It's sooo interesting how much focus the show puts on hanks ptsd and anxiety, and directly mirrors it with Jesse. Who. Like. On a daily basis, witnesses and lives through, very similar and worse stuff.
Hank, until he himself kills tuco in s2, has a cruel and even joyful attitude towards crime scenes. He laughs about them, shares them with his family. Always as a way to hold up his masculinity. But then he kills tuco, and then has to deal with the ptsd of that. He has panic attacks, thinks he's being attacked in his home when his poorly sealed craft beer bottles explode, and just barely survives the tortuga explosion bc the sight of a dead man's head on a turtle gives him another anxiety attack, which in turn exposes him to even more death and his colleagues losing limbs. He tries to keep up his toxic masculinity facade after that, and clings to it, but we do see his change starting there. I'm not well versed on the later seasons, I just know that the time he is bed bound give him some more time to both let out all his horribleness, and to become better at his job. He shows us a pretty realistic reaction to all the horrible situations he's being thrust into. All while having a pretty stable home life and loving family.
Jesse meanwhile. Jesus that boy needs so many hugs.
He kills a man and dissolves him in acid in the very first episodes. He keeps getting beat up, bad enough that he has to be treated at the hospital. He has an already fractured relationship to his parents, which is why he stays at his aunts place, whom he took care of before her death from cancer. Which is likely why he accepts to work with Walter. To help him. And he keeps being confronted with excessive violence and death, while his situation keeps getting worse, so he finds himself bound to Walter. He has literally no security net. All his friendships are conditional, and based on drugs. It's a vicious circle. No one to process his feelings with, so he turns to the drugs. To forget, to numb. Etc. Everywhere he turns there is more rejection, conditional relationships, and so much violence.
And just. That one moment in s2. After hank thinks he's being attacked in his own home, and nearly shoots marie, directly followed by Walter arriving at Jesse's home with the gun, to 'take care' of the junkies who stole from them... which is again followed by way more and more horrible violence. With the kid Jesse keeps trying to protect and parent while he's there... it just hit a very very soft spot in me. Someone please take care of Jesse. Someone cook him a meal and tug him into bed. Give him 6000h of therapy and a stable home. Give him 2,5 friends (or more) who just like him and want to hang out with him.
