#hawk's rambles

[lilhawkeye3]

👀 send me an ask from a number 1-100 and a character and I’ll write a little ficlet for them based on what song it is in my spotify wrapped playlist!

[lilhawkeye3]

We need to talk about Captain Rex (CT-7567)

Alright everyone. I wanna start out by saying this is not an attack on Rex’s character or anyone who likes him as a character. This is merely meant to be educational and point out some concerns with trends in popular content. That said... I know I’m probably gonna get a lot of hate for this.

So. Captain Rex. Leader of the 501st, arguably one of the main characters of The Clone Wars series. So beloved, he even carried on into Rebels, and now The Mandalorian. And there’s one thing in specific about him that made him catch everyone’s eye— his blond hair.

(FYI: “Blond” is the masculine form. “Blonde” is the feminine form. Please don’t comment to say I spelled it wrong lmao.)

This was a big deal. They’re all supposed to be clones of Jango Fett, right? He’s got black hair. The clones we saw in the movies all had black hair. So here comes along the leader of Anakin’s battalion, the one we are most meant to follow and remember.

And this is where I introduce you to the “dark skinned blond” trope in media.

The dark skinned blond is... a bit complicated. As a whole, it is part of the larger issue of exoticism and fetishization of dark skinned characters. The white/blond hair allows them to stand out more, but also gives them a sense of Eurocentric features: thus, they have a sense of mysticism to the audience.

This can be best seen with the most well-known character that falls into this trope: Ororo Monroe aka Storm from X-Men. Her white hair sets her apart so much that the Africans in her village saw her as a goddess, and it was used as just another thing that set her apart from being normal (for context, she is a mutant).

Another time this is shown is with Princess Yue from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Here, her hair is shown to turn white when the literal moon spirit heals her as an ill newborn. The white hair is meant to show she is blessed, setting her apart from the other introduced water tribe characters and having the audience know she is someone to remember.

(Disclaimer: Yue and Storm can also be included in the ‘magical white hair’ trope, which can also include light skinned characters like Elsa from Frozen).

Most recently, another character in this trope is Usagiyama Rumi, aka the rabbit hero Miruko from My Hero Academy (Boku no Hero Academia). She is one of the top 5 heroes, thus someone important to remember, and... alongside Storm, is subject to a very large amount of fetishization in comparison to the other characters in their series. (This could be further exacerbated due to Miruko being one of the only dark skinned characters in the anime series as well).

A few other characters that fall into the dark-skinned blond trope are Aqualad and Artemis from Young Justice, Allura from Voltron, Agni in Black Butler, and even Butler in that awful new Artemis Fowl movie. It is all done in an effort to make them more ambiguous, more exotic, so you can’t really tell where they’re from but you’re sure to remember them.

[Image: Storm aka Ororo Monroe, Princess Yue, Miruko; Aqualad, Artemis, Allura, Butler. All have dark skin and varying shades of blond hair (white, platinum, yellow).]

So then we get to Captain Rex. Here we have this lead character we know nothing about at the start of the show, but he already stands out because he looks different, despite being a clone. It really doesn’t matter what the in-universe reason is for his blondness (I know people debate if it’s genetic mutation vs bleaching).

The point is this: his design is used to set him apart from the rest, to make him seem more exotic in comparison, and thus, make him the one the creators force the audience to remember.

Honestly... I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about this trope. For characters like Storm and Yue, at least there’s magic to explain it. At least you know it can’t be real. 

With characters more like Rex, who is meant to be normal (not magical)... it feels different. It felt like the creators-- specifically, the white creators-- thought he wouldn’t be good enough for the audience’s attention as a brown man unless there was something special about him. Something eye-catching. Exotic in comparison to the other clones.

It’s a strange feeling, because overall, it’s not something outwardly racist with the character development (like with Jar Jar Binks). This is far more subtle, so subtle that it’s hard to even fully verbalize. But it’s still there, and it’s a pattern, and it’s a bit worrisome, especially when concerning a character modeled off of a real person (Temuera Morrison’s appearance was not altered for his clone roles in the prequel trilogy, and Rex’s design came afterwards.).

I wish I had a conclusive ending to this mini-essay. I don’t really. There’s nothing that can be done about Rex or any of these characters’ appearances. Just... keep this in mind for the future. Often with visual media in particular, even how a character looks can influence your perception of them, often with years of history and reasoning behind it.

This has been Tea Time with Hawk. ☕️🦅Thanks for reading :)

Part 2 here.

Why I don’t think Rex’s hair is bleached.

[lilhawkeye3]

dead man walking

Character: Commander Fox.

Summary: Everything crumbles once Fives dies.

Trigger warnings: depression, suicide. It’s not happy.

A/N: please don’t read this if you’re having a bad day.

AO3 Link

~~~

~~

~

His heart may keep beating the first time he pulls the trigger, but his life ends then.

~~~~~

He can only remember flashes of what happened that day, little snippets of the moment his world finally crumbled. The shout of his brothers, the shaky words of a dying vod, the recoil of his blaster.

He can’t remember, but no one lets him forget.

~~~~~

It starts out small, at first. Murmurs and whispers from visiting battalions and the shiniest clones in the Guard.

Murderer.

Brother-killer.

It’s followed by cold looks, by orders followed to the bare minimum, by shoves and tripped-up feet as he walks in the halls.

He manages to take it all without flinching, until the day one brother sneers back at him and calls him CC-1010.

“You’ve no right to a name, to call yourself a vod, 1010.”

The words fall from the lips of a drunk 501st trooper the Guard had picked up for disorderly conduct. Fox leaves his cell without a word to inform Rex that he has a wayward trooper.

~~~~~

Rex finds him in his office. He signs a form to collect his man, and leaves Fox with a brutal right hook and cracked jaw.

Stone finds Fox hours later sitting with his head in his hands and his back against his desk, mumbling about how he deserved every bit of it.

~~~~~

It’s no surprise the Chancellor finds out.

His words, while sympathetic on the surface, leave oily trails in Fox’s mind. They find his cracks and fill them with poison, saying how sorry he is to hear of Fox’s recent difficulties, but neither side can be blamed. The troopers, who are such basic, animalistic creatures that they would attack one of their own, or Fox, for completing his sworn duty to defend the Republic.

Fox can only stand there and listen to it all—

~~~~~

He leaves the office with a hazy mind, not truly recalling the events of the meeting, but feeling more beaten down than before.

~~~~~

She is the only good thing in his life.

Riyo holds him protectively in her arms as he shakes under the weight of it all, despite her being much smaller.

She accepts him despite not knowing what’s wrong. He can’t spill all his burdens onto her. They’re his to bear, to continue to roll up this incline even if they slip from his fingers before he reaches the top. This is his punishment, not hers.

He’s failed her, even if she refuses to hear him say such a thing.

He shouldn’t be near her. Shouldn’t let her touch him. She’s so pure, so precious— he can’t let his sins taint her light.

She says she loves him, but he knows that’s not true. A thing like him isn’t something anyone can love.

He allows himself to kiss her forehead one last time before he leaves while she sleeps.

~~~~~

There is a call to 79’s to break up a fight on his patrol. When he and his squad arrive, it is to find the matter at hand was him. One of his Corries stood up for him, and it was all downhill from there.

Fox remains outside while his squad handles it. If he goes in, he knows he’ll only make things worse.

All he ever does is make things worse.

He looks up as an armored figure approaches him. He doesn’t have time to register anything about them, other than it’s unmistakably a fellow clone trooper, when their blaster is drawn and a searing pain shoots through his shoulder. He falls to his knees as the shot is followed by two more: one to his right hand and one to his left thigh.

He’s left on the cold ground.

~~~~~

He comes to in the medbay. He wishes he hadn’t.

What a waste of resources. It could have been used on someone else.

“You’re awake.”

He turns his head to find Wolffe sitting beside him. His face is unreadable, but his brown eye burns with fury.

Fox doesn’t say anything. He simply returns to staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Vod—”

“Don’t call me that.” His voice is raspy, unused. When is the last time he spoke to anyone outside of his shifts? “I’m not a brother. Not anymore.”

Wolffe is silent. Maybe he’ll leave him alone now.

“Who did this to you, Fox?”

His smile is like broken glass. “Didn’t you hear? I did, of course.”

“We both know you didn’t shoot yourself.”

“Not yet.”

Wolffe’s growl draws Fox’s gaze again. “That’s not karking funny, Fox.”

“You know what is funny?” Fox laughs brokenly. “That you’re here. Rex broke my jaw. Bly blocked all transmissions from me. Cody was in a conference call and didn’t once acknowledge me. Just said, ‘Commander of the Guard.’” His eyes are tired as he meets Wolffe’s. “Bet you’re here so you can tell them they still have a disappointment in the batch.”

Wolffe sighs as he runs a hand down his face. “Fox... I lost a battalion of men. All of them, except for two. I heard them cry out to me as they were slaughtered one by one in what should have been their saviors. I listened to them scream as they were murdered, as they listened and watched their brothers die around them.” Here he leans forward, his hand reaching up to clench Fox’s uninjured shoulder firmly. “I can hear your screams too, Fox’ika. I will not sit and do nothing as I listen to a brother dying. Not again.”

Fox flinched and tore his eyes away from his batchmate, finding a fixed point over his shoulder to stare at instead. “You’re too late.”

~~~~~

The Chancellor calls for him once he’s released.

Fox idly wonders how broken he truly is when he finds himself back in his office, not able to coherently remember if he ever made it to the meeting.

~~~~~

Only his fellow commanders in the Guard interact with him now outside of what is required for duties.

A part of him wonders why Stone keeps asking when he last ate. It doesn’t matter anyways.

He’s not sure why Thire counts the hours he’s been awake. At least in the waking world, he can bury himself in work. When asleep, he’s left to the mercies of his ghosts, the ones that whisper that his time is far overdue, that he’s only causing more problems being alive.

He knows they’re right. It’s only a matter of time, he supposes.

~~~~~

So he writes.

He’s never been one for writing, thanks to all the reports he’s had to draft, edit, review and sign off on. But... he’s a clone. He’ll have nothing left to his name anyways besides these words. It’s selfish, yes, but it’s all he has left.

So he writes.

He writes to Rex about all the memories he has of them whispering quietly at night on Kamino, dreaming about their lives when they finally got to see the stars. He wonders where it all went wrong— probably somewhere at the start. He tells him that he’s one of the best commanders out there, even if he never formally received the rank yet.

He writes to Bly, saying that while he isn’t worthy of love... Bly is. He shouldn’t let it slip through his fingers.

He writes to Cody, outlining the lack of memories he has about the Chancellor. How he thinks he’s investigated something, but can never remember what. Files mysteriously erasing. Men sent on missions that didn’t exist. His blaster— it should’ve been set to stun. He gives him one last mystery to solve, knowing Cody won’t accept any weak, mundane attempt of an apology.

He writes to Ponds, even though he’s long gone. It’ll go to his general, because Fox knows his brother still lives on in him. He asks if he’ll be forgiven, if there’s an after where they’re all waiting for him. He asks if they’d welcome him, even if he’s broken and can’t remember what he’s done anymore. He says he’s glad Ponds had a General who cared, because he was glad that his brothers were taken care of even if the universe punished him with the Chancellor’s oily words in return.

He writes to Stone and Thorn and Thire, and says he’s sorry he couldn’t help them. He tried to keep the weight off their backs as long as he could... and he now had to pay the price. He tells them he’s proud of them.

...He writes to Riyo, his starlight, the one who taught him of a different type of love. He says he’s sorry. He hopes she keeps shining bright for everyone around her to see. He tells her how every smile, every laugh, every crinkle of her eyes in happiness gave him something to keep living for, if only for a while. She’s the most precious thing in the world, and he’s sorry to have ever burdened her with his inconsequential self.

He writes to Wolffe.

Well, he stares at the datapad for countless minutes, and then he writes to Wolffe.

He gives Wolffe every bit of spark left within him. He gives him every happy memory, every trying moment, ever second of calm he’s ever had. He tells Wolffe how everything went wrong, how his mind had betrayed him just as he’d betrayed his brothers, how he didn’t know who he was anymore. He tells Wolffe of the reason behind each scar and tattoo on his body, how his hair had become peppered with gray, how he’d done his best to live up to the name Wolffe had given him.

He thanks Wolffe for being his vod. He tells him he’s proud, and to keep fighting.

~~~~~

When he’s finished, he sends his words out across the galaxy. Maybe one of them will read his final thoughts, and keep him alive in theirs, even if he doesn’t deserve it.

He sets the datapad on his desk and reaches for his blaster.

The cold durasteel against his temple is fitting, he feels. It matches the emptiness within him.

~~~~~

after.

[lilhawkeye3]

An Overdue Chat About Harry Potter

...because no fandom is safe from Tea Time with Hawk.☕️🦅

Oh boy. Harry Potter. Where do I even start? This is just a summary of the things I know/remember, so I apologize if I miss anything major. Warning: this is a long one.

•Described the only black female character’s hairstyle as “worms.”

Pansy Parkinson to Angelina Johnson in Order of the Phoenix: “Hey, Johnson, what’s with that hairstyle, anyway?” shrieked Pansy Parkinson from below. “Why would anyone want to look like they’ve got worms coming out of their head?”

•Had Seamus Finnegan, the explicitly stated Irish character always blowing things up due to his nature. (This is troublesome because it feeds into a stereotype influenced by bias against the IRA).

•Also had the Irish-coded Weasley family be: all ginger, lots of kids, and in poverty (partly due to them having so many kids). This also leads them to be Catholic-coded, as they are in the minority of how the rest of Wizarding Britain is presented.

This stereotype was so well known in Protestant UK that Monty Python even made a whole musical sketch making fun of it. (Context: Ireland is majority Catholic. The UK (England, Wales, Scotland, N. Ireland are majority Protestant.)

•Personally, as a BIPOC: I’m fine with JKR supporting a Black Hermione Granger being cast in the stage play, but she lied when she said she never described Hermione’s race... especially considering she went out of her way to describe the skin color of her non-white characters. Further, she described Hermione’s skin more than once.

Prisoner of Azkaban: “Hermione’s white face was sticking out from behind a tree.”

Half-Blood Prince, after Hermione got a black eye: “Hermione was sitting at the table in great agitation, while Mrs. Weasley tried to lessen her resemblance to half a panda.”

•Kingsley Shacklebolt is a mix between the “Magic Negro” and “noble savage” stereotypes. For those who don’t know, the noble savage is typically seen as an outsider who is untouched by corruption of ‘civilization’ or the society they find themselves a part of. The “Magic Negro” is a term coined by Spike Lee and refers to a Black character that has deep spiritual knowledge, enlightened and selfless, and of course, powerful-- but cannot save the day because... he’s not “fit” to be the protagonist. Kingsley is a Black man, portrayed to be African in the movies by his accent and dress (so doubly an outsider), who is part of the “noble and good” Order of the Phoenix, which fights against the corruption in Wizarding Britain. He is powerful, wise, and beloved enough that he becomes the first Minister post-war. 

And then this essentially happened again with Seraphina Picquery. Yeah.

@cobaltexpositor also pointed out that Kingsley’s name including “shackles” is also extremely tone deaf and they’re right.

•The Patronus is a blatant bastardization of the Native American belief of spirit animals. (Link is to a Native American blog post explaining spirit animals.)

Let’s not forget that time JKR rewrote Native American history to suit her needs and in the process belittled their spiritual beliefs, healing practices, and medicine... and also made them white saviors. And, y’know, used real cultures as props for her imperialistic, fictional history.

Oh yeah, and thunderbirds are sacred to some tribes/Nations, so fuck her.

•Nagini. Oh dear, was that some racist, misogynist content right there. Someone decided it’d be a good idea to have Voldemort’s pet snake, who he used as a soul vessel, start out as an Asian woman who is cursed into an animal form. A South Korean woman was really made into a white man’s pet. I... I have no words. It was so unnecessary and so incredibly racist.

And then JKR explained herself by saying she got the idea from Indonesian mythology, and that Indonesia includes “a few hundred ethnic groups including Javanese, Chinese and Betawi.” Except... the actress, Claudia Kim, is Korean. Which is easily Googleable. (And she’d also previously called Nagini Albanian. And Nagini is actually a spiritual Sanskrit name. Oh, how the list goes on....) So JKR is either stupid, or racist. At this point, I’m inclined to go with both. 

•Leta Lestrange is a tragic mulatta stereotype (”mulatto” is an old term for someone who is mixed white and Black. Please don’t call anyone this now. It’s racist). This caricature was prominent in 19th and 20th American century literature, where a mixed-race person was depicted as sad or suicidal because they didn’t fit into the white world or Black world. It was used to make slave characters more sympathetic to white readers. With Leta Lestrange... her white aristocrat father used a slave spell (Imperius) to kidnap and rape her Black mother. I cannot even begin to explain how fucking racist that is. She’s shown to be bullied at Hogwarts over being an unwanted child. And then on top of that, Leta dies to further the plot and emotional climax of the white male protagonist.

Y’all... I’m so livid about Leta Lestrange. It’s fucking disgusting. 

And then, some tea for the fandom:

•The Death Eaters are literally modeled after the KKK, so please stop saying the main conflict in Harry Potter is not an allegory for race. 

(I also don’t understand the fad with fans tattooing the Dark Mark permanently on your arm when there’s so much more positive symbolism from the series to choose from besides what’s essentially an Burning Cross tattoo, but... whatever.)

•And finally, many fans of a certain character need to hear this one: Severus Snape emotionally abused Neville Longbottom to the point that he was Neville’s greatest fear. He tortured a child under his care (plus used his teaching position to bully nearly a generation of students). That’s... so not okay.

Well. That was quite a bit longer than I expected. Feel free to add on anything I’ve missed.

[lilhawkeye3]

My profesora put in my exam grade as 56/100 last night so I thought I’d failed.

Yeah turns out it was out of 60 points. Not 100.🥳🥳🥳 aces

[lilhawkeye3]

n e wayz i got a new computer so we are back in business!

Paz or Boba, which do y’all want next? And a fic or fanart?

[lilhawkeye3]

Some random follow up thoughts about the Dark Skinned Blond trope...

A follow up to this post.

Last year. George RR Martin said that he wondered what the reaction would’ve been like if he’d made Daenerys Targaryen and the entire Targaryen family Black.

Personally... I’m glad he didn’t, especially after how his few other non-white characters were treated in his series. For starters... a white man writing about Black slavers who see themselves as superior to the rest of the world before one group conquers an entire kingdom of white people? That’d be pretty tone deaf.

Secondly, the Targaryens are already heavily fetishized in the books as white characters. If they were to have the same story and be Black... that would add to a long troublesome trend of the sexualization of POC. And this would be on top of what already occurs with the few  named non-white characters already in the series (for instance: The Martells, Sand Snakes, Missandei and Irri).

And finally, the Targaryens are famous for going mad, and thus being unfit to rule. Again, it’d be extremely tone deaf for a white man to have made the madness and instability of a Black ruling family-- the only noble Black family in the kingdom-- to be the central crux of the story.

I feel like this is an example of the potential dangers that can come from the Dark Skinned Blond trope. GRRM could’ve made his central characters be these exotic foreigners with dark skin and platinum blond hair... but this would mean adding subtle racial subtext to the story, something that in this case would not necessarily be good. The story changes when you highlight one of your few non-white characters in this fashion. 

But that’s just some additional Tea with Hawk ☕️🦅 :)

If you ever have any suggestions of topics I should cover, send me an ask or a message!

[lilhawkeye3]

i’ve made it a point that i don’t post many explicit fics on this blog so now i’m asking for y’all’s opinion:

should i just make an 18+ side blog to post more explicit content on? or should i just keep posting sfw snippets on here and having the full nsfw fic on my ao3? i’m not sure which way ppl prefer to read 😅