Bear with me here, but I am firm in my belief that the tapestries in the Halls of Mandos function like movie screens, showing either important events or important people (often said important people are just going about their daily lives).
So all the dead members of the House of Finwe just sit around a tapestry with imaginary popcorn and watch the world. Some of it is tragic and moving of course, but so much of it is benine (they spend the majority of the second age trying to figure out who Gil-galads parents are).
But once things start happening in the third age (in which our movie-watchers have previously split their time alternatively encouraging Galadriel to deck Saruman in the face, and getting weirdly invested in Shire politics) they quickly develop a favourite hero. Said hero is Eowyn. She reminds them all of Aredhel, and by the time she joins the army they’re all in mass support of everything she does.
What I’m saying is that once Eowyn actually fights the Witch-King, she has the entire House of Finwe cheering her name, and when she wins they all riot so hard Namo kicks them out of the Halls. Naturally both Maedhros and Anaire (once someone tells her about it) lament the fact that they couldn’t marry Eowyn instead of their current husbands, and the rest of the family vehemently insist that Arwen chose the wrong mortal.
HCanon I absolutely ADORE THIS. However, if it doesn’t culminate in Gandalf being forced to go back to ME to “go get our girl” under pain of death until Eowyn is like “no I’m good” at which point Olorin has to haul ass *back* to Valinor, while a very upset Faramir is protesting that he’d like to see the undying lands, pretty please with a cherry on top. (I love Faramir very much and im sorry)
Also, just to be clear: they know Saruman is bad news pretty early and are angrily yeeting popcorn, almonds, and the occasional knife whenever he shows up on screen. At first Namo thinks its just them being Overly Aggressive, and honestly, the Feanorians aren’t quite sure why they hate him so much either. But at some point Saruman does turn evil and the valar do concede that when it comes to being oddly in tune with exactly who is “a traitorous piece of shit” the shiny murder family (minus Celebrimbor who is a kind and innocent soul) takes the cake.
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Further bonus: they demand occasional cuts to Maglor, which is then spliced in comedically, in a “Meanwhile Maglor” segment which could well be the same clip over and over. *insert that meme where the child wipes away a movie screen characters tear*
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When Frodo first shows up, he is almost crushed by the whole family demanding to meet the mayor. Frodo is really confused who “the mayor” is and if he is also “the potato man” until he finally exclaims “Why that’s SAM!” He is swiftly informed that no one ever calls him that, jeeze, but yes that’s “Sam.” Where is “Sam.”
They also go after Galadriel for giving Sam that tree and magic dirt because she really upset the balance of power there, but did she even consider that?? NOOOOO. She didnt.
There were all those rumors of Sam’s mayor ship being blessed. Was she aware of that?? Of the ridiculousness she’d brought into what was normally Good Ordered Politics!!! Galadriel’s like “fuck yeah I did think about that actually, and can you Really say Sam doesn’t deserve a little bit of awe from the people there”
The Feanorians realize that, being Galadriel, Galadriel is RIGHT. And since they have no sense of a middle ground, they get in contact with their sleeper agent Maglor (who’s obviously a sleeper agent and very much in contact with them, shut up). Who will now fulfill my life’s ambition of forming a cult as a (in)famous bard. The cult of Samwise the potato man. Sam would like to know what the Fuck is going on and he shows up to Valinor with Questions. (please ignore this paragraph, I just want a cult)
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Of course they’re also very pleased with Frodo, who is Small and a very precious little guy. Because we ALL love Frodo.
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Thanks so much for the ask, your head canons are hilarious and full of life as always. Have a great day :)
Disclaimer: These are all headcanons. Fun things I like thinking about. If you like it or have additions, pls feel free to reblog. These headcanons have been hashed with @thatshipcat who has brilliant ideas on Kaze no Kuni’s pantheon and Sunagakure in general (and is also my forever editor ;A; Bless you Kitty).
x.X.x
Before the Shodaime Kazekage “unified” the tribes of Kaze no Kuni (the Land of Wind), there existed several different systems of medicine.
Said tribes, both settled and nomadic, bumped into each other, traded with each other, and inevitably influenced each other. So, there were some constants among the different tribes—- like the Desert Mother and the Great Sky above. There were also some names and ideas that sound like they’ve been through a bad round of pass the message, and this was fine. Each had different ideas on disease causation in Kaze no Kuni.
In terms of medicine, there were three main systems— but there are no solid lines written in the sand between culture and culture. The first, and the one we’re most familiar with, was the chakra-based medicine. The second was Karam— or a system of medicine that leans heavily on seals and amulets. The third believed that disease was caused by an imbalance of Heat, Breath, and later Blood (though some would argue, didn’t even fall into Kaze no Kuni’s main systems of medicine until after the unification— it, therefore, has no name).
The nomads of Kaze no Kuni brought the chakra-based medicine from their constant interactions with other societies who ventured into Kaze no Kuni from the East. These would include those from Konoha, those from Ame, Kumo, sometimes as far as Uzushio— but mainly, this medical system was solidified when the Jashinists came over and started building temples in Kaze no Kuni that became places of healing. [Will be expounded on in a later headcanon]
Meanwhile, there was a settled society in the Western Waste that lived on the edges of a large meandering river, where a bed of black sand kept fertile lands. There was nothing beyond this large river in the Western Waste— or at least, nothing human. There were other beings who can bless humans, who can curse humans, and with this cause disease. From here came the medicinal system of Karam that relied on amulets, seals, and living in harmony with the other unseen beings. [Will be expounded on in a later headcanon]
Down south, where the desert dissolved into the ocean and humidity was high, there was a system of medicine that leaned on keeping the balance between Heat, Breath, and eventually Blood. Disease happened when heat or cold gets stuck in the wrong places, or if blood stagnates. To realign the body, they often used a series of massages, filter tinctures to drink, or lather herbal ointments on skin. Their medicine came from their surroundings— both the desert and the ocean, and where the two meet in harmony.
And then, everything changed when the Shodaime Kazekage attacked.
Well, sort of.
Shodaime Kazekage wanted to unite (conquer) Kaze no Kuni— and now, after his own tribe trained in chakra-based fighting, was the perfect time. He knew that absorbing cultures and learning for them was the key to evolution and surviving in the desert. However, those same desert people did not have a solid identity as Kaze no Kuni.
So, in a strategically brilliant (if cold) move, he decided to use an us vs them mentality to forcibly unite the tribes. He invented the myth of the invader, the outsider, which the many tribes needed to fight against. Jashinists proved to be an easy target of this policy.
In the end, the Shodaime Kazekage kicked Jashinism out of Kaze no Kuni and then hauled representatives of the different tribes into Sunagakure— with his chakra-based clan being the dominant one. Much of the melding together of the three systems of medicine was facilitated by Chiyo et. al. who hailed from a nomadic tribe that practiced a little bit of each.
Currently, Sunagakure still leans heavily on the chakra-based medicine that is widespread in the Narutoverse. But these practitioners also prescribe written charms, amulets, and write fuuinjutsu using henna on skin as needed. There is a specific branch of medicine in Sunagakure that deals with seals for closed-surgical techniques, for example. There are also times where it’s most appropriate to align the heat, breath, and blood of a person— though this finds more favor in civilian populations than a state-sponsored medical institute. However, much of Suna’s knowledge on poisons and herbal medicine comes from this third system of medicine.
For now, the thrust is towards learning from other places. Suna would often bring in foreign experts or send out their students to learn different systems that could be integrated into their own—— but always /moulded/ and indigenized to fit Suna (much to the chagrin of other villages who think that Suna doesn’t practice it correctly).
Chakra Based Diseases || Regarding diagnosis and treatment
All medical shinobi are trained to diagnose Chakra Based Diseases (CBD). It was the early Hyuugas who have first attempted to map out the chakra pathway system (CPS) and to put that down in writing. Through a series of murders, selling of medical knowledge, theft of medical knowledge, and the inordinate amount of dissection of shinobi killed in battle or by various means--- this information has been available to most shinobi nations in contact with Konoha by the Second Shinobi War.
Sunagakure has their own clinical tool used to pinpoint the level or location of the damage. Imagine, if you will, the ASIA classification of Spinal Cord Injuries. It will not be the same since unlike the spinal cord which comes in levels, the CPS likely comes in branches. But the form and the standardization like ASIA allows the Suna medics to have a common language with which they discuss the diagnosis.
This is a bitch to fill up. The CPS grading scale is also a bitch to fill up, I imagine. Chiyo was the one who started writing the first books and tools used to study the CPS in Suna.
The form gives the location. But not the etiology or the cause of the CBD. That’s another thing entirely and might be discussed in another post.
While most medics are taught how to diagnose the location, the etiology, and give symptomatic relief to those with CBDs--- only some are taught how to really treat it. Because it is a tricky process that could go haywire if people aren’t careful. One could form tumors if they’re not careful about the proliferation of the CPS (credits to @chigiri-no-sato who I somehow cannot tag for this idea).
I imagine the healing of the CPS out of its diseased state requires a rather long process where the body is left to naturally proliferate its cells, but to give a certain amount of appropriate signals so that the cells would proliferate in a certain direction. Very delicate work-- often requiring ambidexterity if one hand is to repair the system and the other is to make sure that there is still good flow. The CPS having anastomoses where clamping one branch to repair it--- the science behind this hasn’t been described in detail yet.
At least in Suna, Yashamaru is one of the specialists of CPS who trained under Chiyo herself. The art has been pushed to a dark age after his death since Chiyo no longer took students after Suna’s Jinchuuriki was born. The knowledge is still in the books-- but it’s an art that has to be passed down and due to circumstances, this passage was cut. There are likely other specialists out there, definitely.
Sasori is potentially another one. While not a trained medic, Chiyo did teach him a thing or two. Retrospectively, and after the discovery of human puppets and Sasori’s own puppet body, Suna authorities believe that it is knowledge of the CPS that allowed Sasori to carve out the right paths in order to populate a puppet body with chakra and transfer from one body to another.
Wooden limbs creaking with the slightest shift and lazy eyes drifting across the room, Jameson tried to find the strength to stand. He couldn’t. He couldn’t.
The voice. It spoke in the back of his mind. Called to him. It was distorted and distant, but he could still make out his name through the static in his head. His fingers twitched, and he barely managed to pull an arm into his lap. He couldn’t speak. Not anymore. How would Marvin know he needed help with his back to the once-man? It had only been a few days. Just opening his eyes had been hard. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand on his own anymore.
Jameson would have swallowed if he could. His eyes shuttered closed, then flicked up to the ceiling light. He twitched his fingers into what he could manage for a grabbing gesture, and Central seemed to catch on. Thank you, he thought when the light flickered in a strange pattern, thank you.
Marvin’s shoulders hiked up as he turned around, away from his desk and toward the puppet. Even beneath his mask, Jameson could see the sorcerer’s brows creasing with worry.
“You good, Jamie?” he asked as he swept toward the younger one. His cape was billowing behind him, hair pulled back into a neat braid. “I’m trying, okay? I’ll find a way to turn you back.”
The odd little shutters that acted as eyelids closed slightly. Narrowed, in a way. Very slowly, he was able to shake his head. Someone was calling him! Didn’t Marvin hear it?
The voice grew in volume, and Jameson would have flinched had he actually been able to move fast enough. As it were, he could only bring his eyes to close as Marvin reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. He couldn’t feel the touch. He wished he could. He wanted to find comfort in it.
His mouth dropped open, then clicked shut again when no sound came out. He wanted to cry, to scream, get up and run toward the voice that was--
“Jamie! Can you hear me?”
The wooden puppet’s eyes slowly drifted open again. Marvin’s face was...blurry. Was it really his face? He couldn’t tell. Not with the voice in his head. It hurt. Why did it hurt? He couldn’t feel anything anymore, how could something hurt.
Enemy. Danger. The voice was hissing into his head.
When Jameson could bring himself to open his eyes again, he felt...afraid, of the sorcerer. He shouldn’t be afraid of Marvin. Why..?
Obey your strings.
Marvin seemed...surprised, when Jameson jerked straight up to sit eye-level with him. The puppet’s head tilted. His movements felt more...natural.
Kill him.
Lurching forward, Jameson’s hands went straight for Marvin’s throat.
HCAnon! Sorry I haven't been here for a while, exams aren't fun. If they had one, what's everyone's theme song?
Oof exams are no fun! :/ Good to see you back, though! <3
The theme for the series itself is The Score’s “Money Run Low,” and I’ll reblog this with a link to its entire YouTube playlist! The themes for the individual characters shall be listed below.
Also, Doc, Green, King, Marvin, and Jameson wouldn’t cooperate for this. I managed to find something for most of them, but I’m having trouble with Doc. :/
~Mick
Antisepticeye: Shinedown - “The Human Radio”
Bim Trimmer: Set it Off - “Why Worry”
Bingiplier: Steam Powered Giraffe - “Malfunction”
Blue: Of Monsters and Men - “Human”
Chase Brody: The Score - “Believe”
Darkiplier: Halsey - “Control”
Ed Edgar: Cage the Elephant - “In One Ear”
Dr. Edward Iplier: ??? (I’ve been searching for hours and can’t find anything for him!)
Green: All Good Things - “Machines”
Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein: Palaye Royale - “Mr. Doctor Man”
The Host: Emily Finchum - “Bones”
Jackieboy Man: Tim McMorris - “Superhero”
Jacques Septique: Fire From the Gods - “End Transmission”
Jameson Jackson: Hollywood Undead - “Nobody’s Watching”
Jim (News Jim): Nickelback - “What Are You Waiting For?”
Jimmy (Weather Jim): Fall Out Boy - “The Phoenix”
King of the Squirrels: Tim McMorris - “Feeling Good Today”
Marvin the Magnificent: Aviators - “Follow You Down”
Oliver: Panic! At the Disco - “High Hopes”
Red: WattWhite - “Beat You”
Silver Shepherd: The Script - “The Energy Never Dies”
Wilford Warfstache: TJ Stafford - “Hey You”
Yandereplier: Of Monsters and Men - “Wolves Without Teeth”
@desertgourd, @cherryreid, @xotosan: Tagging cuz interesting points of character discussion as well as might be something that could come up in an RP who knows. Shrugs?
Cuz have you all ever had a character just lean in towards certain songs? Certain songs with certain themes that make you go--- hmmm, girl are you trying to tell me something?
That’s Karura for me? And it’s been going on for a bit, but I just haven’t really settled on a conclusion. I still don’t. But I feel it’s interesting enough to be placed here? SO! Here we go <3
Modern AU Karura and Religion in Childhood
Both Yashamaru and Karura were raised by an Indian immigrant mother who brought with her stories of their own heritage and religion. But Kamala was also a woman who understood the need to assimilate in order to survive in the America they came into. So while she would give small pieces of her culture to her children-- they were mostly in the form of old stories. Never a structured religion with practices they can really take part in.
So what happened when their mother died is that both Karura and Yashamaru don’t really have a religion. For Yashamaru, the whole thing was never really in his radar. There is respect for other’s religion and he knows just enough not to be an unwitting jerk about it. But the true belief in an afterlife? In an all knowing god? Not really. Current life has enough problems for him at the moment.
Karura on the other hand? Her first exposure to Christianity would be in the choir. Which is the funniest thing cuz no one ever really bothered to ask her what her religion was. But to Karura-- it was a reason to stay behind with friends in school and sing and she was in! She liked the practices and the little snacks they have after. She also loved the songs.
((Also disclaimer, the songs I know are mostly from Ignatian Spirituality. So I don’t know if they actually sing this in the US, but oh well. But truly, the Filipino version is so much better.))
Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous
Teach me to serve You as I should
To give and not to count the cost
To fight and not to heed the wounds
To toil and not to seek for rest
To labor and ask not for reward
Save that of knowing that I do Your most holy will
But at some point, maybe when she was entering middle school and confirmation happens that the discussion on whether or not she would like to be baptised comes into the picture. And Karura who has been reading what she’s been singing... but also who has been exposed to how people actually practice it? She’s pretty torn. The books talk about love. And love is something she can stand by. Being good to your neighbors. But also--- these people on the streets, being so unkind to each other. Under the name of this God.
So she defers that decision. Honestly, never really makes that decision.
Karura prays though. If there’s something all these songs she leans to tell me, it’s that. And it’s with generally the same energy.
I bow down to pray
I try to make the worst seem better
Lord, show me the way
To cut through all his worn out leather
I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
I thought we all were
The children of God
She almost never goes to church these days. Keeps her prayers in her own room when she’s alone and the world is quiet. Mostly because--- she cannot defend these ideas. Goodness knows they’re not logical and they don’t stand up against reason. She’s had people poke holes at her thoughts when she came to them with that problem. But that’s not the point... is it?
Her belief is full of questions. So many questions. And the latest I’ve seen came from this particular song:
Dear God
Sorry to disturb you, but
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
'Cause they can't make opinions meet about God
I can't believe in you
That is her biggest problem. How does the world get to be like this with a loving God watching over them. She knows the answer of the religion to it. But it doesn’t settle well with her. Not with what she sees going on in the world. But it’s also not an “I can’t believe in you” that completely turns her away.
Because she still prays. She prays for her children-- that they may learn so much from today; that the world is a beautiful place, even if kindness is not in every corner. She prays that they grow into the best people they can be. She prays for her husband, that he finds rest in his work. He has been working so so hard, and she hopes that he comes home to be able to enjoy the fruits of those long hours at work. She prays for her brother-- for strength and resilience. For her to being a good sister and helping him with his depression. Because she knows it’s hard, but she also knows that there are so many good things there for him too. She prays for each of her friends in turn.
One Christmas, Yashamaru gifted Karura with a simple rosary. He laughed and said that he may have been approached by a slightly sketchy person pretending to be religious. But he’s had it blessed--- the most awkward conversation he’s had this week. He hopes she’ll get to use it. He has no idea what the beads mean, and the priest was about to give him a short lecture on it before he said he had a train to catch (even if he didn’t).
Karura keeps it in her bag, folded inside a handkerchief so it doesn’t get tangled up too much.
🆘 - What does your muse think of poor people? Do they think they’re a waste of space, or do they want to help them?
@icecurse
Poor people are an opportunity unlike any other!
They don’t ask for a whole lot and most of the things they need, Ryozen as Kazekage could provide. Not to mention, they’re willing to do a lot of things to get what they need. They’re also generally easy to find.
Best of all, they don’t have the power to get back at you. He will always have stronger and more loyal ANBU at his beck and call (though some of those ANBU also have humble beginnings). And generally, those poor people he uses for other reasons are pretty much disposable.
Thanks in part to a certain Suna nin knowing how to tamper with memory. It’s also easy to erase evidence of anything related to him.
Vmin: tae has random urges all the time so when he feels like mouthing at jimin’s thighs he doesn’t question it and just goes for it; jimin is lounging on his bed when tae marches in, plops himself belly first between jimin’s stretched out legs and attaches his mouth to one of his thighs. Jimin squeals and laughs at first bc it tickles, but it starts to feel rly good and his hips keep twitching up and he keeps letting out lil breathy “huh” noises, tae’s big hands squeezing his thighs - hc
bless this one so much
can you blame tae though? jimin’s thighs are just…wow. it makes sense that he’d want his mouth on them whenever possible. jimin wouldn’t be able to sit still and quiet. he’d eventually have to beg tae for more. it’s so easy for him to turn into a needy, whining mess when tae does this
