harry is just an ass and she is just a stranger — series introduction, bit of angst (8.6k)
(2) an incandescent glow
She just wanted to have a fun night out, but Harry has a tendency to ruin things.. — angst and sadness filled (10.9k)
(3) putting roots in my dreamland
Despite wishing he didn’t exist, she had no choice but to be around him.. — short but necessary angst for the story (8.4k)
(4) and now I’m covered in you..
She can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble and it irritates him more than it should. — a scary situation creates a lot of conflicting thoughts for both characters.. angst (14.3k)
(5) magnificently cursed
She can’t seem to ignore him and he’s rather observant of her.. - angst, little dramatic incident (11.4k)
(6) clover blooms in the fields
She needs help and he just so happens to be the only one available.. - little angst, more fluff (tw: does mention surgical procedures) (12.3k)
(7) crescent moon, coast is clear
She was struggling to let go of her worrying thoughts, but he was determined to help her through it. — there’s some angst & fluff (15.2k)
(8) he’s gonna burn this house to the ground
He has added insult to injury and she gives him one chance to make it right. — bit of angst lots of fluff and dialogue (17.5k)
(9) for moments that we stole
She was trying to figure out how to understand her own body, and he was attempting to help as much as he could.. — includes fluff, angst, hints of smut but not smut, & jealously.. (29.7k)
(10) on begged and borrowed time
She builds up her confidence and he takes care of, just as he promised he would.. — fluff, angst, and finally smut (26.7k)
(11) so tell me to run
He lies too easily to her at times, and she always seems to believe him.. — little bit of smut but mostly angst maybe it’s dramatic maybe not (13k)
(12) watch what we’ll become
She can't get over him and he finally does the right thing. — angst, smut (20.7k)
(13) my house of stone, your ivy grows
He works hard to change his ways and she maintains her patience. After all the hardships, it seems they have figured out how to love each other. — slight angst, smut. the final official update (14.7k) (final chapter)
˗ˏˋ extras ˎˊ˗
blueberry pancakes
she makes breakfast while he cuddles with her plushies - fluff (1.9k)
please yourself like you mean it
he finds something hiding in her nightstand - smut (sex toy use) (4.6k)
clean sheets
she starts her period and has an accident, but he assures her everything is fine - fluff (4.9k)
warm & content
Harry needs Ivy in a different way this time.. - smut (cockwarming) (1.1k)
this series is loosely inspired by the song “ivy” by taylor swift
more pics // more pics (2) // more pics (3)
part 8 teaser post (with photos)
part 9 teaser post (with photos)
part 10 teaser post (with photos)
part 11 teaser post (with photos) extra photos
extra photos 2
part 12 teaser post (with photos)
part 13 teaser post (with photos)
‧₊˚ playlist ‧₊˚
(just a few songs that inspired this series & what I listen to while writing it :: these are my music preferences so if you don’t like them.. don’t listen) •••slight spoilers so be aware/you can skip over this•••
ivy - taylor swift
lie to girls - sabrina carpenter
my boy only breaks his favorite toys - taylor swift
norman fucking rockwell- lana del rey
right now - one direction
souvenir - selena gomez
something in the way - nirvana
fine line - harry styles
guilty as sin - taylor swift
cinnamon girl - lana del rey
brain stew- greenday
the next best american record - lana del rey
dancing with our hands tied - taylor swift
lips of an angel - hinder
tonight - zayn
meet me in the hallway - harry styles
small talk - niall horan
iris - goo goo dolls
so it goes - taylor swift
stay over - tove lo
love is a wild thing - kacey musgraves
false god - taylor swift
little freak - harry styles
crimson and clover - joan jett (& the blackhearts)
Summary: Famous singers Y/N and Harry Styles were once inseparable—until they weren’t. Their love was a wildfire: beautiful, reckless, impossible to contain. But when the flames died down, all that was left was ashes and silence.
A year later, they find themselves on the same stage, under the same lights, in front of the entire world. Y/N has a song to sing—a song about him. A song about what could have been, what wasn’t, and what will never be.
And for the first time since she walked away, Harry has no choice but to listen. Based on this request.
A/N: Oh, you wanted pain? You wanted heartbreak, regret, emotional devastation? Say. Less. 😈
This is for the angst lovers. The ones who thrive off right person/wrong time. The ones who scream “JUST COMMUNICATE” at fictional characters but also eat up every miscommunication trope like it’s their last meal.
You must listen to Indigo while reading. Like, I’m not even kidding. Play it, stare at the ceiling dramatically, and let the suffering consume you. 💔✨
Also, if you’re mad at me after this… fair. But don’t act like you didn’t ask for it. 😘
Word Count: 4,4k
Warnings:
Angst. Like, an unbearable amount.
Famous exes who never got closure.
Emotional damage. (Both theirs and yours.)
Regret, heartbreak, longing.
No happy ending. (Yes, I’m serious. No last-minute fix. Just vibes and suffering.)
Mentions of fame, media speculation, public scrutiny.
Lyrics used as emotional weapons.
Read at your own risk. Prepare to feel things. 😈
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆
The air was thick with the scent of hairspray, expensive perfume, and anticipation. That electric kind, the kind that settled heavy in your chest, thick in your throat, pressing into the spaces between your ribs.
The kind you had no choice but to swallow down.
A makeup artist dabbed concealer under your eyes, but it wouldn’t do much. Not really. The exhaustion wasn’t just skin deep, it had settled in your bones, wrapped itself around your body like a second skin. You weren’t sure if it was from the jet lag, the rehearsals, the weight of tonight, or a combination of all three.
Maybe you should have said no.
But how could you? This was the biggest night in music, and turning it down would have been like signing a confession letter that you weren’t over it, over him.
No. You weren’t giving them that narrative.
Even if every fiber of your being was screaming at you to run.
You were perched in a chair in the backstage dressing area, surrounded by the hum of the industry’s elite—stylists, managers, artists, publicists all fluttering around like moths to a flame. Everyone had a role to play, a script to follow. Yours was simple.
Smile. Walk the carpet. Perform. Leave.
And, most importantly, ignore Harry Styles.
Which, under normal circumstances, was easy.
But tonight? Tonight, it was impossible.
Because he was here.
And he was everywhere.
He was on the giant posters lining the walls of the venue. He was in the conversations drifting past you in hushed excitement. He was in the setlist, just two performances after yours.
And now—now, he was right there.
You felt him before you saw him.
A shift in the air. A current of static crawling across your skin.
And then, as if the universe had no regard for your well-being, someone moved just enough to give you a clear view across the dressing area, and there he was.
Harry.
Your breath hitched before you could stop it.
He looked different. Not in the obvious ways, he was still devastatingly Harry. Same green eyes, same sharp jawline, same damn hands in his pockets stance that had driven you insane for years.
But he wasn’t the same.
Maybe it was the way his mouth was set, not quite a frown but far from a smile. Maybe it was the way his curls were shorter than the last time you saw him. Maybe it was in his posture—tense, coiled like a wire stretched too thin.
Or maybe it was just the way he looked at you.
Because he did look at you.
Not long, not obviously, not in a way anyone else would catch.
But enough.
Enough for a flicker of something unreadable to pass through his expression. Enough for a memory—a thousand memories—to spark between you in the space of a heartbeat.
And then just as quickly as it happened, he looked away.
You exhaled. Slowly. Carefully. Your pulse pounded in your ears.
"Are you nervous?"
You blinked, the voice pulling you back to reality. Your stylist, pinning the final touch to your outfit, watching you with knowing eyes.
You forced a small, practiced smile. The kind you’d perfected in interviews. "No."
The lie tasted like metal on your tongue.
She smirked, but didn’t push.
"Your set is after intermission," she reminded you, standing back to check her work. "Then Harry’s is right after yours. So don’t disappear, okay? No sneaking off."
You hummed noncommittally, but you weren’t sure you believed yourself.
"By the way"—she glanced at the seating chart displayed on her phone—"looks like he’s sitting frontrow."
A knot formed in your stomach.
Front row. Direct line of sight.
You swallowed hard, but the lump in your throat refused to go away.
You shouldn’t care. You should be indifferent, aloof, unbothered.
But you weren’t.
And you knew why.
You knew what was coming.
Because tonight—tonight, he was going to hear it.
Your song.
Your confession.
Your heartbreak, wrapped in melody and laid bare for the world.
And for the first time since you walked away from him, Harry Styles was going to know exactly what he did to you.
But would he?
Would he truly understand?
Or would he just sit there, front row, watching you like you were nothing more than another performance—another artist on the lineup, another song that would trend for a week before fading into the noise of everything else?
Would he even realize that every note, every lyric, was a wound you never let heal?
You didn’t know.
But you knew this: once upon a time, you were everything.
It had started the way most things in the industry did—slowly, then all at once.
Banter in interviews. Side glances during afterparties. His name appearing in your text messages more often than it should.
Harry was easy to be around. He made you laugh in moments that didn’t call for it, made you feel weightless in a world that was always trying to pull you under.
The first time you met, you had rolled your eyes at something he said—something cocky, something ridiculous.
"You always this charming?" you had quipped.
He had grinned. "Wouldn’t you like to know?"
You were magnetic, drawn together in ways that felt too good, too right, too fucking inevitable.
It was easy. Until it wasn’t.
Because love with him? Love with him was never quiet.
God, the highs were blinding.
Late-night studio sessions that bled into sunrise, your laughter echoing through dimly lit recording booths. Harry sprawled out on the couch, guitar resting on his chest, humming unfinished melodies between sips of whiskey.
"Sing it again," he would say, eyes half-lidded, voice thick with sleep.
And you would.
Because you’d sing anything for him.
The first time he kissed you, it was backstage at an award show. He had just won Album of the Year, and you had thrown your arms around his neck, whispering something against his skin that neither of you would remember.
He kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life to do it.
And from that moment on, you were his.
But Harry was never just yours.
And maybe that was the problem.
It was easy to pretend it wasn’t coming apart.
Even when the fights started. Even when the space between you stretched too thin, pulled too tight, ready to snap.
It started with late nights that turned into early mornings alone.
It started with unanswered texts, with Harry missing dinner plans, with half-assed apologies that never quite felt whole.
"You can’t keep doing this," you had said one night, exhaustion weighing down every word.
He had sighed, running a hand through his curls. "I know, love. Just—just one more session. I’ll be home soon."
He never was.
The tabloids didn’t help. The endless speculation, the headlines dissecting your every move, turning your love into a spectacle.
Some nights, you would see a photo of him leaving a club, laughing with someone who wasn’t you and you would wonder if he ever felt as alone as you did.
But the worst part?
The worst part was that he never noticed.
He never saw that you were slipping through his fingers, little by little, night after night, until there was barely anything left to hold onto.
You had asked him to fight for you.
You had stood in the doorway of the home you were supposed to share, your suitcase half-zipped, your heart half-broken.
"Tell me I’m wrong," you had whispered. "Tell me I’m overreacting."
Harry had stood there, hands in his pockets, jaw clenched, the weight of the moment pressing down on him.
"You’re not wrong," he had admitted.
It was the first time in your entire relationship that he hadn’t tried to charm his way out of an argument. That he hadn’t begged you to stay.
And somehow, that was worse.
"Then fight for me," you had pleaded, voice shaking. "Tell me to stay, Harry."
His throat bobbed. His fingers twitched.
But he didn’t say it.
Not in the way you needed.
Not in the way that mattered.
"If you walk away now," you had told him, heart pounding, voice breaking, eyes burning, "I won’t wait for you."
Silence.
Long. Painful.
And then, the worst fucking words you had ever heard.
"Maybe you shouldn’t."
And just like that, you were done.
For the first time, he didn’t stop you.
The weight of the memory settled heavy in your chest, pressing against your ribs.
You had spent so long convincing yourself that leaving had been the right choice. That it had been necessary.
And maybe it had.
But tonight you were about to rip that wound open all over again.
Because the truth was, Harry might not have fought for you then.
But tonight, when the stage lights flickered to life and the first chords of Indigo filled the arena—
He would have no choice but to listen.
--
The air in the venue shifted the second the first note rang out.
A single piano chord, haunting and slow, echoed through the arena, the kind of sound that curled around the ribcage and settled deep. The kind of sound that made everything else go quiet.
You stepped forward.
The crowd roared, thousands of voices screaming your name, but it all felt distant like white noise beneath the weight pressing against your chest.
Because none of them knew.
None of them understood what this song really was.
But he did.
The camera cut to the front row, where Harry Styles sat frozen.
For the first time that night, his expression wasn’t carefully curated charm. It wasn’t polite, or unreadable, or distant.
It was wrecked.
Jaw tight. Knuckles white where his hands gripped his thighs.
His lips barely parted, as if he had just remembered how to breathe.
He knew.
You inhaled, eyes fluttering shut for half a second before you parted your lips—
And you sang.
"And I know you're worried at night / I won't find my way..."
The words fell from your mouth like something fragile, something breaking apart mid-air.
The audience sighed in unison, as if they could feel it, too.
But Harry—Harry looked like the breath had been punched from his lungs.
Because he knew exactly where those lines had come from.
You had always been terrified of being alone.
The kind of alone that didn’t just mean an empty house or a quiet room. The kind that crept into your bones even when you were surrounded by people.
He had known that.
And for a while, he had promised—sworn—that you’d never have to feel that way again.
"You’re alright, love," he had murmured once, voice thick with sleep, his arm draped over your waist. "You’ll always be alright. I’ve got you."
You had believed him.
Maybe that was the cruelest part.
Because when you needed him most, he hadn’t been there.
Your voice didn’t waver.
Not yet.
You kept singing, pushing through, letting the melody wrap around the memories like silk.
"My head says I should've never left / And then my feet will soon lead to my death..."
Harry’s throat bobbed.
His fingers twitched against his knee, like he was fighting the urge to move, to do something.
But he didn’t.
Because that was the thing about Harry, he was always just a second too late.
You had waited.
You had stood in that doorway, your suitcase by your side, waiting for him to tell you not to go.
You had needed him to give you something— anything.
But he had just stared at you, eyes stormy, fists clenched at his sides.
"I can’t—" he had started, voice thick, torn between emotion and exhaustion.
"You won’t," you had corrected.
And he hadn’t argued.
That had been the worst part.
The chorus climbed higher, each note sharper than the last.
"I used to shine bright like gold / Now I'm all indigo."
It echoed. Reverberated.
The crowd swayed, entranced by the weight of it.
But Harry looked like he was drowning.
His lips pressed together, his jaw clenched so tight you thought he might break his teeth.
Because he understood it now.
You hadn’t just left.
You had lost yourself.
And he had been the one to turn you blue.
"You don’t get it," you had whispered one night, voice raw, your hands balled into fists at your sides.
Harry had sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Then tell me, love. Tell me what you need."
You had swallowed down the lump in your throat.
"I need you to choose me."
Something flickered across his expression. Something sharp.
"That's not fair," he had murmured.
Your breath had caught.
And maybe that was when you knew.
Maybe that was when you realized you would never come first.
The song swelled.
Your voice cracked on the next lyric, but you pushed through, letting the tremor in your voice become part of the story.
"I think it’s time that I went home."
The moment shattered something.
A slow, invisible break, one only the two of you could feel.
Because this was it.
This was your closure.
Your goodbye.
And Harry knew it.
His hand finally moved—just barely—fingers twitching, shifting toward where his ring should have been.
But it wasn’t there.
Because he had taken it off.
Because he had let you slip through his fingers.
And now—now, all he could do was watch.
The last chord faded, soft, lingering.
The arena was silent. For just a moment.
Then the crowd erupted.
A standing ovation. Cheers. Flashes of camera lights.
And through it all, you lifted your eyes toward the front row.
Your gaze locked onto Harry’s.
He was still staring.
Still frozen.
Still reeling.
And for the first time in years, he looked at you the way he had always meant to.
Like he finally understood.
Like he finally saw you.
Your chest ached.
Because you should have felt victorious. Powerful.
But all you felt was tired.
So you looked away first.
And then, without another glance, you walked off the stage.
The applause followed you down the hall, echoing off the walls, loud, deafening, hollow.
Your breath was uneven. Your fingers trembled. The adrenaline still buzzed beneath your skin, but it wasn’t the high people always talked about. It wasn’t the euphoric rush of a perfect performance.
It was exhaustion.
It was the weight of him still pressing against your ribs, suffocating, drowning you in a sea of memories you had spent so long trying to escape.
You kept walking. Past the stagehands, the producers, the people offering breathless congratulations you barely registered.
All you wanted was to get to your dressing room. To lock the door. To close your eyes.
To forget how he looked at you.
But of course, the universe didn’t believe in mercy.
Because the second you turned the corner—
Harry was there.
He was waiting.
Leaning against the wall, one foot crossed over the other, hands still shoved into his pockets like he hadn’t spent the last fifteen minutes coming undone.
Like he hadn’t just sat there, front row, watching you bleed your heartbreak into a song.
But you knew better.
You saw it in the way his chest rose and fell a little too quickly. In the way his jaw was still tight, his fingers flexing at his sides like he had no idea what to do with them.
In the way his eyes found yours immediately, unflinching, unreadable.
You exhaled slowly. Braced yourself.
Then—silence.
The kind that was too heavy. The kind that made your throat tighten, your pulse hammer against your ribs.
Because what was there left to say?
You almost turned away. Almost walked past him, because this wasn’t a conversation you needed to have.
But before you could take a single step, his voice—hoarse, quiet—stopped you in your tracks.
"Was that song for me?"
You hesitated.
Not because you didn’t know the answer.
But because the answer wouldn’t change anything.
And still you looked at him.
Met his gaze, even as something sharp twisted in your stomach, even as his green eyes flickered with something dangerously close to regret.
"It was for me," you said finally, your voice even. Careful. True.
A flicker of something crossed his face.
Something that almost looked like pain.
Another silence.
Thick. Suffocating. Unforgiving.
Neither of you moved.
Neither of you broke.
And maybe that was the problem—you had always been two people too stubborn to bend, too proud to reach for each other first.
Harry swallowed. His Adam’s apple bobbed.
You knew what was coming before he said it.
"I should have stopped you."
It wasn’t an apology.
It wasn’t a plea.
It was just the truth.
Your chest ached. A deep, familiar ache.
One you had buried. One you had ignored. One that had been waiting for the moment to resurface.
"Yeah."
Your lips tilted, just slightly. A sad, barely-there smile. The kind people gave when they already knew how the story ended.
"But you didn’t."
The words hung between you, suspended in time.
His shoulders tensed. His fingers twitched.
But he didn’t argue.
Because he couldn’t.
Because this was where you had always been leading.
Not to some grand reconciliation.
Not to some last-minute, dramatic love confession that would undo all the damage, erase all the nights spent apart, rewrite the ending to something less tragic.
No.
This was closure.
And that was the cruelest part of all.
You stepped back first.
A breath. A beat. A quiet kind of surrender.
Then, softly—"Goodbye, Harry."
His lips parted. His chest rose, fell. Like he wanted to stop you.
Like he wanted to change his mind.
Like he wanted to say all the things he never did.
But he didn’t.
And you—you didn’t wait.
You turned.
And this time, he let you go.
The door closed behind you with a quiet click.
That was it.
No last-minute chase. No fingers wrapping around your wrist to pull you back. No whispered stay.
Just silence.
Harry stood there for a long time, his hands still shoved deep in his pockets, his jaw tight, his chest rising and falling in uneven breaths.
You were gone.
And this time, you weren’t coming back.
--
The performance was already going viral before you even made it back to your hotel room.
Within minutes, Twitter had been set on fire.
#Y/NIndigoLive was trending worldwide.
“Indigo isn’t just a song. It’s a confession.”
“Y/N’s voice breaking on ‘I think it’s time that I went home’ absolutely ruined me.”
“Harry’s face during the performance… yeah, that man is NOT okay.”
The side-by-side clips were everywhere.
Your voice, raw and aching.
Harry, sitting in the front row, completely still.
One video had racked up a million views in less than an hour. A slow-motion zoom-in of his fingers twitching against his knee, his jaw tightening when you sang:
"I used to shine bright like gold / Now I’m all indigo."
"Is he crying???" one tweet read.
Another: “No but the way his throat bobbed like he was trying not to break down???? HELP????”
Even worse—someone had caught the backstage moment.
The footage was shaky, taken from down the hall, but it was clear enough.
The way he stood there, waiting for you. The way you faced him, expression unreadable. The way he stepped forward, hesitated—like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.
And then—the way you walked away.
"The way she says goodbye but never looks back… they’re actually killing me."
"I feel SICK watching this. He just LET HER GO???"
Somewhere, someone had already slowed it down. Had already looped the footage to overlap with the most devastating part of your song.
"I should have stopped you."
"Yeah."
"But you didn’t."
And in the final frame—Harry still standing there. Frozen.
Watching you leave.
--
He saw the clips. The headlines. The frantic speculation.
He saw his own face in the screenshots—the way he had looked at you like you were slipping through his fingers all over again.
His phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.
Jeff: Are you okay? Call me.
Mitch: You good, mate?
His sister. His mum. His friends.
Everyone had something to say.
But Harry had nothing.
He sat in the dim glow of his hotel room, his phone heavy in his palm, the screen reflecting back everything he already knew.
He had spent a year trying to move forward, trying to not think about it. Trying to convince himself that what happened had been inevitable.
That he had made peace with it.
But watching you on that stage—watching you sing the words you never got to say—it was like watching a mirror shatter, every carefully placed piece falling apart in real time.
His thumb hovered over your name in his contacts.
He could call.
He could text.
He could type something—anything.
But what would he even say?
That he was sorry? That he had been wrong?
That he should have fought for you, should have chased after you, should have never let you leave in the first place?
Would it even matter now?
Or was he too late?
The cursor blinked in the empty message box.
He exhaled.
And then—slowly, painfully, deliberately—he locked his phone and set it face-down on the nightstand.
He didn’t type the message.
He didn’t send it.
Because the truth was—
He could have stopped you.
But he didn’t.
And now, it was too late.
--
The next morning, the tabloids were relentless.
Every article dissected the performance, the song, the moment.
“Indigo: A Song of Regret, or a Final Goodbye?”
“Harry Styles Watches Y/N’s Performance Like a Man Who Knows He Messed Up.”
“A Love Story Left Unfinished.”
But you didn’t read them.
You didn’t check Twitter.
You didn’t answer your phone.
You just packed your bags, slipped on your sunglasses, and left the hotel without looking back.
Harry was somewhere in that same building.
Maybe he was awake, scrolling through the same headlines. Maybe he was still in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying your voice in his head.
Maybe he was standing at his window, watching the city move below him.
But it didn’t matter.
Because you weren’t going to see him again.
You stepped into the car, pulling the door shut behind you.
And as the driver pulled away, you let your head fall back against the seat, eyes fluttering shut, the last line of the song still ringing in your ears.
"I used to shine bright like gold. Now I’m all indigo."
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆
Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like ❤️🔥
warnings: swearing, lots and lots of sap, harry being cute (😡)
.
“Thanks for coming over, I really appreciate you answering my message.”
You nod and smile politely, eyes travelling around the glass shelving in the centre of the room, a few books displayed here and there, a particularly prominent one in the middle, propped next to a gold plaque. This is the only book that reads New York Times Bestseller, and you suddenly click the pieces together.
“Oh wow, bestseller? That’s incredible.” You remark, pointing to the book. She smiles, thanking you sweetly before offering you a drink and a seat on her plush sofa. You felt awkward, to say the least, but you weren’t about to be rude to this girl, when she graciously invited you into her London flat to sort things out.
“I have Harry’s team to thank for that one.” She raises her eyebrows, nodding less than enthusiastically, and although it makes you stiffen, you reply firmly, “No, you have your own penmanship to thank. They just gave you that extra push.”
Her face softens at this. “See, you’re such a nice person. That’s why I wanted to ask you over. I don’t like having bad blood with women, it doesn’t sit right with me.”
“There’s no bad blood here, trust me.” You laugh weakly, “I’m the least confrontational person you’ll meet.”
“At least let me apologise above all Y/N. It was my fault the meeting ended up with a few drinks here and there, I wasn’t at all trying to take Harry away from your commitments. I genuinely had no idea. I really don’t want you to think I was scheming, my best friend just showed up with shots at the table because we found out that night that my book outsold most in its genre.” She laughs nervously, her cheeks turning pink, and you suddenly feel bad for the bitter thoughts you had about her. You shake your head, taking a sip from you tea and puffing out a breath.
“No, God, please don’t apologise. Shit, now I feel really guilty.” You laugh, pressing your hands to your cheeks to quell the blushing.
“No! Oh my god, please don’t feel bad! I would want to give me a clip around the ear if I was you.” She leans forward, placing a hand on your arm. It’s comforting, to say the least, and you feel yourself lightening slightly. This is a step forward.
“Harry is the one I want to clip around the ear, babe.”
“He would let you. That man is whipped. You should have heard how much he would go on about you when we’d go on public outings and stuff. The way he described you made me like you instantly.”
You feel your heart this quicker and avoid eye contact, wrapping your hands around the mug once again to busy them, so she wouldn’t see them shaking. What was he talking to her about?
“He’s not- we’re not…dating or anything.” You stammer. She squints and nods with an unconvinced look on her face.
“It sounded like he wished you were.” She remarks, finally taking a sip of her coffee and smiling, as if she didn’t just shatter your entire earth around you.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, the way he spoke about you two, I guess. I remember him saying that he hoped you knew each other in every walk of life, or something, because you’re like soulmates. I asked him if he meant romantically and he just went red and didn’t answer. It made me tear up so badly that I used it in my book, so please don’t tell him I told you.” She cackles. Your body feels all warm and fuzzy inside, and it’s like you’ve been carrying a heavy weight for so long that someone had finally relieved. Did Harry truthfully feel the same way as you?
“He said that?” You whisper in disbelief. She nods, knowing smile on her face. “He’s never said anything like that to my face.”
“Now I can’t speak for him, but I think he’s a little bit obsessed with you. To the point where he felt like he had to reel himself in a bit and create distance so you wouldn’t find him too much.”
She’s revealing so much information that’s answering so many questions in your head, it almost feels like Harry has scripted this out and asked her to say it verbatim back to you. You sigh shakily, digesting all of this as it comes. Him saying that he was sure the meeting was business, him missing a few of your prior commitments, because he felt like he was being too much.
“Has he ever mentioned…like? Feelings?” You stammer, ringing your hands together and looking at her innocently. Her hand is warm as it slips out of her mug and captures yours tightly.
“Y/N. The only person you can ask that question, is Harry.”
And off you went, finishing the cup of tea she made you after draining every ounce of information you could out of her brain before she was apologising and rushing out of the door beside you to meet her editor. As she departed down the street in her tall heels, she planted a kiss on your cheek.
“Go and give him a peace of your mind, and then go and tell him how you feel. It’s not worth waiting, my love. If he goes weird, let him go weird. At least you can move on with your life knowing you at least jumped at the opportunity. We only get one.”
And you could see why she was a writer, she spoke passionately, as if she was delivering a life-changing monologue in a Young Adult film set in the nineties. It made a lump form in your throat, and you had to will away tears as you stood in the bitter winter weather of West London.
Tears threaten slip hotly down your cheeks as you march down the street, ignoring the fact that it was starting the sleet, and how this was the most predictable reunion you could ever orchestrate. You’re past caring at this point, locating whereabouts you are exactly in relation to his usual studio, setting off on foot to find him. You recalled Sarah that morning saying he was going in to record that day so you figured you’d try your luck. The sight of Harry’s small yellow car stirs up something inside you when you finally reach the small jaunty studio.
“What the fuck am I doing?” You breathe, staring at the door looking bewildered. Impulse brought you here, and now you’re not sure how to let the rest of the plan unfold.
“Y/N?” A voice warms the chill in your spine from the wet snow falling, and you spin around. Harry stands at a side door down the small alleyway, phone pressed to his ear and a sad frown etched on his features.
“Hey.” You manage.
“Hi.” He matches your breathless tone.
“I- wanted. Erm…Can we talk?” You stammer, wrapping your hands around your body more to contain your body heat. He falters for a second, removing the phone and looking at the call that wasn’t going through, before looking back at you. He snaps out of his daze.
“Yeah, yes of course. Come in, I bet you’re freezing.” You almost laugh at the irony, considering you found yourselves in the cold last time your relationship went on a different trajectory. He leads you through colourful corridors, reaching a studio and pushing in. You smell his usual pumpkin scented candle he likes to take wherever he goes and needs a piece of home. It makes you feel nostalgic.
“Are you okay? Why are you on this side of London?” He queries, awkwardly shutting off a very melancholy-sounding demo that croons through the speakers, itching the back of his neck.
“I was in the area. Remembered your studio was here.” Is all you say, shrugging and perching on a beanbag in the corner of the room.
“Oh, yeah. So, erm. How have you been?” He struggles, crossing and un-crossing his legs. You watch sadly, seeing him so uneasy because you hadn’t seen each other or spoken a word for weeks was heart wrenching.
You look down at your rings and twist them around, not answering for a minute and just basking in the silence.
“Um-” your voice cracks slightly but you clear it, “I’ve been better, if I’m honest.”
His answer seems to surprise him, his eyebrows lifting slightly and then frowning. “Oh?”
You nod, feeling your bottom lip trembling. God, you were already getting emotional and you hadn’t been there for longer than ten minutes. The tears don’t spill yet, and you take it as a chance to speak through the clarity of your voice before it got even higher and thicker with tears.
“It’s been quiet without you.” You confess. He holds your eyes, bouncing his gaze between the two and sighing through his nose. He nods, rubbing his hands on his legs (something he did when nervous).
“It’s never been so silent…and tidy in my house.” He lets out a small giggle as he says it, smile stretching up his face. You shake your head, letting a tear or two slip down your cheek. A laugh splutters out of you and swipe your nose, praying that he doesn’t notice your trembling hands. “Shut up.”
He raised his hands in faux defence, and god had you missed him. A lot.
“I hate this.” You whine through the tears, “we’ve never fought like this before, H.” His face immediately softens into a sad grimace.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He shakes his head, hanging it low on his neck in defeat. “I was a shitty friend. A really, really shitty friend. Like off the scale, shitty.” You shake your head, but he goes on, “I was too caught up in making my boss happy and making my career better to focus on the one person who means the most to me.”
You’re not even sure if you can classify the feeling in your stomach as butterflies, because it feels more like an overwhelming bout of nausea, almost as if you’re back on a ferry as a child, leaning over the edge and hoping you don’t fall.
“Me?” Your voice is small and he gives you a deadpan look.
“No, Sarah.” He jests. “Of course it’s you. God, you don’t know half of the things I would do for you, do you?”
You wipe the tears from your lashes and duck your head, feeling slightly shy at his words. Now’s the time to tell him, you think.
Your heart thuds and you rub the sweat from your palms to quell your anxiety. This moment had awaited you for too long, and you think here, right now, in the middle of a random studio in London, you’re about to tell Harry that you love him. And that you’ve loved him since you can remember.
“I feel that way about you too. But, not in the sense that you’d think…” he swallows and you don’t even dare raise your eyes from their fixed place on his neck, “I guess, the reason I was so angry that day, was because you mean a lot to me. It’s hard feeling like the person you love hasn’t got time for you…”
“You know I’ve got love for you too, Y/N-“
“That’s where we differ, because I’m in love with you. Like, pathetically in love with you?” Your voice tail ends like a question, because you’re full of insecurity. The tears are free-flowing now, and your body is trembling as though you’re still stuck in the sleet. “…And I’m fucking sick of keeping it to myself, Harry, okay? I’ve had it with me for too long.”
“Y/N…” his solemn tone throws you off, and it kicks your body into action.
“No, Harry, please. If you’re going to shoot me down, it’s fine. Don’t bother. I just needed you to know that, okay?” You’re full on crying now, standing up as if you’re going to leave. Harry beats you to it, surging forward and grabbing your shoulders gently.
“Y/N. Please don’t go. Just hear me out.” He pleads, ducking his chin to look into your eyes. You finally meet his gaze and his eyes are like marbles, a sheen to them as though he’s ready to start crying to. He lets out a breath in disbelief and shakes his head, looking down before looking back up.
“I’ve been writing like crazy since our fight. Like, song after song, yeah? I really tried to tap into the feeling of you leaving, and it all just came out of me like a river…” his head cocks to the multitude of scribbling over papers strewn across the room.
“Are you trying to make me feel guilty, because it’s working—”
“No! No. Y/N. You’re not getting it. I’ve been writing about you. You’re my muse, because…well- I- I love you too. But like, love you, love you. Not in a friendly way. And I meant what I said, when I told you I need you…to do all of this.” He gestures to the studio around him, but you know he means generally, living the life he has now.
“You’re the one consistent thing I’ve had since I was a teenager, and I don’t fucking want to change that now. I’m not me without you, y’know. Just ask Mitch, I’ve been a grumpy fucker these past weeks.”
The small punctuation of humour makes you laugh sadly, feeling his thumb come up to brush your cheeks and wipe the wetness that now trails down your neck and on to your scarf.
“Really?” You pout, letting out another cry when he nods, finally embracing you tightly to his body. He laughs through a couple of shed tears and kisses you on the cheek.
“I hate seeing you cry. Got me all emotional now.” He tuts, sniffling. You pull back, completely unbothered about how crazy you look with your makeup running down your face, eyes set on his lips as you boldly weave your fingers through his hair. All of the tension and multitude of emotions boiled up to this point, and you could feel the yearning almost emanating off you. Seeing him and getting emotional almost toppled the cup of feelings you had for him, and now you couldn’t stop the overflow. His nose leans against yours and he blinks slowly, a small smile on his face. You tease your lips towards his but he pulls back.
“Oh yeah?”
“Are you gonna kiss me, or what, you prick?”
“Looking like that? Of course.” He jokes, and you smack his shoulder.
“Ow! Joking.” He grins, but it soon drops and he leans forward, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. You grip his collared shirt and sigh, the feeling of his lips on yours for the first time making your heart swell with love. The kiss is innocent, and sweet, the slowness of it reflecting both of your wishes of how you want this thing to begin.
“Hm. Love you.” He breathes against your lips, wrapping his arms tighter around you, pressing your bodies impossibly closer together. “I love you so fucking much.”
You pull away, “Don’t fucking talk like that because I’ll start crying again.”
“You’re just a sap, I think.” He teases, pushing hair out of your forehead and kissing the corner of your mouth.
“Oh yeah? What’s that little demo you were playing as I walked in, hm?” You try and wrestle from his hold to press the play button. He strains, holding your body tightly and laughing loudly.
“It was my backup plan to come and confess my love to you in the rain with a boom box, but you already orchestrated the whole 90s romantic comedy thing, so…”
“Thin ice.” You warn, but both of your actions hold nothing but malice as you realise you really enjoy kissing one another. He flicks the button and a warm reverb of a guitar huns through the studio, making you pull away and listen in awe. His voice holds nothing but sadness and pain, and it twists your insides like a cloth being wrung.
“You know,” you mumble over the music in the studio, “this is the saddest song I’ve ever slow danced to, I think.” he’s swaying your body gently from side to side now, a small grin on his face. His eyes are deep like wells, but in the way that seems like they’re guarding so much emotion behind them, that can’t be conveyed with words.
“I wrote this one after going on a date with a girl that looked exactly like you, but just wasn’t… you.” He confesses, rubbing his hand in circles over your back. You quietly listen to the lyrics and observe him, seeing how he is practically laying himself bare for you to take. You want to feel jealous, at what he says, but you can’t. Not when a song as personal as this was written when yearning the absence of you.
“I think you’re my soulmate too, Harry. You know that?” You whisper. If his expression could turn even more sappy than before, it does, before it contorts in confusion. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
“She told you, didn’t she?”
You burst out laughing, stopping his complaining with a deeper kiss to his lips. He hums, pinching your hip.
“Maybe. You’re a true artiste with your words, honey.” His mouth twitches at the pet name. “I’d keep an eye out for plagiarism, though, apparently you and I are the muse for her next publishing.”
“Is that right?” You nod.
“Better give her a good story then, hm?”
.
HERE IT IS! this was the umpteenth draft and my brain is now frazzled. i’m really happy with it, so i hope you enjoy my loves. thanks for the support and the kind words! it’s a bit longer than the first, you’re welcome ;) - M x
well you certainly know how the recipe to make people sad!
29: Leaving flowers at their grave.
Summer had never felt so cold.
349 days had gone by and yet every one of them had felt grey. There was no more yellow, or orange or green. No colours, no rainbow. Just grey.
Moving one foot infront of the other was hard. It was effort and it felt unnecessary. It was becoming harder and harder to find a reason to wake up each morning and begin a new day that would be the same yesterday. Then it was even harder going to bed, knowing that tomorrow was going to be just like today.
It was an endless dreaded cycle of grey.
There was nothing to look forward to. Nothing to smile over. Nothing to inspire even a dash of colour. Nothing. The world felt empty. As empty as the hole of a heart that once beat for love, but now just beat to survive.
Harry knew that you wouldn't want this for him. He didn't like thinking that you could see him like this - an eternal cloud of grey. But that's who he had become. He was the shell of a man now. His colour and his light had left with you, journeying to a peaceful unknown.
"Hi, my love." Harry stood at your grave, like he did every Thursday.
He used to visit your grave twice every day. Then once a day. His therapist had managed to convince him to try only twice a week and now he was back here again for his weekly Thursday visit.
To anyone else, it was weird that it was always a Thursday but to Harry it made sense. You used to hate Thursdays. They claimed Wednesday was hump day, but because you also worked a Saturday shift your hump day was in fact a Thursday. It was also the best day of the week, because it was the worst. Harry would extra love on you, cook for you, kiss on you. He would do anything for you.
He still wished he could.
"It's Thursday. I brought you your favourites." He laid down your favourite flowers on your gravestone.
Y/N Styles
A champion who never gave up her fight.
Loved by all.
It was hard for Harry to look over the words without crying still. He hadn't moved on, no matter what he told his therapist. He wouldn't ever move on and he wasn't even sure that he wanted to.
You had been it for him. You had been his person and he refused to believe anything other than that. There was no point in moving on from you because there was no other you. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted you, dammit.
"Your mum called, again. She asked how you're doing." Harry chuckled to himself. "It's getting harder and harder to pretend with her that you're still here. She thinks that you've been baking brownies again. Just for her. Y/N, I had to learn how to make brownies just in case she remembers."
Your mum suffered from dementia, but it was very selective. There were bits of her life she remembered and there parts she completely forgot. You, for example, still existed - you still shone out your colours - so she'd ask Harry when you'd visit. He'd always tell her the next day. "She'll come tomorrow, Angie." He told your mum that, but really he was saying it to himself in hope that you would listen and walk back through the front door.
Each time though, the door stayed closed.
"They were pretty shit, the brownies. I blame you. You never did tell me that secret ingredient." Harry sadly smiled, before crouching down in front of your gravestone.
He ran his fingers over your name as if it was the only part of you that he could still touch.
PATREON: Harry is being stalked, so Y/N pretends to be his girlfriend (Flatmate Series)
This is a sneak peek. Read the full blurb here.
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.
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“She’s staring. Pretend to laugh at something I said.”
Y/N avoided looking in the same direction because Amanda scared her. She put a hand over her mouth and fake-laughed, her head tossed back. “Oh, Harry, you’re so funny when you tell your dad jokes.”
Harry started faking laughing, too. “There’s nothing wrong with my dad jokes.”
Y/N continued laughing. “I beg to differ, but hey, your friends are here!”
She started waving as Niall and Layla pushed through the singing drunk men and approached her and Harry. Layla had a disgusted look on her face. Y/N thought she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to be here. But she was quick to realise that look was for her, not the pub, because Layla immediately pointed to her and said, “Um, why is she here?”
Niall, on the other hand, seemed thrilled as he punched the air. “Yess! Did my plan work?”
Layla blinked at him. “What plan?”
Harry took a sip of his rum. “Y/N’s pretending to be my girlfriend so Amanda would leave me alone.”
“And it worked,” Y/N said.
Layla burst out laughing. “Oh, it hasn’t. Trust me.” She craned her neck to search for Amanda, then her lips curled into a mischievous smirk. “Crazy Amanda doesn’t give up so easily.” She turned back to Harry and Y/N. “Last year she even faked a pregnancy and traumatised a freshman.”
Harry choked on his rum and nearly dropped the glass.
“Jesus, Harry you okay?” Niall cried out.
Harry was coughing violently as he nodded. “Yes, no, I’ll get another rum,” he told the bartender, who nodded coldly and went ahead to make him his drink.
She builds up her confidence and he takes care of her, just as he promised he would..
(part 10)
masterlist // ivy series
word count: 26.7k
warnings/tags: harry x oc, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, smut (p in v), fem masturbation, oral f receiving, lhh
One month had passed since they made things official, and they were better than ever. Harry took her out on their anniversary, making a big deal out of what she thought was such a simple thing. Yet, she enjoyed every second of their dinner and movie, and of course the kissing that came afterwards. He wanted to celebrate her, wanted to make sure she knew he adored her and appreciated the chance he had to be with her.
They kept their at least one date a week promise with one another. They switched things up, some of the dates were planned by Ivy instead of him. No matter what they decided to do, Harry would greet her with a bouquet of flowers and a mumble of how much she meant to him as she tried to tell him he did too much for her. He always chose to drive them to take the lead and be traditional, well somewhat. One night, they went to see a movie that Ivy was excited about. Harry didn’t have an opinion on it, he just agreed to take her so he could be with her. He enjoyed it, though. The movie and the snacks were alright, but Ivy holding his hand and sneaking kisses to his cheek was his favorite part of the night. The other date nights consisted of trying different restaurants and choosing a sweet treat to indulge in after. They switched up who’s house they ended up going to after each date. They’d spend the weekend at Harry’s, then the next at Ivy’s. It was quite odd that they each preferred the other’s home. Ivy thought Harry’s room was more excluded and private, and it offered her a peace of mind to know that Niall couldn’t hear them if he were at home. On the other hand, Harry thought her bed was better to snuggle and sleep late in. They enjoyed each other's company so much that it didn’t really matter.
There were many occasions throughout the month when Harry leaned in to kiss her and she quickly took over, throwing her leg over his lap or pulling him against her on the couch. They would deepen the kiss, tongues fighting and spit mixing in their mouths, until Ivy grunted and pulled away. She’d apologize for leading him on, and he’d just smile and shake his head at her, assuring her she was fine. He had no issue with what she chose to do or not to do. He wanted her to be comfortable, and it was a long process for her to learn that. He was never going to be upset with her for stopping herself. Sometimes he went too far himself and he had to stop.
Their date for this week was planned a tad bit differently than the previous ones. Instead of waiting until it got dark to do anything, Ivy thought it would be nice to go to a park and have a little picnic. Harry was up for anything as long as she was involved.
“Is this a good spot?” Ivy twisted around to ask, her hand gesturing to the open spot of grass beneath a cluster of trees.
“Yeah, this is nice.” Harry nodded while unfolding the blanket she brought.
She didn't ask him to carry everything, but he practically gave her no choice when they arrived. With a sweet smile, she took the reusable tote bag from his arm so he could properly deal with the blanket. He laid it out on the ground, patting the corners down with his foot.
“Perfect!”
He let out a soft laugh as she fell to her knees on the blanket. He joined her, opting to stretch out his legs as he watched her unpack the bag. Before they left her house, she had made them a pitcher of fresh lemonade. Harry was impressed at her effort, and at the taste - he had a small sip before she poured it in the plastic tumblers.
“It’s such a pretty day.” Ivy mumbled as she glanced up at the sky, the limbs of the trees above them were home to blooming flowers and bright leaves. Spring was her favorite time of year.
“Not as pretty as you.” Harry smiled when she rolled her eyes and blush rose to her cheeks. “What all did you bring?”
She pulled out a glass container with a plastic lid. Inside of it was a mix of strawberries and blueberries. She sat it down, Harry’s eyes following her hands as she set everything up.
“Bunch of yummy snacks.” She grinned as she caught his glance.
She had another container with pretzels and chocolate chips in it. Harry thought the addition of the chocolate was cute. She liked a good sweet treat.
Ivy grabbed the item Harry dropped in the bag in the car. “Here’s your journal.”
He had mentioned to her that he wanted to show her something, that’s why he brought it. He sat it next to him to worry about in a little while.
“These strawberries smell amazing.” She sighed as she popped the top off the container.
Harry watched with a smile as she picked up one of the strawberries and bit off the bottom, humming as the sweet taste filled her mouth.
“Do you want one?”
“Depends. Are you gonna feed it to me?” He said playfully.
Ivy lifted her brows and picked up one of the strawberries. She leaned toward, poking his lips. Harry chuckled before opening his mouth and sinking his teeth into the berry. He grabbed her wrist and held her hand in the air so he could bite the rest, leaving the leaves in her grasp.
“Don’t expect that to happen again.” She teased, flashing him a grin.
“I should be the one doing it, hm?”
“Yes.” Ivy slid the container towards him and walked on her knees to get closer.
He watched with a bright smile, amused by her actions as she got situated between his legs. He drew his knee up, providing her back some support. Ivy threw her legs over his other one and reached up to grab his jaw. She placed a kiss on his lips before grabbing another strawberry.
“You’re cute, y’know.” He mumbled as he kissed her temple.
“You tell me all the time. How could I forget?”
She went to collect a few blueberries, but he gently knocked her hand away from the bowl and grabbed them himself. She smiled, giggling softly as he brought one to her lips. He popped it in her mouth and pressed a kiss to her skin as she chewed it.
“Thank you.” She whispered.
“My pleasure, darling.” He gave her another one.
They stayed like that for a while. He’d feed her a piece of fruit and she’d sneak a quick kiss as a thank you. Harry couldn’t resist staring at her as she flicked her eyes around, looking at the trees and the bright green grass. While she took in the sights of nature, he admired every detail about her.
In his eyes, she looked absolutely beautiful today. Her skin was glowing as the sun shined down on her, her eyes sparkled in the natural light. Even her hair had a glow to it. He swallowed gently as he moved his eyes to her jaw, then slowly down her neck. Her skin was exposed, soaking up the sun with a gentle flush. Although they agreed the date would be more casual, she still opted for a dress. It was a loose fitting sundress covered in a floral pattern with thin straps. She wanted to be comfortable, yet still somewhat dressed for the occasion. Harry’s t-shirt and jeans were just a step down from her attire, but she thought he looked nice and handsome.
The thin layer of gloss remaining on her lips caught his eye. He was so in love with this girl, so infatuated and obsessed and in love. Just as she went to grab one of the berries, Harry carefully grabbed her chin between his fingers and pulled her head over, his lips molding to hers. She smiled, then deepened the kiss. He always let her get control over him, he easily gave it to her. This time was no different. His touch fell from her chin, but she reconnected with him by grabbing onto his neck. There was something so possessive about the way she would touch him - something that made his head spin. They didn’t go too far, keeping in mind the fact they were in public and the park wasn’t vacant. As Ivy pulled back, her fingers moved to his jaw, those pretty eyes opened to find his.
“Something on your mind?” Her brows dropped as she noticed the look in his eyes.
He shook his head. “Just thinking about you.”
Her lips turned up, her smile causing his stomach to bubble. “Why think about me when I’m right here, hm?”
Her cheeky words pulled a chuckle out of him. He held her body tight, almost as if the wind would blow her away. He never wanted her to leave, never wanted to lose her. Ivy realized quickly that the look hadn’t faded.
“Is it something else?” She asked in a soft whisper, her thumb toying at the corner of his mouth.
Harry looked away from her and put on a smile. It wasn’t necessarily fake, but it was forced. He did have more on his mind, a lot more. Even though everything between them seemed perfect, he still had those lingering thoughts in his head. She’s so beautiful, so beautiful that she deserves someone else. She’s so precious, so precious that one wrong word from his mouth could hurt her. She’s so fragile, so fragile that one rough touch could destroy her..
She tapped her thumb on his lips, trying to reclaim his attention. “Harry, what’s wrong? I don’t want you to be sad.”
“M’not sad, baby.” He returned his gaze to her, but she could sense something was still off.
“It must be something.”
He was quick to respond. “I promise, darling, it’s nothing. I would tell you if it was.”
The way his lips melted to a soft smile and his eyes peered into hers was just enough to have her believe his lie. He had a way of looking at her sometimes. The right expression could just make her heart swell and her head go dizzy - the truth of the situation or the curiosity of it all vanishes. She believed him too easily sometimes, and he was very aware of that.
“Okay.” She sweetly mumbled, pecking his dimple a few times.
He squeezed her waist and gave her one on the lips, further distracting her from the fact he lied to her. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to know she believed him. He despised himself for lying to her, for being able to win her over. Yet, he still did it too often.
“Have I told you I love your dress?”
Blush flooded her cheeks as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, the wind was blowing it around. “No, but thank you.”
“It’s very pretty.” Harry said with a smirk. “You look like an angel.”
Ivy rolled her eyes with a grin. “Yeah, sure.”
“My angel, hm?” He planted a kiss on her temple, keeping her close for a moment.
Ivy chewed on her cheek as she tried to ignore the heat burning on her face, and that didn’t include the rays from the sun. Her eyes fell down the journal Harry brought with him. It was one she was familiar with seeing. She’d seen it on his desk whenever she stayed over, but it was always closed with a pen or two sitting on top of it. She never dared to look at it without his permission. She wouldn’t want him peeking in her diaries, so she would never look at his personal items.
She didn’t realize she had leaned up, her hand reaching out for the book. She gently placed her fingertips on the leather. Harry watched in silence as she rubbed over the texture. There was no sign of her wanting to grab it, she was just touching it.
“Might be an angel.. but you’re still my curious little cat.” Harry’s words came out in a low voice, a rumble that made her stomach fill with butterflies.
She had been caught and she didn’t even know she was doing it. She pulled her hand back and returned to her previous position.
“Sorry.”
Harry grabbed the book and offered it to her. “Don’t apologize.”
“What?” She was confused as she took it from him.
He smiled. “You can open it.”
Ivy was in disbelief. “You’re letting me look at this?”
“Yeah, do whatever you want with it.” He gave her an approving nod, but there was still hesitation.
“Are you sure?”
He placed a quick kiss to her lips, smiling when he leaned back and saw how adorable she was while trying to hide her blushing cheeks. “Yes, love. Whatever you want to read.. I don’t care. I want you to.”
Although she didn’t question it anymore, she was still slightly nervous as she ran her finger along the edge of the cover before lifting it up, revealing the inside of the journal. Ivy took a deep breath and gently let it out as she scanned over the first page. There wasn’t much written down. There was a quote from a movie she had never seen jotted down in the corner and a message about who the book belonged to and contact information in case it was ever lost. The next spread was more packed, his mind began to spill out on the pages. It was making her stomach knot up as she looked at his personal writings. She wondered if he was actually comfortable with her doing this or if he just wanted to please her curiosity. Harry watched closely as she turned the page again. His eyes were glued to the side of her face, trying his best to read her expressions or pick up any hints of reactions. She was focused, though, and the only movements she did were gentle lifts of her brows and very subtle smiles, both of which intrigued him.
Harry was curious to know what she was thinking. Was she reading every little thing or just letting her attention be drawn to certain things? He knew what was in the journal and it was honestly terrifying to know she’d see some of the stuff, but he was staying confident. He wanted her to know everything about him. Sometimes he was not very well with spoken words. It wasn’t a secret that he wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings or thoughts. Perhaps this would help him, show Ivy the bits and pieces he couldn’t express out loud.
After flipping through some of the pages, noticing some short poems and random doodles, she landed on one that caught her eye. She saw her name in the upper right corner, a small drawing resembling an ivy leaf accompanied it. She read over the spread. It was full of little notes, some were scratched out while others had stars written next to them. In the bottom of the page was the phrase “make this a song” followed by a question mark. There was something about seeing his handwriting jotted down on the paper that made her heart flutter. She reached for the words, running her fingertips over the indention the pen left in the paper. The words he wanted to turn into a song jumped out at her, taking her full attention.
Put a price on emotion. I’m looking for something to buy.
Harry dropped his gaze down to where her touch was. “If you go a few more pages.. the full song is written out.”
When her eyes flew to his, he couldn’t help but smile. She seemed very surprised and still a bit confused. Ivy gulped loud enough for him to hear, and it was just as cute as her confusion.
“It’s a song I wrote about you.. a while ago.” He explained. “Before we started dating.”
“A.. a song?” Her brows furrowed as a breathy laugh slipped out of her mouth. “You really wrote a song about me?”
Harry chuckled, amused by her surprise. “I told you that I did. Do you remember?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I just thought.. you were being sweet.”
Harry gathered her hair and carefully pulled it back, the wind had jostled it around and it was in her way. She felt her heart jump as he did it. He was always so gentle with her.
“How long have I been a muse?” She was trying to be cheeky, despite wanting to melt in his arms and cry about how incredible she felt.
He licked his lips, smiling at her cute question. “I, um, I’ve been writing about you since.. um, that night at the restaurant. I just.. realized how intriguing you were. Tried to ignore it, but it was too hard.”
Ivy instantly thought about how she spilled her guts in her diary after that night. She was so beyond frustrated and confused by his actions then, so worried that she had done something to make him hate her forever. She recalled how hard it was to battle her thoughts - did she like him or was she just intrigued by his appearance? Those days were the worst. It was challenging and hard to decipher. Now, she’s so deep in love with him that none of that matters anymore.
“I’ve written a lot about you.. not songs or poems, but just.. stuff.”
“Stuff?” He cracked a smile.
She pushed out a sigh. “Some of it wasn’t nice.. I just vented a lot. Most of it is nice, well, more like insane.. like I’m obsessed with you.”
“That’s fine with me. I like the attention.” He shrugged, chuckling as she rolled her eyes.
“I’m not going to lie to you, I wouldn’t ever let you read my diary.”
A smile shaped on his lips. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”
Ivy’s focus fell back down to the page she still hadn’t turned. She was very interesting in finding the page with the song lyrics written out, but she was suddenly lost in her head. She thought about those angry pages in her diary. Her emotions poured out in such a raging way at times.
“What’s wrong?” Harry mumbled, moving his hand to her waist to give it a comforting squeeze.
“Just.. thinking about how upset I used to get.. back when I didn’t understand you.”
His heart sank as he saw how her features shifted. She wasn’t smiling and bubbly anymore, not even blushing from his words or trying to act brave. She seemed upset, and he wasn't enjoying that.
“Baby, don’t worry about it. I.. I did a lot of stupid things that should’ve made you mad. I don’t blame you for feeling that way.” He reached up to gently touch her jaw, turning her head towards him. Sometimes when he did that, it took more force, but right now she was putty in his hands. “Don’t be sad, darling.”
“M’not trying to be.” She pouted her lips out, wishing she could melt into his touch.
“Then don’t be.” He kept his smile on, wanting her to feel better instead of falling further into the sad thoughts. “I want you to read the song. Do you still wanna see it?”
She nodded, moving her head back as his hand fell. She flipped the page, opening the next spread. Even though her brain was screaming about how she should be ashamed of the things she wrote about him, her heart was stronger. They were on a date and he deserved all of her attention.
There was nothing relating to the line on the pages, so she turned again. Harry wasn’t quite sure which set of pages held the song, but he knew it was close to that original note he made. This spread was filled with random things, though, like most of the others.
“Oh.” She said as she turned the page, revealing the song that Harry wanted her to read.
The title was written at the top in larger letters than the rest of the words. She couldn’t hold back her smile as she realized he had written a full song about her and it appeared that the song had been annotated. He was fully invested in making it perfect.
“It’s not very, um, lovey dovey.. but.. I hope you like it.” He told her as she began to trail her eyes over the lyrics.
She didn’t say anything, just stayed quiet as she read. She could sense Harry’s stare on the side of her face, and the feeling of his hand gripping her waist was distracting. Despite all that, she was calm as she read over the words he combined into lines, words that he put together into a song for her. Her heart swelled as she realized how serious this was. This was a song, not just a note or a paragraph about her.
Ivy rubbed her fingertip over the last line, feeling the depth his pen pressure created in the paper. She could feel her eyes watering over, and it was too hard to control it. As a tear slipped down her cheek, Harry grunted and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“Ivy.” He muttered her name, the sound was so perfect and beautiful to her. “Why are you crying?”
She couldn’t quite get her thoughts together right away. The only thing she could do was read over the song again as Harry patiently waited for her to reply. He kept pressing soft kisses onto her skin, doing his best to make her feel better. After a few minutes of tears falling from her eyes, she finally sucked in a breath.
“You wrote.. a song.. for me.”
Harry smiled gently as he realized she wasn't upset in a bad way. “I’ve written a lot of songs about you, baby.”
“That’s so sweet and.. and it means a lot to me.” She looked over at him, her eyes red from the tears and her lips poking out as she failed to contain her emotions. “Thank you.”
“Sweet girl.” He said with a soft laugh. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. I love writing songs about you. You’re my favorite person.”
There was something so personal and deep about it that just made her feel very special. The worrying thoughts she had minutes ago were now gone, and in their place were these intense emotions. How could anyone care so much about her that they want to write songs about her? She thought she wasn’t worth the time, and wasn't worth all the trouble. The fact that Harry put time and effort into this song, and the others he’s mentioned, just meant the world to her.
Ivy closed the journal and sat it down next to the bowl of fruit. Harry was about to ask her if she was alright when she grabbed either side of his face and pulled him in for a kiss. He groaned softly against her mouth as his hands easily found her waist. She moved to her knees, tilting his head back as she deepened their kiss. She wanted to push him back and climb on top of him, but the reality of where they were was still on her mind. She could kiss him, but nothing more. And she kissed him like she’d never get the chance to do it again..
Their park date ended on a good note. After they kissed for a good chunk of time, they finished the fruit and some of the other snacks before packing up the bag and deciding to go for a walk. They strolled hand in hand, with Ivy doing most of the leading. She’d tug him in whatever direction she went. When they approached the small pond area, there were ducks and other birds around that caught her attention. Of course, Harry let her pull him wherever she wanted to go. They enjoyed their time, and eventually decided they were hungry for actual meals and not just snacks. They picked up a quick order and took it back to Harry’s place.
They put on a movie that they somewhat paid attention to while they ate on the couch, side by side of course. Once they were finished, Ivy practically begged Harry to be the one to clean up the mess they made. He didn’t want her to do any work, but she wasn’t going to stop asking. So, after she cleaned up the trash and adjusted everything back to normal, Harry insisted they go upstairs to his room and relax on the bed for a while. She was up for it, especially since the sun had drained her energy earlier at the park.
“Harry.” Her voice was gentle as she called from him from her spot on the side of the bed.
He tossed the shirt he had worn all day on the ground before turning to face her. “Yeah?”
Ivy was sitting with her legs crossed going through her overnight bag. She sucked on the inside of her cheek as she picked through the items she packed. What was she thinking when she threw all these clothes together? She seemed to forget a pair of pajamas that would be appropriate to wear. A huff pushed past her lips as she dropped the items she had in her hands and shifted her eyes to him.
“Something wrong?” He asked as his brows furrowed.
Harry abandoned his own task of changing clothes and walked over to her. She watched him the entire time, her stomach churning quicker with each step he took. He glanced down at her bag, not sure what she seemed to be worried about.
“I forgot to pack some pajamas.” She said with a soft sigh, her eyes moving back down to the clothes that were once neatly folded in her bag. “Well, I accidentally packed one of my night gowns.”
“If you don’t want to wear it, you can put on one of my shirts.” He felt a bit of relief knowing that it wasn’t something serious. “And a pair of my shorts. Might be a bit big on you.”
She smiled and nodded, her eyes glued to his back as he walked over to his dresser to find a pair of gym shorts to slide on. Ivy thought about the offer he made her. While it was tempting to agree to, her mind kept drifting to the idea of wearing the night gown. It wasn’t anything too revealing, but the satin fabric with lace trim was very comfortable to sleep in. The neckline was low, but her cleavage would be contained. The longer she sat there and thought about it, the more her inner voice was screaming at her.
Harry silently walked out of his room to go double check that the door was locked downstairs and the lights were off. Niall would be staying with Emma tonight, so it would just be the two of them in the house. Ivy suddenly remembered a conversation she had with Emma earlier in the week. She was encouraging Ivy to be more open and flirtatious with Harry, and not just verbally. As much as she liked to believe she knew what to do, she always ended up listening to Emma’s advice when it came to Harry. She wondered if he would like the way the fabric looked on her, if he’d like how it loosely fit her body but showed enough of her frame to make it alluring.
She picked through the clothes until she found it again. The entire time Harry was gone, she held it in her hands and just stared at it. There was a heavy internal debate about what she should do. With each passing minute, the cons became less important. If she put this piece of clothing on and Harry liked it, then that would make things better. She knew that if he never saw it, he’d still be pleased with cuddling up to her tonight. The possibilities of what could happen if she did put it on were circling her mind.
The sound of the door shutting pulled her out of her trance. She gulped quietly as she looked up and caught Harry’s eyes. He looked so good standing there with his tattoos on display for her, his skin exposed, and his hair was a wreck. Her lips turned upward as he flashed her a smile before going to his nightstand to pick up his phone.
“Did you want a shirt, babe?” He asked as he put his phone on the charger.
“Um, I have a question.”
He walked over to where he left his clothes on the floor to grab them and toss them in the hamper. “What is it?”
Of course, the moment he said that, her confidence seemed to drain from her body. She held her breath as she stared down at the pretty soft blue fabric pooled in her hands. She wore these often at home, especially after long days when she wanted to be completely relaxed in bed. Their outing at the park really exhausted her, the sun beat down on them all day. It would feel incredible to fall asleep in this comfortable night gown.
“Do you care if.. if I wear the night gown?” The softness of her voice made his heart sink.
He ignored the mundane tasks he was going to do before getting in the bed and decided to walk over to her. This time, he reached out for her body and gently placed his hand on her back.
“You can wear whatever you want, baby. I don’t care either way.” He kept his voice calm and slow.
Ivy licked her lips and looked up at him, a slight sadness in her eyes. “I just don’t want to.. like, offend you.”
“Offend me?” Harry was confused.
“By not wearing shorts or pants like I always do.”
For a second, he thought she was kidding, but the look on her face was enough to tell him she was serious. He shook his head lightly and rubbed his hand across her back. Over the past few weeks of being with her, Harry had noticed how confident and brave she became with him. With each day, she was more courageous to say something or do something with him. He never wanted that to end, never wanted her to think that he didn’t want her to do something she clearly wanted to do. He could just tell by the way she was handling the item that she wanted to put it on.
“Trust me, Ivy, that would never offend me.” He combed her hair out of her face, bringing it past her shoulder. “As long as you’re comfortable, you can wear whatever you want.”
Her features relaxed as a sense of approval washed through her. Maybe he did want to see her in something different, something more feminine and revealing. She went to stand up, a smile on her lips as Harry backed up to give her some space.
“Okay.” She grinned, clearly pleased with his response.
“Want me to step out?” He nodded his head towards the door.
“Just turn around.”
Their usual arrangement was just Harry turning away so she could change. She didn’t necessarily turn the opposite way whenever he changed, but it was somewhat different. He knew that she had a harder time with the idea of him seeing her than he did with her. It didn’t bother him, but it was a challenge for her. Little by little, though, she was gaining confidence.
He held in a chuckle as he heard her moving behind him. She was tossing her clothes in her bag, trying to shove everything back in. He wondered what exactly he’d see when she allowed him to turn around. He had noticed the color of the item, but he was unsure of what it looked like. After a few minutes of trying to adjust it on her body and fooling with her hair, she told him she was done.
“It’s not too grandma, is it?” She asked, looking down at herself as he rotated to face her.
A nervous lump began to grow in his throat as he trailed his eyes down her body, then back up slowly - admiring every inch of her. The color of the fabric was so soft and pretty against her skin. The fit was flattering, without being too tight or scandalous. He could tell this wasn’t meant to be intimate lingerie, but more of a relaxing gown to slip into bed with. She looked perfect.
“You look beautiful, like an angel.”
A layer of blush covered her cheeks as she toyed with the trim. “I guess since I wore one the other night I just grabbed one without thinking.”
It was obvious that she was trying to avoid the intense gaze he was giving her. He thought she looked precious, like the fragile girl he knew she was. He carefully grabbed her waist, dragging her body into his. Her head fell back, those pretty eyes found his instantly.
“I like it. You should wear them more for me.”
Her insides began to knot up at his words, he had a way of saying things that would drive her mad. She tried to play it off with an eye roll and a smile, but he was aware of the effect he had on her. Ivy’s eyes fell down to his abdomen, then they went straight to the waistband of his shorts. Sometimes her mind would drift off so far that she didn’t realize what she was doing. Like now, for instance, as her fingers rubbed over the waistband, hooking around it to get a grip.
“Want me to take ‘em off?” Harry asked in a low voice.
She flicked her eyes up, realizing what she was doing but it was too late to pull away. How was he so good at reading her mind, at her understanding her thoughts without her having to say a word? It made her nervousness fade. He understood her in a way she could never comprehend, and that was comforting.
“If you.. want to.” She shrugged lightly, trying not to make it a big deal.
“I will, if you want me to.”
All she could do was nod her head lightly and peer up at him with her sparkling eyes. Harry smirked, glad that she was being honest with what she wanted from him. He squeezed her body, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. Before he pulled away, he started to talk.
“Get comfortable in bed.”
A grunt left her mouth. “Are you coming, too?”
He chuckled, kissing her skin again. “Of course, baby.”
She did as he insisted, only after giving him a quick hug. He let her slip away and climb on the bed, after she tossed her bag on the floor with a gentle laugh. Harry watched as she got under the covers and claimed her spot, like always she chose the side he slept on when he was alone. He didn’t care either way, as long as she was content.
“So you like this?” She asked as he pulled the covers back.
“Yeah, I do.”
Ivy felt her heart start to race as he laid down next to her. “It’s cute, right?”
“It’s more than cute, darling. Why are you so worried about it?” Harry chuckled softly as he reached for her underneath the cover.
“More than cute?” There was a lot of innocence laced in her words.
He gripped her hip as his other arm went under her body. “It’s very hot.. You look incredible.”
She took a few seconds to get comfortable in his hold, it didn’t take long since it was so easy to do. He was letting her do whatever she wanted, move his hands wherever she wanted them. Her fingers grabbed his elbow, but she didn’t shift his arm, she just wanted to touch him for a moment.
“Goodnight, Harry.” She placed a kiss to his chin, then one to his lips that made him smile.
“Goodnight, love.” He returned the kiss.
“I had fun today.”
“Mmm, me, too.” He added another kiss to her cheek, making her giggle and hide her face in the crook of his neck. “Get some sleep, baby.”
Harry figured that since she told him goodnight, she was ready to fall asleep. So, he closed his eyes and let his own body relax. He felt his absolute best whenever he was holding her. He wished that he could spend more nights with her during the week, but they have only been sticking to weekends. Waking up next to her every morning would be like heaven.
It didn’t take him very long to fall asleep, but Ivy, on the other hand, was having a hard time. She wasn’t sure why she was suddenly wide awake and unable to shut off her mind. There were thoughts spinning in her head that were keeping her awake, but there weren’t any specific worries sticking out. She was confused. She was so tired when she made it up to the bedroom, now she’s laying in the dark with her eyes open.
Harry’s gentle snoring filled the room, his occasional grunts and sniffs too. His hand held onto her tightly, while the other was relaxed on the mattress behind her. His arm was stuck under her pillow. She was sure she’d pass out as soon as she got in the bed, but yet here she was awake. A frustrated huff left her mouth as she tried to force herself to go to sleep, but her eyes wouldn’t stay shut. She kept popping them open as thoughts appeared in her mind.
Although she was physically comfortable and she knew Harry was, too, she wanted to grab her phone to see how long she had been laying there. Harry was always quick to fall asleep, so her track of time might not be accurate. She wiggled out of his grip and moved to grab her phone off the nightstand. She squinted her eyes as the bright screen lit up the room. If she remembered correctly what time they laid down, then they had only been in the bed for a little over half an hour.
She returned to her spot next to him and placed his hand back on her body. He gripped her immediately, almost like it was an instinct to hold her. She brought her phone up to her face, hoping to distract herself for a while or maybe find something to do that would bore her to sleep. Once the volume was cut down to a level that wouldn’t disturb Harry, she started to scroll on different apps and open random games she had installed.
None of her efforts seemed to be enough, though. She spent fifteen minutes doing random things, trying her best to make her mind go blank so she could fall asleep. It was becoming more of a frustration than she imagined it would be. After a couple of more minutes, she decided that it wasn’t going to work.
“Harry.” She tried to speak loud enough for him to hear her, without scaring him awake. Ivy grabbed onto his bicep and shook his arm. “Harry.”
Since he hadn’t been asleep that long, it was easy to wake him up. He grunted a few times, furrowing his brows as she repeated his name a few more times. A yawn took over him as he opened his eyes, the light from her phone was shining bright in the room.
“What’s wrong?” He slurred out, his eyes closing to shield himself from the light.
Ivy took in a deep breath. “I can’t sleep.”
“Something on your mind?” He moved his hand up to her waist, settling his touch on one of his favorite spots of her body. It was just nice to hold her there, feel her warmth and the softness of her body.
“No, I don’t think so. Nothing specific.”
Harry cleared his throat. “If there’s anything you want to talk about, just let me know. I can stay awake and keep you company.
“I don’t want to bother you.”
“You won’t.” He tightened his hold on her, smiling when she gave him a gentle whimper.
Ivy wasn’t necessarily afraid to say anything, she just didn’t have anything on her mind. She started to think about different things that have been on her mind lately, perhaps something could become a topic they discuss. Harry stayed quiet as he waited for her to say something. His eyes were closed but he was listening to her slow, deep breathing. For a minute, he thought maybe she would just fall asleep, but she didn’t.
“Anything is fine?” She asked in a gentle voice, as if she was scared to speak any louder.
“Yeah, anything.” He peeled his eyes open, noticing that she laid her phone higher on the pillow to light up the space they shared.
“Well, you know I.. I like to know things about you.” She started nervously, her chest starting to feel tight and heavy.
“Yeah.”
Ivy swallowed, trying her best to stay brave. She shifted her eyes to his, glad that the phone light was there so she could see him. He looked so adorable with his sleepy eyes and soft smile. She felt bad for waking him up, yet grateful that he was willing to stay up with her.
“When’s the.. last time you, um, did something with someone? I want you to be honest, please.”
As the words came from her mouth, she felt her stomach drop. Did she really just ask him that? She wanted to sink under the covers and hide her face from him, but she refrained. Her eyes were locked with his, and she could tell he was surprised by her question.
Harry shifted his body lightly, adjusting his arm under her. “You mean.. sexually?”
“Yeah.”
“And you want me to be honest?” He squeezed her waist, his eyes glued to her.
“Yes, the answer won’t bother me. I just want to know.”
He wanted to ask her why she wanted to know, but he didn’t. Maybe it went farther than just curiosity. Maybe she wanted to know for a specific reason that she wasn’t going to tell him. He opted to just be honest with her like she asked.
“Well, you know the day we first met or, well I first saw you.. it was that weekend.” He said through a sigh, not sure what to expect next.
She had this waiting look on her face, as if she was ready for the details. He nervously laughed and looked away from her for just a moment.
“Do you want the entire story?” He lifted his brows, still uncertain.
“If.. if you want to tell me.”
He nodded lightly and decided he’d continue to be honest with her. “I was hooking up with this girl. She had brown hair and I only remember that because I kept thinking about a blonde girl.. a blonde girl with the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen.”
Ivy felt her face heat up as she realized he was referring to her. He pecked her forehead, wanting to give her some affection.
“It was hard to do what I was trying to do. I kept picturing you.. kept thinking about you. Just thought you were so gorgeous.” He paused to take a deep breath. “After that night, I haven’t done anything. I attempted a few times, but you seemed to prevent that for me. Which is fine.”
Ivy didn’t say anything at first, she just laid there with her eyes stuck on his. He didn’t know what else to say, so he stayed quiet, too. After a long minute of just looking at him, she finally spoke.
“I guess I got in the way a few times.” She smiled as she recalled how she ran to him that night with tears in her eyes and terror rushing through her - he disregarded the woman he had been entertaining and chose her instead.
He let out a light laugh. “I didn’t mind it at all.. just had me doing it myself to the thought of you instead of doing it with someone else.”
Despite wanting to improve how open she was with him, that comment made her heart nervously flutter. To hear him say that he pleased himself while thinking about her was enough to send her insides into a frenzy. Sometimes he truly didn’t understand the full scope of what he did to her.
“Is there a specific reason why you wanted to know?” He asked in a low voice, his intentions were to keep her calm. It was easy to see how flustered she got.
“Not really. I just.. thought about it the other day.”
He was curious to know what other thoughts lingered in her mind, what kinds of things kept her up at night just like right now. Her hand moved to touch his chest, the warmth of his skin made her relax. There wasn’t any embarrassment she felt, it was mostly just nerves. She had no issue talking about this stuff with him, but it did feel a little scary to approach.
“You.. you know I.. I really want to do it, right?” Ivy started to talk before she even decided if that's what she wanted to say. She squeezed her eyes shut and pushed her face into his neck.
“I know, babe.” He placed a soft kiss to her hairline, amused by her shy behavior.
“Do you think it will hurt me.. since it’s been so long?”
Once again, he was surprised by her sudden question. He licked his lips and thought about how to answer it. He really didn’t know what to tell her. It really all depended on how her body reacted to him. He wasn’t sure he could predict it.
“Well, I’m not sure. Do you.. ever use anything?”
Ivy leaned her head back to get a view of him. “You mean like.. my fingers?”
He smiled gently. “Or a toy.. something that you put in.”
She quickly contemplated what to tell him. If she wanted to be honest and open with him, then obviously the truth was what she needed to choose. What if he thought it was weird? Exploring one’s body is normal and perfectly healthy, so why was she all of a sudden debating if it would make her seem odd? She took a deep breath and shifted her gaze to his soft stare.
“Sometimes, yeah. A.. a toy.”
He nodded slowly, listening to every word she was saying. He didn’t want her to think he didn’t care or that he wasn’t taking this seriously. She asked him a geninune question, and she deserved his full attention.
“Do you take all of it?”
She shook her head. “Just.. maybe an inch.”
“Does that hurt?”
Ivy felt a lump forming in her throat, but she pushed it down and stayed strong. “No.”
“I think you’ll be fine then.. if you’re somewhat used to something being there.”
Harry’s answer was acceptable, but she just wasn’t sure if it was enough to change her mind. She lowered her hand to his abdomen, absentmindedly circling her index finger across his skin as she settled on a spot.
“What if it’s not enough to help?”
He took a slow breath, thinking of how he could answer her question. He didn’t want to frighten her. He truly didn’t know what to say. They wouldn’t know how something would go until they did it, and there really isn’t anything he can assure her of.
“How big is it?”
Her eyes tore from his as she felt a heavy heat building on ehr cheeks yet again. “I dunno.. it’s not that big.”
He chuckled gently, knowing that his question was a little too much for her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, trying to calm her back down. She wouldn’t look back at him, she wasn’t ready for that.
“How about this.. whenever you feel like you’re comfortable with the idea of us trying.. you use it a few nights leading up to when you want to tell me you’re ready. Just take a bit of it, that way you’ll be a little more used to the feeling.”
The suggestion he offered didn’t sound so bad. Ivy gave him a nod, understanding what he wanted her to do. Without saying anything, she placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’. Her precious response made him smile and tighten his hold on her waist. He wanted to pull her as close as possible and melt into her body.
“And if that doesn’t help, then don’t worry.” Harry reached up to grab her jaw, tilting her head back so he could see her pretty eyes. “I’ll take care of you when the time comes, I promise.”
Her fingers curled around his wrist, pushing his palm harder against her skin. “I wish I was ready now.”
He lifted his mouth to a smile as she pouted, clearly irritated with herself. “Don’t worry about it, babe.”
A soft breath passed her lips. “Take care of me, hm?”
“Of course.” His lips molded to hers for just a moment. “Make you feel so good.”
She shied away, turning her head so his lips landed on her cheek instead. He chuckled as he felt how warm she was. There was a sensation occurring in her gut that she knew all too well. If she were alone, she’d slide her hand into her panties and think about him as she got herself off. But right now, while laying next to him, she was frozen solid.
“It’s okay to talk about all this. Don’t be shy.”
She nervously laughed. “I’m not trying to be.”
Harry squeezed her waist and tried to nudge her head back, but she wouldn’t let him. “It’s just me, baby. Just you and me. We can talk about anything. I don’t want you to ever feel shy.”
“I know.” She mumbled back, wishing she could be as confident as he was.
He paused for a moment, his eyes closed as his lips softly brushed her skin. He was considering different ways to approach this. Did he want to tease her or did he want to calm her down? Was it enjoyable for her or was she really uncomfortable? He decided to just let it go.
“I’ll stop, darling.” He pecked her cheek.
“M’fine, Harry.” She finally turned her head back to look at him. “Well, I should be.”
“What do you mean?”
As much as he wanted to get the answer and figure out why she became so shy with him, he didn’t want to seem like he was prying or trying to force it out of her. If anything, his intentions were purely to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Ivy’s brows dropped as she felt herself becoming agitated by her own actions.
“I just told you I had a sex toy and now I can’t even handle you looking at me. What’s wrong with me?” Her eyes shot to his and he gave her a soft smile.
“You’re nervous.” Harry stated as he kept his stare on her. “I make you nervous.. I always have.”
She grunted back, her eyes shifting to look at the dimple indented in his cheek. “I guess you always will.”
“We can work on it, babe. The more we talk, the easier it’ll be for you.” He assured her, leaving a kiss on her lips that made her want more. “Remember, you can tell me anything or ask me anything.”
Ivy wanted to grab him by his face and pull his mouth back onto hers, but she was too afraid to do that. Instead, she opted to distract herself as Harry watched her. He always wanted to be patient with her and never make her think she had to spill her guts out to him every time she was upset. If she didn’t want to say another word to him tonight, then he’d be fine with that. She wasn’t sure how to respond, so she just let her mind wander. She was staring at his neck as her fingertip slowly circled his navel. He was intrigued by her soft touch, curious to know if she wanted to do more. He’d allow her to claw him to pieces if it meant she was satisfied.
“Let me see your beautiful face, yeah?” He said quietly as his hand moved to touch her jaw.
She relaxed in his hold and let him move her head, angling it so he could see her. He licked his lips and gave her lips a tap with his thumb. Ivy grabbed his forearm and dug her nails into his skin, her eyes looking at him through her thick lashes. There was something special she did with him that she hadn’t done in a while. It wasn’t a common thing, but she’s done it a handful of times. He wanted her to do it now, but he didn’t want to pressure her by asking. Thankfully, she wanted it just as much.
When he placed his thumb on the corner of her mouth, she parted her lips and poked her tongue out, touching his skin. His smile shaped to a smirk as he slid his thumb across her thick bottom lip, the softness of her skin was like butter.
“Take my thumb.” His deep voice rattled through her, shaking her bones and vibrating her nerves.
She gave him the most innocent smile before closing her lips around his thumb. He stuck it in further, swallowing hard as she gave it a gentle suck. He was in disbelief as he watched her, it was like a surreal moment he never wanted to let go. Ivy closed her eyes for a moment, playfully biting down on his thumb.
“My kitten, hm?” He lifted his brow slightly.
Her eyes opened, blush blazing on her cheeks like wildfire. She didn’t try to say anything, just gave him a starry eyed look and switched back to using her tongue. He couldn’t help but to imagine the swirling sensations on other parts of his body. He let out a light groan as she moved her hand onto his waist, gripping him tight in a similiar way that he did to her whenever he grabs her there. He wanted her hand to be stuck to his body forever, never let him go.
“You’re not as shy as you believe you are, darling.” He teased, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “Think you just need to be warmed up.”
She fluttered her lashes before closing her eyes again. She began to imagine different things playing out. She thought about how it would feel to have his hands touch places he’d never explored without a layer of clothes between them. Would he be gentle with her or would he make it pleasurable torture? He was very good with his words, so he must be good with his actions. Sometimes, she found herself getting very jealous and angry when she thought about his past experiences. To know that other people had a chance to touch him before her was fuel to her greedy nature. She was never a possessive person before she met Harry. Now, he’s all she wanted.
“Try something for me, okay?” He said slowly, his eyes fixed on her face. She didn’t say anything, just nodded back. “Think about what you want.. Think about what you need.”
She was unsure at first what he was referring to, but she hoped it was what she thought. He was going to be more specific, but he wanted to slowly lean into it at first, tease her a little to make it more enjoyable. Ivy has shown him on multiple occasions that she wanted to have sex with him, but she just can’t get the confidence that’s needed for it. It was his goal to build that for her, to help as much as he could.
“Think about what you want me to do. Where you want me to touch you.. kiss you.. feel you.”
She tightened her lips around his thumb as she recalled all the times she day dreamt about him and pictured him doing things to her when she would touch herself. It was easy to bring those thoughts to the front of her mind because they often took over when she least expected it.
“I always think about your perfect lips.. think about you using them to mark me up.” His comment made her mouth twitch to a quick smile. “Bet they’d feel so good covering my skin, hm? That pretty tongue licking me. Your teeth biting down on me.”
She let out a soft noise that made his smirk grow, he could tell it was working. He wasn’t trying to coax her into anything. This was simply a way to make her more open to them talking this way, to being more intimate.
“Will you tell me what’s on your mind?” He asked through a soft sigh, pulling his thumb out of her mouth.
She whined at first, not wanting to let him go. But when he rested it on the corner of her mouth, she figured he’d be willing to give it back to her. Ivy kept her eyes shut as she pondered what to do. Should she do what he asked and be honest with him, or should she shy away and just avoid it again? She didn’t want to do that, though. She wanted to tell him very little thing she’s ever imagined about what it’ll be like sharing that experience with him.
“I wanna.. feel your mouth all over me.” She breathed out, finally admitting what was on her mind. “Wanna know.. how it feels to be kissed everywhere.”
He slowly rubbed his thumb over her skin, his eyes still locked on her. “Everywhere, hm? I can’t wait to kiss you everywhere. Down your neck.. all over your chest, your tummy.. make my way down your thighs all the way to your toes.”
Her breathing became heavier as his list went on, and he could easily tell she was experiencing intense feelings. It was going well, just as he had hoped, so he kept on.
“And of course.. between your legs. Do a bit more than kissing down there, though, hm.”
Ivy sunk her nails further into his side, making him bite down on his cheek. He knew he was saying the right things and easing her into it. While he seemed to be calm and relaxed during this, she was losing control inside of her body. Her mind was dizzy and her stomach was tight with knots and twists. His words were going straight to her core, making her tingle all over.
“Tell me more.”
She nodded lightly, trying to determine what she wanted to reveal and what needed to be kept to herself. Harry was so naturally confident in himself that sometimes it made her feel bad that she wasn’t that way. Things would most likely be a lot easier if she had some courage. Right now, she was trying her best to channel that confidence hidden inside of her.
“I.. I, um.” She paused.
Harry felt a pinch in his chest as he saw her brows furrow. She wasn’t happy with her inability to reply to him. She wanted to tell him so much more, make him see that she was brave and confident - but that didn’t happen.
“It’s alright, Ivy.” He whispered as his lips planted a few soft pecks on her forehead, trying to give her some encouragement. “You don’t have to, baby.”
Her eyes opened and instantly found his. He gave her an apologetic smile, thinking that maybe that was too far. He should take it slower with her so that he didn’t frighten her.
“Can.. can we kiss?” She asked suddenly, not caring or addressing the fact she didn’t answer him. Right now, she just wanted one thing.
He let a smile cover his mouth. “You don’t have to ask, babe.”
He chuckled as she grabbed his face and pulled herself to his mouth. He let her have her way like always, and she gladly took control. Her tongue shoved into his mouth quicker than ever before. There were no soft kisses leading them into the session. She knew what she wanted, and she demanded to get it now. He reattached his hand to her waist to keep her against him, her boobs pressed hard against his chest as she practically molded her body with his. He never wanted her to move.
Harry was willing to go as far as she wanted to go, so he paid attention to her body language. He was surprised by how low her hand trailed down his body. She normally didn’t mess with the waistband of his underwear, but right now she was slightly slipping her fingers beneath it. He didn’t want to overthink the action, so he stayed focused on her lips instead. She was swallowing him whole by this point, lapping up every inch of him.
A soft moan slipped out of her mouth as his hand moved down to her hip. He wanted to slide it to her ass, but he stopped himself. If he did something she didn’t want, then he’d be upset with himself and feel terrible. He didn’t have time to think about it, though, because Ivy grabbed his nape and pushed herself even further against him. He didn’t think it was even possible to be any closer. She felt his knee nudging into hers, and for some reason she parted her legs. It felt natural to do that, to let his leg slip between hers. He didn’t push it far, just enough to make their bodies even closer than they already were.
Their kissing was quickly becoming sloppy and messy, just like it always ended up being. Spit was pooling in their mouths and dripping out the corners, smearing on each other’s skin. The sounds of lips smacking and tongues fighting filled the air. Harry grunted as her hand returned to his face. He didn’t quite know what to expect, but after another minute of kissing, she finally pulled back. He huffed as her lips tore from his, her tongue slipping back into her own mouth. He tried to reach for her again, but she let out a gentle hum and dodged his lips.
“We don’t have to stop, baby.” He said through a slurred mumble. “I’ll kiss you forever.”
She gave him a sweet smile and licked her lips, tasting what he left behind. “I have to stop, Harry.”
“You don’t have to.” He frowned, not sure why she chose to do that.
“M’feeling.. um.. a certain kind of way.” She said through a breathy laugh, embarrassment creeping in.
He was somewhat surprised to hear her admit that to him. He figured she was probably growing a pool in her panties, especially since he was no longer soft in his own underwear. Whenever they get caught up in a kissing session, they both get extremely heated.
“Tell me.”
“I.. can’t.” She shook her head, that was too much to say out loud.
He let out a rumbling sound before pushing his lips onto the corner of her mouth. “Don’t be shy, tell me what you need, kitten.”
“Harry.” She whimpered his name, almost in desperation.
“Shh, it’s alright.” He curved his hand to fit against her body. “Tell me.”
A heaviness seemed to lift from her chest as he softly kissed her chin, being so gentle with her that it was melting her worry. She licked her lips and hesitantly moved her eyes to his. He was relaxed like always, his eyelids halfway open as he waited patiently for her. He knew this could all end here, and he was okay with that, but he hoped she would push herself further.
“I need.. to.. touch.” She finally muttered out, her eyes pouring into his - trying her best to send him signals and messages without using any more words.
He lifted his lips. “Where do you need to touch?”
She knew he was well aware of what she was hinting at, but it was all part of his plan to make her more comfortable. If she’s willing to tell him exactly what she means, then she will be more confident in future situations. She tried to remind herself to stay calm and just talk to him - she kept repeating it over and over and in her mind.
“Down there.” She whispered back, keeping her word choices very pure and innocent.
“You can touch yourself if you need to.” He told her with a soft smile.
A fire hot layer of blush rose over every inch of her body. She shook her head and tore her eyes from his. He squeezed her, trying to get her attention back.
“I can’t do that right now.”
Harry noticed his leg was still stuck between hers, the middle of his thigh closer to her warmest spot than he realized. He took in a slow breath as he thought about something. Perhaps it would scare the hell out of her, or maybe it would be the thing that made her feel better. She was so shy, despite trying so hard and wanting to be confident. He took the chance.
“You wanna use my leg, babe? Make yourself feel good on me?”
As the words rolled from his lips, her eyes widened and she knitted her brows. “What?”
He chuckled, thinking she was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. “Rub yourself on my leg.. Don’t have to take your panties off or use your hand.”
His explanation still wasn’t enough to tame her chaotic thoughts. Did he really just insist that she grind on his thigh until she came? Her heart was pumping quick as she debated it. Could it be a bad idea? If he suggested it, then obviously he didn’t have a problem with it. She closed her eyes for a long moment and thought about the previous times she’s wanted to do something intimate with him. She remembered that first night they laid together after they kissed, how she couldn’t hide the hardness of her nipples. She thought about the first time he pulled her on his lap downstairs, and at the club - he was growing beneath her, clearly feeling sensations just as intense as her own. All of the sneaky kisses, the dirty words, the teasing comments.. She wanted this.
“Please, Harry.. just a little.” She popped her eyes open, taking him somewhat by surprise.
“You can do whatever you need to, baby.” He nodded slowly.
He didn’t expect her to go along with his idea, so he was genuinely excited. Ivy kissed him for a minute, just swapping spit and soft moans to thank him for the suggestion. When she broke away, he gripped her hip and pushed his thigh further up, bumping into her hard enough to make her whine. The feeling was more intense than she thought it would be.
“Do whatever feels good.” He mumbled as she tried to adjust her position.
“Is it okay if I lift this some?” She asked in her quietest, sweetest voice while grabbing the hem of her night gown.
“Of course, baby. Make yourself comfortable.”
Ivy pushed out a breath. “Can.. can you turn on the lamp so I can see you?”
“Wanna look at me while you get off on my leg, hm?” His smirk grew.
“Harry.” She couldn’t hold in her giggle. He knew exactly what to say to make her lose her mind.
“Like I said, doll, whatever you want.”
He quickly leaned back to reach for the lamp. Once the light flashed on and lit up the room, he returned to his previous spot and helped her get readjusted on his thigh. She pulled up her nightgown, not revealing too much, but just enough so it wouldn’t restrict her in any way. Although she was comfortable with doing this, she was unsure about him seeing her, so she pulled the covers up. Harry didn’t question it, he was okay with whatever decision she made.
“I hope this works.” She whispered out, nervously flicking her eyes to his.
“I’m sure it will.” He gave her a quick wink.
At first, she was waiting for instructions before she realized that he was letting her lead. Ivy was somewhat anxious about doing this, but as she started to slowly move her hips back and forth, she could feel her nerves loosen up. She let out a breathy moan as she pushed harder against his leg. Harry kept his eyes on her face as she rutted on him. She was making the hottest, most beautiful expressions he’d ever seen.
As she sped her movements up, soft moans and quiet sounds filled the space between them. She was about a minute in, her hips moving like it was natural for her to be doing this. Harry admired her noises and quick glances. She didn’t want to stare at him, so she tried to keep her eyes on his collarbone. She loved touching him there, it was one of her favorite spots to kiss on while they cuddled.
He couldn’t believe this moment was real, that she was rubbing herself into his thigh. Not only was it incredibly hot, but it showed him that he was doing something right. She was comfortable enough to do this, to give this part of herself to him. Sure, it wasn’t sex and they were both covered in fabric, but it meant a lot to her - and he knew that.
Ivy was thanking herself for choosing a thin pair of underwear to put on tonight, it made the friction of his skin feel much nicer. The thin material also made this more enjoyable for Harry. He could feel the wetness between her legs and the shape of her womanhood. Even without seeing or touching it with his hands, he knew it was perfect and stunning. As her body reacted more and more to the pressure, he couldn’t resist holding back. He was going to let her do her thing, but he wanted to tease her now.
“Mm, you’re soaked, hm?” He tightened his grip on her hip, gently assisting in her movement.
“Harry.” She whimpered his name, her eyes finding his.
He licked his lips, in utter awe that he was witnessing this. “Look at you, yeah. Rubbing your pussy on me.. making yourself feel good, huh?”
“Yes, Harry. Oh.” Ivy grabbed his forearm and immediately anchored her nails in his skin.
Her slow motions quickly turned fast and sharp, her goal had changed from wanting to feel every second of it to wanting to come undone. Harry guided her hips, his strength added to her speed. Her eyes rolled back slightly as a jolt shot through her. The quick snaps of her hips caused so much friction to her clit, she thought she’d explode.
“Feels so good, yeah?” Harry’s deep voice made her stomach drop.
“You feel so good.” She mumbled through a moan, a string of quick breaths following.
He watched her closely, trying his best to calculate how far she had to go. It wouldn’t be too much longer. Ivy closed her eyes again as she grinded herself on his thigh, sliding her covered pussy against his skin and ramming her clit on him. She never dreamed this would happen, never thought this could be so good. She’s imagined a lot of different sexual scenarios with Harry, but never this. When her eyes opened just to roll back in her head, he knew she was close.
“Gonna cum for me, kitten? Soak your panties for me, yeah?” Harry’s filthy words made her heart flutter.
They were fuel to her fire. Within a second, her stomach began to knot up as her hips rolled into him. A wave of euphoria flooded her body as she felt herself slipping over the edge.
“Harry, fuck.” She barely got the words out before she came, her head tilting back as a moan left her mouth.
“There you go.. all over me, baby.” Harry had a proud smirk on his mouth as he watched her face contort and react to her orgasm.
It was a glorious sight. Her lips were swollen from her biting down on them, her cheeks flushed and warm. She was trying to catch her breath as she recovered. Her grip on his arm eased up and she let her hand fall between them. She felt exhausted. None of her previous sessions had ever made her feel that good, not even the intense ones when she’d say his name aloud. No matter how engrossed she became with the thought of him, none of those times could compare with this. Her clit was throbbing beneath her panties. She’d never had an orgasm that good before.
“Oh my god, Harry.” She finally breathed out after a long few moments of trying to come back to her senses.
“Fuck, that was so hot. Feel better, yeah?” He reached up to sweep her hair out of her face, all of her moving around had made a mess of it.
“Yeah, I can’t believe I just did that.” She grabbed his wrist to guide his hand to her cheek.
He gladly touched her hot skin, smiling as she tried to hide her face in his palm. “I can’t believe it either, to be honest.”
Her voice was light as she was still trying to cope with everything. “Have you done that with someone before?”
“No, never. But I’d love for you to do it again sometime.”
His cheeky smile made her playfully roll her eyes and press a kiss to his hand. She was glad to know she had something special with him that nobody else had experienced. Her mind was still fuzzy from all the pleasure that soaked through her body. It was hard to convince herself that what she did was actually real. Harry wanted to ask her if something was on her mind, but he stayed quiet. It was obvious by her behavior that she was still trying to calm her body down.
After a few minutes, she spoke in a hushed tone. “I need to, um, change my panties.”
Harry let a smile cover his lips when her eyes moved to his. “Go ahead.”
It was at this moment that they both realized his leg hadn’t moved at all. He pulled his leg from between hers and chuckled as she sat up next to him, a sleepy look taking over her features. She leaned down to press a kiss to his lips before she climbed out of the bed. He watched her scurry over to her bag and rummage through it in search of a clean pair of underwear.
“Don’t take too long, kitten.” He called out just as she opened the door, her panties clutched tight in her hand.
She whipped her head around to glare at him, making him chuckle. She disappeared into the bathroom to change. As she grabbed the underwear from around her ankles, she couldn’t help but be curious about the mess she made. She looked at the fabric in her hands, shaking her head in disbelief as she saw the large wet spot that was soaked into the panties. She almost always kept her underwear on when she handled her needs, and she couldn’t recall a moment when they looked this wet. Harry had a way of doing things to her that was just unbelievable.
After cleaning herself up and changing her underwear, Ivy returned to the bedroom. She flicked off the lamp before crawling back in the bed, settling back in her spot next to him. Harry’s greedy hands grabbed onto her body and yanked her closer, his lips landing on her forehead as she melted into him.
“Thank you.” She whispered sweetly, her lips brushing his throat before she pecked his skin a few times.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby.” He reminded her, this was something he’s said more than once to her. “M’glad you were comfortable enough to do it.”
“It was very nice.” She smiled against his skin.
Harry had to get a quick kiss in before he told her goodnight. Of course, she let out a cute laugh and tried to dodge him, but he was too fast. They gave each other gentle kisses for a while, just soft pecks and light touches. They mumbled goodnight a few times each before finally ending with a long, tongue filled kiss. Harry was relieved to know that Ivy was now ready to fall asleep and no worrying thoughts seemed to be keeping her up.
—•—
The following week was very busy for both of them, so they were unable to catch any random lunch dates with each other like they easily did most of the time. Ivy was exhausted more than usual, so even their phone calls every night were cut short when she’d fall asleep. Harry knew she was handling a lot, and he never got irritated with her. He had a lot on his plate, as well, since he took on more lessons for the week than he normally did. They were both excited to be together when Friday came, although they wouldn’t be alone.
Niall insisted earlier in the week that everyone come together for a friend’s dinner since they all had been so busy lately. Ivy was all for it, while Harry was annoyed that he couldn’t just be alone with her instead. She promised him they could go back to her place and watch a movie after like they usually did - of course, the movie watching was always put on the back burner when the kissing and cuddling started.
They met at her place so Harry could drop his bag off before dinner. Ivy was contemplating her outfit in the mirror when Harry arrived. He greeted Emma, who told him Ivy was stressing out over her attire. He thought about not getting involved, but the longer he sat on the couch waiting for her, more guilt was building up in his gut. He headed to her room, excited to see her but nervous to know how she’s feeling. When he tapped his knuckles on the door, she assumed Emma was the one there so she rushed to pull open the door. As she saw Harry standing there instead, her eyes went wide and she threw her arms around his neck.
He laughed into her neck, rocking them slowly from side to side. “Hi, baby. I missed you.”
“I missed you!” She squealed back, letting her arms fall so she could see him. “I didn’t know you were here already.”
“Been here for a few minutes.” He shrugged, his eyes falling down to her body. “Emma said you were worrying over your outfit.”
She sighed heavily, her hands moving to cover his wrists as he held on to her waist. She wanted to run and hide from him, but she stayed brave and expressed her thoughts to him. Maybe he could help her figure out what looked the best.
“I just don’t know about this dress. Do you like it?” Ivy asked seriously, looking down at the fabric covering her body. “Be honest.”
“I do like it, yeah. It’s very pretty.” He stayed truthful like she wanted.
He thought the dress looked wonderful on her. It wasn’t too fancy, but it fit her well. The dark blue fabric was very flattening against her skin tone and with her hair. He wasn’t a fashion expert, but he believed she could make anything look perfect.
“It’s not too low in the front, is it?” She asked, glancing down at her cleavage.
He looked at her chest, lifting his brows lightly as he thought about what to say. It wasn’t low enough for it to be an issue if she bent over, he thought it was fine.
“You look perfect, I promise.”
It didn’t take a lot more convincing for her, surprisingly. Usually, her freaking out over her outfit has a lot to do with whether or not she thought Harry would like it. Having his direct, in person response and review of her outfit was enough to assure she was dressed well. Not only was the dress nice, but he thought her shoes and jewelry tied in well, and her makeup was light, yet complimentary to her features. Perfect.
When they got to the restaurant, Ivy was anxious because they were running a few minutes late. Emma and Niall left ten minutes before they did and were able to avoid the traffic. Harry kept telling her it was fine and that nobody would be upset with them, especially with her - they adored her. He guided her to the side of the restaurant Niall mentioned in his text, hand in hand of course. She had her other hand curled around his wrist as they walked.
Ivy usually didn’t pay anyone else any attention while she was with Harry, but something caught her eye as they made their way to the table. There was a girl who made an effort to turn her head to get a better look at Harry, and that was enough to make Ivy snarl and grip his hand tighter. He had no clue what had happened, he just assumed she was squeezing his hand.
Michelle gasped when they approached the table, still surprised that they were officially a couple and had been for weeks now. Ivy felt a layer of blush cover her cheeks and she laughed, trying to ignore the reaction. There were two open chairs left. Niall and Emma sat in front of them, while the others filled the other end of the table. Ivy was about to claim the spot across from Emma, but Harry gently tugged her back towards him. She furrowed her brows as she looked up and saw his expression. He didn’t seem too happy.
Although he knew she wanted to sit across from her best friend, he wasn’t going to let it happen tonight. Cory would be on the other side of her if she sat down, and Harry wasn’t going to deal with that mess tonight. He gestured for the other chair. Ivy glanced at Cory, realizing that Harry might actually be doing this for the sake of keeping his composure. She gave him a sweet smile before sitting down in the other chair. He sat next to Cory, passing a greeting to everyone before turning his attention to Ivy.
“Not risking it tonight.” He mumbled while leaning to her cheek to leave a kiss on her skin.
She shied away from him, not wanting to show too much affection in front of everyone. “Okay.”
He just smiled at her reaction. She could be the greediest person while they were alone, hands glued to his body and lips all over his face - yet, she could act like she had never been touched before when other people had their eyes on them. He thought it was cute.
Her attention moved to the menu. She had been to this place before, she was familiar with the options, but she needed to make a decision. Harry didn’t really care about the menu or anything else, he just kept his mind focused on Ivy. Everyone was keeping to themselves as they all looked at the menu, aside from Emma who was asking Niall what he was going to get. A waiter approached not long after and got everyone’s drink orders.
“Ivy, I feel like none of us have seen you in ages!” Michelle said once the waiter walked off.
“Ever since you love birds got together, we don’t see either of you.” Zayn added with a smile, glancing at Harry.
“Well, I’ve been keeping Harry busy. Niall says we go on too many dates.” She said with a laugh, nudging her knee against Harry’s.
He was listening, but not paying full attention. From the corner of his eye, Harry could see Cory trying to peer around him to get a glimpse of Ivy as she spoke. Despite everyone else also looking her way, he got the impression that Cory’s glare meant something more. Maybe it did, or maybe he was just overreacting. He clenched his fist beneath the table and tried his best to remain calm. Ivy wouldn’t want him to lash out right now.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re making him go and do things.” Niall sighed. “He’s too used to being home all the time.”
“I’d rather it be a good reason like so many dates than a bad reason that we don’t see you.” Michelle grinned.
Ivy shifted in her chair as she felt the need to go to the bathroom creep in on her. Harry furrowed his brows as he watched her hand cover her stomach. He started to worry about her ovarian cyst history. When she had that emergency surgery, that was the same area she pressed her hand against while he was staying at her house. Thankfully, it wasn’t that right now. It was actually just the need to empty her bladder that was bothering her.
“Are you okay?” He asked, his hand squeezing her thigh as he waited for her to answer.
“Yeah, I need to run to the restroom. Will you order for me if I’m not back?” She said with an exhale, tapping her finger on the meal she wanted.
Harry looked down at the menu and took a mental note of it. “Yeah, sure.”
“I’ll go with you!” Emma jumped up as she overheard the mention of the restroom, she needed to go as well.
The girls excused themselves and headed towards the restroom together. Harry kept his eyes on Ivy for as long as he could before she disappeared from his view.
Ivy rushed to handle her business so that she could get back to the table quickly. On the other hand, Emma was taking her time. She adjusted her clothes then her hair in the mirror once she came out of the stall. She cover her palm in soap as Ivy waited patiently next to her.
“I noticed Harry was a little annoyed when you guys walked up. Is everything okay?”
The sigh Ivy let out was harsher than she intended it to be. “Yeah he’s kinda upset that I agreed to come tonight, he wanted to do something alone.”
Emma cocked her brow, glancing over her shoulder at Ivy. “Something as in what?”
She shook her head. “Not like that. He just wanted to take me on a date.”
Emma pursed her lips for a moment. “I feel like I hardly get to see you. Even when you’re home, you’re on the phone. He enjoys taking you out, I assume?”
Ivy gulped quietly and thought about the best way to approach this. She knew that sometimes Harry could be a bit overbearing, but he did it out of admiration. He didn’t want to be a bad boyfriend. Taking her out for dinner, to the movies, for ice cream, whatever it is they chose to do - those things mean a lot to him. Ivy loved it all, too. She never once complained. From an outsider’s perspective, though, it may seem intense. They would spend every waking moment together if they could.
“He’s making up for a lot of.. bad times. Don’t be hard on him.”
“I’m not. I’m actually so proud of him.” Emma smiled, she was always one to be honest. “He should be worshipping the ground you walk on. He owes you that, at least.”
Ivy shrugged, not sure how to respond to that. It was no secret that Harry had done a lot of hurtful things to her in the past, that he had really done some damage. But she knew he was trying his hardest to fix everything, that he wouldn’t stop until he made it all up to her. Sometimes, when they cuddle or when they’re sitting in silence, he’ll tell her how sorry he is for treating her bad. Every time, she’ll assure him it’s alright now and that he’s doing things right now.
“He’s a sweetheart, trust me.” Ivy sighed out as she watched Emma rinse her hands under the water.
She was drying her hands off, about to reach for the door when Ivy decided to blurt something out.
“I have to tell you what I did last weekend.”
Emma turned to face her, a curious expression on her face. “Oh, gosh. What is it?”
She took a deep breath and pushed it out, her chest was tightening. “Harry and I did something.”
Emma’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “What!”
Ivy shushed her, taking a few steps closer so she could whisper. They were alone, but she still didn’t want to risk anything. The pure excitement on Emma’s face made her tension ease. She’s had these talks plenty of times with her, especially recently since she started dating Harry.
“We were cuddling and.. talking about stuff. I asked him some questions that kinda led us.. to me getting off on his thigh.”
Ivy thought Emma was going to pass out as her draw hit the floor and her hands reached out to grab her. She laughed at her reaction and waited for her to catch her breath.
“Are you serious? You rode his fucking thigh?”
Ivy shushed her again. “Kinda. We were laying down.. he put it between my legs.”
“You are so fucking insane.” Emma said with a bright smile. “I’ve never even done that!”
Ivy bit her cheek for a moment as the memory replayed in her mind. “You should try it.”
“So.. do you think you’re ready?” Emma turned serious, her eyes wide as she waited.
“I want to be, but I’m not sure.”
“Maybe you should try.. even if you aren’t sure. You may change your mind.”
Ivy didn’t say anything, just smiled and felt her cheeks warm up. If anything, she was going to flush hard at the mention of intimate details. Neither of them ever thought Ivy would be the one to give a sex related tip. Emma was beyond proud and she made sure to express that before they left the restroom.
While they were leaving the restroom, a small altercation broke out at the table. Harry was trying to stay quiet, but as he sat there waiting for Ivy to return, he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Cory was trying to get a clear view of her. His blood was boiling beneath his skin, steam blowing out of his ears. He was irritated. He almost didn’t say anything, but when he turned his head and met Cory’s eyes, he lost control.
“Don’t fucking break your neck trying to look at her.” He snapped, making Cory flinch and grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Harry.” Niall tried to intervene, but it didn’t work.
“I haven’t done anything.” Cory furrowed his brows and gave Harry a sour look.
“Keep your eyes to yourself. Or I’ll fucking make you.”
“Do we need to swap seats?” Zayn offered as he realized how hostile the situation was becoming.
“No.” Harry answered for both of them. “If he sits anywhere else, he’ll fucking stare at her.”
“Harry, Ivy’s coming back.” Michelle chirped in, trying to reign in the drama before it turned to something more.
Just as Ivy returned to the table, Harry brought his hand from his lap and sat it on the table. She would’ve thought nothing of it if it hadn’t been clenched to a ball. She sat down and gently placed her hand over his fist.
“What’s the matter?” She asked him, not caring about anyone else at the table.
“Nothing.” He huffed out, avoiding her eyes.
He knew that if he looked into her pretty eyes and saw how confused and possibly upset she was, he’d feel immense guilt and ruin the night for everyone. He tried to keep his gaze off her, but it was hard to resist.
“What happened?” She turned her head towards Niall, demanding an answer from someone.
“Just a disagreement, that’s all.”
“It’s not a fucking disagreement.” Harry cut in, already abandoning his plan to not tell her the truth.
Ivy tried to pry his fingers apart, but he wouldn’t let her. “What happened?”
“I told Cory to stop staring at you. It gets on my nerves.” Harry had a look on his face that she hadn’t seen in a while - he was very annoyed.
“Okay.” She nodded softly, sliding her hand up his forearm. “It’s been addressed, so just calm down, alright?”
He softened his eyes as he watched her lips fall to a frown. “M’trying.”
She pulled his arm down, bringing his fist to her lap. He opened his hand this time when she touched his fingers. With a sigh, he laced his fingers with hers and gave her a half smile. He wasn’t feeling that anger anymore, instead he was focused solely on her. If she wanted him to calm down, then he would do just that.
Although he wasn’t angry, he was very reclusive towards everyone else. As they waited for their food to arrive, he never once joined in on a conversation. He didn’t laugh at any jokes or make snide comments about anything that was brought up. He either stared at the table or looked at Ivy whenever she spoke. It was extremely obvious that he was upset. Per usual, they all just acted like it was no big deal and carried on with their night.
Ivy wasn’t just one of his friends, though. She was genuinely concerned that he was going to explode if someone said the wrong thing to him. His anger and annoyance was shown through his hard expression and tense body language. It was like he was holding back, waiting for the moment to jump on someone. As her conversation with Emma and Niall faded out, she shifted her focus to Harry. He had been eyeing her already, so she met his eyes when she turned her head. She put on a smile, leaning over so their arms were touching. Before she said anything, her eyes darted to everyone at the table. Nobody was paying them any attention.
“Are you feeling okay?” She asked in a soft voice.
He just looked at her, didn’t say a word. She saw his throat move as he gulped. Maybe he wasn’t in the mood to talk. It was digging up memories for her, but not the good ones. She thought about those times he would just stare at her instead of speaking or when he’d ignore her existence. She never wanted to revert back to those times.
She licked her lips, smearing her lip gloss, and squeezed his fingers. “I bought stuff to make homemade chocolate chip cookies for you tonight.”
Harry moved his eyes down to her lips, noticing that her gloss had slipped onto her skin. When he looked back to her eyes, she had a precious look on her face. Her smile was gentle, her eyes wide as she stared at him. He gave her a nod, not wanting to say anything out loud.
“I got an extra bag of chocolate chips.” She pushed herself forward so that her chin touched his shoulder, her eyes fluttering as she looked up at him. “Since you love them so much.”
When Harry agreed to stay with her for the weekend, she thought about cooking him different things. The cookies were the top priority since the last time she made them he absolutely loved them. She was sure talking about this would make him respond, but he didn’t.
“Are you not gonna talk to me?” She pouted her lips out after a few long moments of them just staring at each other.
He lifted his hand to her face and gently rubbed his thumb along the spot her lip gloss smeared on to, clearing it from her skin. As he dropped his hand back to his lap, she frowned.
“Are you mad at me?” She asked in the softest voice she could muster.
He sighed, clenching his jaw as he stared at her eyes that were now full of sadness and worry. The sparkle had simmered out. He wanted to tell her that nothing she had done caused his mood, but he didn’t open his mouth. All he did was gently shake his head.
Ivy felt frustration start to stack up in her chest. Why was he acting this way? They weren’t supposed to be this way anymore. Had she actually done something? She leaned back in her chair, turning her head away from him. Her eyes fell to her lap, where his hand sat so comfortably on her thigh. She wiggled her fingers out of his grip and chose to cover his big hand with her own. He relaxed his fingers on her thigh and squeezed her a few times. She stared at his hand for a long moment, her eyes trained on the rings covering his fingers. At least he was touching her, and not yelling at her or saying hurtful things. Staying quiet might be his only way of controlling himself. Ivy feared it would be a long night.
Harry didn’t say a word to anyone for the rest of the night. He ate his food in silence, surrounded by conversations and laughs from everyone at the table. Ivy couldn’t spend the entire time focused on him, she would get too upset and possibly have a breakdown. So, she just kept hold of his hand under the table and stayed active with everyone else. The only time she let his hand go was while she was eating, but he never once moved his. He gripped her leg tight as he waited for her to return to her touch.
When it was time to pay, Ivy grabbed her purse off the back of her chair. Harry shewed her hand away from the bag as he laid his card on the table. She got the gist of what he was doing, so she snapped her purse shut and let out a deep breath. She hoped his mute session would end once they were in her car.
As cards were being returned to the table, Harry stood up and said nothing as he slipped his wallet in his pocket. He walked around Ivy’s chair and held his hand out, waiting for her to join him. She put on a fake bright smile for everyone and thanked them for the invite. Harry didn’t even look at anyone as she stood up. They started for the door, that heavy silence still beating down on them. Ivy looked over her shoulder, a sadness taking over as she saw how happy everyone else looked. Emma was smiling and Niall was laughing loud enough she could still hear him. Everyone had a good time, then there was Harry.
Ivy was going to drive back home, but Harry guided her to the passenger door instead. She wasn’t going to argue with him, even if it was her car - she wasn’t in the mood to drive. He opened the door for her and held her hand until she got situated. Still, he said nothing. He got in the car and started it up, his eyes fixed on the windshield as he waited for the car behind them to drive by before he started to back out of the space.
The entire ride home was quiet, the only sound was the low volume of the radio. Ivy didn’t dare say anything to him, she stayed silent. Her eyes looked out the window but she didn’t actually process anything she saw. She was deep in her thoughts, lost in them really. Her weekend with Harry might have been ruined by tonight’s dinner, and that was making her feel bad. She insisted they join everyone when he clearly didn’t want to. Maybe it was her fault. She should’ve put him first and did what he was comfortable doing. He’s done that for her, why didn’t she return the favor? The only time they made contact with each other was when they were halfway home. Ivy reached over and carefully grabbed his hand. Harry wasn’t going to deny her of touching him, so he relaxed his tense muscles and let her pull his hand across the console to her lap. She wanted to feel his skin on hers.
She didn’t think he’d actually stay quiet this long, but even when they got out of the car to walk inside, he never said a word. He stood directly behind her as she tried to find her house key. His hand touched her waist as he waited, the touch gave her some hope. Maybe he was just not sure of what to say to her, so he was remaining silent. She was praying that was the case, and that he actually wasn’t mad at her. Ivy stuck the key in the door and twisted it, finally letting them inside.
She started the trip to her bedroom, not expecting him to follow her. “I’m gonna go change.”
Harry didn’t say anything, he just walked the same path she was taking. She could sense him behind her, so when she got to her door, she left it open for him to come on in. He leaned against the frame, his eyes watching her as she trailed to her dresser. She contemplated what she wanted to wear. Was she aiming to be super comfortable or should she change into something more casual? When she opened her drawer, her stomach started to fill with butterflies. Without hesitating, she grabbed an item out of the drawer and turned to face him.
“Do you like this one?” She asked with an innocence to her tone, holding up the baby pink silk nightgown that looked similar to the one she wore at his house last weekend.
He observed the fabric for a moment, realizing that she would be wearing that around for the rest of the night. The last time they were together, he didn’t have the chance to admire her in it as she walked or lounged on the couch. He licked his lips and gave her a nod. Ivy felt some disappointment when she didn't hear his voice, but she was trying to remain calm.
“I need to wash my face and all that.” She said through a sigh as she crossed the room, heading straight for where he stood at the door.
Ivy was about to mumble a faint excuse me and squeeze by him when he grabbed her elbow and gave her a light tug, pulling her back in front of him. She felt an odd sense of fear start to fill her veins. As she tilted her head back to look at him, she fully expected to see an enraged face. Instead, she was met with a subtle frown and lowered brows.
“I’m sorry.” Harry’s deep voice was almost foreign to her. It felt like it was the first they ever spoke to one another. “I.. I shouldn't have acted the way I did to you.”
Ivy chewed on the inside of her cheek for a few seconds as she stared into his eyes. She could see they were full of worry and concern. He was afraid he’d really messed up again and that she wouldn’t forgive him or give a chance to make it right. She tore her eyes from his and opted to look at his chest.
“I almost forgot what your voice sounded like.” She mumbled.
He was relieved to hear her sass come back, even if it was in a hushed voice. He slid his hand on her jaw, picking her head up so he could see her eyes again. She definitely wasn’t boosting with excitement, and that was all his fault.
“I’m sorry, I mean it.”
“You made me very sad.” She told him truthfully, her lips forming a pout.
“I know.” He rubbed his thumb over her cheek, feeling the natural worth of her skin. “M’alright now, I promise.”
Ivy brought her hand to his wrist. “But you weren’t earlier. What happened?”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“You got very mad. It must’ve been something.”
As much as he didn’t want to address it, he couldn’t keep being rude to her. He had hurt her so much tonight, she couldn’t take much more. He huffed, but kept his composure. There was no need to lose it on her, she just asked a question.
“I don’t like when people stare at you like they want you. It makes me..” He stopped, his eyes moving off hers for the first time since he stopped her.
“Jealous.” She finished his sentence.
He rolled his eyes, a smile lightly flashing on his lips. “Maybe.”
“It’s okay to be a little jealous.” She pulled his hand off her face so she could slot her fingers in between his. “Just have to be nice, too.”
“I’m trying to do better.” He was serious, and she could tell.
“I know. You’re doing a lot better.” She placed a kiss to his chin, teasing him by not going any further. “I’ll go change and then I’ll make the cookies.”
“I’ll help you.” He said with a smile.
“I can change on my own.”
“Attitude, hm?” He cocked a brow at her.
She didn’t say anything, just grinned before letting his hand go. Harry moved out of her way so she could go wash her makeup off and get ready for her comfortable attire. He chose to change in her room, opting for a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
Ivy decided to let the incident go. There was no point in worrying over it any longer. She was more focused on enjoying her alone with Harry. As she gathered the ingridents for the cookies, he stood with his back leaned against the refrigerator, waiting for instructions from her. He told her he wanted to help, but she insisted it wouldn’t be necessary. After seeing him pout about it and practically be her, she decided he could help out.
“Will you get the eggs? I forgot them.” She glanced over her shoulder as she sat the other things on the counter.
He did as she asked, taking them to her so she could get the number she needed. She picked a few out and sat them in an empty bowl for now. Harry put the carton away and returned to her side, his curious eyes watching her every move. He had never made cookies from scratch before, so he was paying close attention. Ivy started to scoop out the amount of each thing she needed, dumping them in the mixing bowl one at a time.
Harry was intrigued by her desire to do this from a real recipe. He thought pulling the precut squares out of a package was much easier and less time consuming. But as he watched her crack the eggs into the bowl, he realized that she enjoyed it a lot. She had a big, content smile on her lips as she started to incorporate the ingredients together. He wasn’t quite sure how much of each thing was included, he got easily distracted by her profile and the sound of her voice. When she added the extra portion, or two - she wasn't measuring, of chocolate chips, a warmth grew in his chest. To know she considered him enough to add extras meant more to him than he ever thought it could. Last time she made cookies, she had a few leftovers that he found in her microwave while staying the night with her. He complimented them and mentioned how much he loved chocolate chips. He never told her the cookies needed more, but to know she figured he’d want more was enough to make him fall deeper in love with her.
Ivy mixed everything together and instructed him to grab the pan. He quickly did as she told him, making her giggle at his anxious behavior. He didn’t want to do anything wrong or mess up her process by being too slow. She wanted him to be included, so she showed him how to scoop a bit of the mix onto a spoon, then shape it into a ball with gentle touching. She then told him to do the rest. He was nervous at first, and definitely afraid that he’d mess them up, but her encouraging nod and smile made him feel better. She wanted him to do this, he could never tell her no.
“This looks horrible.” He sighed as he showed her the ball he made.
She held in a laugh, gesturing for him to sit it down on the pan. “It looks fine. It’s going to flatten out anyway.”
His eyes fell down her body, still in disbelief that she was wearing this in front of him. He was very pleased by it, though. It was a distraction, but he tried to ignore it as he made more of the dough into balls.
“You finish doing this while I switch over my laundry.” She patted him on his back, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw for encouragement.
“I’ll try.”
Ivy snickered to herself as she walked away, hearing him huff as the shape of the cookie dough wasn’t turning into what he wanted. She left him to finish the job on his own, figuring he’d be occupied long enough for her to do what she needed to do. Despite wishing she was by his side, he persevered through the task while she was gone. He tried his best to get the cookies to be even, if not then at least close to it. She was moving quickly as she pulled out the dry clothes and threw in the washed load. There was a mix of hers and Emma’s clothes, so she just left the hamper in the small laundry room with the intention to sort and fold them tomorrow.
To her surprise, Harry was finishing the last scoop of cookie dough when she returned to his side. She clapped her hands together, grinning as she saw the big tray of cookies ready to be put in the oven.
“These look great!” She said with a soft laugh, he was not impressed with his work.
After she put them in the oven and set a timer on her phone, Ivy insisted they sit on the couch and try to pick something to watch. Harry didn’t care what they chose, as long as she was pleased with it. They sat down, side by side, and started to flick through their options. She wasn’t necessarily feeling any type of way, so she didn’t know what genre of movie to look at. When asked what he wanted to watch, Harry told her it didn’t matter. She wanted his input, so she practically begged him to pick something. He didn’t give in.
She settled on a random movie she’s seen multiple times after not getting any ideas or any suggestions from Harry. She nestled close to him, her body sinking into his as his arm laid over her back, pulling her close. Neither of them really cared about the television screen, but they both opted to watch the movie at least while waiting for the cookies. Ivy was starving for a sweet snack, and she knew that if she focused on the movie the wait time would fly by.
Harry chuckled to himself as Ivy mumbled something about wanting to be comfortable before throwing herself on his lap, her hair all over the place as she situated her head on his thigh. He helped her pull it back over her shoulder, running his fingers through it carefully so he didn’t catch a tangle. She rested her hand on his knee, giving it a squeeze as she relaxed on him. He didn’t mind one bit, in fact he was very satisfied with this new position. He placed his hand on her side, smiling as she let out a soft giggle. She was rather ticklish in that spot.
A few minutes passed by and Ivy decided she wasn’t interested in the movie. She let out a sigh and flopped over onto her back, making Harry laugh as she groaned and tried to get comfortable on his lap again.
“You alright?” He asked in a low voice as his hand found a new resting spot on her abdomen, right on top of her navel.
“I just wanna look at you.” She shot him a quick grin.
“Hm, I could tell you weren’t very thrilled about watching a movie.” He offered her a smile while combing her overgrown bangs out of her face.
“Not really.”
He licked his lips as he looked down at the beautiful woman lounged on his thighs like they were made just for her. He was certain they were. She trailed her eyes to the ceiling, mindlessly laying there as she waited for the timer to go off. There was something so pure and innocent about her gazing up with her lips slightly poked. Here she was laying on him while wearing this very flattering piece of clothing that just barely covered her bits and pieces. It was making his heart flutter and his mind wander to things he shouldn’t be thinking about, but it was hard to resist the ideas and the things he was imagining.
Ivy laid her hand over his, grabbing his thumb to stop it from moving on her stomach. When she flicked her eyes back to his, he gave her a slightly confused look. She was gripping his thumb tight, like she didn’t want him to move it.
“That tickles.” She muttered, a redness covering her cheeks.
“Sorry.” He smiled, not even realizing he had been rubbing circles into her body.
She let her attention move to his index finger. He was still wearing his rings, he only took them off before bed or when he would shower. She was curious to know which one he had on this finger, so she pulled it off and brought it closer to her face. He watched her observe the ring’s details, turning it slowly in her fingers to catch every angle of it. She slid it back on after a minute, shifting her eyes back to his. Of course, he had been staring at her the entire time with a soft smirk on his mouth.
“Those cookies are taking forever.”
Harry shook his head lightly at her. “You’ll survive, babe.”
She grabbed his wrist and moved his hand higher up her torso. “But what if I don’t?”
“Then I’ll eat one for you.” He lightly pinched her through the nightgown, making her shriek.
Right when he was going to do it again just to get the cute reaction out of her, the timer on her phone started to blare out. She leaned up, her hand digging into his thigh to hold herself up. She had so much excitement and joy on her face, he couldn’t believe something so trivial could make her so happy.
“I will survive after all!” She cheered, then quickly kissed his lips.
He wanted more, but he knew there would be no holding her back from getting those cookies out of the oven. She jumped up and hurried into the kitchen, beyond excited at this point.
Ivy sat the tray on the stovetop and turned off the oven. She was pleased with how the cookies baked. She didn’t like them to be crispy or hard, so she pulled them out at the perfect time. They had gooey centers and slightly browned edges. Her lack of patience was taking over and she was using a spatula to pick up a few of the hot cookies. She put them on a plate and carried them back to the couch. Harry eyed her with a smile as she returned to sit next to him, this time facing him with her legs crossed on the couch.
“I didn’t want to wait for them to cool.” She said with a shrug, resting the plate on her lap.
“They don’t look too bad. M’not the best cookie shaper.” Harry was amused while watching her handle the piping hot cookie. It was breaking in her hand, chocolate smearing on her fingers.
“They’re perfect. We did a good job.” Ivy gave him a proud smile before cautiously popping a piece into her mouth.
It was hot, but it was bearable. She hummed and closed her eyes as the taste coated her tongue. It was heavenly. Harry wanted in on the action, so he stole a piece of the cookie she had broken in half and took a bite. He nodded in approval when she looked his way for his reaction.
“So good!” She squealed, eating the rest of what broke to mushy pieces in her hand.
Harry always found her the most attractive when she was doing the simplest of things - like eating a cookie that they made together. Her genuine excitement and laughter just made her feel so real. It was refreshing and relieving and magical and perfect - she made every moment more special. He found himself abandoning the cookies all together and just staring at her. She didn’t notice, which was a surprise. It was always something she took notice of, whenever he stared at her. The experience with the cookie was distracting her. It offered him some time to just admire her. He didn’t take a second of it for granted.
Ivy glanced at him, her cheeks naturally reddening as she saw his intense gaze, but she wasn’t worried about it. She was breaking a second cookie into two pieces to eat more. Even though she was thoroughly enjoying the cookies, there were a few thoughts lingering in her mind. She remembered she had the nightgown on, which made her think about last weekend when she contemplated it. Ever since they made their relationship official, she’s wanted to give Harry every part of her. They’ve done so much together, gotten to know each other on deep levels, spent so much time doing both fun and relaxing things with each other. He’s opened up to her, shown her that he’s capable of showing affection and love. Every time she looks at her, whether he’s already staring at her or not, she falls more and more in love with him. Every time he lays his hands on her body or touches his lips to hers, sparks erupt in her chest and butterflies the size of airplanes swarm in her stomach. She loves him so much. The words hadn’t been spoken by either of them, but she could feel it.
She released a slow breath, her hands grabbing the plate of cookies. “Do you want any more?”
“Not right now.” He shook his head.
Ivy got up to go to the kitchen, the plate in her hand. She wondered why he only took a small piece of a cookie and didn’t indulge in more. Maybe he wasn’t craving the sweetness the same way she was. There was no need to let the thought worried her, so she pushed it out of her mind.
She came back to the couch after putting the plate on the counter. The task of putting all the cookies away did not sound fun, so she decided to do it before she went to bed. As she stepped in front of him, he reached out to grab her waist. She let out a soft giggle as he roughly gripped her to keep her still. When she looked down at him, those bright green eyes were already gazing up at her. He had a devious smirk plastered on his lips and a lustful gleam in his eyes.
“Haven’t kissed you much today.” He said with a greedy tone, his eyes hungry for her.
“No, you haven’t.” She replied, a sweet tone in her voice that teased him more than anything. “Mind if I have a seat?”
“Wouldn’t want you to be anywhere else, baby.”
With ease and confidence, she placed herself on his lap and let her hands find his neck. He groaned softly as she pressed the edges of her nails against his skin. She didn’t dig in, just applied some pressure. It made his stomach knot up.
“I love this on you.” Harry’s voice was deep and raspy as he gently tugged at the hem of her nightgown.
She smiled, brushing her lips against his cheek. “I put it on just for you.”
“Hm, know how to torture me, don’t you?” He chuckled as she nudged her nose against his ear lobe, taking in the scent of his hair.
“Payback for what you do to me.” She whispered, her warm breath making goosebumps rise on his skin.
Ivy left a couple of soft pecks to the corner of his jaw before finally giving him what he was patiently waiting for. The second her lips touched his, he felt his stomach drop. He had waited all week to kiss her like this and hold her this way. He missed her so much, and after tonight’s drama he just wanted to melt into her. It was no surprise that he was immediately possessive with her body. He held on tight to her waist, squeezing her every few seconds. Ivy couldn’t keep her touch off him.
Her tongue poked through his lips, making him laugh softly and bump his tongue into hers. She had waited just as long for this as he did. All night during dinner, while they sat side by side, she wanted to swallow him whole. Now, her wish had come true and he was all hers.
They kissed for what seemed like forever. Grunts and moans and gentle laughs filled the air, the sound of their lips smacking together and tongues moving added to the noise. Ivy was lost in the bliss, not caring about anything at all. Harry was focused on her mouth, trying his best to ignore how she was gently rocking her hips on his crotch. He didn’t think she was doing it on purpose, since it was more likely it was just her body moving as they kissed. It was hard to avoid certain thoughts.
Her fingers moved to his hair, where she pulled on his roots. His head would jerk back when she gave him a hard tug, making him moan into her mouth and grip her tight. He wanted to test the water, so he carefully shifted his hands down to her hips. He held her in a way that made her toes curl and her heart pound. His heavy hands felt like they were made to squeeze her. Ivy curled her fingers in a section of his hair as he let one hand fall to her ass. She didn’t stop him, so he assumed she was okay with it. She was more than okay with it - she wanted more. She wanted him to touch her all over and remind her that she belonged to him. Yet, she was still hestiant to say that.
Ivy let out a breathy moan as he groped her butt. Some of it was still covered by the nightgown and she wanted to know what it was like to feel his skin on her. She grabbed both of his wrists and manuenvered his hands to her hips. She pressed them against her body and started moving them upward, the fabric catching against his skin. He grunted as he realized she was wanting him to pull the gown up. He took over, gently pushing her hands back, so he could push the material over her hips. Without breaking their kiss, he slid his hands under the fabric and started to explore her bare skin.
Her stomach was flipping and twisting around, the feeling of his warm skin in places it hadn’t been before was enough to make a wet spot form on her panties. He wanted to look at her, wanted to see how beautiful she looked like this, but he didn’t dare break the kiss. They were too deep in it, too intensely tied together for that to happen right now. The feeling of her body in his hands was making his head spin. He knew touching her would be incredible, but he never imagined it would be this nice. She wasn’t even naked, yet he felt like he was experiencing it all.
With each passing minute, their kissing became sloppier. It was always the same cycle for them. Greedy hands, soft moans, and spit coating their lips. Harry slid his hands to her hips, feeling the fabric of her underwear against his skin. He was hardly paying attention to what he was doing as he started to push her down on his crotch. He bucked his hips up, sending friction straight to her clit. She tried to ignore it, but when he did again, she couldn’t fight it.
“Harry.” She gasped, her forehead landing on his as she tore her mouth away.
“M’sorry.” He mumbled out, having already convinced himself he went too far.
Ivy grabbed his face on either side, holding his head up so she could stare into his eyes. She had never seen someone so beautiful before. Her heart swelled as she saw his soft frown. He really thought he had messed up and went too far with her again, but he was wrong this time. She rolled her lips in for a moment as she looked over his face, admiring his features and wondering how she became so lucky. Harry was attractive enough to pull anyone he wanted, yet he chose her. He’d say the same about her, of course, but she’d never believe she was worth anyone’s spare glances.
“Can we go to my room?” She asked in a soft voice.
“Are you tired?” He gave her waist a squeeze. “Or do you just wanna cuddle?”
She couldn’t resist the sweet smile that shaped her lips. “I wanna do more than cuddle.”
His brows gently furrowed. He chose not to say anything, only because he didn’t want to assume. Maybe she meant she just wanted to utilize his thigh like she had a week ago in his bed. If that were the case, he’d be on board for that. Without saying anything more, she got off his lap and reached for his hand. Her tug to pull him up wasn’t very strong, which made him chuckle as he brought himself to his feet. Ivy wasted no time dragging him towards her room.
She flicked on the ceiling light and quickly turned to face him. She didn’t say anything, just slid her hands onto his waist and pulled herself into his body. He wrapped his arms around her, sort of confused about what she wanted. Ivy held him like that for a few moments, savoring the feeling of being safe in his hold. When she let him go, she laced their fingers again and walked him to her bed. She was nervous and unsure of how to do this, but she hoped that he would understand what she wanted.
Harry watched her carefully as she rotated to face him again. She licked her lips and stared at his chest for a few seconds. It took a lot of courage, but she mustered up all of her energy and took hold of the strings of his sweatpants. He touched her elbow, making her freeze. She was afraid to look at him. What if he didn’t want this with her? What if he was tired of waiting and he had lost all interest? That was an insane thought, of course, but it was something she feared.
“Baby.” He muttered the name, wanting her to look up at him.
“I want to try, Harry.” She said quietly, her eyes staring at the tied strings she was holding on to.
She could obviously see that his body had reacted to her being on top of him. He wasn’t completely erect, but it was definitely obvious. It gave her some hope. That senseless fear wasn’t really present anymore. Now she was simply trying to retain that courage. Harry had wanted this just as long as she did, he definitely wouldn’t deny her now.
“Then let me take care of you.” He took hold of her waist like he always did.
Her head fell back. It felt like it was the first time she had ever looked at him. His piercing eyes made her chest tighten, but she knew there was no need to be afraid. He moved them backwards, her legs hitting the bed.
“Lay down, get comfy.” He told her.
She climbed on the bed, aware that her ass was on display as she crawled to the middle and laid down, kicking the covers back. Harry pulled the strings of his pants and discarded them on the floor. Before he joined her, he went to his bag and got something out. Ivy gulped a lump down her throat as he laid the condom down on the nightstand, his eyes flicking to hers.
Harry was trying not to make a big deal out of it, but he should’ve known she would be watching his every move. He pressed his hand into the mattress and leaned down to her, a serious look on his face.
“Are you sure you want to? I don’t want you to rush yourself.”
She was thankful he was so considerate, but she was tired of waiting. She grabbed his jaw and brought her lips to his, kissing him for a long moment. When her head landed back on the pillow and her sparkly eyes met his again, she gave him a soft smile.
“I’m sure.”
He returned the smile, then got on his side next to her. His hand covered her stomach as he propped himself on his elbow. Ivy wasn’t sure what she needed to do or say, so she stayed still and waited for him.
“I want you to be vocal with me, okay?”
“Vocal?” She muttered the word out, her brows furrowing.
He held back a chuckle. It was always cute to see her so flustered. Now she’s forgetting what simple words mean because she can’t control her feelings. He was pleased to know she was at least paying attention.
“Tell me if I’m hurting you or if you don’t like something.” He explained.
“You won’t hurt me.” She frowned at the mention of it.
He didn’t say anything, just let out a gentle sigh. He wasn’t sure how it would go. It had been a long time since she had something go inside of her more than the inch. He was afraid of hurting her by going too fast or being too rough. Ivy didn’t know what to expect, but she trusted him more than anyone.
Harry started to kiss her again, this time going more slow and gentle with her. She was easily invested in the kiss. Her hands reached for him, grabbing his jaw and his shoulder. He let out a light laugh as she tried to pull him. It was obvious what she wanted, so he gave it to her. He climbed on top of her, nudging her legs apart with his knee. She relaxed her body, letting her legs fall so he could rest between them. The feeling of his crotch pressing into hers was heavy. He weighed her down, his body felt much different when he was the one on top.
Kissing her was definitely one of his favorite things, but he didn’t want to waste too much time on that. He twisted his tongue with hers for a few more minutes, letting his hands glide up and down her sides, pushing the material of her nightgown up. When he grabbed the hem and broke their kiss, Ivy started to chew on her cheek. He guided the fabric up her body, stopping right as he reached her boobs. She gave him an approving nod when he glanced at her. Harry assisted her in taking the item off her body. She wiggled her arms out and laughed as he struggled to get it off. He threw it off the bed, his lips returning to hers for a few seconds.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” His eyes looked over her chest, what he had felt pressed against him while they slept or when they hugged was finally visible. He just knew they would be perfect. “So beautiful.”
Ivy gasped as Harry started sucking a spot on her neck, just below her ear. This went past the usual kisses he sneaks to that area, but she wasn’t complaining. He marked her neck in a couple of spots before licking a stripe up her throat. The feeling of his warm tongue sliding on her skin made her toes curl and her hands reach for his hair. He grunted the moment she twisted them in his locks, holding on as he moved lower. He kissed a trail down the middle of her chest, then carefully started to dot pecks across her boob. She had never experienced such intense sensations before.
“Do they look okay?” She nervously asked, fearful of the answer.
Harry lifted his head so he could see her. “Baby, shh, you’re perfect.”
She chose to believe him. As he softly kissed her boob, his hand massaging the other one, he realized he had never worshiped someone’s body the way he was doing with Ivy. He’d never taken the time or cared to try it out. The task seemed too personal, and he was always in that no strings attached mentality. But with her, things were astronomically different. He was in love with her, and he wanted to kiss every inch of her body. He wanted to show her how important she was, how much he loved her.
A soft moan escaped her lips as his mouth moved to her other boob. He wanted to give her equal attention. Although she was thoroughly enjoying the way it was all making her stomach drop and her heart flutter, she was starting to think it was unfair. He was doing all of this sweet stuff for her, and she hasn’t done anything in return.
“You don’t have to do all of this.”
He grunted as he pulled off her nipple, moving his mouth to hers. “Shh, stop worrying, baby. I want to do all this. Do you like it?”
Ivy whimpered as he took his lips away. “Yes, I love it.”
He smirked softly, soon picking up where he left off. He started his path down her stomach, being mindful of her ticklish spots. He was gentle with his hands, carefully caressing her body and pushing his palms into her. Her mind was dizzy as the emotions swirled in her head. She didn’t want to embarrass herself by making too much noise, yet she wanted to moan with every touch he gave her.
Harry peaked at her through his lashes as his lips reached the top of her panties. The soft, pink cotton fabric almost matched the nightgown perfectly. He wondered if she did that on purpose. He licked his lips before pressing a kiss over her clothed skin. Her chest started to rise and fall at a quicker pace, her breaths quicker than before. Ivy tried to control herself, but it was difficult to manage her breathing when her heart wanted to jump out of her chest. Her fingers were loosely holding onto his hair. She debated letting go, but she didn’t want to lose feel of him.
“Tell me if you want me to stop.” He said in a low voice as he took hold of her thighs, parting them further to open her up.
Harry’s own heart was pounding as he continued his trail down her center, placing soft kisses on the inside of her thigh. He avoided her most sensitive area for now, just teasing her with gentle bites and sucks down her thigh. As he lowered himself, she released his hair. The feeling of it brushing against her skin made shockwaves race through her body.
She didn’t realize her eyes were closed until she felt the bed dip under his weight. He moved to his knees, his eyes on hers as he touched the outside of her thighs. He pushed them together, then placed his hands over her hips.
“Is this okay?” He waited for her to answer as he had his fingers hooked over the band of her panties.
“Yeah, s’fine.” She assured him with a smile, raising her head to watch him.
She held her breath as he drug the fabric over her hips and down her thighs. She kept her knees together as he plucked the panties off her body, dropping them next to him. He gave her a gentle pat on her calf muscle, silently telling her to let her legs fall again. It took every ounce of courage in her body to do it, but she did it with a smile. He nudged her knees further apart, his eyes finally uncovering a piece of her he’s craved to see for so long. He chewed on his tongue as he looked over every inch of her.
Harry returned to his previous spot, this time with his arms wrapped around her legs and his face shoved between them.
“Got such a pretty pussy, hm? Knew you would.”
“Harry.” She whined, desperate to feel him down there.
“Look at you. So wet f’me already, baby.” He twisted his tongue as he tried to hold back just a bit longer - more so to tease himself than to make her wait.
“Please.”
He smirked. “Want me to eat your pussy, kitten? Hm, want my tongue?”
It wasn’t his intention to be so filthy with her, but he couldn’t resist it. He knew the effect his words had on her, how he could make her flush and shy away from him so easily. It was a turn on, especially now as she laid on her bed with her legs opened for him.
“Yes, please, Harry.” Ivy used a soft tone, her eyes squeezing shut as she waited.
“Watch me, baby. Want you to look at me.” He gave her thigh a pinch, getting her attention.
She propped herself up on her elbows, her lustful eyes gazing down at him. Harry widened his tongue and pushed it through her small folds, from the bottom to the top where her clit was throbbing. The most beautiful sound he’d ever heard came out of her mouth, followed by his name. He did it again, slower this time so he could savor the taste. Harry started to suck on her clit, the sounds he was pulling from Ivy’s throat were making his cock throb. He wanted her so bad, needed her more than anything.
She was trying to keep her eyes on him, but they were rolling back as she let out moan after moan. Her head fell after a short time, he was slurping her up like his life depended on it.
“Fuck, Harry.” She was breathless as he continued the sweet torture.
Touching herself or using some kind of toy had never given her this level of satisfaction and pleasure. She felt like she was floating, like her soul had left her body. Harry had a way of doing things that made her lose her mind, and using his tongue happened to be one of those things. She couldn’t imagine it getting any better than this. He licked and sucked on her for a few more minutes until he decided it was time to ease into her. He pulled back to stick his finger in his mouth, coating his skin so it would be slick.
Ivy whined as she tried to tug on his hair, wanting his mouth back on her. He smirked while glancing at her, she was definitely a needy girl. The thought of making her wait any longer was not appealing, he didn’t want her to get irritated. He returned his mouth to her pussy, sucking hard on her clit to distract her from any discomfort his finger might bring. He kept his eyes on her while his finger slid in. She didn’t react badly or wince, so he assumed it was okay. He kept it in for a few moments, letting her body get used to something being there, before pulling it out. Feeling it push back in made her stomach churn. She liked the fact it was his finger and not hers. As he sucked hard on her clit, she grabbed him by his roots and held his head down. He was genuinely surprised yet excited that she was being so reactive with him.
She was feeling herself fall close to the edge as he added a second finger. His tongue was destroying her, making her back arch off the mattress and her fingers pull as hard as she could on his hair. Moans filled the air, the sound of him eating her up mixed in.
“Fuck, Harry, m’gonna cum.” She gasped suddenly while stars filled her eyes.
She fell back onto the pillow, not caring to watch him anymore. She was too overwhelmed, too much was happening inside of her body. Harry kept on fingering her and hallowing his cheeks around her clit, watching as her body moved and her belly rolled.
“I’m cumming.” She announced through a high pitched voice, her eyes falling back in her head as it hit her.
It was like waves crashing on a shore - hard, fast and constant. It was never ending. The orgasm riddled her body, making her legs shake and her hands twitch. She was experiencing the best climax she’d ever had, and she wanted it to last forever. Harry was still licking her pussy, and the oversensitivity was kicking in. She shoved his head back, her hand falling to cover herself. He chuckled as he proudly grinned. He was quite baffled by how gorgeous she looked while cumming for him.
“Fuck, baby.” He licked his lips to clear up any leftovers. “You’re so fucking hot, yeah?”
She couldn’t say anything, just shook her head in disbelief as she tried to catch her breath. Harry fell forward, his hand catching his body weight on the mattress. She had a layer of sweat over her forehead, her eyes were hardly opened as she peered up at him. He smiled again, so proud of what he did and how well she responded to it.
“Taste so good.” He told her in a low mumble, his tongue poking out to coat his lips again.
She finally smiled, slightly embarrassed but more blissful than anything. “That was.. amazing.”
He dropped his forehead to hers, teasing her lips with a kiss. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.” She bit down on her cheek as she watched his hand disappear between them.
“How was my finger, hm? Feel alright?”
She nodded, her eyes trying to see what he was doing. He noticed her eagerness, so he raised back to his knees, his hand holding his bulge. Ivy was definitely intimidating by it, but she was ready to see and feel what he was hiding. He stuck his hand in his underwear and pulled himself out, showing her exactly what she was waiting on. She swallowed as she saw him. Harry quickly slid off his underwear and leaned over her to snatch the condom off the nightstand. She shuddered as she felt his cock brush against her body. He let out a light chuckle, thinking it was the most innocent thing she’d done.
“Positive you want to go this far? We can stop if you want.” He said as he got back to his knees, his fingers ripping open the package.
“Yes, I want to.”
He gave her a nod. Just as he was going to slid the condom down his length, Ivy’s hand moved down towards him. She stopped as she realized what she was doing. There was a desire burning in her gut. She wanted to touch him, wanted to feel him there. Harry focused his eyes on her, ignoring the condom for now.
“You don’t have to.” He told her as he saw how nervous she suddenly was. That bliss had faded.
“I want to.” She stayed brave, inching her hand back towards him.
He would be lying if he said he expected this to occur. Tonight was solely going to be focused on her needs and pleasure. He didn’t want to stress her out with the idea of a blowjob or even using her hand. But, as he saw the curiousity grow in her eyes, he knew she wanted to do this. She was hesitating to touch him, so he figured he’d make it easier for her. He took her hand and guided it to his cock. Her eyes locked with his as she wrapped her hand around it. He let out a sigh, the feeling was indescribable.
She could feel a bubbling in her stomach as she held it. There was a small voice talking in her head, suggesting that she ask him if she could put it in her mouth, if she could play with him the way he had done to her. But her confidence wasn’t that bold just yet. Instead, she gave it a few slow pumps, tightening her grip at the tip. Harry was breathing extremely slow, trying his best to contain his emotions. Watching her do this was sending electric pulses through his body.
Ivy finally let him go after a few seconds, leaving him to grab it himself and slid the condom on. She watched as he held himself at the base, angling his cock down to her pussy.
“Oh.” She jumped slightly as he started to rub the head of his cock over her clit, the intense feeling was mutual.
He wished he could feel her without any barrier, but now was not the time for that conversation. He spit on his hand and coated his tip, hoping it would be enough. He didn’t have any lube and he was certain she didn’t own any at all. He held himself in one hand as the other dug into the mattress beside her head, his body positioned over her.
Ivy noticed the furrow in his brow, and it was worrying her. Did she do something wrong? Did he want her to do more with her hand? She tried to ignore her thoughts and instead focus on him. She pressed her hands to his chest, his heartbeat racing against her palm.
“Is.. is this okay?”
He shot his eyes to hers, not even realizing he was staring at her shoulder. “Yeah, baby, it’s fine. I’ve never.. done it this way.”
A somewhat amused smile shaped to her lips. “Really? Isn’t this.. like the default way?”
“For most, I suppose. Too personal for me.” He lifted the corner of his mouth so she knew he wasn’t in a bad mood or anything.
“We can do it a different way.” She suggested with a shrug. “If you want.”
“No, you deserve the proper way.” He kissed her for a few seconds, losing himself in the way her lips felt on his.
He rubbed his cock through her folds, trying to ease her into it. She seemed to enjoy it so far. He gulped, hoping she didn’t notice, as he lined his tip with her entrance. Her eyes stayed locked with his, her hand moving to his jaw to hold on to him.
“Tell me if it hurts.” He whispered softly as he started to push in.
She grunted almost instantly, her lips rolling in as she tried to contain any noise. He shook his head, annoyed that he couldn’t make the process easier for her. Ivy rubbed her thumb over his dimple, trying her best to keep his attention. He huffed as he slipped further in, the tightness of her walls was suffocating in the best way possible.
“Is it okay?”
She nodded. “Mhm. It’s.. different, but it’s okay.”
He pushed more of himself inside of her. “Oh, fuck.”
Hearing him moan because of something she was doing was music to her ears. It really made the experience a thousand times better for her. He looked incredibly hot as his face contorted, his lips parting as her warmth consumed him.
“Oh my god.” She sighed out as he finally went all the way.
He stayed still, his eyes closing as he took slow, deep breaths. If he didn’t calm himself down now, he’d be busting inside of her within seconds. He had never felt this good before, never wanted to cum instantly. Ivy kissed his chin, hoping to get his attention back. Of course, he couldn’t deny her for long. His eyes opened and he gave her a smile.
“Are you okay?” He asked, checking on her before making any sudden moves.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
Ivy couldn’t quite determine if something was off or not. He had an odd sense about him. Was something wrong with her body, was it not what he expected? Maybe she was overthinking it and he was just reacting to feeling her the same way she was with him. Harry distracted her as he asked her another question.
“Is it okay if I move, or do you need a few seconds?”
She shook her head. “You can move.”
He held his breath as he pulled halfway out of her before slowly sinking in. She let out an angelic moan, her mouth falling. He kept his eyes on her as he did it again, this time slightly quicker. He didn’t want to rush or hurt her, but it was extremely hard to not engulf himself in the act. His body was telling him to pound into her until he came, but his heart and mind were reminding him to be gentle with her. She was a fragile girl, after all, he couldn’t hurt her.
“Harry.” She muttered his name, it was the most beautiful thing to him.
He went faster, but still not too quick. She seemed to be content with the feelings and her body was reacting well to his. He kept his attention on her as he moved his hips, grunting each time they met hers. It stayed like that for a few minutes. He kept a good pace, hitting spots she didn’t even know existed inside of her. Ivy’s moans and quiet gasps filled his ears as he gave her a few groans and a mumble of how perfect she was.
Everything was perfect, so far. Her expectations had been exceeded. She never imagined this could be so good, that she could be so in love with someone. This wasn’t just sex to her. She was giving him a piece of herself she couldn’t get back. Sure, it wasn’t her first time, but it was close enough and it meant everything to her. He had caressed her body, kissed her skin, and filled her with so many emotions and feelings. She loved him so much.
As he started to fasten his pace just a little, she felt a familiar feeling approaching. Her moans got louder, her nails scratched harder into his shoulder. Her stomach twisted as she felt it, so close.
“Harry, m’gonna cum.” She said through a chirp, her hand slipping into his hair. The second she tugged on his hair, he let out a groan and felt her walls tighten around his cock. “Oh my god, fuck.”
Her eyes fell back again, her mouth wide as she lost her breath. This time, he got to see close up how beautiful she looked when she came. He was throbbing inside of her as she clenched around him. He felt his own stomach knot up. Ivy rode the wave of her orgasm until it was crashing down. She grabbed his waist, holding onto his body as he slowly thrusted in her.
“Fuck, I.. I need a second.” He suddenly said, burying himself deep but stopping his movements.
“Did.. did I do something wrong?”
When he heard her worried tone, he felt like an idiot. He pushed his mouth on hers, kissing her hard for a long moment. As he pulled back, she returned her hand to his jaw and waited for an explanation.
“No, Ivy. You’re just.. so tight.”
“I’m sorry.”
He laughed lightly, kissing her lips again. “Baby, it’s not a bad thing, trust me. You feel incredible.”
“You can keep going. I’m okay now.” She said with a soft smile, wanting him to finish at whatever pace he needed to take.
Harry kissed a trail across her cheek to her jaw, then down to her neck. He slowly started back, keeping in mind that she was probably sensitive. She felt her heart swell as he nuzzled his face into her neck, his hips starting to move a bit quicker. Harry had his arm wrapped under her while the other elbow was next to her head. Her arm was holding onto his shoulder, her fingers messing with his hair as the other stayed glued to his jaw. She wanted to give him as much attention and affection as he had shown her tonight.
“Feels so good, Harry.” She whispered into his ear, making him groan.
His mind was racing with thoughts about her as he pushed and pulled out of her. He had never been so immersed into someone before, never felt this good while having sex. This was different, though. This wasn’t just a random fuck, this was special. It was a challenge to keep his attention on reality as he fought off thoughts of what all he wanted to do with her, how long he wanted to eat her pussy out and how good her mouth would feel wrapped around his cock. He didn’t realize he was thrusting harder until she was letting out a few whimpers. They were different than her previous ones.
“Harry, slow down, please.” Ivy said as her nails dug into his shoulder.
“M’sorry, fuck.” He lifted his head, checking on her to make sure she wasn’t crying.
The amount of worry he had on his face was concerning. She licked her lips and gently pulled his face closer to hers. He had moved so far and didn’t even realize it.
“It’s okay, Harry, it’s okay.” She spoke in a sweet tone, smiling so he knew she wasn’t hurting.
“M’sorry, baby.. I don’t wanna hurt you.” His frown made her heart sink.
She wondered what was going on in his head. How intense did this get for him before, how far did he go with his hookups? Was it rougher than this, did he prefer that? She wasn’t sure, but it was obvious he was trying to control himself.
“Shh, just.. go slow. It’s okay. You’re okay.” She placed soft kisses on his lips and chin, trying to bring him back to her.
“Does it hurt?”
She purposely clenched around him. “No, it feels good.”
“Yeah? Promise?” He asked, pleading with his eyes for the truth. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
“Feels so good, I promise.”
With her confirmation, he kept going. This time, he stayed present in the moment with her. His eyes fixed on hers, his mind clear of the thoughts. When he dug his face into her neck, he lost sense of time and just let the feeling of his cock being squeezed take over. That was a dangerous thing. He didn’t want to lose track of reality and end up hurting her.
Ivy combed her fingers through his hair as he slowly rocked his hips into hers. She was moaning softly, the feelings were returning for her. She was going to orgasm again, and she didn’t know how much her body could take. Was three going to be enough to wear her out, or would Harry need her to go one more time? She was willing to make him happy, as he did her.
It didn’t take much longer since Harry decided to focus on her and not his mind. He wasn’t concerned with releasing too soon. It was their first time together, he had to get used to her body. She was incredibly tight, and it was a wondrous feeling.
“Ivy, fuck.” He grunted out as he started to feel his stomach fall.
“M’gonna come again, Harry.” The second the words left her mouth, he felt his cock twitch.
“Cum for me, baby.” He sped up slightly, his own orgasm approaching.
Ivy couldn’t get any words out as her body experienced another orgasm. This time, her legs shook harder and her body arched up into his. As he felt her pussy pulsing around him, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. With a loud moan, he started to fill the condom.
“Oh, Ivy. Fuck me, baby.”
She watched with a happy smile as his mouth opened and a string of moans fell out. He looked very hot as he came. Beads of sweat covered his forehead, his hair slightly damp at his hairline. His eyes never left hers as he spurted ropes into the condom. She felt the warmth, it just added to her pleasure. As he finished, he slowed his hips and let himself rest inside of her.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful when you cum for me, baby.” He told her through a heavy sigh, his lips falling to hers.
She swiped her tongue through his mouth, tasting him for a few long moments. He held her body tight, his hand moving to the back of her head to bring her up. He never wanted to move from this spot - her boobs pressed into his chest, her lips locked with his, and his cock sunk into her pussy. He could live like this forever.
“Thank you.” She muttered out, her voice so sweet and soft.
He smiled. “Don’t thank me, baby. You were amazing.”
She giggled. “I didn’t do much.”
“You did more than you think, doll.” He winked before smacking a few more quick kisses to her lips. “I’ll grab something to clean you up with.”
She groaned as he tried to move. “Not yet. Wanna stay like this for a minute.”
Harry lowered his head to the crook of her neck, his mouth starting another kissing trail. She lost her fingers in his hair so easily, her eyes closing as she savored the feeling of his lips and tongue touching her skin. They stayed like that for longer than a minute. Harry was still hard inside of her, he wasn’t sure how long it would take for his cock to fall soft. But he didn’t care, he’d stay like this as long as she wanted. Ivy kept her hands on his body, moving them down his back then across his shoulders. She touched him like she’d never get the chance to again. And Harry, well, he left marks on her as if he had to prove his claim.
[a/n: hehehe you guys thought i was going to post early?? I had to tease you! hope u enjoy, be gentle with the smut this is their first time! Expect crazier stuff in the future. love u see u soon]
[..It was easy to notice the difference in his tone.
Niall already walked off, leaving them alone. Harry avoided her gaze, choosing to stare off behind her. Ivy felt a familiar feeling creeping in. Whenever she used to talk to Harry, she would be afraid that something would happen and he’d get angry. Right now, that thought was threatening to take over.
Harry didn’t say anything. He brought her into another hug, silence growing between them. She wasn’t sure if he was irritated or if he was just being quiet. She made sure to squeeze him tight. A minute passed before he finally let her go. He kissed her for just a moment, mumbling how he’d miss her. She returned the sweet words, trying to push away the worrying thought. Harry had a lesson and Ivy had to leave.. ]
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((if you’re tag isn’t working I removed it from the list, reach out if you’re name is supposed to be on there & it’s missing! — to reserve a spot on the list comment or message me!))
as promised, here are some more ivy inspired photos & a bit of info about the next few parts (no spoilers of course!) ↴
𓇢𓆸𓇢𓆸𓇢𓆸𓇢𓆸𓇢𓆸
(8) - you’re going to love this one. a bit of angst mixed with lots of fluff & soft h. definitely the one you’ve been waiting for! lots of dialogue, lots of sweetness
(9) some time is spent together & she learns a lot about him - mostly fluff, not much angst if any at all
(10) something happens that causes a rift between them… (I told you the angst wasn’t over! h has a tendency to ruin things, as previously mentioned, & make his own life more difficult than it has to be) all I can say about this one!
I’ll keep parts 11 & 12 a secret for now <3 — keep in mind that 12 will be the final official part of the series, once it’s posted I’ll take some blurb requests for them! until then, enjoy the series!
ivy series masterlist (link also contains the playlist & more photos!)
