honestly, by being anti endo you are actively saying that you believe they exist. if they didn’t exist, you wouldn’t have to say that. you wouldn’t have to have an opinion on if they exist or not, and because you do, you’re admitting that you think they’re real.
we just had. the weirdest debate ever? on a video about someone being frustrated with lesbian exclusionists and queer exclusionists as a whole we commented that the lesboy hate was getting out of hand, and that it was upsetting to see, especially during pride month.
someone replied and said “i would love to but 9 times out of 10 it’s used to be homophobic to lesbians.”
i replied with “then block and move on? people don't need to make a big fuss over something that doesn't matter. i'm frustrated about it as a butch lesbian who just wants their label to be respected and accepted.”
they replied with “we should address the problem of homophobia with men pretending to be lesbians tho. butches are fine but when you're a full on man saying you're wlw, you really shouldn't be using "reclaimed" slurs”
imo this is already where it went off the rails. i said “i want to be accepted” and they replied with “but what about men” which was Not relevant. to this comment what so ever .
the debate continued with me replying to them with “i know this is controversial, but if a man genuinely feels and believes that he is a lesbian, he is one. sexuality and gender are fluid, and people are going to identify in a way you deem “wrong”.”
this person replied to that with “so a woman can identify as a gay man? or is it only “labels are flexible” when it comes to women’s labels?”
i replied with “no of course she can? the label turigirl exists for a reason? anyone can identify however they’d like to. that’s the point of what i just said”
personally. i don’t think it’s too crazy or ridiculous to say that. people are free to identify how they want, and rigid gender or sexuality “rules” isn’t going to change that.
their response to this is “woah omg you did not just say that. that’s so disrespectful to the victims of the aids crisis and ongoing victims of homophobia”
which. genuinely what. i have no idea how you would ever get to that conclusion.
i asked where that curveball came from, and they said “from your homophobia. it is a complete disregard of individuals who have been socially ostracized for their identities to say anyone can use any label no matter how they actually identify”
which is genuinely kind of crazy to me. because in my opinion and the opinion of a lot of my friends, my view on labels is completely understandable and reasonable?
in response, i said “you seem to be disregarding my own personal experience with homophobia. anyone can use whatever label they want, because that is how free will works. it's not homophobic to say that at all?” which, because of my experiences with homophobia (i have been hospitalized several times due to queer/trans violence) is a reasonable thing to say.
they send back “how would i know your personal experience first of all? and second of all it is homophobic to say that men can be wlw and women can be mlm when lesbians and gay men fought so hard during the aids crisis to not be seen as monsters.”
although i’m not quite sure how that is totally relevant, i think you’re making people who don’t identify the way you think they should as monsters, or “wrong”, which if i’m being honest sounds a bit like homophobia to me.
i then ask about listening their perspective in dms, to see if they’d let me try to understand why they think oppressive boxes have something to do with how you’re supposed to identify, but they said that “i have made my perspective very clear and backed it with research, like requested. if you are not able to understand this complex issue, that is your responsibility and not mine to educate yourself.”
which if i had to ask for a more detailed explanation, i don’t think they made it very clear, but i suppose we all can’t care about queer people.
i’m not sure how mentioning the aids crisis is the same thing as doing research against my point, but again, i don’t think they were very clear at explaining anything.
anyway, i’m posting this here to break the echo chamber of my friends all completely agreeing with me, to see if maybe i was just missing something or whatever
trying to get out of my partner’s arms at night is a truly humbling experience. they have a fucking iron grip, and not waking them up while trying to escape is the most terrifying experience known to man. i have no idea how they manage to do this
hey, my name is toby, and i’m the first cohost of our system. i’ll be one of the main interactors and users of this blog.
i use he/hxm pronouns, i’m a binary trans man, and i’m biromantic ace.
my favourite colours are orange, navy blue, brown, and gray. i like to draw, create, take pictures and play video games. some of my favourite things are hatchets, dogs, things relating to my source, and my partners.
out of our voheit or host trio, i hold the triforce of power.
my roles in our system are protector, axewielder, advocate, and limit breaker. i sometimes take on a more persecutor-y role, due to some of my personal history. i’m a ticci toby walk-in, and i’ve been here since late 2017. i put in a lot of effort to type “normally,” as i often shake and tic which makes my typing disjointed or hard to read.
my own personal tag is “hatcheted”, because i feel like it represents me, my source, and some of my interests.
