Guru Guru - "Bo Diddley"
Pavement - "And Then (the Hexx)"
Alice Coltrane - "Universal Consciousness"
Hairy Chapter - "It Must Be an Officer's Daughter"
AKA - "Do What You Like"
Gang Wizard - "Ugly American"
J. Gallego - "Downtown Cruising"
Sun City Girls - "Space Prophet Dogon"
Selda - "Ince Ince"
Tesfa-Maryam Kidane - "Heywete"
Emeralds - "Candy Shoppe"
Bitchin Bajas - "Brush"
Yabancilar - "Agit"
Prince Far I - "Final Chapter"
Augustus Pablo - "Zion is a Home"
Si Mohammed Bel Hassan Soudani - "Gnaoui Solo Song"
Can - "Tape Kebab"
I can easily compare my feelings about relationships to my feelings about driving.
Currently, I do not do either.
I feel similarly about these things in a lot of ways. I'm afraid of both, for reasons I both do and do not completely understand. I am predisposed to believe that I'm bad at both, though there is not necessarily any proof of either. On some level I understand that there is a learning curve to both of these things and the skills in both won't just come to me overnight yet I still find myself nervous to even approach that learning curve.
They say that practice makes perfect, another concept that I believe applies to both and that I do agree with, in theory. The more I drive a car, the better I will be at it. The more I actively try to have relationships, the better they will be and the better I will be at making them work out. And yet...
People have expectations of me when it comes to both of these things. "When are you going to learn how to drive?" "When are you going to get a boyfriend?"
My answer to both of these questions is usually just,
"No."
There is something holding me back and until I can get over it I won't be driving and I won't be dating because I live by a philosophy that if I don't enjoy something I won't do it. Right now I don't even enjoy the idea of either of these things. That is how strong my aversion to driving and dating is.
I plan on changing. Just biting the bullet and pushing past the first awful humps of uncomfortable awkward learning stages because I want to be able to do these things, not because it's expected of me but because I'm tired of being held back by my own fear.
Not that anybody reading this will have to face the results of this, but it's an interesting (if a little dark; no pun intended) read. Begs the question, what happens when the universe stops?
Happiness, complacency, general disarray and other South Park characters rule this world. There is a lack of trust, high fives or hugs. Without getting too judgmental (I am) the disconnect between yes and no and well wishes is growing more than it should. I progressively feel that the conditional feeling's of those along the periphery hold more sway than necessary.
This will sound like some 1970s John Lennon at the Statue of Liberty propaganda but please just take the time say something nice about another person. It seems trivial and small, however, the satisfaction you get and your recently +1 party have will carry the day.
Aesop's moral of the story is that Rocky might not be always be happy with Bullwinkle but the goofy moose makes sure that the long eared squirrel knows that people out there heart him.
