I don’t often share personal stories on here, but listen. I’m in my university’s Hedgehog Society and today they held a casual, friendly hedgehog cake decorating competition. They provided store-bought, iced cakes, confectionery materials and tools. We turned those cakes into hedgehogs. Red velvet cake was among the bases offered.
I created Shadow the Hedgecake.
Now, three points of context:
I am extremely perfectionistic and self-conscious about what I create, as a rule. This is worse in social situations and I’m especially uncomfortable with visual and physical mediums. I hate drawing. The permanence of marring a blank canvas terrifies me. I can delete words in a document, but if I stain a page with my human imperfection by one wrong line, that page is ruined. The same principle applies to sculpture and so on. I used to cry in art class. A lot. The only reason I don’t anymore is that I no longer do art class.
In a similar vein of irrational anxiety and shame, I’m very secretive about many of my fandom interests in my personal life, particularly those that are likely to be mocked or not taken seriously. Like Sonic the Hedgehog. I know that my stress is disproportionate and I’ve never actually been bullied or anything. But unless I know or suspect that someone either likes the media too or is happy to learn about it, I just don’t broach the subject. My followers have seen sides of me that I’ve never shown my family.
Nobody in the Hedgehog Society had indicated before this meeting that they liked Sonic the Hedgehog. Nobody else did a character cake like me. I committed to this alone and unsupported in public.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I have an anxiety disorder, but I am autistic. So my social thinking and confidence aren’t exactly normal.
But I’ve recently started university. I’m pushing my limits and putting myself out there and starting to connect with new people. This is a time for growth. This is 2024: the Year of Shadow. The Fearless Year of Shadow. So I decided to do something I’d always struggled to. I would relax, not take this too seriously and follow my vision.
BEHOLD. THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM.
Don’t tell me you don’t see the resemblance. He’s partly red! He’s in his super form! He’s got a light fluffy patch on his chest! He’s got two pairs of gold rings/circles/whatever! He’s a messy, angular weirdo!
He’s angry and crying because he watched his best friend get murdered by the government!
Did I win the contest? No. Did I place? No. But I had fun, and I was original and true to myself. Thanks, Shadow.
