Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #10: THE SEARCH FOR THE THING!
July, 1986
HEADLOK grabs your brain... the GRIFFIN rips your body! Some choice, huh?
After all the Master Pandemonium stuff, it somehow feels refreshing just to have the West Coast Avengers fight two dinguses.
They haven’t done a lot of incidental superheroing. Its all been some big, involved thing. I hope these guys aren’t involved with Master P at all. Just a one off.
Anyway.
I’m familiar with Griffin from Avengers Earth’s Mightiest Heroes the cartoon animation where he was mostly just a big, bestial brute. Not familiar with Headlok but he looks like a Sinestro Corp lantern.
Last times on West Coast Avengers: The most important thing is that after Hawkeye badgered him for issues, the Thing finally agreed to join the West Coast Avengers as their final member!
He looks like he’s experiencing instant regret.
But he said that he’s definitely joining so I’m looking forward to his run on the team.
Womp womp!
Hawkeye is annoyed because he was going to have a big press conference to announce that The Thing was going to join his team and dangit, there’s no Thing around!
He decides to have the West Coast Avengers go looking around Ben Grimm’s usual haunts to see if they can find him while Hawkeye stalls the media.
Tigra agrees to do it but expresses disinterest. She just doesn’t really think the Thing can be in any serious trouble and they should be spending their time chasing Master Pandemonium.
Hawkeye: “Listen, we’ll chase our enemies later! Just go find me our friend! I’m not much into givin’ orders, but that’s one!”
Mockingbird: “Simmer down, sport -- she didn’t say she wouldn’t do it! Besides, you know that with a cat spirit overlaid on her soul, she’s... changeable!”
Hawkeye: “I know, Bobbi-bird! I’m just on edge! But thanks! When I’d fly off the handle in the old days, Cap never gave me a hug!”
Well, maybe he shoulda!
Anyway, as Hawkeye and Mockingbird discuss their sixth West Coast Avenger going missing, they run into Firebird coming down the hall and clam up because its a sore subject.
Hmm.... now she probably didn’t bury Ben alive so she could try to get his spot on the team. But maybe she did?
Firebird: “Hawkeye, Mockingbird -- I’m ready to leave you -- again! That seems to be all I do when I’m with you -- try to leave -- but this time, I see nothing to keep me from it! Not that I haven’t enjoyed my time with the West Coast Avengers, but I know you’ll want to settle in with your completed team!”
Mockingbird tries to convince Firebird to hang around so she can keep trying to convince Hawkeye to let her join the team but Firebird says no. Even if they make an exception to have seven members and let her on the team, even if the Thing decides not to join and leaves a spot on the roster, Firebird has decided that wanting to join the Avengers so hard was a sin and god decided she needed to be humbled.
... Sure!
Hawkeye apologizes that maybe he wasn’t entirely fair to Firebird but he’s new to leading the team and asks she give the Avengers another chance when she gets done with the retreat she’s going on.
He also suggests that maybe she look into that weird vision she had. Because it was weird. And hasn’t gotten any explaining.
Firebird: “I willl -- I promise! Though I primarily want to learn more about my strange powers! For now though -- thank you! And good luck with the new team!”
With Firebird on her way out, Hank calls over Hawkeye to tell him that he got a report from Wonder Man.
Wonder Man ran into She-Hulk and Not-Carol Not-Kamala Ms Marvel at a hospital by the arena Thing wrestled at.
He apparently collapsed in the middle of a fight and was taken to the hospital. But then he ran off, through a wall.
Hawkeye: “Wha-at -- ?”
Wonder Man: “Nobody know where he’s gone or why!”
Hawkeye: “That pumpkin-headed palooka! He can’t do this to us!”
Iron Man: “It’s going to make the Avengers look like fools!”
Hawkeye: “Oh, no it’s not! You may be a founding member, Iron Man, but I started with the team that had to show we could get along without you and Hank and Thor! I’m pulling us out of this unscathed -- somehow!”
Uhhhh, Clint.
Ben collapsed and was taken to a hospital.
I think maybe you should be concerned about him more than about your reputation.
I’ll be fair though. Like Clint said earlier, he’s new to leading the Avengers and he’s very concerned with not only doing a good job but also being seen to be doing a good job.
So not the best to be most concerned with the Avengers’ image when Ben could be in trouble. But maybe understandable.
But what the shit, Tony Stark Iron Man!
Anyway, Hawkeye leaps into action! Telling the West Coast Avengers to track down the Thing!
Hawkeye: “Simon -- strain your jets to their limit, an’ hit every airport in the L.A. area! Find out if he left town that way! Tigra -- check the train station and bus lines! Hank -- you call up the highway patrol and ask ‘em to look for his bike!”
Then he uses the press conference that’s been waiting outside AND ANNOUNCES TO THE MEDIA THAT THE THING IS MISSING!
Geez.
I really hope that the Thing is in some kind of trouble because this kind of thing is going to be really embarassing if he got cold feet and decided to ghost the West Coast Avengers instead of joining.
It does seem like he doesn’t want the West Coast Avengers’ help because he’s very alarmed when Wonder Man shows up at the airport.
Then again, I’m only just assuming that’s Ben Grimm. With that trenchcoat and fedora, it could be anyone.
... My god, if the plot of the issue happens because the West Coast Avengers accost Griffin, thinking he’s the Thing just because he’s wearing an anonymity trenchcoat/fedora that would be the greatest thing ever!
I really hope it happens like that!
Anyway, I’m going to assume that this mysterious, anonymous giant man in trenchcoat/fedora is Ben Grimm.
Wonder Man talks to the airport staff in the flight tower and gets them to agree to give the West Coast Avengers a call if any of the cabin crews spot the Thing.
AND APPARENTLY, the West Coast Avengers’ phone number is 555-HERO.
Hahaha delightful.
Anyway, Wonder Man is getting ready to head to the next airport on his list when he’s accosted by a journalist from Variety.
Even though Simon is on Avengers business, he decides he can’t blow off Variety magazine when his career is finally taking off so he agrees to give the guy a brief interview.
As Ben Grimm strolls right on by behind him.
Amazing.
Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Hawkeye escalates The Search For the Thing quest by calling the Fantastic Four and asking Reed Richards to call them if the FF sees the Thing.
Mr Fantastic: “What’s all the excitement about, though? Why are you looking for him?”
Hawkeye: “Oh, uh. Didn’t I mention that? He was, uh, gonna join our team out here!”
Mr Fantastic: “Join -- the Avengers -- ? Well, that’s certainly a surprise! I would never have thought he’d -- I suppose congratulations are in order -- ! I’ll tell the others! Goodbye!”
Hah, wow.
Mockingbird notes that Reed got super cold when Hawkeye mentioned Ben was going to join the Avengers and asks if Reed thinks he owns Ben but Iron Man explains that Reed and Ben have been friends for years on the FF and years before that.
Iron Man: “What could have split them apart so completely -- ?”
Well, Reed omitted his theory that Ben could switch between meat and rock forms but had a psychological hangup so didn’t realize it. And only mentioned it once Ben had accidentally mode-locked himself FOREVER.
Anyway, its funny that the West Coast Avengers are wondering about the split between Ben and Reed NOW considering Hawkeye poking at Ben’s sore feelings was one of his major selling points to get Ben to join the Avengers.
Hawkeye also decides to check in with the East Coast Avengers (he explicitly calls them that, woo! Also calls them the EAK-O’s to mirror Ben calling the West Coast team wackos) and asks the Wasp to keep an eye out for the Thing.
Hawkeye: “We were about an hour away from making him the final member, but he’s done a disappearing act!”
The Wasp: “The Thing -- ? I thought the Sub-Mariner was an offbeat choice for our team but -- I had no idea you were interested in the Thing! Are you keeping secrets from us back here, Hawkeye?”
Hawkeye: “Only the good stuff!”
To be clear, Wasp is being playful with Clint. But it does make me wonder how much the teams report to each other.
Originally, the idea is that there’d be two teams but the West Coast team would kinda report to the Vision? Since it was one of his ‘lets NOT take over the world’ attempts at expanding the Avengers’ influence so he could fix the world non-takeoverishly.
But with Vision stepping down after becoming the internet, I guess Wasp has been content letting Hawkeye do his own thing.
Anyway, she says the East Coast Avengers will call if they see him but asks what Hawkeye meant by ‘final member.’
Wasp: “Why did you say he’d be your ‘final’ member? Are you running out of room on that estate?”
Hawkeye: “Well, you know, the six member rule -- !”
Wasp: “What six member rule?”
Hawkeye: “You know -- the rule about six members!”
This conversation is going around in circles.
She finally clues in that Hawkeye is talking about the roster limits that first Gyrich and then Cap established for the Avengers. Except...
Those limits don’t apply anymore! Because the Avengers lost their priority clearance with the government so they don’t have to follow any of the edicts that the government established for them!
As far as Wasp is concerned, Hawkeye can have as many people on the team as he wants!
Hawkeye has a laughing fit when he hears this because all of the Thing vs Firebird to fill the last spot on the team was COMPLETELY POINTLESS!
They coulda had both! Now they have neither!
Iron Man: -concern-
Anyway, Hank Pym tells Hawkeye that he’s gotten two hot leads for the Thing’s whereabouts.
The first lead is a man who thinks he saw Ben in disguise at L.A. airport. But forget that, the second lead says they for definite saw the Thing not in disguise five miles north of Zuma Beach.
Since the for definite lead seems more confidant, Hawkeye decides to follow up on that one.
He has Hank call Tigra and tell her to finish up her search of the bus and train stations and join the team up the coast.
Which gets us another near miss!
The Maybe Ben Grimm shows up at the train station that Tigra is searching but she walks right past him when she gets the call from Hank!
These superheroes are not very perceptive!
While Tigra runs off to her air-cycle thing, she wonders why Ben would be up near Malibu since he already told her that he doesn’t really care for beaches because he can’t tan and can’t surf.
Whatever the reason, she wants to get this wrapped up so she can get back to dithering on killing Master Pandemonium.
Tigra: “The only thing I really want to do now is kill Master Pandemonium! The next time I get my claws on that bearded mouse I’ll wring his neck and save my soul! The time for pussy-footing is past! I’m going to get my life back whatever it takes! And if the other Avengers try to stop me -- then look out for them!”
Well. That’s going to be a thing.
Speaking of the maybe Thing, when he hears that the Avengers are strongly requesting (a strictly voluntary) showing of ID whenever anybody buys a ticket to New York, he runs off.
The (West Coast) Avengers arrive at the beach and because Englehart tends towards wordiness, each member has their own thoughts.
Mockingbird muses that the Fantastic Four may be responsible for her career since they were this generation’s first big heroes and inspired her to be more adventure seeking when she was a young science major.
Tigra gets mad at Ben screwing the West Coast Avengers when she considered him a good friend.
Tigra: “And they say cats are self-centered!”
Hawkeye wonders if Ben got cold feet about joining. And that makes him feel bad because he thought he’d be into the team once he got to know them.
Wonder Man wonders why the Thing is hiding from the West Coast Avengers and whether he’s afraid of something.
Iron Man: “We’ve both been around forever, but we’ve fought together so seldom! I’m not letting anything screw up this chance!”
Anyway, they arrive and meet their informant, a non-suspicious guy in a hooded coat.
No surprise it’s Headlok. He’s on the cover.
Also, his pal/mindslave Griffin. Who was also on the cover.
Headlok actually has no lead on the Thing, obviously. He just decided that the West Coast Avengers would be easier to beat up if the Thing wasn’t with them.
Which is a funny argument to make. Because they’ve done pretty okay without the Thing. I don’t even know why he decided to try to fight the West Coast Avengers aside from the opportunity to lure them into a not-much-of ambush.
I also don’t know who Headlok is.
TO THE MARVEL WIKI!
Oh my god, this is his first appearance.
This is his debut and he decided to take on an entire superhero team!
What a dingus.
Sure, he has the Griffin as some muscle.
But I think maybe his villain eyes are bigger than his villain stomach. He claims “no brain on Earth has more mental strength than mine” and somewhere, Jean Grey sat up and said ‘you said wut, mate?’
Jokes aside, I don’t hate that the West Coast Avengers book is introducing new villains.
Wonder Man actually recognizes Griffin. He and Spider-Man fought him in Marvel Team-Up #78 and Simon is prettyyyyy sure that Griffin died in the fight.
But Headlok claims that Griffin lost the last trace of his humanity just about when a flaming Quinjet fell on him. So instead of sitting put and dying, he acted like an animal and dug an escape tunnel.
Truly an escape method only an animal would have thought of.
Anyway. Headlok found him in the Adirondacks, made him a mind slave, and here we are!
And where we are is Griffin lunging at Wonder Man because he has a grudge of some kind.
Wonder Man tells the rest of the West Coast Avengers to deal with Headlok while he deals with Griffin.
Tigra, Iron Man, and Hawkeye immediately try to kick Headlok’s ass but all the attacks just go through him.
His mental powers, which remember have no equal on Earth (Jean Grey intensifies), lets him appear in one place while being not in that place!
INSIDIOUS!
Meanwhile, Wonder Man and Griffin have a rumble.
Griffin has gotten stronger since the last time they fought. But Wonder Man doesn’t hesitate in fights anymore because of his epiphany thing.
Griffin: “RRaaRRaRUU”
Wonder Man: “Sounds like he’s trying to talk! Poor thing -- he used to be a man -- but I’m a full-fledged Wonder Man!”
And then he gets his ass kicked.
Wonder Man: “What a GREAT FIGHT!”
Maybe the West Coast Avengers need to get Wonder Man in more fights with beefy tough foes that he can just whale on.
He’s not getting proper enrichment is my take away here.
Annnnyway.
Wonder Man gets up from a big hit and suddenly declares he’s going to kick the Avengers’ asses.
Wonder Man, why?
Dammit Headlok!
As it turns out, despite boasting of being an unparalleled psychic guy, he actually has some pretty fair limitations.
The X-Men could learn a thing or two about being balanced from this braggart.
Since the West Coast Avengers were on guard against him, he couldn’t use his psychic whammy on them. He could only appear to be one place and not another.
But by distracting Wonder Man with the Griffin, Wonder Man’s psychic defenses lowered and now Headlok controls him.
And even though he loudly explains his plan to the West Coast Avengers, the trick will probably work again since he now has two distractors: Griffin and Wonder Man. And its a snowballing type situation for the West Coast Avengers. The more it works, the more it’ll work.
But Mockingbird has a plan!
Everyone else keep everyone else busy while she focuses really hard on trying to find Headlok.
Y’know, since he was nice enough to explain that hardening minds against him thing.
Since Iron Man is the only one that can fight Wonder Man (although not for very long, as Iron Man quickly cautions) he goes and knocks Wonder Man around with pulse bolts.
Iron Man: “Good grief! Full power repulsor rays, and he’s not even breathing hard! I am strong! There’s almost no one I can’t beat -- but he’s as strong as the Hulk!”
Historically: mmmm not quite.
Iron Man then tries collapsing a cliff onto Wonder Man but that too does not stop the Man of Wonders.
Its funny that the book seems to feel Wonder Man is too strong to be on the West Coast Avengers. He keeps getting sidelined so he won’t instantly solve problems by punching them hard enough. And now that he’s been mind controlled into fighting the West Coast Avengers, it seems to bear out that he’s just way too OP by having him shrug off everything next strongest guy Iron Man throws at him.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye and Tigra have to tangle with Griffin, a guy that was giving Wonder Man a good fight.
The same Wonder Man who only Iron Man stands a chance against and not much of one.
Yeah, Hawkeye and Tigra are going to have trouble with Griffin.
EXCEPT
Tigra has learned a thing recently.
The secret language of cats!
Tigra: “Listen, I hate everything he’s become, but there is a cat in there! Stop shooting a minute -- and let me try to talk him over to our side!”
Hawkeye: “Do what -- ?”
Tigra: “Pst! Pss pss prrrrrrrup! Prrp prrp!”
Amazing. Spectacular.
Tigra is making pssp pssp noises at Griffin like he’s a house cat.
AND IT WORKS
Oh, also, Mockingbird found Headlok by concentrating really hard.
She chases after him and Hawkeye chases after her chasing him but Headlok decides that this was actually his plan actually.
Mockingbird: “Those legs of his are no match for ours in this sand!”
Headlok: “But my mind is my ultimate strength, Avenger -- and I have not fled you! I have lured you -- away from your friends and my slave, so I can concentrate on you! With concentration I’ll drive your minds like drayhorses!”
Wait, I thought the thing was that he needed them to not be focusing on them to take them over.
Make up your mind, Headlok.
Anyway, while trying to resist the mind pROBE, Hawkeye accidentally triggers the rocket arrows that he definitely has.
Which sends him flying through the air with the greatest of ease, completely baffled that his life is this slapstick.
When he lands back on semi-solid ground, he discovers that Headlok is knocked out face down in the sand.
And nobody really knows how it happened.
Mockingbird lost consciousness and just found the villain already defeated. And everyone else was busy the next sand dune over.
Hawkeye just assumes that either he or Mockingbird defeated Headlok while passed out. I mean, likeliest explanation? He and his wife are just that cool?
But someone throws a giant boulder of dissent (which is like a foot or two off from squishing Headlok, geez) and the West Coast Avengers see a shadowy figure lurking in a canyon.
I can’t tell who it is because they’re wearing a trenchcoat and fedora.
Could be anyone.
But no!
It’s the Thing!
He happened to overhear Tigra mention where she was going (to go look for Ben) so he got in a cab and followed after.
Since Headlok didn’t realize Ben was here (what a shitty psychic), he was able to run out, punch the villain unconscious, and then run back to canyon cover while everyone was distracted by Hawkeye flying through the air like a doofus.
And after the West Coast Avengers trying to hunt down Ben like a dog for not explaining why he ghosted them, we finally get... a really vague answer!
The Thing: “The reason I came -- is ta ask ya ta stop lookin’ for me, already! I gotta go away, an’ I can’t tell ya why! But I gotta go -- an’ for the sake o’ the friendship I hope we still got, you gotta let me! You guys were great! I meant everything I ever said to ya -- except the part about your IQ, Hawkeye! It’s not you -- it’s me!”
A really vague answer is answer enough for Hawkeye and he and the rest of the West Coast Avengers wish Ben the best of luck in whatever it is that he’s got going on!
Classy team here.
I, however, am not classy.
The reason why Ben decided to slink away from this team book in shame is that in his solo book he’d mutated even further, becoming covered in gross pustules. Rocks is one thing. Looking like a rock pinecone in the future is another thing. But being rocks and covered in pustules made Ben decide that he didn’t belong in polite company and to exile himself forever to Monster Island.
Where Mole Man cured his dermatological issue.
From there, he eventually rejoined the Fantastic Four, alas.
It’s incredibly funny that after all of Hawkeye’s persistent badgering of the Thing, the guy doesn’t even have one issue where he’s officially on the team. He just leaves as soon as he agrees to join.
But I also wanted Ben Grimm the Thing on the team.
It never would have lasted forever or very long because the Fantastic Four books has dibs on the character. But I would have liked to see it last longer than nothing.
Ah, well.
Follow @essential-avengers because I need to get that account back up and running so maybe shame me into it by following. Like and reblog because that’ll show me.
So @djstudioman and I were at @redstartacobar in #Tacoma and I look down at this top cap on an interior stub wall to see @fastenmasterpro #headlok construction fasteners. These things are everywhere! #drdecks #yourprescriptionforquality (at Dr.Decks L.L.C.) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6GcmH1BRZA/?igshid=1to8h41ivfzkb
