Top Roommate's Jihoon, Haruto x Bottom Buff Male Reader Unprotected Sex, Creampei, Hickey, Threesome, Nipple Teasing, Nipple Play, Rough Sex, Slapping, Mocking, Spanking, Multiple Rounds, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Cum & Spit As A Lube, (We're A Condom)
Summary: y/n is a office worker that have manny unused room's, so he decided to rent it for a profit, just like that he's first roomate in he's condo, name korean and japanese men name Jihoon and Haruto, but y/n don't find the japanese guy name Haruto so he decided to find him and see him with Jihoon, it's ok but it's ok to y/n is using a adult toys in he's condo, but that moment he dreamed having with him, instead the onahole they used he's hole instead, just like that he's dream came true cause of moment, that he drunk with them and have a heat of moment.
{Jihoon, Haruto}
"Do you like y/n, feeling your hole instead our onahole used~" said Haruto the youngest of the two that penetratin your hole before he filled you with he's thick cum, while Jihoon the oldest of the two wanking he's cock ready to replace by Haruto the young japanese stud, but we're it's started we're you're being penetrated by a Korean and Japanese stud name Jihoon and Haruto, it's all started when y/n need to rent some room's in he's condo, after all he get's a loan in bank to buy he's condo, after all you're not burn biting golden or silver spoon on he's mouth, what it's means is you're don't born from rich family like fictional or real life. You're just 30 year's old office worker in a huge company in South Korea, luckily few days two men in their name Jihoon 25 year's old, and a Japanese almost one year before he's goes to celebrate he's 21st birthday name Haruto, both cute and hot in their own way and type of men, but unfortunately for him he can't taste them cause both are straight and Haruto is not 21 so he can go to jail of harassment a minor, so you forget the idea of taste them both, luckily both doesn't noticed that you're a gay for a buffman and a bottom in relationship and sex intercourse with your partner. But one day it's being changed when you knocked their room's in the morning, we're you're the first being awake than Jihoon and Haruto, at first you try Haruto's for their monthly rent and to eat their breakfast, but it's changed when you knocked Jihoon's room, where you see Haruto their doing slightly unpropriated for he's age even for 20 year's old, where both watching a straight porn and sharing a one onahole filling it with their hot thick cum. Both noticed you so they paused the video while you abandoned the onahole, that are filled with mix cum of Jihoon and Haruto's hot thick cum, while both walking naked and their cock still with their cum, you both see their hair pubes that are bushy to you, luckily you instantly not stairing them before noticed by Jihoon and Haruto that you stairing their pubes that are center of their big cock that are slightly big.
"It's their anything wrong?" said Jihoon that are now wearing a boxer's, while Haruto is puting he's boxer's cause both noticed that they're completely naked, sends them both embarrassed that after filling a onahole that they share penetratin it by their cock, but both doesn't know that both tempting y/n with their body, but after few months and the winter came, we're you finish your work in the office that you working, both are go to a restaurant to drink a few bottles of Soju. At first you hesitate's but both are not stopping that you finally said yesss, and you we're have a one night stand with them, both sends disgust after that night with you, sending you sad that both just act like you're a ghost that they can walk line that, and person that they pay rent for monthly using your some spare room to your condo, it's almost a year of Jihoon and Haruto doing it you, but one day when they said drink a Soju just like before. At first you're happily you can't talk to them both finally for long time of you being ignored by them last time, but they put some drugged to your drink that you doesn't noticed, and being fucked by Haruto rough like onahole that they share by Ji-hoon while watching a straight porn, when first knocked them and see's them filled the onahole with their thick cum, and just like that you're the replacement of their onahole that they used your hole and filled it with their hot thick cum. The first one that filled your hole with he's cock is Jihoon, while Haruto is the young one is feeling your mouth, both just in their mind is to use you like a onahole that they shared while watching straight porn, that's the on their minds only using as a cums dumpster, that you tough both Jihoon and Haruto is not use you as a replacement to their cums dumpster, that you Jihoon touched your g-spot almost everytime Jihoon penetratin your hole with cock, that your cock is twitching from pleasure of Jihoon's cock touching your prostate non-stop, sending it twitching nonstop from Jihoon's that you like to moan but young one Haruto cock is feeling it.
That it's it's almost a hour of non-stop penetratin your hole and mouth with their cock, that both cummed deep inside your mouth and hole with their hot thick cum, that Jihoon just rest from feeling your hole with he's cum, that when Jihoon removed he's cock he's being easily replace by Haruto that filled your mouth he's cum, and he's penetratin your hole rougher than Jihoon that last filled with he's cum, luckily it's a lubricant to you to avoid from pain from he's rough fucking session with him. "Do you like it y/n, feeling your hole instead our onahole" said Haruto the youngest of the two that penetratin your hole before filled you with he's thick cum, while Jihoon the oldest of the two wanking he's cock ready to replace by Haruto the young japanese stud, but we're it's started we're you're being penetrated by a Korean and Japanese stud name Jihoon and Haruto while you're crying being used like a onahole, that you don't notice that Haruto is being cummed inside your hole with hot thick cum. While you're slightly slapped by Jihoon in your face, before he's spoke "yesss, do you like it being fucked by us, cause we will filled it nonstop~" said Jihoon before kissing you before Haruto grab's your mouth for a rough kiss, while Jihoon put some hickey to your neck down to your nipples, sending you moaning while you're being penetratin by Haruto with he's big cock, that he cummed deep inside your hole that you see just lust in he's eye's while feeling your hole with hot thick cum, that you feel almost bloated from their mix cum inside your hole, but still penetratin your hole with he's big cock. Sending you confused that Haruto is still penetratin your hole even after he filled your hole, "are you thinking we are satisfied of filling your hole with our hot thick cum, for our first sex session you bitch" "right we will use it like the onahole that being shared with Haruto~" said by Haruto and Jihoon, and just like that you're being penetratin non-stop with their non normal size cock and filled it with their hot thick cum, just like the way of filling the onahole that they used while watching a straight porn.
And now you're filled again by Jihoon with he's hot thick cum, that you don't noticed that Haruto gone after he filled your hole with he's thick creamy load, that when he's Hyung is filled your hole, that you cummed once only Haruto arrived while drinking some milk in carton, he's smug before spoke "we're not done yet" said Haruto you're being penetrated by he's finger's, sending you moaning from that your cock twitching from Jihoon's fingers, that you cummed after a few minutes of being fingered by Haruto, before he asked you eat he's cum that are mixed with Hyung's cum inside your hole, and that's the last time you remember before you feel asleep from sex session with Jihoon and Haruto. The next morning you awaken before Jihoon and Haruto, you both doesn't noticed that both are gone in Jihoon's bed we're you're doing make out with them, that when you're going to the bathroom, you don't noticed that both of them are showering together, but it's changed when both noticed that their cum is oozing non-stop from sex session last night. "Fuck, Hyung look that our personal onahole is throwing our cum" said Haruto to Jihoon, before Jihoon closed the knobs to turned of the shower, after that you're drink your own saliva and the reason is you're being definitely punished by Jihoon and Haruto with their cock again, it's showed when the japanese stud penetratin you with he's big cock, while you're sucking Jihoon's cock while both enjoyed doing threesome. "Y/n we go filled you again, with our big cock and filling your hole with our hot thick cum personal onahole" said Haruto the youngest of the three before he cummed nonstop to your hole, while Jihoon cummed deep inside your mouth filling it with hot creamy load, but both Jihoon and Haruto still not satisfied of punishing you of throwing out their cum with their permission, after all you become now their personal onahole/dumpster with their hot cum. And that's the reason of you're walking funny in the office, that you're teasing by your office mate's, that everyone doesn't know that two men that rent your two rooms is the reason, it's just you became their personal dumpster/onahole, that replaced their onahole that use when you see after knocking the door of Jihoon. But it's being changed when both asked for a Polygamy relationship with you, that you happily agreed that the two former men that you just like for their body, and use as a their personal onahole/dumpster became their personal boyfriend, that both straight that almost killed you is now is having a relationship to you, that you're sleeping happily after romance with your boyfriend Jihoon and Haruto.
Up next Tight All The Way 🔞🧦 Top Mj, Jinjin x Bottom Male Reader Unprotected Sex, Creampei
HIIIII i'm coming back again to request bcos i really REALLY missed reading treasure fics hehe (your blog is one of my faves btw! ♡)
anyways, i just had this idea for a scenario when i saw 0104's pics on han river recently!! can i request a haruto scenario wherein you are hanging out with the 0104 guys (OR MAYBE EVEN T5) and bf!haruto just kinda got a little jealous when you give him no attention because jeongwoo/junghwan just entertains you so much and you give them all the attention becayse they're like dongsaengs to you??? TT
their bond really makes me cry they truly are the cutest <3 ANYWAY no pressure on this!! stay safe!!!!!!
♡ I’M NOT JEALOUS! — WATANABE HARUTO
bf!haruto x fem!reader | wc : 0.7k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, established relationship, fluff, mild angst, playful teasing, jealousy | loki's lines : this one was long overdue, i'm sorry 😭
“jealous? me? pfft. never. what would i be jealous about?”
watanabe haruto shook his head as you raised your brows, challenging him to confess his true feelings.
while you were at the han river, you tried teaching jeongwoo how to ride a bike, since the younger had confided in you, letting you know he didn’t know how.
but your biking lessons seemed to be disturbed by your boyfriend, haruto.
the raven-haired male was stuck to your side like glue, making it impossible to teach his best friend.
“ruto, seriously. get it together.” you smiled, amused by his behavior. “i was just teaching him how to ride a bike. why are you being jealous?”
“shut up, i’m not jealous!”
“oh, you’re so jealous.”
haruto frowned. “am not!” he shook his head. “i’m not jealous; i’m being absolutely reasonable,” he explained, making you burst into a fit of giggles.
“no, you are not!” you laughed, shaking your head. “this isn't reasonable at all.”
“stop laughing!” haruto whined, brows furrowed in annoyance. “so what if i'm jealous? what then, huh?!”
you smiled. “really, ruto? are you jealous? of jeongwoo? seriously?” you asked, your voice was quiet as you spoke.
“maybe i am a little jealous, okay? honestly, though, who wouldn’t be?”
“jealousy doesn’t suit you, my love. don't fret your pretty head over all this.”
haruto sighed, covering his face in embarrassment as he thought over the situation he got himself into.
he never meant to get jealous like this. he knew you were just helping jeongwoo, but he couldn't help the way he felt.
haruto trusted you both, but when you took this much care of jeongwoo, haruto couldn't help but feel jealous of the attention his best friend received from you.
“gosh, i never would have thought i’d ever be jealous about things like this,” he grumbled under his breath, shaking his head. “you must think i’m stupid, huh?”
you nodded, giggling at the way your boyfriend’s face fell. “you are stupid. stupid, because i can’t believe you don’t know how much i love you.” you smiled widely.
“really? you mean that?” he asked, confused.
“hey, look at me.” you held his face in your hands. “i’m yours, and no one can change that, okay? i love you, not anyone else. you.”
“i love you, y/n.” haruto smiled, leaning closer as he placed his lips against yours. “thank you for making me feel better.”
before you could respond, jeongwoo’s voice grabbed the attention of you two, and you turned towards him as you watched him ride his bicycle around in circles.
“look, y/n! ruto!” he yelled, excited. “i’m riding a bike!”
the two of you exchanged proud looks, excitedly cheering in unison as you watched the younger male do his first solo bike ride.
jaehyuk and asahi watched you all from the sides, glad you two talked it out and everything was back to normal.
they were worried when you dragged haruto to the side, having noted the male’s odd behavior, but seeing you two in big smiles assured them everything was fine.
“i never knew haruto was the jealous type,” jaehyuk admitted, amused. “that too, jealous of jeongwoo.”
asahi shrugged. “eh, there are days where you crave more affection than the rest. today was one of those days for haruto,” he explained.
“i’m glad they sorted it out, though.”
“yeah, me too.”
jeongwoo biked towards the couple, beaming as he looked at you. “y/n, you wanna race? i think i can beat you,” he challenged, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
“oh, like heck you can! i literally taught you how to ride a bike.” you scoffed, grabbing your bike and sitting on it. “you think you can outdo the master?!”
“i don’t think i can beat you. i know i can!”
“you are so on, park jeongwoo!”
haruto stared between the two of you, shaking his head with a smile. “now, what happened to the conversation we were just having?” he asked, pretending to be upset.
you bit back a smile. “woo is like my brother, ruto. you are my boyfriend.” you shrugged. “bros before hoes, dude!” you announced, pedaling away with jeongwoo as fast as you could.
watanabe haruto stood in his spot, shell-shocked, as he watched his girlfriend and best friend laugh at his expressions. he placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head as he looked at them.
“this is outrageous, y/n! i demand more attention! you said you love me!”
cw: established relationship, some fluff, cheating, angst, mentions of xg's cocona, cursing, idk lemme know if i missed something
a/n: been down in the dumps lately so i decided to write my very first angst fic for this account! btw i love cocona so don't come for me. i just used her cause she and haruto both trained at avex
wc: 1.1k
you and haruto have been dating for the past 2 years and you loved each other.
he always gave you forehead and crown kisses, played video games with you, cooked for you, slept in the same bed as you, bought you many gifts, sent you selfies of himself when he's away, made songs for you and so much more.
you especially loved when he's tired and cuddles you, his face tucked under your chin as you play with his hair and he snores softly.
but as of late, he's been so busy: never coming home until 2 or 3 in the morning, never paying you any attention, his texts became less frequent, hell you even stopped sleeping together.
most nights when he came home late, he'd sleep with his back turned to you and other nights, he'd be passed out on the couch.
how could you cherish each other when it seems like he doesn't even wanna be around you?
you stayed up one night, waiting for him to come home. the cartoons on tv was getting blurry as hours passed by and you felt sleepy. you checked the time which read 7:03 am.
7 in the morning and he's still not home. you began to get worried as he's never stayed out for this long.
yawning, you grabbed your phone and dialed his number. after a couple rings, it goes to voicemail. you try again but he still doesn't answer the phone.
you try one last time, but it goes straight to voicemail. you scoff, lying down on the couch with a snorlax plush against your chest. you pretended that snorlax was your boyfriend, holding it close and falling asleep.
an hour later, haruto sneaks in, carefully and quietly closing the door. he takes off his shoes, going into the kitchen and opening the fridge to open a coke.
you hear the can opening and the drink fizzing up, waking up from your slumber and rubbing your eyes to properly wake you up.
"haru?", you groaned
he was surprised to hear your voice so closely as he thought you were upstairs sleeping.
"is that you, haru?"
he sighs, "yes, now go back to sleep"
you groan, "sleep with me haru"
he sips more of his soda, heading to the stairs, "later, go to sleep"
you hear his heavy footsteps descending, your eyes feeling heavy and wet with tears.
why was he acting like this? did he not love you anymore?
you grab snorlax, holding it for comfort and head upstairs, treading softly as haruto begins changing out of his clothes.
the light coming from your shared room was the only light in the house as the sun was slowly rising. you walk into the room, haruto's back to you as he pulled his shirt off, and that's when it all makes sense as to why he was out all the time and never taking the time out of his day to spend with you.
because he was spending it with someone else.
you notice scratch marks on his back and some faint love bites on his neck.
your eyes well up with tears, holding snorlax closer to you.
haruto grabbed his shirt, turning around and buttoning it up before his head lifts up and notices you standing there.
you see more love bites on his chest and neck, tears falling from your eyes and down your cheeks, and he notices.
"[name]... i can explain"
"explain what?!", you snap, "explain why you're cheating on me?!"
"it's not what it looks like-"
"really?! 'cause it looks like to me that you found somebody else"
"baby-"
"don't call me that!", you walk backwards, "don't you ever call me that again"
you walk out of the room, sobbing into your plush and heading for the bathroom for some comfort.
how could he do this to you? a year of doing nothing but being a good partner and loving him unconditionally and this is how he repays you. whoever is keeping him occupied can keep him as a whole because there's no way he's coming back into your life.
haruto knocked on the bathroom door, "ba- [name]? can we talk about this?"
you don't answer him, just folding your knees into your chest and staring at snorlax.
"baby... i'm sorry, okay? i just-"
"how long has this been going on?"
he sighed, pressing his forehead against the door, "3 months..."
more tears fall and you cover your mouth, muffling the sounds of your crying.
"[name], please... let me explain"
"what is there to explain? if it was just once, i would let you explain how it happened but it's been 3 months!"
"she was my childhood friend, okay?!", he yells before taking a deep breath, "i never meant for this to continue but, she kept roping me in and-"
"and you couldn't not think for yourself for once"
"don't say that"
you scoff, "don't say what?! the truth?!"
"haruto, for the past 3 months, i've been feeling you distance yourself and i couldn't think of a reason why. but now that i know... i don't know if i even wanna be with you anymore"
haruto sat down, his head against the wooden door.
"can i at least know why?"
"why did you do this to me, to us ruto?"
he bit on his bottom lip, trying to come up with an excuse but he couldn't.
"i didn't think we'd last this long", he mumbles
"what?! you didn't think we'd last so you go and cheat?!"
"no! i-", he stops himself, sighing.
he puts his hands on his head, "i saw how close you and junghwan were getting so i thought you were gonna leave me for him. i was sad and angry and kokona was right there so i retaliated"
"i swear it was just gonna be that one time but, every time i seen you with him, i felt worse and worse. and kokona, she made me feel better"
haruto explaining himself had you silently crying all over again.
"so instead of coming to me with your concerns", you begin, "you go behind my back and do something like this? did you ever think about how this would effect me?"
"of course i did, but i thought-"
"stop thinking haruto! because when did that ever do you any fucking good?!"
he understood your anger so he took every shout.
"i changed everything about myself so i could fit in with your lifestyle-"
"i never asked for that"
"you didn't have to! i did it so you wouldn't feel ashamed to be with me!"
"i gave you my everything and what did i get in return? fucking cheated on", you huff.
you were hurt, and rightfully so. haruto has been lying to and hiding from you.
you two sat there in silence for hours, you stuck in your head and haruto waiting for a word to be said.
"haruto?"
"yeah baby?"
"i don't wanna be with you anymore"
and there it was. the 7 words he hoped you would never say.
( a/n: i deleted the first part and decided to just put part one and two in a whole part so it's more convenient. i also apologize to the five people that liked this so hopefully you'll see it again for the second part! thank you for your patience and let us get on with it <3333 )
[ TW: cursing, light manipulation, cigarettes, constant switch of emotions in a span of a few minutes and angst. ( unedited ) ]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[ you as haruto's rockstar girlfriend. ]
you were the rockstar's girlfriend and boy did you love being one. you had everything you could ever want, fame, money, clothes and love.
each night you partied, you saw so many girls and guys that wanted to be with him but remembered that each night, he would come home to you, no one else. it made you feel secure about your relationship, maybe you should've been more suspicious.
----
one night, you went home early from an after party with your boyfriend's band mates. you had work the next day and a meeting planned, it was a meeting about wether or not you would get promoted and you weren't about to miss the opportunity.
it was about 10:00 PM when you went to the bathroom to take a hot shower. you stripped of your clothes, slipping out of your dress and into the shower.
you turned the heat up and let the warm water run all over your body. you sighed as the little droplets tickled at your skin, goosebumps covering all of you.
----
once you were done with your shower, you changed clothes and started to brush through your damp hair. as you continued to brush, humming to yourself quietly, you dried your hair off once again before leaving. you had heard the door open, assuming it was your boyfriend, you ignored it.
walking to your bedroom, you held the doorknob and called out to him, "haruto?" to no answer. you narrowed your eyes, then furrowing your brows as you scanned the living room for him.
he was laying down on the sofa, smoking a cigarette. you got a bit pissed, you've told him before to stop smoking inside the house but of course he didn't listen.
you took the cigarette out of his hand, put it out and threw it in the trash bin, crossing your arms as you looked at his annoyed expression.
"what?" you asked sternly, raising your eyebrow at him but his face didn't change, instead he took the tv remote and ignored you completely.
"hey! aren't you even gonna apologize?" you question, taking the remote as well, crossing your arms once again, now tapping your foot impatiently at him. he stood up and groaned, facing you.
"for what?" you grimace at his answer. he wasn't usually like this, what the fuck was even happening right now? you think as you stare him up and down. nothing really changed except- your eyes stop on a spot on his shirt as your whole body froze up in place.
"ruto, what the fuck is this?" you say, aggressively pulling him closer by his collar making him slightly wince. you stare at the lip imprint on his shirt, your body turning cold as you waited for his answer.
he made you let go of him as he nonchalantly sat back down on the sofa. "it's nothing." he answered you blankly, resting his face on his elbow, staring at the black tv.
your immediate choice was to close up and cry but no, you weren't about to let him have the satisfaction of seeing you cry, no, never. you left the room, his eyes following you into your bedroom as you slammed the door shut.
panic started to rise in his stomach as he gulped, realizing what he had done. while he was having a fun time panicking outside, you calmly started to pack his suitcase, gently throwing everything he would need for a few weeks at it.
he started to knock on the door, first gently before he banged on it as if his fist was going to bleed. it probably was but who were you to care? a little blood isn't worth the fuckton rush of emotions you were feeling at the moment.
you could hear him becoming desperate as he screamed out your name. "y/n? open this door! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR Y/N!" he shouted, violently banging at the door repeatedly.
you turn the lock as you saw his fist in the air, about to bang again. you blanky look at him and threw his closed suitcase out, it laying lifeless on the floor beside him.
"get out." you tell him, anger overtaking you as you saw his face. you couldn't even fucking look at him anymore without feeling heaps of anger.
your heart palpitated in your chest, the beat reminding you of the speed of a F1 car as beads of sweat collected on your forehead, few falling down your face.
he stared at you in shock, looking back at the suitcase then at you. you kept your composure, staying as calm as possible as you glared at him, his guiltful eyes meeting your dead ones.
"please......." he pleaded once more, his eyes glassy.
"it's over ruto, you cheated on me and i can't forgive you for that. i told you everything and for you to make the same mistake as my father! i fucking hate you!" you shouted at him, not being able to control your emotions any longer as you dropped in front of him, pulling at your hair as the tears fell.
he tried to come closer to you, to hug you but you moved farther away from him, far enough for your back to hit the frame of the bed. he was in a state of sadness as he watched you move away from him, the most emotion he's shown you ever since you started dating.
tears pricked at his eyes but he held back in, he had to be strong. one of you were already crying, he didn't want to be the second one. he promised he'd always be there to comfort you, to be concerned but he also promised to love you and only you, maybe he can break another promise.
"baby, please don't cry. please, i'm sorry." he pleaded, his hands clasped to one another as he kneeled down in front of you. you shook your head as you looked down at your knees, you couldn't believe he would do this to you, after everything you've been through together.
"i was there for you through everything, i supported you when no one did and i loved you when everyone left and this is how you repay me? fuck you." you scoff at him through tears, some of them already drying out.
he came closer to you as you slowly stood up, your tears beginning to disappear from your eyes. you bawled up your fist in anger, digging your nails into it. he hugged you as your body stood stiffly, staying still at the affectionate gesture.
"leave. fucking leave, you're a pathetic excuse of a boyfriend." you spat at him, your face emotionless as he scoffed at you. his emotions changed again as he pulled away quickly and walked to the door. he held the doorknob in his arm, ready to slam when he started to talk.
he glared at you then said "if you want me gone so bad, i'll leave but don't come back to me when you find out no one else will love you like i do." he told you, a small smirk on his face as he slammed the door, making you slightly flinch.
how? what? why? a million questions flew through your head as you began to process what just happened. was he bipolar? why did his emotions change so suddenly? you thought to yourself as you analyzed everything that occured.
----
you had fallen into a state close to depression with what you were feeling at the moment. you cluched your stuffed bunny to your chest as you cried into it, loud sobs coming from you as you did.
you hadn't eaten in two days and you were physically bound to your bed. you showered, yes but that was all you did, you had taken a week off of work and even missed that damn meeting you were supposed to go to.
after ignoring the millions of messages and notifications on your phone, you finally decide to pick it up again. you called your closest friend, telling her everything and crying to her, asking what you should do.
she listened attentively, giving her best advice but was rudely interrupted by your doorbell. probably him coming to apologize, hopefully.
you crawled out of bed, feeling your legs still a bit numb, how long did you lay on that bed? you question yourself as you walk to the door. you opened the door and saw a little bag in the front, it was from yours and ruto's favorite restaurant. actually, it was your favorite but he told you because it was yours, he would love it too.
you smile to yourself as you pick up the bag, remembering your second date there.
[ flashback: "are you having fun?" he asked you, his hand resting on yours as he gazed up at you in admiration. you looked up and saw his expression, your face immediately turning red as you fumbled over your words.
"um y-yes! i am, sorry i-" you started but he interrupted you, holding up your hand with his other, keeping it trapped between both his hands.
"you don't need to apologize." he said bluntly, smiling up at you sweetly. despite his sharp tone, he still managed to be as sweet as ever.
"uh thank you, you should order the lobster!" you reply, switching topics as you felt the sweat in your hands collecting. distracted, he picked up the menu and let go of your hands, relieving you as you sighed.
"is something wrong?" you shook your head repeatedly, how did he hear such a quiet sigh?...... ]
you went inside, placing the bag on your counter as you picked up your phone again. your friend rambled on about what you should do, how you shouldn't be sulking and whatnot, you were to busy focusing on the bag of food on the table.
"hey, you okay?" your friend asked, noticing your sudden smile to which you shook your head to, pursing your lips instead. she narrowed her eyes suspiciously but ignored it, continuing her break up speech.
you opened the bag, not knowing what to expect. a note. you picked it up and read it, the small size barely even comparing to your palms.
'you should eat dinner, i know you haven't yet.' was all it read. a small tint of red crept up to your cheeks as you took out the food containers from the paper bag, opening each one up.
there was steak, mashed potatoes and lobster..... your heart ached as you saw it. you opened up the container, taking a nearby fork and poking at the food. you began to eat as your friend came to the end of her speech.
"do you understand?" she asked you, bringing you back to reality. her boyfriend suddenly called her and she told you she had to leave, thank god, you barely understood what she said.
she ended the call but not before telling you to take care of yourself, she was always so kind. you started to think about what to do about the food, should you send a text? should you send food back? and eventually opting to send food back.
----
you laid in bed, restlessly watching your comfort show, surrounded in blankets and plush toys. you hugged your bunny as you watched the scene in front of you, the scene he always used to burst out laughing at. you smiled to yourself, looking beside you as the memory replayed, it was as if he actually was there.
----
the door had opened, you didn't even care anymore. you just wanted himt come home, you wished desperately for it to be him, ready to apologize once again for everything and explain why he did it all.
cautious footsteps approached closer as you laid in bed, pretending to be asleep. the door creaked open as he started to come up to your side of the bed, bending down to face you.
his thumb rested on your cheek as he caressed it, a gentle kiss landing on your forehead after. "i'm sorry y/n, i didn't mean to do all that. i miss you so much, everywhere i look, i see you and it's driving me insane." he spoke softly, his hand never leaving you, now running it through your hair.
"i love you so much sweetheart. i hope you never forget that." were his final words before he took his hand from your hair. you found yourself catching his wrist and hugging him tightly, burying your face in the crook of his neck.
"i love you more, hopefully you'll remember that." you giggle, pulling away, smiling at him. his eyes looked so gentle and loving, it reminded you of the man you fell in love with.
"of course i will, i promise to." he told you, tucking a strand of hair behind you ear. he hugged you once more, not letting go until he feels as though he's made up for all the hugs he's lost.
GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol
WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?
SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.
PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth
WORD COUNT ▸ 9626
UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team
A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.
A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.
You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.
When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.
What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.
Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.
But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”
“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.
“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”
Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”
Haruto nodded.
“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.
In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.
Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.
You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.
“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.
“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.
“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”
You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”
Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”
“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”
“Oh, I see.”
Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.
“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.
“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.
You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.
“Awesome.”
After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”
“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.
“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”
Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?
“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.
“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.
“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.
Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.
“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”
“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”
“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.
“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”
You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”
“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.
You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.
“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”
“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”
“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.
“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”
“How do you know?”
“She told me.”
“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”
“Well, I told her a secret as well.”
You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.
“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.
“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”
“You don’t have any guy friends?”
“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”
You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”
“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”
“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”
“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”
You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.
“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.
“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.
“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.
“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”
“You should consider transferring to my school?”
Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”
Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”
“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”
“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”
“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.
“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.
“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”
“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”
“Good night Y/N.”
The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.
The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’
The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.
“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”
“Uh, about that. Well, no.”
“No? What do you mean no?”
“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”
“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”
“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”
“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”
Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”
Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”
“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.
“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”
“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”
“It was her. Y/N.”
“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”
“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”
“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”
“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”
“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”
“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”
“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”
“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.
A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.
Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.
You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”
“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”
“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”
“Do you...remember my name?”
You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”
Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”
“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.
Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?
You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?
“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.
If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”
“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”
“Do you have a minute?”
“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”
Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”
“Still…”
“Is your manager even here right now?”
“No.”
“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”
You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”
You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.
“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.
You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”
“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”
Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”
“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”
You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”
You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.
“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”
“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.
“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”
You didn’t remember. “Right.”
Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”
Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”
“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”
“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.
“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”
You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.
Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?
You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’
Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.
The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”
“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”
“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”
“You mean like a diary?”
Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”
“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”
“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”
“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”
“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”
Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”
Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”
“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”
Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”
Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.
Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?
“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”
Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”
“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”
“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”
“Can’t you say something to him?”
“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”
“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”
Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”
“Haruto!”
“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.
Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.
“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”
Haruto beamed and nodded.
“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.
Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.
Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?
Haruto: Yes, I just finished
Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?
Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?
Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.
Haruto: Junkyu?
Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.
Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.
Mashiho: Np.
Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”
“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.
The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”
Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”
“Ruto! How were tryouts?”
“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”
“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”
“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”
“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”
“Eh?”
“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”
“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”
“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”
“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.
“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”
“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”
“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”
“Damn. That’s insane.”
“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”
Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.
The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.
At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling alright coach.”
“Up for a few more hours?”
Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”
“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”
“Alright coach.”
Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”
“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”
“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”
“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”
Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”
Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”
The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.
“You need to quash that habit.”
“Yeah yeah.”
At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.
“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.
“It was intense.”
“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”
“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”
“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”
Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”
“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”
There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.
“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”
The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.
“What are you doing here Y/N?”
“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.
“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”
Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”
But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”
That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.
“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.
“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.
Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.
You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”
You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.
“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.
Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”
Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?
On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?
Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.
“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”
Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”
Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”
“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”
“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”
“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”
Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”
“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”
“Hanbyul.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”
“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”
On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.
It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”
It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.
“Dude what the hell is your problem?”
“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”
Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”
Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.
When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.
Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.
A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”
“Me? Anything unhealthy.”
You whacked him on the arm for that.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”
A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”
You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”
Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”
“The grass is wet.”
“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”
“Okay.”
Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”
You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”
So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.
Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”
“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.
Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”
Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”
Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”
“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”
“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”
“Yeah I guess.”
“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.
“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”
“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.
“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”
Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”
Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.
But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.
And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.
This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.
Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”
An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”
“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”
“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”
“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”
You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.
“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”
You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.
“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.
“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”
“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”
“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”
Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.
“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.
“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”
“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.
“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”
Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”
Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.
“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”
“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”
“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”
“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”
“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”
“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.
“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.
Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.
“I understand, doctor.”
The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.
Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?
Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”
“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.
Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.
It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.
Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.
Y/N,
If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.
By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.
I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.
Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.
It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.
If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.
Love,
Haruto Watanabe
You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.
You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?
These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.
Content Warnings: Long distance-ish au; established relationship; pining; mentions of crying; use of the words "Baby," "pumpkin," "angel" and "princess"
Part of: Mellow's You've Got A Letter Event
Mellow speaks: This is for my super lovely angel, Kari!!!! Thank you so much for being so so so nice to me love, and it really was a pleasure writing this for you. I know the Mashidam hiatus has hit you hard, so I hope this acts as somewhat of a relief to the heartbreak. I love you, do enjoy!
Also, I decided to go with Mashiho since he's actually away from Korea for the time being, while Yedam hasn't actually gone anywhere and so missing Y/N wouldn't make much sense lol.
I know. You're probably thinking, "That's what I should be asking you, Mashi," while shaking your head, right? But that's okay, because it's what you ask me every single time we talk anyway. And that's why I figured that the least I can do is ask you the same, for once.
I hope you're doing good, and I hope you're taking care of yourself and eating and sleeping on time even without me forcing you to. I mean, yeah, I do call you up during mealtimes and at night just to remind you to do the bare minimum for yourself, but it's not the same as grabbing your arm or lifting you off your feet just to carry you to the dining table or the bed, you know?
Oh and, how are your classes going? Please don't say, "They're being a pain" again, because that's what your probably told me the last time I asked you on FaceTime. I know they're a pain, but it's a pain that you're very much capable of bearing, because you're my fighter baby, right? I just hope you're doing your work consistently and not overworking your cute little body too much. Even if something seems hard the first time you read it, I want you to step back and give it a rest for a while, instead of working yourself till you burn out.
And now, you better not go all "Aww you care so much!" on me, because both of us know how you care just as much when I'm practicing too hard and not resting.
I'm doing well here too, helping mum and dad around in the house and playing with Kotetsu in my free time. I'm regularly working out too, just so I can still be hot when you see me again. But don't you worry my angel, because I'm still taking things easy so as to not strain my body too much, even when I'm dancing.
Wow.....writing a letter is so much harder than I had thought. But I guess it can't be helped since most of the things I'm telling you, I tell you every day anyway. But it's just that....there's still something I haven't said much on call or on FaceTime, because I was shy of seeing or hearing your reaction. And that's why I decided to send you a letter in the first place, so I can show you what's going on inside my head without being shy.
So, the thing is....I just miss you so much. This is the first time we've been away for so long, and I'm not liking it one bit. Being with my family is great, it really is. But that doesn't mean I've completely forgotten about life in Seoul, about the members and most importantly, about you. It's just not the same without your form sitting on the counter while I cook something for you, and it's not same without having you lean into my shoulder whenever you feel some extra love for me.
I miss going on dates with you, and I miss sneaking out late at night just to see the surprised look on your face. I really needed this break, heaven knows I did. But I just wish you could be here with me right now. I need to hold you in my arms so bad, and I need to kiss you and call you all the pet names that you know I cringe at. I want to feel your hands running through my hair, and I want to feel your heart beating against mine.
It's been less than a month and I already miss you so much it's not even funny anymore. I know I'm supposed to be resting, but then again, how I am I supposed to do that when all I can think about is you? I don't want to hurt you by saying this, but I think you deserve to know of all the tears I've shed because of how lonely I feel without having your laughter ringing right next to me.
Miss, want, need. None of these words is enough to describe what I've been feeling these days, it's like a void in my heart that will only be filled when you're in my arms. I know we can't possibly meet any time soon, and I know it's selfish to even think like this. And yet, I can't help but wonder what it would be life if you could come here to Mie, even if it's just just 2 days.
Gosh, I'm actually crying while writing this, so please don't mind if some of the words get smudged off. I'm crying so hard right now, and still, all I'm wishing is that you won't cry while you read it.
I'm sorry for this princess, I really am. But being without you is getting under my skin now, and I just had to let you know.
Hi Is it possible to request a haruto or doyoung scenario where they comfort you after a bad day :) thank you~
hello hello~ of course it's possible!! i hope you're doing well - take care of yourself, okay? thank you for this request; i definitely wrote it for myself as much as i did for you 💗
3:56pm
Warnings: angst, food mentions
Pairing: Haruto x gn reader
song i listened to while writing: bell's palsy by suggi (warning: it's a sad song!!) and Let iT Go by Bobby (highly recommend this as a healing song)
using this gif because it made me :D i hope it doesnt scare anyone!! i hope Haruto's smile makes you happy too :")
"I have the goods!" Haruto cheers, holding up a bag of snacks.
His cheerful state quickly dissipates as he notices the you: leaning against the wall and hugging your knees to your chest.
You hear the plastic bag rustle as it drops to the ground, leaving his hand, and Haruto slowly approaches you.
"[y/n]... is everything okay?" he asks, crouching down and placing a hand on your back.
You find it hard to raise your head and simply let out a groan in response.
"Has something happened?" he asks you, tilting his head to try to find your eyes, but you're still looking down at your own knees.
"No... I'm just... really sad," you croak. Though quietly spoken, your words leave you feeling lighter as they leave your mouth.
"Sad?" Haruto repeats.
He's a little unsure of what to do, but the first thing that comes to mind is for him to wrap his arms around your shoulders and place his head next to yours. Both of you are slightly uncomfortable, but it feels warm. Having your friend hug you while your heart aches feels warm, and it's as though a blanket has been placed around you.
You find yourself holding onto Haruto's arms and snuggling your face into them as he continues to hold you in this strange back hug.
"I don't know if something did happen and you don't want to tell me, or if you feel like you're sad for no reason, but I'm here for you now and that's what matters, okay?" Haruto mumbles, still holding you.
"Are you... okay?" you ask him, worried that he's tired of holding you.
He lets out a laugh and your ears tingle upon hearing the beautiful sound.
"Of course I'm okay."
"Do you still... want to watch a movie?"
"Only if you want to," Haruto replies.
"I think I'm okay with that," you say, finally raising your head as Haruto pulls away so he can help you stand up.
He scans your face with his eyes and the two of you share a smile.
"If you're ever sad, just know I'm here for you no matter what, okay? We can ride it out together," Haruto says, throwing you a wink before he walks towards the couch and falls down onto it, spreading out his arms while beaming from ear to ear.
His heart is broken because you're sad, but he does his best to smile in hopes that it will make you smile, too. And he's right. Seeing him happy lifts your spirits slightly, giving you enough energy to join him on the couch.
Maybe I can get through this, you think to yourself. You look at Haruto, who gives you a nod as if he's agreeing with you.
Hello! May I request a Haruto angst where Y/n is a YG trainee and YG forced her to break up with Haruto and then they cross paths years later?
Hi! Sorry for the late response ;-; but here you go! (Also, I wasn’t sure if you wanted Haruto to be a YGA as well in this situation but since you said because y/n is a YG trainee and had to break up with him, I assumed that it’s because they wouldn’t let y/n date a debuted YGA) Hope you like it <3
(Requested, Haruto x y/n, Angst)
“You can’t be serious y/n,” Haruto said, clearly not satisfied with what you said to him.
“I’m not kidding Ruto...” you took a deep breath, your eyes obviously avoiding to look at him.
The both of you were at a secluded rooftop cafe where you both have always been to for your ‘dates’ since it was the best hideout for the both of you to meet up and spend time together.
You see, you and Haruto have been dating each other since for a couple of years now. When you first became a trainee, your relationship was definitely rocky after that but the both of you were strong enough to hold onto it because clearly, you both are deeply in love with each other.
Your date nights become less frequent, you hardly talk on the phone or chat with each other, but that was never the case. You both were fine with it all. As long as you both knew you had each other.
“What...” Haruto lets out a scoff, “This is absurd! I know that we’ve spent less time with each other but I also know that how we feel about each other isn’t the cause of this.”
You took a sip off your warm tea. Placing the cup down, you mustered your courage to look at your boyfriend in the eyes.
“Fine then. It wasn’t the cause. It’s not. You know...how much I love you, right?”
Haruto leaned in closer to you and spoke softly this time, “Then what is it? You know you can tell me, right?”
Hearing him speak to you that way, made you realise how saddening this was. You were putting up a tough show in front of him and yet right now, you just want to hug him and cry your eyes out. Because this isn’t what you wanted it to be for the both of you.
You swallowed the lump in your throat before saying, “They found out, Ruto. They found out about us. You know I can’t date you. Especially me being a new trainee there and you being one of their famously renowned artist. It...just doesn’t work that way,”
Haruto moved away from you, leaning back into his chair this time. He lets out a frustrated sigh.
You observed him. The pained look on his face, how much he’s dissatisfied at how he doesn’t have much say in this matter.
Haruto lets out another sigh, this time it was louder. “I told you didn’t I? I told you this many times, but you just had to do this, right? You just couldn’t wait, could you?!”
You scoffed. “What?! What exactly did you tell me, huh? How was I to know it would be like this?” you cried back at him.
You weren’t sure but you thought you could see Haruto’s eyes pooling with tears by now. He was hurt. He was truly hurt by this.
“I told you not to audition at my agency! I have been supporting your dreams of wanting to become an idol but I told you to stay away from YGE! You know they don’t allow their artists to date!”
You gasped out loud at what he said, “How could you say that?! We were already dating even before I got in as a trainee! You were literally dating someone even when you were already debuted!”
“And we were fine! We were fine....” this time, tears were already falling down Haruto’s cheeks.
Your grip on your chair tightened. You couldn’t take it.
When YGE told you to breakup with your boyfriend, Haruto, because they wouldn’t allow their trainees to date, you thought Haruto would simply understand why you had to do it. You thought it would be easy. But why does this hurt so bad?
“Y/n....y/n please, please don’t leave me, please. I love you. We can do this, I’ll talk to the management about us, I can fix this,” Haruto pleads, his tears still streaming down his beautiful face.
You shook your head. You knew that was impossible. There was no way their management would even agree of you both being together. They found out about you and Haruto and immediately you were told to break off your relationship with him. What makes him think that anything he said would change their minds??
But you wanted to achieve your dreams as well. And truthfully, being a YG trainee was already a strong step towards achieving your dreams. Why doesn’t Haruto understand that?
You got up from your seat and walked over to him who was sitting opposite you. You wrapped your arms around his sitting frame, giving him a back hug to comfort him.
“Please y/n...” Haruto said softly. His sadness was still heard from his voice.
You closed your eyes and apologised to him. “I’m sorry, Ruto...I love you, but this...this has to be the end of us.”
.2 years later.
“There she is! Ahh our shining star!” the host of the show said as he saw you entering the show’s set.
You smiled at him and bowed at the people around you, mostly towards the other guests of the show and the cameramen along with the PD crew there.
“Hello everyone! It’s me, the shining, charming y/n!” you greeted everyone there.
“Aigoo, you’re one bright kid, y/n! No wonder your fans love you so much!” the much older host said.
You simply smiled and nodded at what he said. This was your first time being on a renowned show since you debuted months ago and truthfully, since you’ve always been doing contents and shows that were smaller before, today you could feel your nerves racking.
“Oh wait, before we start with our show, we have another guest! Another YG artist too, y/n! You must’ve known him,” the host chuckled.
You smiled and looked at the host questioningly. Who was invited here aside from you? Blackpink? Ikon? Winner?
Your eyes widened when you saw him. How could you forget...about Treasure.
Haruto entered the set, smiling his handsome smile, waving at the cameras and bowing in respect towards all the elders there.
You felt your heart beat fast. How did the both of you end up as guests in the same show??
Haruto caught a glimpse of your eyes and he smiled timidly at you. You nodded briefly at him, trying to maintain composure for the sake of the show.
All the time throughout being a trainee, and even when you debuted, you had never interacted with him. Not once ever since the two of you broke up. You avoided him in the hallways, the gatherings, and it was all perfect.
But today? You weren’t so sure as to how to avoid him now.
The show began and all of you, including the rest of the guests starring in the show were seated side by side with one another.
And coincidentally, your seat was right beside Haruto’s.
Lucky for you, you were deeply concentrating on the show so you weren’t paying much attention on him.
Some time passed by and the host called for a commercial break, “Okay we’ll be right back after the break!”
You waved at the camera, waiting for the director to officially give you all the break.
“And, CUT! Perfect! Good job everyone! 10 minutes break for everyone!”
You sighed in relief. You were so into the show that you had been very active in talking and responding to everyone in the room. Well, to everyone except for Haruto of course.
Your makeup artist approached you and you could also see Haruto’s attending to him as well.
“y/n, you’re sweating a lot today. be careful okay? We don’t want to accidentally smear your mascara,” your makeup artist advised you.
You nodded at her and let her dab the sweat off your skin.
It only took you 2-3 minutes to have you look all fresh again, thanks to your skillful makeup artist, and when she left, you realised that you were alone with Haruto, still sitting in your respective seats.
You looked down at your thighs, trying to act like you weren’t bothered with him being there beside you.
“Nervous?” you heard him say.
Your head turned to look at him.
His face was fully facing you right now. “You were really great out there, y/n,”
Your skin shivered. It’s been so long since you heard him call your name.
“I...uh, thanks,” you muttered quickly at him.
The both of you kept quiet right after that. No one else said anything until the show started again.
*
The show ended and everyone was thanking each other and talking further about how they enjoyed the show. You were doing the same too and when you were done, you headed towards your dressing room to go check on your phone, since you were pretty sure your group members were probably asking you about how your filming went.
You entered the empty room and saw your phone on the dressing table, laying with it’s screen face down.
You didn’t remember leaving it that way but whatever, you hurriedly took it and tried to key in your passcode.
But then you stopped.
You realised that the lockscreen on the phone wasn’t yours.
It was obvious it wasn’t yours because....the lockscreen was a picture of you.
You immediately placed the phone back down on the dresser. You backed away from the dresser and you felt your heart beating fast.
Whose phone was that? And why does that person has a picture of me as their lockscreen?? And what’s worst, it was a picture from when you were much younger, from when you first became a trainee at YG too!
“Y/n!” you heard your manager call out your name, which made you turn around.
“Yes, oppa?” you asked your manager, your voice a little shaky.
“Oh? What’s with you? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something,” your manager asked, worried about you.
You forced a laugh at him, “What? No way! I’m okay oppa. I just...uh, yeah, feeling tired that’s all,” you assured him.
“Okay...our van will be here soon, so make sure to gather all your stuff before we leave, okay?”
“Alright! Oh wait, oppa, have you seen my phone?”
“Your phone?”
“Yeah,”
“Oh, you gave it to me to hold while you were recording remember? Here it is,” he said as he pulled the phone out of his pocket and gave it to you.
“Oh, thanks,” you said laughing at how silly you were for forgetting.
“I’ll call you up when the van arrives yea? I need to go talk to the PD staff for a bit,” your manager said before he left.
You nodded at him briefly and got started at gathering your stuff to bring home.
And just then, you heard footsteps approaching inside the room as well.
You turned to see who it was and surely enough, it was Haruto.
Both of your eyes met and yet still, no one said anything.
Haruto walked towards the dresser and grabbed the phone that was on it.
He was about to leave but then he stopped to look at you again. He looked like he wanted to say something but then he shook his head and decided to just leave the room.
He probably doesn’t know it but your eyes were fixed on him. It had been two years but that feeling you had for him, it was rushing back to you.
You wanted to run to him, maybe talk to him more. It would be a horrible lie to say that you didn’t miss him at all. You felt it, the pain in your chest.
The both of you were in the same show, the same room, and yet you both couldn’t say anything to each other. Why?
And why does he have your picture saved as his lockscreen? Even after these years?
“Y/n, the van is here. Let’s head home,” your manager said at the door.
“Okay!” you said, trying to sound cheerful and unaffected by what you’re feeling at the moment.
You hurried out of the dressing room and at the corner of your eye, just outside the dressing room, you saw Haruto standing, leaning against the wall.
He was staring at the bracelet he was wearing. You could see his finger tracing the small, white charm on it.
“Y/n, the van is this way,” your manager called out to you, as he noticed you stopping in your tracks.
“Oh, right! I’m on my way!” you called out to him back.
You decided to take a last peek at Haruto and that’s when both your eyes met again.
You saw the look in his eyes.
The pained, sorrow look he had like the last time you both met at the rooftop cafe. The same pained look he had when you told him that you wanted to end your relationship with him back then.
You felt your eyes sting from the tears you were holding back. The memories came flowing back to you by now.
Feeling overwhelmed, you took a deep breath and ran outside towards your van outside.
As you entered the van, you leaned back against your seat and closed your eyes. You felt your chest beating in pain, your head heavy, and your eyes finally letting the tears overflow. Although your eyes were closed, you could feel your tears streaming down your face and chin.
It hurts. Why does it hurt this much? Was this how he felt when you broke off things? Why does it hurt this bad when it’s been over for years??
You opened your eyes and hurriedly searched for your purse in your handbag.
Pulling out the purse from the bag, you unzipped the coin compartment and there it was, still beautifully intact,
The similar white charmed, silver bracelet Haruto had gifted you years back.
