. “Wylan gift,” it reads.
Gift? There are no major holidays coming up, as far as Matthias knows, at least any that would include gift giving. And Wylan’s birthday has long since passed, so that’s not it either. Maybe Wylan is making him a gift? Was this just code for more bombs?
Matthias sighs, sliding the scrap back into the stack it fell out of and closing the desk drawer. Perhaps he shouldn’t have judged the girls too harshly for jumping to conclusions. Kaz and Wylan, if they really were dating, weren’t making it easy to find out. It was all too simple to take a few hints and spin them into a whole tangle of yarn.
Just then, he hears footsteps coming up the stairs. Kaz’s footsteps, if the click of the cane is any indicator. Matthias casts around the room wildly for somewhere to hide, but his big Fjerdan body makes it pretty much impossible to squeeze in anywhere. He clambers out the window awkwardly, unused to navigating on such small ledges but strong enough to hold himself up with ease. He really hopes none of the other Crows are on the street below.
Kaz seems to be alone, since Matthias can’t hear any other footsteps or voices. He listens to the sounds of Kaz washing his hands, pacing about the room, and opening and closing the desk drawer no less than five times.
Fingers starting to ache from holding onto the ledge, Matthias slowly starts climbing down. The mission was a bust anyway. But then there’s a knock at the door, and he hears—who else?—Wylan’s cheery tone. So he stays, straining to eavesdrop while not giving himself away by falling off the wall.
“...missed you,” Wylan is saying.
Kaz replies, “I know,” and Wylan laughs loudly.
It’s quiet for a while, just the sounds of movement and the squeak of the bedsprings. Matthias resists the urge to climb back up and investigate. They clearly weren’t having sex or anything of the sort, so he’s curious as to what they could possibly be doing. But—their privacy. He’d gotten on Nina and Inej for being so nosy, and then promptly found himself outside Kaz’s room in the dark while he eavesdropped on Kaz and Wylan. He shakes his head at himself.
“Is this okay?” he hears Wylan ask. There’s no response, but in the silence that follows, he hears a deep, relaxed sigh as Matthias assumes Kaz gave consent to whatever it was. Wylan’s, he’s pretty sure, because he’s heard Wylan make that kind of noise when he cuddles with someone.
Is that what they were doing? Cuddling? Because if so, maybe Jesper and Nina and Inej were onto something. And maybe Kaz and Wylan were actually happy and safe because they were with each other.
That was a nice thought to have.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
V. Jesper (again)
Can I be close to you?
Oh-oh-oh-ooh, ooh
Can I be close to you?
Oh-oh-oh-ooh, ooh
Jesper hears Nina, Inej, and Matthias whispering in the dining room when he comes in, so of course he barges in and demands to know what they’re discussing. As he expected, they’re talking about the Kaz-Wylan situation.
He hadn’t realized they’d taken him so seriously as to go do their own reconnaissance, but as they unpack all the information, he figures out that they actually had a lot more proof than he’d had when he’d first questioned the relationship. But they were so boring! They were fine leaving it be.
As in, they didn’t want to do anything about it. They wanted to “respect Kaz and Wylan’s privacy.” Which, duh, he does too. He also wants to know what’s going on.
“Look,” he says. “Aren’t you a tiny bit curious what they’re hiding?”
“Yes,” Inej says patiently. “But I know they’ll tell us when they feel ready.”
Jesper pouts. “You’re just saying that because you know Kaz tells you everything.”
“He didn’t tell me whatever this is,” she shoots back with a shrug. “So that means he doesn’t want me to know, and I’m respecting his choice.”
“You went to spy on him. And so did you!” He directs the last part at Matthias, who shifts in his seat.
“I was not going to do anything with the information,” Matthias says defensively. “I just wanted to get more information to see if your theory held up.”
“And it did,” Jesper replies triumphantly. “They’re hiding something. Like a relationship.”
“That’s not what any of this means,” Nina tells him. “Wylan jokes around with all of us, he cuddles with all of us, he makes food for all of us. None of that is specific to one person.”
“Yeah, but Kaz doesn’t do any of that with anyone except Wylan.” Frustrated, Jesper jumps to his feet. “We’re missing something here.”
“Maybe that’s good,” Inej says gently. “They’ll let us know when they want to.”
“Just drop it,” Matthias advises.
Jesper grimaces, but he does. Until he jogs up the stairs to his room and runs into Wylan coming down the stairs. The stairs from Kaz’s room.
Kaz’s room, where Kaz is, where Wylan shouldn’t have been because Wylan was at the lab. Or so he said. Wylan’s face goes bright red, matching the wild mess of hair sticking up in every direction. He hurriedly tries to smooth it down, face still flaming, as Jesper watches in shock.
“Hi,” Wylan says awkwardly before he rushes into his room and closes the door. Jesper wheels around and sprints back to the others, recounting every detail as they look on in patient attentiveness.
“His hair was messed up,” Jesper blurts, “just like it was when I caught Kaz playing with it that one time!”
Nina stifles a laugh. “Jes, have you seen the way Wylan messes with his hair? Knowing him, he did that to himself.”
“Or,” Jesper stresses, “Kaz was combing his fingers through Wylan’s hair, which is not something he does to any of us, and it’s because they’re actually dating and have been hiding it from us.”
“Who’s dating?” Wylan asks as Jesper falls off his stool.
“No one,” Inej says, glaring daggers at Jesper. “He’s being delusional. And invading people’s privacy.”
“Hey!” Jesper cries. “I’m not the invader of privacy here.”
Wylan looks between them with a raised eyebrow, so reminiscent of Kaz’s incredulous looks that the group exchanges a glance with each other. Last time they’d checked, that was not an expression that Wylan normally used. Unless he was spending a lot of time with a certain someone whose mannerisms were starting to rub off on him…
But they let it drop in favor of a late group dinner, and Jesper’s all but forgotten about everything by the time they finally go to bed.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
+1
Can I be close to you?
Kaz and Wylan break the news on a Sunday night. It’s been a few weeks of the Crows sneaking around spying, and while they don’t fully know how many times they’ve been caught together, it’s clear that everyone suspects something. So Wylan suggests coming clean, and surprisingly, Kaz agrees.
Everyone is gathered in the kitchen for another debriefing session—Kaz had caught Jesper lurking outside his office only a few minutes before and they’re clearly meeting to make a new game plan—when Kaz and Wylan walk in.
Holding hands.
Jesper, who had been talking, freezes. Nina’s eyes widen and she jabs Matthias in the side. Only Inej looks unfazed, though whether that’s because she already knew or because she was better at masking her surprise Kaz didn’t know. (Knowing her, either was a solid option).
He just goes about his business like normal, though he keeps a firm grip on Wylan’s hand. He’s still wearing his gloves, but the fact that he’s holding Wylan’s hand is clearly short-circuiting Jesper’s brain. Nina and Matthias both recover quickly, Nina shooting the boys a teasing smile and a wink as Wylan flushes bright red.
Matthias looks a bit stunned, but he pats Wylan on the back gently and whispers “Good job, demjin,” in Kaz’s ear as he passes. Inej is just smiling smugly, so Kaz is pretty sure she figured it out for sure at some point in the past few weeks.
The only one still struck dumb is Jesper, who keeps looking back and forth between them like he can’t figure out whether or not he’s dreaming. “Come on,” Kaz laughs. “You know you were the only one who caught us definitively twice.”
This only serves to make Jesper more stunned, which makes Wylan laugh.
“Teasing-” Jesper sputters. “You’re teasing me!”
“So what if I am?” Kaz retorts, looping his arm over Wylan’s shoulders and pulling the other boy closer to his body. “After all, it took an awfully long time for you to figure it out.”
And with the warmth of the boy he loves at his side, surrounded by his family, he marvels at the look on Jesper’s face and wonders how the Bastard of the Barrel got so lucky.
If you've never participated in a Secret Santa exchange before or would like some more guidance, here's an explanation of how everything will run.
Secret Santas are - as the title suggests - secret exhanges. You will be assigned another person who you will create a Grishaverse-themed gift for, and someone else will make you one in return!
The event will run as follows:
You can sign up via this form. It includes a place where you can add in your likes/dislikes so your present can be tailored to you.
On November 3rd, we will send you a message with the Tumblr URL (username) of your giftee. At the same time, a document with everyone's preferences will be posted to this account so you can find what your giftee would like to receive.
If you have any questions for your giftee, you can send them an anonymous ask or you can drop us a message that we will pass on. NEVER REVEAL YOUR IDENTITY! It ruins the fun!
We will post a series of prompts on Tumblr/in the Discord server so that you can get to know everyone better and make friends :)
On December 8th, we will send a check in message just to see how you're getting on. Failure to check in after repeated attempts will be seen as you dropping out of the event, and someone else will take your place.
On December 25th, everyone posts their gifts! We ask that you post everything to Tumblr so that your giftee is guaranteed to see it, but you are of course welcome to post it anywhere else you would like. Our AO3 collection is here.
For more information, here is the Schedule & FAQ.
Please let us know if you have any questions, I'm always happy to answer them.
As a part of the Grishaverse Secret Santa this year, we're posting an icebreaker question each week that you can send to your giftees via an anonymous ask if you wish to learn more about them.
I'm curious:
What's your favourite quote/scene from the books or Shadow and Bone show?
