jealousy, jealousy ✩ jay halstead
summary: in which it takes an impromptu hospital visit for jay to realise what he so nearly lost.
warnings: swearing, drink getting spiked, angst bby, also hailey slander that i do not mean oops :(
requested?: yess
I’m so glad you’re back, I’ve missed your writing! can I request one where reader and jay are dating and they have a big fight right before they go out to a party or something. Then while you’re out there’s lots of tension and you’re avoiding each other but your drink gets spiked. And one of your friends noticed you’re not ok and tells jay and he helps you and takes you to med and apologises for not looking out for you
a/n: ur gonna make me cry thank u for ur request and kind words <3
Contrary to what her mother used to tell people, Y/n Y/l/n didn’t like fighting with those she loved. In fact, she’d go as far as to say that she tried to avoid confrontation at all costs, sickened by the way she’d feel after an argument or the feeling that the bond with someone she cared about was at jeopardy over uncommunicated words and a raised voice. That’s why, when she had sensed something off with Jay she had not shied away from questioning him about it.
“Have I done something wrong?” Crawling closer to her boyfriend that had been lying on the bed watching her get ready in menacing silence for the last 30 minutes. Y/n’s chin rested on his bare chest, watching keenly to observe the beauty that rested in his face. The offer of her small smile on her pink stained lips was not reciprocated as it commonly was on a day to day basis. Instead his lips stayed in a straight line, eyes full of fire that Y/n convinced herself wasn’t meant to scorch her, but the longer the silence continued the more doubts she carried.
“I don’t know, have you?” His voice was accusingly stern. Fuck, she thought coming around to the reality that she was most likely approaching an argument with the only man who had ever loved her wholeheartedly. It wasn’t like they hadn’t argued before, but something told her that this wasn’t one of the occasions that what was about to follow would be dissolved by the time they left the house.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Pushing herself up, she kneeled beside him, slightly wounded by the tone he’d chosen to use so casually. The distance that had been created between them physically felt like it was growing with every pause and sharp glare.
“Yesterday I went to find you during my lunch break. Thought we could go to that sushi place you like, but instead I got downstairs and Trudy tells me you’ve already gone to eat with Carter.” With a swipe of her eyes over his face, Y/n felt stupid for not having seen it before. The way his eyebrows twitched down, eyes greener than usual and a frown that didn’t resemble sadness, but frustration. Was he… jealous?
Idiotically, she had gotten so caught up in the ridiculous idea that Jay was envious of Carter, a snort of laughter exhaled from her nose. Carter and Y/n had known each other way before the woman had met her boyfriend. They’d gone to high school together, before both attending the academy. It felt like fate that the pair had then been partnered up, but that’s where their connection ended. If their relationship was to be more than something would have happened way back when. It wasn’t like Jay didn’t know this, they had met on multiple occasions with her partner labelling her good friend as a ‘good guy’. Oh how the tables had turned.
“This is funny, is it?” Jay fumed, unable to believe that she could even find an ounce of this situation humorous. His teeth grinded against each other, hands fisting at the sheets beneath him, his frustration not depleting.
“Kind of, yeah.” Realising that there was no room for jokes, Y/n felt her face harden. She couldn’t believe the first conversation she was having with her boyfriend on a Saturday evening was about her coworker that was suddenly a threat to the man she assured everyday she loved more than anything. It felt like she was trapped in some kind of sand timer. With each second the conversation continued, an ounce of tension filled the bedroom and would continue to do so until Y/n was completely paralysed by the atmosphere created. “Baby, he's my partner, I think you’re overreacting a little?”
“Overreacting? Y/n he’s everywhere!” The anger that had been bubbling in his chest started overflowing into his words, each syllable leaving his lips like a strategically fired bullet. “I mean you guys literally have no boundaries. Like last week I came downstairs to find him sitting besides you at the table eating our fruit loops. And at work he’s glued to your side quite literally, I saw him waiting outside the women’s toilets for you. Then when we finally get some time to relax at Molly’s, alone, he’s always at our table with a drink he’s ordered only for you. Not to mention his eyes are always on your ass, like the sick little perv he is.”
“Jay!” Y/n objects, shaking her head at the out of order comment. She realised he was pissed off, but Carter had not done anything wrong. Sure he enjoyed spending time with her, but she really didn’t think Jay could speak considering his relationship with his current and old partner.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Y/n. The guy is clearly in love with you and you are fucking blind if you can’t see that!” Throwing his arms in the air, Y/n couldn’t listen to anymore of the rant she’d accidentally released when asking what she thought was a simple question. Really she was only expecting a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, yet here she was. Pushing herself away from the bed, she stormed back and forth at the end of the bed before distracting herself with covering her lashes with some mascara.
“I don’t want to talk to you when you are like this.” Mumbling not wanting to poke herself in the eye, she avoided where Jay was staring back at her in the mirror. She knew that her talk with Jay wasn’t heading anywhere productive, there was no way of reasoning with him when so much pent up anger was dictating his mood and words. Hopefully he would be back to normal, or at least semi back to normal, by the time they had to leave for Georgia’s party in approximately 10 minutes. Jay hadn’t been too keen to go, knowing the people Y/n’s friends surrounded herself with weren’t the greatest, but Y/n had insisted and managed to twist his arm.
Though right now, Y/n couldn’t think of anything she’d rather do less.
“Why? ‘Cause you know I’m right. I’m not hearing you deny it!”
“Are you kidding me?” And she was off. Jay had put too much pressure on the neck of the bottle that had been containing her irritation, resulting in the cork to pop out and her composure to break down replaced with a stream of suppressed thoughts. “I am sorry if my professional partnership with Carter is threatening you, but the way you are acting right now is not okay. You never see me questioning your relationship with Hailey or back when you were with Erin. So what? I get along with Carter, he’s my friend, Jay.”
“You might want to tell him that, because I don’t think you’ve made that clear.” The make up bag in her hand fell to the floor when the mumble became audible to her ears. Their eyes now collaborating in a painful staring contest, each as angered as the other.
“So now this is all my fault?” Unbelievable, she thought. He had the nerve to question her loyalty? Her faithfulness? “Because I’m the one that let my partner kiss me aren’t I? Oh wait…” In hindsight she may have pushed too far, but in the moment she felt no guilt, keeping her head held high as Jay sat up, an uncomfortable expression on his face.
“I told you that was a mistake… Hailey didn’t know I was in a relationship and-.” His justification wasn’t needed, she’d heard it before both by the mouth of her boyfriend and his partner. She’d agreed to forgive them both, but it wasn’t something she could easily forget. “Why are you making this about me and Hailey? This is about Carter and you!”
“Of course it is, because I’m the one with the villainous partner. God forbid the perfect little Hailey did something wrong, huh?” Grabbing her things once again and returning them to the dresser, Y/n didn’t look at the expression on his face, set on getting the hell out of there. She utterly despised the atmosphere breeding in their home.
“Why are you so threatened by her?” The question felt like a slap in the face, and for a moment Y/n started feeling a deep pain in her chest. With her back facing Jay, her shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath trying to stay under control and not overpowered by her emotions.
“Oh please, threatened? Absolutely not. But if you want to talk about partnerships without boundaries, I think you need to look at your own before you start accusing others. Like for starters, why did you give her a key to our place without asking me? And why have every single one of our dates in the last month been interrupted by a call from her with paperwork that could definitely wait until the morning. Lest we forget the time she got wasted 30 minutes into my birthday party and insisted you and only you took her home only for you to not come back the entire night.”
The longer she went on, the more foolish she felt. Y/n had spouted off things she had shrugged off and kept restrained in the back of her mind for months. It wasn’t that she disliked her Hailey, in fact she wouldn’t put past them having been good friends had everything not played out the way it had. Maybe she was blind in seeing the ways Carter had gotten in between her and Jay, but she hadn’t missed the way the blonde had wormed her way in the midst of her relationship.
“I’ll meet you outside,” She announced, feeling her need to continue arguing growing insignificant. Each of them felt the punches of the other’s words against their hearts, but both were far too stubborn to face the damage they had done.
--
No words were exchanged between the couple from the moment they got in the cab to when they passed the threshold of the club. Y/n couldn’t help but feel strange not having her hand secured in Jay’s grasp. It felt second nature, and now the feeling of their fingers not being intertwined felt stranger than them being in such a way.
“IF IT ISN’T MY FAVOURITE COUPLE!” The yell that admitted Georgia’s mouth challenged the volume at which the repetitive lyrics were being churned out of the speaker. The woman, who was sporting a plastic tiara and birthday sash didn’t waste time, pulling Y/n and Jay into her embrace. ‘I’M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, Y/N, I SPECIFICALLY SAID NO ONE COULD LOOK HOTTER THAN ME ON MY BIRTHDAY AND YET HERE YOU ARE.” Soon her hand was slapping Y/n’s butt, sending a small yelp to slip from her lips.
“I’m getting a drink.” Jay mumbled, though he was gone before either woman could process what he’d said. Frowning, Y/n watched as he walked away, wishing she could start the entire day over again. She didn’t regret what she had said, she meant every word. Though it hadn’t been how she planned on getting the truth out of Jay, or sharing how she felt about the past.
“DON’T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,” Georgia was cut off by her burp that had her giggling for a good 5 seconds afterwards. “BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD DO WITH A GOOD DANCE AND I THINK I HEAR OUR SONG STARTING TO PLAYYY!” It was a complete lie, both of them knew that. They didn’t have a song, but that wouldn’t stop the mighty but miniature Georgia Russo.
Gripping her friend's hand, Y/n was being led into the lion’s den with just an intoxicated 5ft woman to defend her. The heat emitting off the bodies around them was a little gross, but as Y/n’s hips began moving, the disgust was forgotten and she fell into an addictive rhythm. It had been so long since she had gone into a club that didn’t have to do with a call of a disruptive or aggressive drunk club goer, oh how she’d missed the feeling.
Song after song passed, until Y/n’s eyes came to focus on her surroundings to find Georgia was grinding on some tattooed, half naked man whilst a brunette that was indeed not Jay had found himself behind her. As they moved her attention should have been on her new found dance partner, though all she could find herself looking at was the green eyes that studied her from one of the surrounding booths.
His tongue was trapped between his teeth. Closed fists resting on the table with a few empty glasses surrounding him, though there was no one around him to blame the missing alcohol on. He watched the way the man’s hands hovered over her waist, having been given direct instructions that he could not touch what was not his. She may have been pissed at Jay and wanting nothing more than to forget his existence but she had enough respect not to feed into the thoughts that plagued his mind.
“Hey,” The man called out, as the song fizzled into the next. Y/n’s head turned away from Jay to peer over her shoulder at the sweaty individual. “You want to get a drink, I think I’m about to pass out?” Hesitating, not wanting to leave Georgia with someone neither of them knew, the stranger didn’t give her time to think, placing his hands on her shoulders and guiding her towards the bar.
Sat side by side on the bar stool, Y/n placed her phone on the counter top, as the man besides her ordered for them. Realising she had already been in the club for nearly two hours, she was about to go grab it again when it was suddenly elbowed onto the floor.
“Oh, shit!” Y/n immediately hopped off her stool to save what she hoped wasn’t a broken phone, sighing in relief when she saw only the smallest of scratches on her already wrecked screen protector. “I’m so sorry, I’m so clumsy.” Running a hand through his hair, something felt off to the off duty officer though she couldn’t put her finger on it. Glancing back around to look for Jay, she had hoped he may have picked up on a similar vibe with the man, though thinking about it she was sure she couldn’t talk to her boyfriend about the man she’d been dancing with all night.
When she was facing the front, she realised sweaty stranger man (she really wished she’d asked him his name) had his glass in hand and was gesturing towards her. Picking it up, she didn’t even have time to peer into the glass to see what she was drinking, before he’d necked his.
“Go on, try to get it down in one!” he cheered on, slapping the bartop a couple of times in hopes it would encourage her.
“Is it supposed to look like this?” It was murky, like it had been discoloured somehow. Though Y/n couldn’t see anything. The man insisted it was fine, and with too much trust the liquid had disappeared down her throat moments later, face wrinkling in disgust when the taste kicked in. “Okay, you have shite taste in drinks.” Laughter surrounded her, the sound echoing strangely in her mind.
“Another?”
“Uh, go on then.”
It had only been a couple drinks, with minimal chatter between. Y/n had no intentions of ever knowing the man besides her. He didn’t share the same depths as Jay, nor could he ever compare to the way he looked so naturally handsome no matter what he was doing. Whoever this man was he was not and never would be her Jay.
“Come on, princess, one more dance?” His voice had become distorted, as his hand rested once again on her shoulder, though she couldn’t feel it. Waves of unfamiliarity washed upon her body, as if something foriegn was invading her nerves in an attempt to shut her down.
“U-uh, no, no I don’t think so.” Pushing herself to her feet, the feeling only got worse. Her hands gripping the stool, wondering how two drinks had hit her so hard. She was sure the man was calling out for her to come back, though she had become dead set on getting air.
Her head was in a bubble, her vision deteriorating with each step she took. Her ears felt like they had been clogged with water, her head becoming far too heavy for her to carry on her neck. What was wrong with her? She managed to get herself outside, feeling the cool breath wrap its arms around her and hold her tightly.
“Y-Y/n?” Georgia, she thought. However by the time she heard her voice her vision was completely gone all together, body doubled over with all fours on the cobbled back alley. Never had anyone seen a birthday girl, that had been drinking since 3pm, sober up so quickly until Georgia saw the state of one of her dearest friends. “What have you taken? Have you drank too much?”
“J-Jay, I want Jay.”
“Y/n, what have you taken?”
With no response, the panic started to spread when people noticed that Y/n was unresponsive, now laying in Georgia’s lap. Slapping her hand lightly against Y/n’s cheek, there were a few light groans until utter silence. The artificial blonde glanced up at the man she’d come out to join for a cigarette.
“Stay here with her, I’ll be back in a second.” The man, a little traumatised at the sight, nodded absentmindedly. Georgia strode quickly back into the club, pushing through crowds of people until she spotted the man feeling sorry for himself alone at a table for 6. “Jay, Jay, Jay.” She breathed out in a rushed breath.
“Not now Georgia.” He groaned into his beer, feeling it not even plaster over the cracks that came with a broken heart. The more beers he went through, the more he’d hoped he would feel confident about what he had said to his one true love. Yet all he felt was a sickening sense of guilt and shame for scaring off the only person he could ever want into the arms of someone else.
“I’m not messing with you right now, Jay. It’s Y/n.” No more needed to be said for Jay to rush to his feet, pushing aside the feeling of the booze hitting. Hearing the frightened tone of a girl he’d once compared to the effects of cocaine made him feel like he’d not even touched a drop of the stuff.
“Where?” Georgia nodded her head, a little baffled at what had happened. Leading the man out of the club, she stopped before she got to the girl that was leant against the wall, head lulling back with no sign of consciousness. Jay’s eyes broke out into tears as he dived to hold her close to him, his hands caressing her cold cheeks that he loved to peck when she expected it least. Sometimes he’d do it purposefully at work just to see her embarrassed as Platt yelled some insult or her colleagues whispered. But never had she asked him to stop.
“Who’s got a car? I need to borrow someone’s car!” he yelled, knowing that there was no use calling an ambulance who wouldn’t get here as fast as he’d arrive at med. The man next to Georgia gingerly raised his hand as the girl beside him grabbed the keys from his pocket and followed Jay who’d peeled his girlfriend from the floor and into his arms. “It’s gonna be alright, Baby. I got you.”
“Is it safe for you to drive?”
“Well either I drive or you do.” That shut Georgia right up, as Jay placed Y/n in the back seat where her friend sat with Y/n’s head resting in her lap. The drive was so quick, Jay was in utter shock they hadn’t been pulled over. What seems like seconds after pulling away from the club, they were in front of Med.
Holding her close to his chest as he carried her through the doorway, eyes followed him as he stood teary eyed calling for someone to help. For anyone to help. His mind was punished for leaving things with Y/n on such a sour note, what if this was the last time he saw her? He’d made her feel like he didn’t trust her. Like he didn’t love her. How could he ever forgive himself?
“Jay?” Ethan called out as he soon realised a stretcher had been rolled over to him, Dr Choi trying to pry the girl from his grip. Slowly he released his grasp, comfortably placing her onto the mobile bed though he knew she probably had no idea he was even there. “Jay, what happened?”
He had nothing. He didn’t know what he was meant to say. Why hadn’t he been keeping an eye on her? After he saw her heading to the bar with that guy he couldn’t bring himself to see what happened next. He knew that Y/n wasn’t the kind of girl that acting out so irrationally after a fight, but maybe he thought he deserved to feel that kind of pain. Just punishment.
“I think she took something… Or someone put something in her drink. Someone said that they thought they saw some guy put something in her drink when she dropped her phone.” Georgia read from her phone, hoping the information would help cure her sick friend. Just like Jay, she found herself cursing herself out for leaving Y/n with someone she, herself, didn’t know let alone her friend know.
“Okay, we’ll do some tests and let you know. Take a seat, okay?” Patting Jay’s arm, Ethan ran after where his newest patient and fellow friend had been wheeled off to. Whilst Georgia went to make a move towards the waiting room, Jay didn’t budge from where Y/n had been taken from him.
“She’s in good hands, let’s go, okay?” Rubbing his arm in what she hoped was a comforting manner, Jay came round enough to follow Georgia. His mind was still very much concerned with his girlfriend. He had never been a religious man, yet sitting in the stiff hospital chair he found himself praying to whatever was watching over them with some kind of higher power. He begged silently that he’d do better, as long as they didn’t take the one good thing from his side.
--
One moment Y/n could hardly feel anything, and then suddenly she felt everything. Her body felt like one of those punching bags she liked to watch Jay punch whenever they ventured down to the gym on their block. Her limbs were paralysed in pain, along with her head that couldn’t push itself from where it was firmly rested on the pillows.
“Baby? H-hey, baby, you hear me?” Jay, that’s who she needed, Jay. Blinking her eyes open, her hands squeezed around the large, rough one that was clinging onto her with so much love it was almost suffocating.
“Jay-,” suddenly a rush of tears came to flood her beautiful eyes that Jay had missed as they’d been closed for the last six hours. “Jay I was so scared, I don’t know what happened but one minute I was fine and then I was- I don’t know. Oh my, I was so scared, Jay.” His name brought her so much comfort, falling off her tongue and not in a spiteful way. It felt like home wrapping her in a hug so nurturing that she never wanted to go out ever again. The sobs broke the man’s heart, as he stood up and went to immediately remove the tears from cursing her skin with red streaks.
“I know, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I let this happen,” Y/n’s head snapped in his direction, before it shook. She would never let him feel blame for whatever had happened in the club, she had wanted to get back at him. She wanted to feel like his existence was not needed, though this was the predicament she ended up in when he wasn’t by her side. “No it’s all my fault. If I had spent time actually looking after you instead of caught up in some delusional affair maybe none of this would have happened. I love you, I should be protecting you. I’m so sorry I’ve been such a shitty boyfriend.” Leaning forward to press kiss after kiss around her face, her childish laughter had him smiling as he pressed one longing peck against her lips.
“I’m sorry too,” Y/n croaked, pecking his lips again an addict for the way they made her entire body buzz in a way no drug or drink ever could. “Carter may be my work partner but I never want that getting in the way of our relationship. I don’t want anyone in this entire world other than you and nothing could change that. And I’m sorry for what I said about Hailey, maybe I am a little threatened by her. She is beautiful and I know that your bond is different to ours and any other, I just don’t want to share you with anyone else.”
Bringing her hand up to stroke his cheek, Jay leaned into the touch, eyes flicking closed. Y/n smiled widely, enjoying how much power she had over the man whose heart belonged to her and her’s to him.
“No, you were right. I need to separate my work relationships from my personal ones. I never want you feeling like you are second to anyone because you aren’t. You will be my number one for as long as I’m alive, I promise.” The kiss that followed was much longer than the peck they had started with, a healing one that did what all the booze and dancing couldn’t do. The two souls reunited from where they’d become torn.
“Ah, so it’s true,” the tired voice called from the door, turning to face Georgia that was standing with three coffee cups, Y/n’s lips tipped in a grin. “I heard the ER’s sexiest patient had risen from the dead.” Taking the seat on the opposite side of Jay, who’d returned to his seat with a proud smile. When he went to reach for one of the drinks, assuming at least one was for him, his hand was smacked away and suddenly they were all consumed by the woman who was fighting a hangover she’d hoped she had sobered up enough to avoid. “Look I get you are still in hero mode, but don’t get cocky, detective.”
Y/n’s eyebrows dropped as she looked between the two.
“Hero mode?” Unsure if she even wanted to know what her friend meant by the comment. Georgia snorted, picking at the chocolate M&Ms she’d produced from her bra.
“Yes, my dear,” She hummed, gesturing towards the patient’s boyfriend, “You should have seen this guy. An absolute unit. He turned into Clark Kent or something when he saw you, driving you here when he really shouldn’t have. I mean I’m sure we nearly died like, i don’t know, five times-.” As Georgia continued to recount the story word for word, the couple glanced at each other with a look that spoke a thousand words. Y/n’s fingers slotted between his, wishing never to go another day without knowing this feeling. Without knowing that she was the luckiest woman in Chicago that could say she had Jay Halstead protecting her at all costs.
Always.
