What she means: I have so many feelings about Hazeltuft as a character. She started off as just a run of the mill ambitious apprentice, but tragedy has changed her into something almost unrecognizable. Koipaws death lead her down a path of unhealthy coping mechanisms of overworking herself to become the absolute best and never accept less because that would be she was disrespecting her brothers memory. And now shes at a point where it seems as if she can never get the chance to heal because everytime she gets close to a point where she can start to think differently something happens. She could have forgiven sparrow and moved on if moons rogues hadn't attacked, she could have learn to live side by side with them as clanmates, but then the splitting ties group came which brought in more strangers and made her feel more and more like an outsider to her own clan that she is beginning to not be able to recognise, and even now with the new power shift she hasnt had the time to actually heal and reflect on her thoughts. that and no one gives her the time of day other than the two cats who wont speak against her values which helps no one. all im saying is that hazel has the potential to be not only a good villain but could also have such an interesting redemption arc where she may not ever get everything she had back, but maybe at least she will feel at least at home in her clan
