“Wait– these are your hellspawn?!” Thirteen questions, turning wide eyes on the eclectic group clustered together around the kitchen counter with plates of apple pancakes. “That’s so exciting! Why aren’t you more excited, Aizawa-san?!”
“I like that one,” Himiko stage-whispers, leaning theatrically into Mina’s space.
“They’re called Thirteen,” Mina whispers back, “I love them too.”
“They can hear you, hellspawn,” Eraser reminds, rolling his eyes at them both. “And I don’t need to be excited, Kurose. That’s what I have a husband for.”
“I’m excited!” Mic agrees, from where he’s just about squeezing the absolute life out of Eijirou (one of only three neither traumatised nor cruel enough to dodge or punch his way out).
“But… weren’t you worried about them?” Thirteen frowns, fretful. “I was and I hadn’t even met the kids! They just vanished!”
“You say that like you think there is any escaping these gremlins,” Eraser sighs, hunching backwards like he’s trying to hide in the capture weapon he’s currently not wearing.
“Eraser & Mic are in a group chat with us all,” Mashirao clarifies, for the bewildered space hero.
“Not to mention Hitoshi tuned into their comm line every night while they were away anyway,” Eraser adds, jabbing a thumb in his son’s direction. “The amount of snickering clued me in that they were doing fine terrorising someone else for a change.”
“Well, unlike some people, Fatgum knows how to have fun,” Cat retorts, through a mouthful of apple.
“Vigilantism isn’t fun!” Eraser argues, but whatever else he’s going to say is drowned out by the chorus of discordant and disgruntled groans from the vigilantes.
“So the single most successful vigilante group since the Naruhata trio is a bunch of children sitting in our living room right now?” Cementoss looks like he’s about to crack down the middle and shatter into brick dust. “And we are now responsible for just under a dozen vigilante teens, and a child who has been stolen from a highly dangerous branch of Yakuza?”
“Most of whom won’t actually give their names,” Vlad reminds, running a hand down his face. “Aizawa, this is your fault somehow.”
“How is this my fault?!” Eraser bristles, scowling at the other teacher.
“You let the first one in!” He gestures to Hitoshi, who snorts, choking on his mouthful.
“Why did you say that like they’re feral cats?” Midnight questions, caught between outrage and bewilderment. “They’re children, Kan.”
“Yeah, feral alley cat children, just like Eraser!” Vlad insists, “Or have you forgotten that he still bites?”
“Biting’s very effective in a fight,” Cat pipes up, distractedly, even as it catches the knife Shouto tosses in their direction. “No one ever expects it.” Vlad eyes their sharp teeth as the flick the knife towards Mashirao and, in a rare show of self-preservation, turns his attention back to Eraser.
“Nedzu knew the green one’s mother.” Eraser’s attention is entirely on his rat-boss principal. “So, technically, he let the first one in.”
“They’re still not feral animals,” Midnight reminds, rolling her eyes. “Besides, they’re kinda cute.”
“Are you sure?” Ectoplasm inquires, “Because we’ve already established there’s a mini-Eraser in-the-making, and I’m pretty sure those two are mini-Nedzus. I don’t know what kind of demon the pink one is, but I’m pretty sure she made a pancake explode. That shouldn’t even be possible.”
“There’s two pink ones,” Cementoss corrects, quietly.
“Well only one of them made a pancake explode, Ken, so I think you can extrapolate from that!”
“They’re definitely feral,” Yurei puts in, apologetically, even as she confiscates the kitchen knife the kids have been playing a surprisingly-smooth game of catch with.
“…I want a raise.” Nedzu looks neither fazed nor surprised by Eraser’s demand.
“You’re all already getting one. It’s only fair, since we’ll be housing the kids on campus, that your salaries reflect your new responsibilities.”
tired dad: 3. Similarly, while egging others’ houses is not vigilantism, it is still against the law.
tired dad: On an unrelated note, be informed that Endeavor has a state-of-the-art security system, which only a handful of people are capable of hacking, and is very easily offended.
The classroom is quieter than it has ever been, when Shouta steps into their homeroom after refusing Endeavor entry.
“Now, I know at least five of you are more than capable of either overriding this security system or otherwise incapacitating it, so why the hell does Endeavor have footage of what may or may not be my entire class egging his house?”
tired dad: a) No, it is not against the law to egg your own house.
tired dad: b) It is also not against the law to provide your friends with eggs.
“Hypothetically–“ Nothing good ever happens when one of his Hell Class starts theorising. “–if I egged my own house, could I be arrested for that?” Shouto asks it so sincerely, straight-faced and all, one hand still raised in the air politely.
Shouta raises an eyebrow. The boy doesn’t even blink.
“…no.” Another hand shoots into the air, immediately. “Yaoyorozu.” Shouta – narrowly – manages not to sigh.
“Hypothetically, sensei–“ Yeah, that’s how he thought it was going to start. “–if I gave Shouto eggs, could I be arrested for that?”
Izuku’s father returns to his life on a Tuesday. Cat will never forget Inko’s screams.
“Inko, sweetheart, I really don’t want to have to kill you,” Zen Shigaraki – All For One – warns, as Inko struggles against his grip. “He’s only a tool, darling, you have to see that. The little Rabbit, well… he’s got a greater purpose than all this.” Izuku shivers, in All For One’s grip.
“LET MY BOY GO!” Pull is a powerful quirk when used correctly. And Inko has had forty years to perfect it, the very bones and blood vessels beneath All For One hand working in her favour, untangling from Izuku’s arm, until he growls, snatching her up by the throat with his other hand.
“Let them go!” Cat plunges into the room, blindly furious, and it alarms All For One enough that she manages to bury her bo staff in his gut, gives Himiko the chance to wrench Izuku and his mother out of the bastard’s grip.
“Why, you little–“
“Run!” Cat hisses, as she and Himiko bundle the Midoriyas along.
“Oh, no you don’t!” They’re not sure what Quirk he uses, but every muscle in their body freezes at All For One’s command – from the tips of their wings to their tail to their toes. He flicks his hand, drags them all back into the room. “If it isn’t the little abomination… I thought the Commission got ahold of you?”
“Getting a hold and keeping it are two different things,” they spit, writhing against the ice-touch of his Quirk. He chuckles.
“Clearly. Still, you disappoint me. I took you, in trained you–“
“–handed me over to my torturers as a distraction so you could escape,” Cat interrupts, glowering, as lightning lances around their skin in a desperate attempt to break free. “Don’t play the victim, you rancid old bastard.”
“There’s no need to be rude,” All For One tuts, and the grip of his Quirk tightens enough to hurt. “Now, Izuku–“ He’s interrupted by a burst of blue flame and the Quirk releases, dropping them all from the air. Cat manages to get ahold of Izuku, shove him towards the door, where Himiko is already stumbling towards Touya, but–
“Let me go!” Inko’s voice rings out, hoarse and terrified. “Hisashi, please, just let us go!” The clearing smoke stings against their eyes as they turn back, burns in their throat, but Izuku’s shouting for his mother aches more.
“Little Rabbit,” All For One intones, as Inko kicks, feet dangling in the air. “Why don’t you come over here, and I’ll let your precious mother go?” Cat’s wings fly out to block Izuku before he can step forward.
“No!” Inko thrashes, turns wide eyes to the gaggle of armed and anxious children in the doorway. “Izuku, run!”
“Mum, I’m not leaving you,” Izuku snaps back, straightening his spine. “Cat, let me go–“
“I’m sorry, baby.” Inko turns teary green eyes on the other three. “Take Izuku and go. Please.”
“Inko, dear, I didn’t want to do this.” There’s something genuinely sad in All For One’s voice.
“Run!” Cat hisses, shoving Izuku out the door.
“We could have been great, don’t you see?” There’s a sickening snap as they cross the threshold, and Cat can only look back to find helpless, glassy eyes fixed on her, as Touya immediately shields Izuku’s eyes, yanking him down the corridor.
Of all the reactions Shouta has experienced to his Quirk, outright laughter is not one of them.
“Oh, Eraser, you should see your fucking face right now!” If not for the feral flashing of teeth as they laugh, the way they are so clearly at home in the shadows, he thinks the one with the mop of golden hair would remind him of someone. Someone else blond and blue-eyed and smiling.
He shakes his head. He’s been spending too much time with people cooing over how much one of the latest batch of UA hopefuls resembles All Might and it’s starting to get to him. That’s all. Not every golden smile is the Number One Hero’s and he’s back-checked Toogata’s father, who is very much an accountant and not All Might.
He activates his Quirk once more just to make sure, and this time, even the anxious little green one snickers.
“That’s not going to do anything, Eraser-san,” Green offers, more politely than their cackling comrade.
“No, no, keep going. This is the most fun I’ve had since I kicked Fourth Kind’s teeth in.” Shouta had heard about that incident. He’s inclined to agree with Snipe’s dry assessment that the Hero had, in fact, had it coming.
He’s not about to tell these two troublemakers that.
“You can’t both be Quirkless.” Cat-Might’s tail flicks in amusement. “I can see your Quirk.“
“Well, nice as it was to have you drop by, Eraserhead,” Green chirps, brightly, as Shouta’s eyes burn. “We’d best be off.”
“Wait-“ Before he can even finish his protest, his eyes slip shut against his will and the shadows of the alleyway close in around them and the two vigilantes disappear. “…that’s two Quirks. So how-?”
tired dad: 2. While your free time is your own, understand that you are still representatives of UA. Therefore, if we are alerted of any activities unbecoming of a UA student, we may take disciplinary action.
tired dad: a) Yes, vigilantism is an activity unbecoming of a UA student.
Cat becomes aware of sound before the others, golden ears flicking towards the shadows, followed by slit-pupilled eyes. There, crouched in the shadows, are two of their classmates, being hurriedly shushed by Bakugou.
«Are they really?» Mei questions, through the comms, having apparently tuned in through Cat’s visor.
«Yeah,» Cat grins, a flash of sharp teeth that has the five students wincing, «Yeah they are.» It looks away, before Shouta looks back at her. Snitches and stitches and all that.
“Are we going in, or what?”
“We’re waiting for-“
“Ow!”
“Fuck!” The chorus of startled exclamations cuts Shouta off, with a sigh, and they all turn to face the approaching hero and the band of idiots he’s stumbled across.
“What in hell are y’all doin’ here?” Snipe demands, catching Sero and Kaminari by the collar, at the same time as Shouta’s scarf snaps out to capture the third troublemaker.
tired dad: b) No, it does not matter that your classmates are in our Vigilante Reformation Course.
“If my girlfriend is allowed to be a vigilante, why aren’t I?” Ochaco pouts, glaring over the top of Aizawa’s restraining scarf. Aizawa pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Himiko is not allowed to be a vigilante either, Uraraka. She’s in the reformation course for a reason.”
tired dad: c) Just because you are not using your Quirks or do not have a Quirk does not mean you cannot be arrested for other offences, including but not limited to assault, obstruction of justice, or wasting police time.
“Oji-sensei, to be clear,” Tenya argues, chopping arm absent only because it’s held down by the capture scarf. “We never used our Quirks, so this technically does not constitute an act of vigilantism.”
“Tenya, I just watched you punch a man in the throat. Tsuyu threw that woman off a roof,” Shouta deadpans, looking exhausted. Tenya, at least, has the decency to look scolded. Tsuyu shrugs.
“She kicked Cat’s sore knee,” she reasons, unrepentant.
“That’s a compelling argument, Eraserdad,” Izuku backs her up, with a grin. The look Shouta shoots him, then, would have even most pro-Heroes cowering.
tired dad: 1. Reenacting battle manoeuvres you saw performed by the Reformation students because they “look cool” is not an acceptable explanation for property damage and multiple members of the class or other students being injured.
“Catapult!” Himiko calls, and four bodies snap into action.
Himiko herself, sprinting towards the edge of the fake-rooftop she’d been standing on. Shouto, stomping his foot and sending a glacier splitting across the field, with Hitoshi and Izuku in close pursuit, hurtling up it with the skates snapping out of the soles of their boots.
They come to the top and jump, just as Himiko does, one end of each of their capture scarves lashing out to tangle together between them, the other end searching for the edge of the nearest building.
Himiko lands neatly on the knot with a single foot, pinning it to the ice-ramp for just long enough for the two boys to land on their respective buildings and yank, hard, on the capture scarf, right as Himiko lifts her foot and grabs Shouto’s hand, sending both kids and the capture scarves flying forward.
Naturally, the two backflip midair, never releasing each other’s hands, because they’re showoffs at heart, before landing in a roll on the rooftop, all four students turning to Aizawa with smug grins.
Even as he offers begrudging congratulations, Aizawa knows this will come back to haunt him.
“Catapult!” Sero’s call is far too familiar, and the vigilantes all look up, as Kaminari and Sato bolt into action.
Kaminari has taken the role of Himiko, bolting full-pelt for the edge of the fake-roof, while Shouto’s role has been excluded entirely. Sato and Sero take Hitoshi and Izuku’s roles, racing up a makeshift rubble ramp, each holding one end of a lengthening stretch of Sero’s tape.
Kaminari jumps before Sato and Sero do, and Shouta’s gut wrenches, as he lunges forward, the vigilantes beside him doing the same.
He’s not going to make it–
Ice shoots around them, making Shouta skid and stumble, but the vigilantes keep their feet, simply tapping their heels together and skating forward on the blades that unfold from the soles of their boots.
Izuku is first to react, but Cat’s speed and shadows stretch the furthest, so it’s Cat that catches Kaminari, closing him in tendril of darkness and hauling him back to her in midair. Izuku and Hitoshi, meanwhile, catch Sato and Sero in their own capture scarves, dragging them back to the safety of the ground.
“Are you okay, Dad-sensei?” Shouto is standing over him, looking mildly concerned. “I apologise, I did not mean to make you slip.”
“I’m fine,” Shouta sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looks up at the three chastened students and their half-frantic rescuers, checking each of the idiots over with more concern than he feels their stupidity warrants.
“You three–” They cringe, at least, and that brings him some assurance. “–almost weren’t. That was a spectacularly foolish manoeuvre. The Hellions have a lot more experience than you three, and have had longer to train together. That kind of manoeuvre requires you to know and trust one another not blindly, but with assurance.”
He lets Shouto help him to his feet, scowling at his whole class.
“This goes for all of you – stop trying to reenact the reformation students’ moves. You’ll all find your own pace and your own style, copying theirs is more likely to end with you hurt than it is to help your training.”
tired dad: a) Reenacting anything you see the Reformation students do without explicit instruction is banned.
“You should’ve seen it!” Kaminari is enthusing, in English, Tsunotori looking up at him with wide eyes. “He was like… like WHAM!” Before Shouta can interrupt, Kaminari’s foot shoots up in an amateur replication of the flying kick Cat had performed earlier.
“FUck!” He collides bodily with the bin, and it’s only Shouta’s capture scarf that prevents him from continuing into the wall and then to the ground with it, and he squeaks as his teacher yanks him backwards.
“Let’s keep that for the training rooms,” Shouta sighs, letting Kaminari find his feet again, as a far-too-amused Hitoshi sets the bin to rights.
“Am I in trouble?” Kaminari asks, voice far too small for the usually-rambunctious boy.
“Just pick up that rubbish and we’ll call it even,” Shouta answers, unusually merciful, which has nothing to do with the way Hitoshi is looking at the boy like he’d performed the stupid manoeuvre purely for his amusement.
“Don’t do it again.” He’s already pulling out his phone as he walks away, opening up the group chat Nedzu had created for the first year hero course.
“Well, we call ourselves Eraserhead,” Izuku offers, and the lady blinks at him. “But Eraserhead calls us ‘you little hellions stop stealing my identity’, so… you know, it’s kind of up for debate.”
