Can you maybe do a Harry centric Zianourry friendship where they are all straight except for Harry, and while the boys accept Harry for who he is, they agree with management on hiding the fact that he's gay because (management) wants to keep up and image and (the boys) want to keep Harry out of any negative spotlight. Harry is close friends with Jade from LM and she and the girls go off on the boys and then Harry comes out and they all support him! Sorry it's so long!
Why Can’t I Say That I’m In Love?
A/N: My first prompt! I hope you like it, friend! Xxx
This prompt does have, Elounor and Jerrie and (Zerrie never dated but are friends) the rest of the boys are single. Jade & Harry friendship as well. Also, I changed things around so Zayn has not left the band.
This was influenced by lyrics in ‘Secret Love Song pt. 2′ by Little Mix (a song specifically for the LGBTQ community and one you should listen to!)
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Harry stared at his hands nervously while the other lads looked at him expectantly. The Cheshire lad had no idea why he was so nervous. These were his best friends. His brothers. They loved him dearly and there was no way that, when Harry told them what he needed to, that they would turn their backs on him. Right? Despite his best attempts to convince himself of this, Harry still felt it becoming harder and harder to breathe. His palms were still sweaty no matter how many times he wiped them on his jeans.
Liam, noticing the younger boy’s nervousness, sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“Haz, whatever it is that you need to tell us, you know that we’re here for you. No matter what.”
The other boys nodded their heads in agreement as Harry looked to them for reassurance. Niall offered the younger boy an encouraging smile and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Feeling reassured, Harry took a deep calming breath, before looking his friends in the eyes.
“There is something that I have been wanting to tell you guys for a while now but I’ve been scared. Not because I think you guys will hate me but… I just… I haven’t told anybody this except Mark. Not even mom and Gemma.”
“Take your time, babe. Don’t rush yourself,” Louis said, concerned about his ‘baby brother’.
“Louis’ right, love.” Zayn agreed, settling a hand on Harry’s knee. “We are not going anywhere.”
Harry to another deep breath. It was now or never.
“I-I’m gay…” he said, voice cracking.
Silence settled over the five boys and even though it probably only lasted a few seconds, it seemed to stretch on for an eternity to Harry. The longer it went on, the more the curly haired boy started to panic.
“Please say something.” He whispered so quietly that the others had to strain to hear him. “Please tell me I didn’t just screw up everything. I’m so sorry. I-”
Harry was cut off as a body slammed into his, arms wrapping tightly around him.
“Don’t you apologize. Don’t you dare.” Niall demanded fiercely as he held onto the younger boy. “This is nothing to be ashamed of. This is who you are and we love you just the same.”
Harry was in a state of shock at being tackled by the Irish lad but, at hearing the blonde’s words, his green eyes began to sting with oncoming tears. Harry wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and buried his face in Niall’s chest.
Another set of arms was wrapped around Harry as someone began carding their fingers through his curly mop of hair. Harry didn’t know whether to laugh in relief or cry. His body seemed to decide that crying was the way to go. Harry sniffled as he buried himself deeper into the arms that were holding him.
“Shhh, Hazza Bear. There’s no reason to cry. We’re here and we’re not going anywhere. We love you, babe.” Louis cooed.
“And we are so so proud of you for coming out to us. You are so brave, little brother.” Zayn said as he continued to stroke the youngest’s hair.
Harry sniffled again as he looked up at his brothers with a watery smile. “You guys are OK with this? You don’t hate me.”
And Liam felt his heart break at even the slightest mention of someone suggesting he could hate Harry. It was an outrageous suggestion that offended him greatly.
“No, Harry.” Daddy Direction said soothingly. “We don’t hate you. We never could and we never will. We love you.”
Harry nodded and buried his face back into Niall’s chest.
“Harry, why were you so nervous to tell us? What did you mean when you said that Mark knew about this too? Did you tell him voluntarily or…?” Louis trailed off looking at Harry.
The youngest boy sighed as he pulled back from the group hug. He looked over at Louis with fatigue and stress dulling his usual vibrant forest green eyes.
“He’s trying to set me up with another girlfriend again. I-I’m just so tired of being forced into relationships that I don’t want. Especially since it’s always with… girls.”
Harry sounded so defeated and that broke the other lad’s hearts, but they stayed quiet, waiting for the Cheshire lad to continue.
“I told him… that I was gay, hoping that maybe he would back off and that maybe I could be myself but he didn’t care. He said that me coming out would just ruin the band. And he said if I knew what was good for me and the band, I would keep up and play along.” A lone tear slid down Harry’s already damp cheek and Niall was quick to wipe it away. “It’s not like I want to announce it to the whole world right now. I’m not ready for that yet but… I’m just tired of acting like I’m someone else.”
“Bullshit.” The boys all looked over to Zayn who had just spoken. Zayn’s mouth was set in a tight line as he tried to keep his emotions in check. How dare Mark say those things to Harry. “He’s an absolute ass who has no idea what he’s talking about. Being who you are will not tear this band apart. We love you no matter what.”
“We’ll talk to Mark about cooling it on the girlfriends, OK?” Liam assured as he began to gently rub Harry’s back.
“And, when you’re ready, if you would like, we’ll be there when you tell your family,” Niall added as he hugged Harry tightly.
Harry smiled genuinely at the other lads as they all hugged him again. He really did have the best brothers ever.
“I love you, lads.”
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True to their word, the boys ‘spoke with’ (Harry was pretty sure that Liam lectured while Zayn threatened the man) Mark and the manager began to back off of Harry. It was a few short months later when the young Cheshire lad felt confident enough to come out Gemma and his parents. So, once they were on break, Harry made his way back home with Niall in tow since the Irish lad was determined to support Harry.
The talk had gone amazingly well. Niall had smiled at Harry encouragingly as Harry stuttered his way through telling his family about his sexuality. Anne and Robin had been nothing but smiles and support while Gemma just hugged her brother closely promising to be that older sibling that grilled all of Harry’s future boyfriends.
Harry felt so happy and relieved that everyone in his life that truly mattered still loved him and were supportive of who he was. For the first time in a long while, the curly haired boy felt confident and able to face whatever life threw at him. More than that. He felt ready for the world and the fans to know.
Until he didn’t.
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“Haz it’s not that we don’t support you. You know we do. It’s just that those damn Larry Stylinson rumors are back and they’ve gotten worse. If you were to come out now…” Louis said wringing his hands together nervously.
Harry wanted to throw up. He wanted nothing more than for this to be some kind of horrendous nightmare. He wanted to wake up. Now. But the more the twenty-year-old pinched his arm, the more he realized that this was reality. And the boys were siding with Mark and the management team. They were telling him to not come out. To not be truthful about who he was to the fans whom he loved dearly. The fans that he wanted to inspire to not be afraid to accept who they were.
“I… I don’t actually believe that this is happening,” Harry mumbled as he ran hands through his hair. “I- I mean, a few months ago it was all, ‘Harry we love you’ and ‘we’re proud of you for being who you are.’ Was that all complete bullshit? Did you mean anything that you said?”
The boys looked at him with guilty expressions but they pressed on.
“Think about what it would do to Eleanor,” Louis said pleadingly.
And wow did that sting. Because Harry loved Eleanor. He adored the girl. She made Louis happy and she was so so sweet and it absolutely hurt Harry to see how she was treated by some of the fans because of him.
“This coming from the guy who has told me repeatedly ‘screw the haters, Harry. Just ignore them. They don’t know what they’re talking about and they don’t even matter.’”
“Harry, he’s right though. This just doesn’t affect you. It affects all of us.” Liam chimed in, trying to be the voice of reason. “We do support you but there is a time and place to do these things and now doesn’t seem like the time. You don’t even know if people will respond positively.”
“Then when?” Harry pleaded with them. “When, Liam? When would be an ‘appropriate time’?”
No one responded so Harry continued. “Why do you all get to be with who you want and happy while I am treated differently just because I’m considered different. Why do I need to hide it?”
Louis snapped. “That’s not what we mean and you know it. This is about Eleanor. Damn it, Harry. I can’t believe you are being so selfish right now. Why can’t you think of us or anybody else for once.”
“Louis!” Liam admonished sternly.
Harry tensed at that accusation and time seemed to stop for a flat second before his insides began to numb. “Oh. I see. That’s what this is about.” Harry sighed as he looked down, defeated.
Louis’ mouth snapped shut in shame. He could not believe that he had just said that to his kid brother. “Harry please! I didn’t-”
Harry held up a hand to cut him off. “It’s OK, Louis. You’re right and I’m sorry. Don’t worry. I won’t do anything.” The curly haired boy turned and walked away, heading for the front door.
“Haz, where are-” Niall started but was cut off by the younger boy.
“I just need a few moments alone. I’ll be back.” And with that Harry was gone.
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Harry didn’t know how but, somehow, he had ended up at the recording studio. He only had a few options and, seeing how it was cold out and he wasn’t ready to go back to the flat he shared with the boys, Harry walked inside. He hadn’t really expected anybody to be inside. He had really just been expecting a place to hide away for a while. But as he walked further into the studio he heard voices laughing and singing in the back.
Curious, Harry peeked his head inside one of the recording rooms only to discover one of his best friends inside with her bandmates. Jade Thirlwall. It didn’t take long before Jade, Perrie, Jesy, and Leigh-Anne noticed him.
“Harry! What are you doing here, mate?” Jade said happily as she ran over and hugged the Cheshire boy. Harry happily returned the hug as he waved to the other girls.
“Hello, ladies.”
“Harry! This is a surprise!” Perrie hugged Harry as well.
“Are you guys recording a new song?” Harry asked as he sat down on one of the chairs in the room. “It sounded amazing!’
Jesy nodded as she took a drink of water. “Yeah, it’s called ‘Hair’. It’s going to be on our new album this next month.”
“I loved it.” Harry smiled encouragingly. “I can’t wait to hear the whole thing and the rest of the album!”
“Aw, thank you.” Leigh-Anne smiled radiantly. “We’re super excited for it.”
“So how have you been?” Perrie asked as she offered Harry a water.
The boy gratefully accepted it before answering. “Oh ok. Busy as always. Barely a moment to breathe.” Harry gave a half-hearted laugh and the girls laughed along.
“Oh boy do we understand,” Jade said as she sat down in Perrie’s lap and kissed her on the forehead.
And oh yeah. How could Harry have forgotten? Jade and Perrie were out to not only their band but all of their friends, their families, and their fans. And they couldn’t be happier. Harry sighed as he thought again about the events of that afternoon.
“Har?” Jade asked, concern painting her features as she turned to face the boy more. “Are you OK? You look down?”
Harry flashed the girl a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m fine. Just tired is all.”
“Bullshit,” Jesy said, cocking an eyebrow at him.
Harry looked over at the older girl incredulously. “I swear. I’m fine.”
“Oh no, Styles. We’re not buying that.” Leigh-Anne shook her head. “Spill it, Curly.”
It took a bit more convincing but, eventually, Harry ended up telling them. Everything. By the time that Harry had finished, Jade looked downright pissed.
“What do you mean they called you ‘selfish’? That’s a load of crap.” Perrie had an angry look on her face. “They are your friends and they should want the absolute best for you no matter what.
“And what does that wanker Louis mean by making you put Eleanor first?” Jade asked, offended for her friend. “I know she’s your friend and you love her but I’m sure she would be just as put off by their behavior. It’s not like you or she can control those fans no matter what. It’s not your responsibility.”
Harry shrugged as he fiddled with the hem of his jacket. “I just… it’s not like I expected a fairytale or a huge parade or anything but I did want to tell the fans so they know it’s ok to be who they are. I want to inspire them to never feel ashamed.” A tear started to cascade down the boy’s cheek. “But based on how the boys and Mark are acting, I feel like I should be ashamed.”
“NO!” Everyone looked up at Jade’s outburst. The girl was standing in front of the Cheshire boy looking furious. “Don’t you dare feel ashamed. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. Louis and the boys? They do. I understand that Louis wants to protect Eleanor but making it your responsibility is absolute rubbish.”
“Jade is absolutely right, hun.” Leigh-Anne agreed as she placed an arm around Harry’s shoulders.
Jesy got an idea and smiled at the boy. “We have a new song we’ve been working on for our LGBTQ fans.” She smiled at Jade and Perrie. “Our girls here wrote most of the song but we need help finishing it. Want to help?”
Harry looked over at her surprised but he quickly agreed when he saw the encouraging smiles from Leigh-Anne, Jade, and Perrie.
“Let’s do it.” Harry smiled.
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“How about, ‘I don’t wanna live love this way. I don’t wanna hide us away. I wonder if it ever will change. I’m living for the day. Someday’, and then back into the chorus?” Harry asked as he wrote down the words on the piece of sheet music paper.
“Oh, I like that.” Perrie agreed as she read over their work for ‘SLS’. “This is perfect, Harry.”
“Yes, Harry. Thank you so much for helping us to finish this.” Leigh-Anne exclaimed as she stared over their new song.
“You know, I have a bloody brilliant idea.” Jade said excitedly. “You should record this song with us.”
“Yes!” Jesy agreed. “That would be amazing. When we announce this song, you could even come out to the fans.”
Harry smiled but it faded after a second. “I’m not so sure, guys.” He said looking down at his feet. “After my argument with the boys, I don’t feel to confident about this anymore.”
“Oh, Harry.” Jade sat down next to the younger boy. “I thought we went over all of this. You have nothing to be ashamed of and trying to put the responsibility for everyone’s feelings on your shoulders is rubbish and it’s not fair of Louis and the boys to ask so much of you.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” said a new voice.
The girls and Harry all looked up to see Eleanor standing with her arms crossed, glaring at the other four boys of One Direction who looked sheepish and guilty.
The girls of Little Mix felt their tempers rising when they saw Harry’s band mates.
“You have a lot of nerve showing your bloody faces in here.” Jade growled as she kept a protective arm around the boy’s shoulders.
Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn winced at the normally sweet girl’s sharp words and ,looking around at the other girls, they saw that they were in deep trouble with all of them.
“What are you lads doing here?” Harry asked confused, feeling a bit apprehensive.
“They all have something that they’d like to telly you.” Eleanor replied as she waved at Harry. “Hello by the way, Harry dear.”
The curly haired boy gave the girl a small smile and waved back. “Hello, Elle.” The smile then dropped from his face and he looked at his friends in worry. “Are you lads alright? Did something happen?”
Louis sighed as he was nudged forward by his girlfriend. “No, Haz. We’re not alright.”
“We feel just awful about how we left things with you.” Zayn added as he walked over to the boy. “After you left, we realized that we never should have placed that burden on you.”
“Damn right you shouldn’t have.” Perrie said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Girls.” Jesy warned. “Maybe we should give them some time alone.”
Perrie and Jade looked ready to argue but they ultimately agreed. Before leaving, the Little Mix girls all hugged Harry, promising to call him soon about recording with them.
It was just One Direction and Eleanor now and Harry honestly didn’t know what to do or who to look at so he opted to stare at his hands. Louis sighed again as he sat down in one of the now vacant spots next to Harry, Zayn occupying the other seat.
“Harry, please look at me.” Louis asked quietly. Hurt and tired emerald green eyes turned to look up at the Doncaster lad and Louis felt his heart clench. He and the others had put that look there. They had heard Harry talking as they came into the studio. They had caused him to falter in his faith in himself. And they needed to fix it.
“Harry, we meant what we said two months ago when we said we were going to support you no matter what. That includes when you are ready to come out to our fans. And just because some fans are so caught up in this ‘Larry Stylinson’ business that they choose to not believe reality, doesn’t mean you should have to hide who you are.”
“Yeah, Harry.” Niall agreed. “We were complete rubbish friends for telling you to hide how you feel.”
“And we promise, whatever you decide to do now, you have our complete support, Haz.” Liam said as he smiled reassuringly.
Harry listened to everything they had to say and he wanted to believe them. He really did but one thing kept nagging at him. He turned to Eleanor.
“But what about you and Louis, Elle? What about the hate you get? If I come out to the fans and the rumors get even worse, what if you get even more hate? I don’t want you two to be affected by this.”
“Harry,” Eleanor said as she knelt in front of him. “I can take care of myself. Louis and I will be just fine. We’ve gone through too much to let a few rumors destroy what we have.” She smiled over at Louis before a stern look took over her beautiful features. “And even though it is totally like Louis to want to protect me, how he and these wankers went about it was totally unnecessary.”
Harry had to laugh at how none of the other boys could look Eleanor in the eye. It was a comical sight. He turned back to Louis and hugged him close.
“I forgive you guys but… I still don’t know if I can do this… what will management say?”
“Forget them Harry.” Zayn said as he rubbed a comforting hand up and down his back. “If this is something you want to do, then you need to do it without caring about what they say.”
“And if they do have anything to say, then Zayn, Liam, Louis and I will handle it.” Niall promised, cracking his knuckles.
Harry looked around at all his friends and he couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face. “I love you, guys. Thank you.”
“We love you too, Haz.” Louis said. “Now, tell us about this song that you guys wrote!”
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“So Harry,” Nick said as he turned towards the Cheshire boy that had been unusually quiet. “I understand that Little Mix is here with us today as well and that you and the girls wrote a song together. What was it like to work with them and what is this new song about?”
Harry looked over to his band mates as well as the Little Mix girls and after receiving encouraging looks from them all, he took a deep breath and answered.
“It was a lot of fun to work with Jade, Perrie, Jesy and Leigh-Anne. They are so sweet and extremely talented. This new song means a lot to all of us and...” Harry looked to his friends again. “It’s only part of the reason why I’m at this interview today.”
“Oh?” Nick asked, feigning curiosity. Being one of Harry’s closest friends, he of course already knew the reason for this interview and he couldn’t be prouder of the kid.
“Well, a couple of months ago, I decided to tell my friends and family something about me that I’ve known for a while and now I wanted to share with the fans especially those who are a part of the LGBTQ community. I...I’m gay.”
Harry felt a sense of calm rush through him as he said those words out loud in public for the very first time. “And the reason this song means so much to us is because we wrote it for those in the LGBTQ community.”
“Wow, mate.” Nick said, beaming at him. “That was a big step to take. How do you feel having shared that with everyone?”
“You know, I was so nervous to share this originally but having done it, I feel great and I just want any of the fans out there listening to know that if you are struggling with whether or not to come out to your friends and family, you are not alone in this and you have all my love. I hope I can inspire some of you to be true to yourselves like my friends have inspired me.”
“Aw, Haz!” Louis said in a fake sob. “Stop it! I’m crying here.”
“Yeah, Har. You’re too much.” Niall added as he grabbed Harry in a headlock and ruffled his curls.
“Well there you have it folks.” Nick Grimshaw said. “Now I do believe that you were going to preform this new song for us.”
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@Harry_Styles: I am so proud to all myself a fan. What you have done to inspire your fans is beyond words.
@Harry_Styles: I have been struggling to find a reason to come out to my friends and family. You just gave me the best one. To inspire others. XxOo
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A/N: I hope you all liked it!
