Saying "I love you" In-between kisses
Eddie had never been a lounging in bed kind of person. It hadn’t been allowed, when he was growing up – even at the weekend, there was sports to play, chores to do, and mass to attend. He’d never done much of that teenage oversleeping he lets Christopher indulge in, always out of bed by eight am, even during the holidays. He’d joined the army, and become a father in one breath, and so early mornings became the norm: Christopher had been an early riser, as a toddler, and then when he’d started school, the Diaz day had started at six am sharp.
The point was – Eddie rarely got to indulge.
They’d gotten back from Texas three weeks ago, and he’d been dating Buck for about three days. It had been a lot of life change all at once, and it had been perfect – coming back to LA had been coming home, and coming back to LA and to Buck had really been coming home. Neither of them had lasted very long before the confessions of undying love had come, exchanged quietly in the kitchen, Buck trying to decide which of their microwaves was the better one to keep, their house full of duplicates of just about everything.
Eddie had looked at him and not been able to hold it in any longer. He wanted this, him and Buck and mundane conversations about kitchen appliances for as long as he lived.
Burrowing himself underneath Buck’s fluffy, thick duvet (that had been an easy decision – Eddie had put his own bedroom set on Facebook marketplace the morning after they had gotten together, Buck’s mattress and duvet set up cloud-like. Eddie was not letting that go) Eddie let his eyes flutter shut, the distant whirl of the coffee machine telling him exactly where Buck was too.
(Hildy had been relegated to a cupboard, her convenient ways too good to get rid of – Buck’s fancy machine was out on the counter, there for days where Buck was willing to grind coffee beans, and steam milk, the sure sign of a perfect, slow morning.)
Christopher was still sleeping – Eddie didn’t need to look at the time to know that. It was a Saturday morning, after a busy week, they’d be lucky if he rose by lunchtime. Eddie didn’t mind. His kid was home, he and Buck were dating, and he was sleeping in a cloud. What more could he possibly ask for?
He felt Buck’s weight before he saw him, the clink of two mugs of coffee being set down on the nightstand the second indicator his boyfriend had returned. Gentle hands peeled back the duvet, Buck straddling Eddie, his curls soft against his forehead (the wonders of a silk pillowcase, Eddie had discovered – Karen had taught him that one), Buck wearing a grey t-shirt that had been cut off at the shoulders and pair of Eddie’s own sleep shorts, clearly having gotten dressed on his adventure to this kitchen.
“Hey, sleepy baby,” Buck hummed, his grin ever-present. They were definitely in the honeymoon stage, but Eddie figured it was allowed, only three days in. He pressed a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips, and God, Eddie was never going to get used to that – the fact that Buck was his, that he got to be on the receiving end of all the love and affection that Buck so freely gave.
“You got out of bed,” Eddie pouted. Maybe he was a bit of a baby.
“I did,” Buck hummed. “I made you a fancy coffee, though.”
Eddie glanced at the bedside table. “You did,” he relented. “I did have to wake up alone, though.”
“I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience,” Buck said dramatically. “How can I ever make it up to you?”
Eddie shrugged, somewhat petulantly, the duvet still tugged up to his chin. “No idea.”
“I can only apologise,” Buck hummed, pressing another kiss to Eddie’s waiting lips. “I love you,” he said, pausing to kiss again Eddie, longer, and deeper this time. “I love you,” he repeated, kissing Eddie for long enough this time that Eddie got lost in the feeling, letting Buck guide his mouth to where he wanted it to be, Buck’s tongue poking at the seam of Eddie’s mouth.
Buck laughed, but he kissed Eddie again. “I love you,” he sing-songed. “I love you, Eddie Diaz. I am so sorry I left you to wake up in bed alone,” kiss, kiss, kiss, and another for luck. “But I love you.”
Eddie wasn’t sure if ‘I love you’ accurately summed up the way he felt about Evan Buckley, but then again, he wasn’t sure if any language had managed to sum up the way he felt about Buck – how safe, and warm, and cared for he felt when he was with him, how Buck was so much more than the man he loved, how he was the other half of Eddie’s soul, the part of him he’d been searching for his entire life.
“I love you,” he kissed Buck, trying to pour every feeling he had into the embrace.
Buck hummed, rolling off Eddie as they broke apart, propping himself up against the headboard. He reached across Eddie for his coffee, making an agreeable noise as he took his first, and second sip.
Relenting, Eddie forced himself to sit up, taking the second mug. It really was good coffee, he though, the first sip delicious and caramel-like as he drank. “This is the perfect way to wake up,” he said softly, leaning against Buck. It was perfect – it was everything Eddie hadn’t ever thought he deserved, but selfishly, he wanted it forever.
Buck beamed at him. “It really is.”
That was how Christopher found them, a half an hour later, when he finally woke, their coffees long-since finished but the two of them still sitting peacefully in bed, Eddie half dozing as Buck scrolled through a news article on his phone. The image of his son standing sleepily in the doorway, a fond expression on his face, struck something deeper, in Eddie – he could imagine a few more kids standing at that doorway, with Buck’s curls and his bright blue eyes, could imagine the weight of a wedding band back on his finger.
It was a perfect fantasy – one he’d focus on later.
For now, he was having a quiet morning in bed with his family. It was perfect.
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