because of me?
Will Harry be able to find his way back to his family?
Word count: 6548
A/N: hi friends! you all wanted a part two so i hope you all read the conclusion to the styles family as they navigate through a hard time. please come tell me what you thought i really enjoyed writing this part even if it took me a month to decide what direction i wanted to go.
Warnings: angst (happy ending)
Part One: why is daddy sad?
_____
After Harry left, Y/N wasn’t sure how to feel.
A part of her felt guilty for not having done anything sooner, and another felt abandoned because, in three months, he managed to leave them with a goodbye and a kiss to each of them. Saylor, the oldest, understood that Harry wouldn’t be there anymore and that he might be happy for a change. While Lucy understood he was going on a long trip and returning in a few weeks.
Except, a few weeks turned into two months. The US tour kept getting extended as fans begged for more and more dates. There was an album to release soon, and Y/N knew nothing about it when most times, Harry was excited to share his ideas with her. She was always one of the first to listen, and now this new album, she did not have a single idea of what it was about.
Harry’s calls were not frequent, but when he did call, he talked to the kids for hours, sometimes draining her phone battery and cutting him off mid-story. Lucy, Y/N noticed, held on to Harry’s every word. Her eyes would widen in amazement when he’d show them the stage and even sitting in Sarah’s seat in front of the drums. While Saylor sat there asking a few questions and listening to his dad. There was a disconnect from Saylor; with Y/N, he was her affectionate and bubbly son, but with Harry, he became silent, almost closed off she wanted to say.
“Saylor?”
“Yeah, mum.”
“Do you want to make cookies with me?”
“Brownies?” He countered.
Y/N chuckled, having expected the answers. “Yes, baby. I have everything ready.”
“Can you tie my apron, Mumma?”
Saylor quickly grabbed the apron Y/N leaves hanging in the kitchen for both him and Lucy when they have the sudden urge to help her in the kitchen. Y/N guides Saylor in turning around and makes a knot for him, tight enough it won’t be loose but easy enough for Saylor to tug on and take off when they finish.
He turns around with a dimpled smile, “ready, Mumma!”
His apron reads “Chef Saylor,” embroidered in red thread on his chest. It was a gift from Gemma, and she made sure to make one for Lucy, although she prefers sitting on the countertop and munching on fruits and chocolates.
The process of baking goes pretty well. Y/N keeps a watchful eye on Lucy as she plays with the monster trucks her friend Griffin gifted Lucy for her birthday last month. Harry made it back for the party and left soon after, to no one’s surprise.
“Petal?”
“Yes, Mumma,” he answers while staying focused on mixing the ingredients.
“Are you feeling alright?”
“Happy.”
“That’s good. Right now?”
“Mhm…”
She hesitated but knew she needed to try because when she was young and hurting, Y/N hated that her parents never knew she was upset or angry that she had to wear a mask all the time.
“Are you happy all the time?”
Y/N saw him stop mixing for a second before continuing like nothing had happened.
“Think it’s finished,” he moved the bowl over to Y/N, who didn’t push him and let him help pour the batter into the pan. She did the final step alone, not wanting Saylor to get burned from the preheated oven.
“Job well done, Saylor.”
Saylor stepped off his stool and gave your waist a tight squeeze.
“Love you, Mumma.”
“I love you so much, petal. Now go wash up. I’ll clean the dishes.”
He runs up the steps, and Y/N sighs. It’s hard being a single parent. It’s even harder having no one to talk this out with. She really is all alone in this when Y/N was promised she would never be.
_____
Dinner and brownies were a success.
Y/N is in bed reading her book when she hears a small knock on the door and sees it being pushed open. Saylor, in his snug Bluey pajama set, walks towards her.
“My little love, you alright? Can’t sleep.”
He nods his head. He climbs up on the bed. Y/N giggles as she watches him shake off his slippers from his feet. “Come on, I’ll give you cuddles.”
Saylor gives her a giant smile, hurrying to get tucked under the blankets. He lets out a deep sigh when he’s settled next Y/N.
“Alright, Mumma was reading. Is it okay if I do that for a little longer, or do you want to sleep?”
“Can we sleep, please?”
Y/N grins pushing his hair out of his face to look at his face that resembles every bit of Harry from when he was a child. “Let’s sleep, then.”
She reaches to turn off the light and slides lower to rest her head on her pillow, letting Saylor adjust himself as he lays his head on her chest. Y/N runs her hand down his back in soothing circles, hoping it will help him sleep. It’s quiet, and she thinks he’s gone down when she finally decides to close her eyes and do the same.
“Mummy?”
“Saylor? Are you okay?”
“Is Daddy coming back?”
“Not for a few weeks. Remember he told you he’s singing for his fans every night.” Y/N doesn't know where the conversation is heading, but she doesn't feel ready. “He’s going to call tomorrow. You can ask him when he's coming home. You know Daddy loves talking to you.”
“What if he’s not coming home?”
“Saylor,”
“What if he loves his fans more than us, and he forgets about us?”
“Saylor, your dad loves you. He tells you every time he calls.”
“Not like you, not all day.”
She sighs, “no, not every day.”
“You love us?”
“More than all the stars in the universe,” she reminds him.
“Enough, that’s enough,” he whispers.
Y/N feels her heartbreak, her son is so young, but he picks up on the emotions and dynamics of the relationship really well. This is more than Y/N was prepared for; maybe it’s time for a visit to a therapist because Saylor, from a young age, picked up on Harry’s sadness and now questioning his father’s love and his place in their family is a lot for a child to process and Y/N can only do so much. She needs help, and it’s okay to ask for it.
Maybe it was time Y/N went as well.
_____
Harry loved being on stage.
He knew he had to thank his wife for the reason he was back on stage. Harry loved his family, but something was missing as he became a stay-at-home father. He enjoyed the studio time, but he craved being on stage and interacting with the fans who gave him everything.
Except, it wasn’t the fans who helped him accomplish all his dreams. It was Y/N, a selfless Y/N who always put others above herself, and this time no different. She went above and beyond, and what did Harry do to repay her? He left her alone with their two children. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had a support team around her, and he knew she would be fine.
At least, that’s what he told himself over and over. The truth is he doesn’t know how to begin to help his wife. It’s a big reason he was glad his team made his first show in America because his therapist, whom he stopped talking to years ago, lives and works there. Harry felt he got to a point in his life where it was no longer necessary, but that isn’t true. He needs it more than ever, especially if he wants to be a better man for his family.
Change won’t come in a day, and for the time being, he will prove to Y/N and their kids that he’s the father and husband they deserve.
He’ll go home soon, but when he does, he wants to be his best version.
_____
Holiday vacations are around the corner, and the kids miss their dad. Lucy talks about him constantly, more than ever, and how he promised to play mermaids with her when he’s home for Christmas. Y/N doesn’t know how much she believes him, but she’s willing to give him a chance to prove himself. While Saylor is doing better. The therapist said it’s normal for Y/N to feel hurt and sad that she couldn’t do more for her child because it means she’s doing the right thing. She put her feelings aside to help her child.
Y/N began going to therapy herself. She did it when she was younger after her mother passed away unexpectedly but stopped when visits became low and few. Kirsten says it might even be a good idea to bring in Lucy, but Y/N wants to take it step by step, not wanting to overwhelm her children. Saylor says he’s enjoying the sessions because he gets to talk and play with different toys some days, even paint. Y/N is overall relieved that she made the right choice for her family. She knows she should have spoken to Harry, but Y/N, never knowing his exact schedule or how she was doing, felt it was not the right time to discuss with him, especially over the phone.
Lucy had been complaining about missing Harry, and Saylor also jumped in, stating they missed hearing him sing. Y/N’s never known how to say no to her kids, so with a single text to Jeff, he sent back a confirmation of three plane tickets that would take them to Chicago, where Harry was in town for three days before the next city.
Packing their bags was easy due to their excitement, but Y/N had a pit of anxiety sitting in her stomach that she could not shake. Sarah assured her that Harry would be happy to see them when Y/N texted her to let her know she was planning a visit. Y/N felt the most nervous because she was surprising Harry when he never asked them to come out and support him since he started touring. It’s something that had always been on her mind. It made her feel as if he was doing his best to keep both sides of his life separate when she thought that Harry would have found his way back to her
Saylor and Lucy were excellent during the eight-hour flight. Maybe they could sense her nerves or were just as nervous as she was in the moment to see Harry again. There’s a car waiting for them at the airport with a driver. As much as Y/N wanted to drive in the city, it's been too long since she’s driven in America. The car seats for the children are luxurious, and it makes Y/N wonder as she’s buckling in Lucy if they went out of their way to buy them for her children or got them on loan from somewhere. Either way, she’s thankful.
Lucy slept most of the flight, while Saylor slept on and off. She knew the jet lag would hit them hard as they’re not used to traveling, at least not the time change in America. Y/N made sure to take her children on trips through their neighboring countries. Harry would join them all the time, making traveling easier but being alone with two kids under six, she prefers to visit places close to home.
“Yes, we’ve arrived.” She looks behind her, sighing in relief as her children look out the windows, amazement shown in their eyes. “They’re fine. A bit tired, but we’re going to eat and try to sleep in a few hours if any of us can make it that long. Love you.” Y/N hangs up her phone turning to look at her children once more, “Nana says she loves you so much and that you better take lots of photos to show her when we go home.”
“Love Na,” Lucy whispers.
“Nana Anne, miss us?” Saylor asks.
“So much, says she’s got a surprise for when we go home.”
“Yay,” both Saylor and Lucy cheer together.
After texting Jeff that they had landed, he told her the driver would be bringing them to the venue where they all were rehearsing for the show tomorrow. Y/N knew that meant it was only a matter of minutes before she was reunited with Harry, and their children would get to spend time with him for longer than ten minutes.
Jeff waved at them as the car parked in the empty lot, helping Saylor unbuckle while Y/N got Lucy out, who chose to stay in her arms. Saylor rushed over to Y/N to hold her free hand. Jeff promised all their stuff would be taken to their hotel room, and she knew he meant into the room they would be sharing with Harry.
Y/N stayed quiet, listening to Lucy talk Jeff’s ear off about how excited she was to see her Daddy. She missed him so much, and listening to his music was boring when he wasn’t there to dance and sing with her. Y/N realized Saylor was nervous. His hand was sweating, but he didn’t let go of Y/N’s hand. No, his hold on her hand tightened as they were guided to the area where Harry was hanging out with his bandmates.
“Harry,” Jeff yelled, cutting off all the conversations in the room. “Got some visitors.” He moves out of the way, allowing Y/N to walk into the room. Saylor follows close behind. The room is silent for a few seconds before Lucy starts bouncing in Y/N’s arms, excitedly chanting Daddy.
“You’re here,” he breathes out. His eyes locked on Y/N first, then shifted to Lucy and Saylor. Their son stayed right by her side while Lucy began reaching forward, begging for Harry to take her in his arms.
Harry quickly crossed the room and took Lucy from Y/N, spinning her around as her laugh rang loud in the room. Y/N shuffled in closer with Saylor at her side. Sarah came to say hello first; it was her godson, after all.
“My little Saylor, you’re so big,” Sarah greeted, crouching down to his size. He moved away and jumped into his godmother’s waiting arms.
“Missed you.” He whispered low enough for only the three of them could hear.
“He’s been playing that bongo drum. You got him like crazy.”
Saylor nods his head excitedly, “can I play your drums?”
Sarah laughs, “I’m sure we can work something out.”
Y/N knows Harry’s coming back over because Saylor’s hand made its way back into hers. Lucy is now running around, introducing herself to everyone as if they don’t remember who she is. Most of the team here today were there for Y/N and Harry during the early years of their children’s lives.
“Hi, Saylor,” Harry greets, copying what Sarah did, getting down to be at his level. “I’ve missed you so much. You look so big, soon you might be bigger than Mummy.”
Saylor giggles, “you think so?”
“Of course, you might be taller than Mitch, too,” Harry teased.
“Ha,” Mitch laughed dryly as he let Lucy sit on his lap as she told him about her journey on the plane and how the nice airplane lady gave her apple juice.
The tension is gone, and it warms her heart to see Harry and Saylor sharing a long embrace. Y/N feels guilty because she’s the reason why her children don’t see their father every day anymore, but she also feels guilty for letting Harry be unhappy for so long. Lost in thought, she doesn’t seem to realize Harry standing in front of her, rocking on his heels as if he’s waiting for permission to touch her. Instead of overthinking what she should do, she does what she wants, which is to give her husband a hug.
She hears him let out a deep sigh, breathing her in. It's been a long time since she allowed herself to relax, but being here with his arms wrapped tight around her, she knows she belongs here. She just doesn’t know if Harry still thinks she does.
“Thank you for the surprise,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“Glad you liked it.”
“Daddy, Daddy?” Lucy pulls on his jeans, asking for attention.
Y/N pulls away from him, laughing as Lucy and Saylor wait for Harry to let go of her and pay attention to them. “Duty calls,” she jokes.
“Oi, what are you going to do?”
“She’ll be in good hands with me,” Sarah interrupts, dropping her hand over Y/N’s shoulder. “Now go. Your children have missed you.”
Harry gives Y/N one last look, and she nods, assuring him it’s okay.
Y/N really hopes the trips end well because a big reason she brought them out to visit wasn’t just for Saylor and Lucy but for herself to ask Harry where they stand. It’s important she finds out because she doesn’t want to suffer any more heartbreak.
_______
The night together at the hotel had gone well. Y/N was relieved when Saylor and Lucy settled for bed at eight pm that they even managed to stay awake so long, but she knew it was all because of Harry. Y/N wanted to stay up to talk with Harry and see how he felt because she didn’t want him to feel like she ambushed him, that she wanted to see him, that the kids did. Instead, as she waited for him to exit the bathroom, she fell asleep, the exhaustion of traveling hitting her like a truck now that everything had settled. Y/N swears she felt a kiss on her head and a blanket placed over her as she fell asleep. It’s the safest she’s felt in months.
Morning came all too soon when Saylor and Lucy jumped into their bed. Y/N and Harry shared a bed for the first time in months, and she was glad they woke her up, not allowing a moment of awkwardness to settle over them. Lucy demanded they feed her while Saylor reminded her to say please. Y/N laughed because she felt like a family, and looking over at Harry showering Saylor in kisses as Lucy sat on her stomach poking at Y/N’s face, she wondered if Harry felt the same.
“Come on, my loves. I’ll let you take a look at the menu and order whatever you want,” Harry coaxed them hoping to call them down.
“Anything?” Lucy shrieked.
Harry’s eyes widened before glancing at Y/N, who did her best to bite back a smile, “I’m afraid I’ve used the wrong word.”
Y/N shrugs, “make sure you include some fruits in there, but no-”
“Blueberries, Lucy’s allergic,” he finishes for Y/N.
“If I eat blueberries, will I become like the girl in Charlie’s factory?”
“You will not become like Violet, little lady,” Harry chuckles, “but if you did, we’d still love you.”
“We’ll always love you, Luce. No matter what,” Saylor chimed in, and Y/N felt her heart grow ten times the size.
There was a lot to discuss with Harry, but today, she’d enjoy the day with her family and feel proud to see Harry on stage doing what he loves.
______
The venue was chaotic, and Saylor and Lucy loved it. They saw someone doing something new at every turn, fixing lights or cooking food. It wasn’t until they saw the fans being let in did they gasp that all those people were there for their Daddy. It felt nice to allow them the experience of seeing Harry do what he loves. Y/N told Harry she wanted to walk around. She can’t remember the last time she was backstage at a venue. Y/N had been with Harry for so long that she feels she has visited so many arenas and stadiums, but she will never get over the friendly environment that Harry and their team maintain. Many of these people working backstage are the ones she saw when she first came out to see Harry. He prides himself in working with the people he trusts and has built a relationship with, and Y/N knows he cares for each person on his team.
He promised her he’d take care of Saylor and Lucy, promising he’d agree to everything they asked for, and she knew he was teasing but also wouldn’t put it past him. If Lucy asked him for a pony, Y/N’s sure he’d have it waiting for her as soon as she was back in London. Y/N knew Harry wanted to get Saylor his own drum kit already, but Y/N wasn’t ready for the loud noise that would never end.
“Take your time, love. I’m in good hands,” he teased.
“We take care of Daddy, like you taught us,” Saylor promises.
The show was set to start at nine, with the opener going on at eight, meaning she had roughly an hour and a half before she needed to go back and let Harry get ready without the distraction of two children who had a new question every second. Y/N spent time roaming the green room and speaking with the band, who were all too happy to ask her questions about her job and life in their London home. After excusing herself, she made her way through the hallways until she reached a black curtain allowing herself to take a peek at the fans there tonight. Harry had mentioned it being a sold-out show and that all tickets went to fans. They worked hard on keeping prices fair to fans, no longer allowing platinum tickets to be sold, not at the cost of his fans.
She stepped out, and the loud chatter of the arena echoed around her. There were many empty seats, as it was early but the pit was as packed as ever. Fans turned around, trying to see who was excited, but no one gave her a second glance. Her relationship with Harry is something they kept quiet about their first year. After Harry accidentally posted a photo of her on his Instagram story with a “happy anniversary” sticker, fans pieced it all together. In an interview with Zane Lowe, he happily shared that he was in love and happy that was all that should matter to his fans. The only posts about their children to this point are each child’s birth; that is how she hopes it stays until they’re older.
Y/N was glad she wasn’t easily recognizable to fans. At least, she thought she wasn’t until she saw someone with a plate of nachos in her hand going to sit against a wall and waving at her. Y/N turned around, wondering if she meant someone else, but once she saw the fan laugh, she sent a small wave back. She took that as her cue to leave in case others started to notice because Y/N’s sure the fan would be quick to spread the word as respectful as she was.
As she crosses back backstage, she finds Jeff and Tom talking. They stop when they see her, bringing her in for a hug.
“Hi, taking a tour, I see,” Jeff says, noting where she was coming from.
“Mhmm, was uh getting restless not being able to explore.”
“Harder with two kids, huh.” Tom comments.
Y/N laughs, “oh yeah, those two are curious. They got that from Harry. If they could, I’m sure they’d open every door backstage.”
“Are they with H?”
“Last I checked, unless he passed them off,” Y/N jokes.
“Are you kidding? He’s wrapped around those two fingers. The only person he allows to take them is you because you’re his favorite person,” Jeff shares.
“And their mother,” Tom chimes in.
Y/N is surprised at everything he’s saying because, for the longest time, she didn’t feel like it. She still doesn’t.
“Honestly, we’re all glad you texted us. This is the happiest we’ve seen him.” Jeff mutters his agreement.
Y/N frowns, “what do you mean?”
Tom and Jeff share a look before answering. “That he’s happy to be touring and on the road again, but….”
“Come on, might as well tell me.”
Tom sighs, “he comes off stage upset or tired and always heads to bed.”
“Are you saying he wants us here?” Y/N questions because it doesn’t make sense to her.
“The last time he toured, who was the first person he went to after he ran off?” Jeff asked.
“Me,” she whispered. “But he wanted this.” Y/N gestures to everything around her.
Jeff shrugs, “he did, but not like he was expecting.”
Y/N sighs, running a hand down her face trying to take in this information. “I’m not uprooting my kids to follow him on tour. We’ve got stability. They’ve got a routine and a lot of family at home.”
“We know you do,” Tom assures you. “Harry raves about how amazing of a mother you are. He really feels that he’s failed. He failed you and the kids, but there’s nothing he can do now, not with a sold-out tour.”
“Hmm…he hasn’t told me. Or when we talk, it’s about the kid. I assumed–I don’t know, really. Feels like we lost him or that I did, at least.” Y/N didn’t think she’d share this with anyone other than her therapist, but she’s always trusted them. They’re her friends as well.
As she walks away to find her children, she doesn’t know Harry is behind her, having heard every last word, having gone to get Lucy and Saylor an ice cream. It’s time to prove to Y/N that he was there for her.
Harry loved his wife. Without her, he wouldn’t have his two biggest blessings. He wouldn’t know what it’s like to be loved. He wouldn’t have built a beautiful life without her, and he took that for granted. He took her heart and stored it away because he was too weak to ask for help. He left her alone for too long, but he would change that. He had to. There was no way he would lose her, not when he loved her with everything in him, his heart and soul belonged to her.
______
The energy for tonight was on a new level; he knew it was because his family was in the audience. He was so happy that he decided to mention it, not allowing cameras to zoom their way because his children were not something he shared with fans or the media, something he and Y/N agreed on from the moment they found out she was pregnant with Saylor.
Harry kept an eye on them the entire night, sending them kisses and dancing their way. The minute he got off stage, an excited Saylor bounded into his sweaty arms while a sleepy Lucy was in Y/N’s arms fighting sleep.
“Daddy! That was awesome.” Saylor yelled, letting Harry slip off his headphones as Harry settled him on his hip.
“Mhm, awesome,” Lucy mumbled, tucking her head deeper into Y/N’s shoulder.
Harry laughs, “thank you, my loves.” He pressed a kiss to Saylor’s cheek and then to Lucy’s. “What did Mummy think?”
“You were wonderful, H. Always a shining star up there,” Y/N leaned in and offered him a kiss on his cheek. Y/N swore she could see a blush on his cheeks as she pulled away.
“Thank you.” Harry clears his throat, “how about we head to bed, huh?”
“Please,” Lucy whispered, causing them all to laugh.
It was the sweetest after-show reunion, and Harry laughed as he noticed cameras pointed in every direction from their team, having captured the special moment. “I’m expecting to see those photos in my messages tomorrow.”
A course of “yes, boss” rang loud as Y/N and Harry helped their kids settle in their car seats, Lucy slowly falling asleep as they began the drive to the hotel.
“Y/N?” Harry asked as they each worked on changing their children into their pajamas. Both children fell asleep on their way to the hotel.
“Hmm…”
“Thank you.” He starts, “for uh, coming tonight.”
“Course, they really missed you.”
“I missed them too.” They fall silent. “I missed you too, Y/N. So much.”
Y/N flashes him a timid smile. “I missed you too.”
After settling both children under the covers, Y/N flipped on the small lamp light and walked out, wanting to get undressed and to bed. She saw Harry in the bathroom and decided changing in the room would be better. She saw a shirt on the chair, and she swore it was hers, so she slipped it on and climbed under the covers, sighing as she felt herself sink into the king-sized bed. Y/N shut the lights off and closed her eyes. Y/N’s not sure how long had passed, but she felt Harry slipping in next to her. He scooted close to her but not enough to touch her, and a part of her was screaming at him to get closer, but she remained still.
“Honey, do you think we can talk?” Harry asked, turning on the small lamp by the bedside.
“Right now?” She blinked one eye open. Harry was lying on his side, staring at her. He shook his head no.
“I, uh, was thinking maybe we can have dinner together tomorrow. Jeff offered to watch the kids.”
“Okay, H. That’s fine. I’m sure we can talk and have dinner with the kids too.”
“If you want, but uh,” Harry feels his throat tighten. He’s so nervous, “thought it could be a date.”
Y/N doesn’t do well hiding the surprise on her face. “A date?”
He nodded, keeping his eyes locked with hers trying to see if he could see what she was feeling, but it was like staring at a wall. She was always so good at hiding her emotions. Harry let her think about it, the silence making his heart race until he saw her offer him the tiniest smile.
“Okay, Harry. It’s a date.”
_______
“You look pretty, Mummy?” Lucy tells Y/N as she sees her finishing the application of her lipstick. Y/N had to sit Lucy in the sink as she had woken up practically clingy this morning; not that Y/N minded but having to do makeup with a toddler on her hip would not be easy. She was playing with the eyeshadow pallet, swiping it down her arms and gasping when she saw how shimmery it made her arms.
“Think so?” Y/N presses a kiss to the top of Lucy’s head with nods enthusiastically
“Promise,” she affirms, although it sounded more like ‘poise’ as Lucy still had not quite mastered her “R’s.”
“Give me a kiss,” Lucy perked up, carefully turning around to not hurt herself. Y/N leaned down and let Lucy press a peck to Y/N’s lips.
“Thanks, petal. You’re the sweetest.” Y/N lifts her up and sets Lucy on her hip. “Let’s go find Saylor and Daddy.”
Lucy sighs, knowing she will say goodbye to her mum for the night. Walking out of the restroom, Y/N finds Harry sitting on the couch, flowers in his lap, with Saylor standing before him, taking his photo. Y/N cooed at the sight because Saylor recently learned to take pictures and took any opportunity to showcase his skills.
“I see Saylor’s found a new muse,” Y/N laughs when Harry startles, jumping up from the couch, barely catching the flowers in his lap.
“Daddy!” Saylor scolds.
“Sorry, lovie.” Harry turns to Y/N, his smile widening as he sees his two girls in front of him. “These are for you,” he extends the flowers for Y/N to take, but Lucy accepts them for her.
“Pretty.”
Y/N giggles, “very pretty.”
“Are you ready to head out?” Harry asks as he watches Y/N set down Lucy, who runs to show Jeff the flowers.
“Mhmm…all good.”
“Petals, come give Mummy and Daddy a kiss,” Y/N calls for them, kneeling next to Harry to accept the two running toddlers into her open arms. She would have fallen back by the force they rushed into her if Harry didn’t have a hold on her. She shoots him a grateful smile as she presses three kisses each to Saylor and Lucy before passing them over to Harry, who promises to take good care of Mummy.
Y/N walks out, and together they head down the hall. She feels nervous because this dinner has the power to break her or mend her heart. It was only a matter of time until she finds out.
______
Harry brought her to a family restaurant. It wasn’t a stuffy, uptight restaurant like she was expecting because Harry knew she never liked those restaurants that gave people food portions so small that it never filled a person up. Y/N grins as he pushes her chair in. She is still recovering from Harry opening her car door and offering her his arm. He’s the gentleman he was for the entirety of their relationship until she lost him.
The conversation is slow, primarily focused on the tour and their kids. Y/N laughs when she realizes this feels like a first date, this was how nervous she was in Jamaica after he approached her asking for the chance to take her on a date, but she said no because she was on holiday and lucky for her, he was as well. After learning more about him and falling for his charm, she said yes, and she would not change a thing because it brought her back to him.
Harry is the one to steer the conversation bringing up how he’s been doing. He has bad days, but they aren’t awful where he shuts down. He shares about his therapist and how comfortable he feels talking to someone, that he went too long holding in all his feelings. Y/N feels guilty, and Harry knows that. He reminds her it’s not her fault, that she did the best they could by putting their children first. It made him feel safe knowing that Saylor and Lucy were being taken care of by someone who would lay their life down for them.
“Do–would you be up for couple’s therapy?”
Y/N gestures for him to explain.
“Marina says that it’s important we talk about this as a neutral place, and a therapist is a good place to start. We both went through a hard time, and it’s important we talk about everything that happened.”
She agrees, “we can do that.”
“Good, uh, thank you.”
“Saylor started seeing a therapist.”
Harry’s eyes widened in surprise, “because of me?”
Y/N grimaces, “he had a hard time seeing you connect more with him and Lucy through a phone, and there was only so much I could do alone.”
She sees him deflate, “H, don’t take all the blame, don’t let it sink you.”
He sniffles, “I hurt him. I hurt you all.”
“Saylor’s healing. We all are. You’re making an effort,” she assures him.
“I want to be a better father and partner.”
Y/N nods, but something is nagging at the back of her mind. “Jeff mentioned extending the tour.”
And he sighs. It’s true.
“Summer tour. In Europe.”
“Mhm…”
“Would–” he fumbles, trying to find the words. “I know work is important, and our kids are priority number one but would you be up to joining me in the summer?”
“Summer on tour?” She repeats.
“The kids aren’t in school, and if you’re able to use some time off with us for even a week or two, uh, I miss you all so much when I’m away.”
“You really want us there?”
“Course I do. Think I played my best show last night having you all there.” It’s what everyone has been telling her that it was his best show since his return.
“I’m—so– confused.”
“Of what, lovie?” Harry thought he had put everything out in the open.
“You didn’t ask us to visit you. Or ask us to go on tour with you. You just left, H, and that hurt as much as having you home and ignoring us,” Y/N pours her heart out to him.
He drops his head, letting out a deep breath. “You’ve always reminded me that you wanted to give Lucy and Saylor stability. Me being selfish to bring you out would have—I thought it would make you think I was careless and only thought about myself.”
“You put them first.”
“They have always come first. I just honestly got lost. Marina, my therapist, said that after giving up something I’ve known basically all my life, I wasn’t ready to let it go like I said I was. And all my repressed feelings took over.”
“They’re the priority Harry, promise me?”
Harry agrees, “they’re my priority but so are you.”
She stays silent for a moment, before nodding. “We can talk to the kids tomorrow and ask them how they feel about touring with you for the summer.”
Harry’s eyes brighten, “just them?
She shakes her head. “If they’re a yes, so am I,” she tells him.
“Do you still love me?” Harry asks.
She sighs, “Harry.”
“I love you, Y/N. I will always love you, and I’m sorry I made you doubt my love but never again. I’ll prove it to you every day. I just need to know if I have a chance.” Harry pleads, and Y/N believes every single word.
“Of course I do. I’d let you break my heart ten times over if it means I get the chance to love you.”
Y/N sees his eyes well up with tears and leans close to catch a tear that falls down his face. “You love me?”
“I love you,” she confirms.
“I love you, too. Never stopped loving you, just got lost.”
Y/N and Harry settle in comfortable silence. She scoots her chair closer to him, reaching for his hand and intertwining it with hers. Harry squeezes tight before bringing it to his lips and giving her a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.
“Never going to stop. Heart beats for you as much as it does for Saylor and Lucy.” Y/N confessed, needing him to know that it has always been him.
“I love you, Y/N. I have loved you since our first date in Jamaica, and I’ll never stop reminding you. I know I stopped for some time and made you question me but never again. It’s always you. It will always be you.”
And she believed him.
Everything wasn’t perfect, far from it, but there’s a clear path in front of them that Y/N and Harry look forward to taking together.
_____
thank for you reading!!!!
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