tired dad: 3. Similarly, while egging others’ houses is not vigilantism, it is still against the law.
tired dad: On an unrelated note, be informed that Endeavor has a state-of-the-art security system, which only a handful of people are capable of hacking, and is very easily offended.
The classroom is quieter than it has ever been, when Shouta steps into their homeroom after refusing Endeavor entry.
“Now, I know at least five of you are more than capable of either overriding this security system or otherwise incapacitating it, so why the hell does Endeavor have footage of what may or may not be my entire class egging his house?”
tired dad: a) No, it is not against the law to egg your own house.
tired dad: b) It is also not against the law to provide your friends with eggs.
“Hypothetically–“ Nothing good ever happens when one of his Hell Class starts theorising. “–if I egged my own house, could I be arrested for that?” Shouto asks it so sincerely, straight-faced and all, one hand still raised in the air politely.
Shouta raises an eyebrow. The boy doesn’t even blink.
“…no.” Another hand shoots into the air, immediately. “Yaoyorozu.” Shouta – narrowly – manages not to sigh.
“Hypothetically, sensei–“ Yeah, that’s how he thought it was going to start. “–if I gave Shouto eggs, could I be arrested for that?”
tired dad: 2. While your free time is your own, understand that you are still representatives of UA. Therefore, if we are alerted of any activities unbecoming of a UA student, we may take disciplinary action.
tired dad: a) Yes, vigilantism is an activity unbecoming of a UA student.
Cat becomes aware of sound before the others, golden ears flicking towards the shadows, followed by slit-pupilled eyes. There, crouched in the shadows, are two of their classmates, being hurriedly shushed by Bakugou.
«Are they really?» Mei questions, through the comms, having apparently tuned in through Cat’s visor.
«Yeah,» Cat grins, a flash of sharp teeth that has the five students wincing, «Yeah they are.» It looks away, before Shouta looks back at her. Snitches and stitches and all that.
“Are we going in, or what?”
“We’re waiting for-“
“Ow!”
“Fuck!” The chorus of startled exclamations cuts Shouta off, with a sigh, and they all turn to face the approaching hero and the band of idiots he’s stumbled across.
“What in hell are y’all doin’ here?” Snipe demands, catching Sero and Kaminari by the collar, at the same time as Shouta’s scarf snaps out to capture the third troublemaker.
tired dad: b) No, it does not matter that your classmates are in our Vigilante Reformation Course.
“If my girlfriend is allowed to be a vigilante, why aren’t I?” Ochaco pouts, glaring over the top of Aizawa’s restraining scarf. Aizawa pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Himiko is not allowed to be a vigilante either, Uraraka. She’s in the reformation course for a reason.”
tired dad: c) Just because you are not using your Quirks or do not have a Quirk does not mean you cannot be arrested for other offences, including but not limited to assault, obstruction of justice, or wasting police time.
“Oji-sensei, to be clear,” Tenya argues, chopping arm absent only because it’s held down by the capture scarf. “We never used our Quirks, so this technically does not constitute an act of vigilantism.”
“Tenya, I just watched you punch a man in the throat. Tsuyu threw that woman off a roof,” Shouta deadpans, looking exhausted. Tenya, at least, has the decency to look scolded. Tsuyu shrugs.
“She kicked Cat’s sore knee,” she reasons, unrepentant.
“That’s a compelling argument, Eraserdad,” Izuku backs her up, with a grin. The look Shouta shoots him, then, would have even most pro-Heroes cowering.
tired dad: 6. Crawling through the vents to terrorise members of the faculty or student body who have offended you is not an appropriate pass time, regardless of what Nedzu says.
tired dad: 1. Reenacting battle manoeuvres you saw performed by the Reformation students because they “look cool” is not an acceptable explanation for property damage and multiple members of the class or other students being injured.
“Catapult!” Himiko calls, and four bodies snap into action.
Himiko herself, sprinting towards the edge of the fake-rooftop she’d been standing on. Shouto, stomping his foot and sending a glacier splitting across the field, with Hitoshi and Izuku in close pursuit, hurtling up it with the skates snapping out of the soles of their boots.
They come to the top and jump, just as Himiko does, one end of each of their capture scarves lashing out to tangle together between them, the other end searching for the edge of the nearest building.
Himiko lands neatly on the knot with a single foot, pinning it to the ice-ramp for just long enough for the two boys to land on their respective buildings and yank, hard, on the capture scarf, right as Himiko lifts her foot and grabs Shouto’s hand, sending both kids and the capture scarves flying forward.
Naturally, the two backflip midair, never releasing each other’s hands, because they’re showoffs at heart, before landing in a roll on the rooftop, all four students turning to Aizawa with smug grins.
Even as he offers begrudging congratulations, Aizawa knows this will come back to haunt him.
“Catapult!” Sero’s call is far too familiar, and the vigilantes all look up, as Kaminari and Sato bolt into action.
Kaminari has taken the role of Himiko, bolting full-pelt for the edge of the fake-roof, while Shouto’s role has been excluded entirely. Sato and Sero take Hitoshi and Izuku’s roles, racing up a makeshift rubble ramp, each holding one end of a lengthening stretch of Sero’s tape.
Kaminari jumps before Sato and Sero do, and Shouta’s gut wrenches, as he lunges forward, the vigilantes beside him doing the same.
He’s not going to make it–
Ice shoots around them, making Shouta skid and stumble, but the vigilantes keep their feet, simply tapping their heels together and skating forward on the blades that unfold from the soles of their boots.
Izuku is first to react, but Cat’s speed and shadows stretch the furthest, so it’s Cat that catches Kaminari, closing him in tendril of darkness and hauling him back to her in midair. Izuku and Hitoshi, meanwhile, catch Sato and Sero in their own capture scarves, dragging them back to the safety of the ground.
“Are you okay, Dad-sensei?” Shouto is standing over him, looking mildly concerned. “I apologise, I did not mean to make you slip.”
“I’m fine,” Shouta sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looks up at the three chastened students and their half-frantic rescuers, checking each of the idiots over with more concern than he feels their stupidity warrants.
“You three–” They cringe, at least, and that brings him some assurance. “–almost weren’t. That was a spectacularly foolish manoeuvre. The Hellions have a lot more experience than you three, and have had longer to train together. That kind of manoeuvre requires you to know and trust one another not blindly, but with assurance.”
He lets Shouto help him to his feet, scowling at his whole class.
“This goes for all of you – stop trying to reenact the reformation students’ moves. You’ll all find your own pace and your own style, copying theirs is more likely to end with you hurt than it is to help your training.”
tired dad: a) Reenacting anything you see the Reformation students do without explicit instruction is banned.
“You should’ve seen it!” Kaminari is enthusing, in English, Tsunotori looking up at him with wide eyes. “He was like… like WHAM!” Before Shouta can interrupt, Kaminari’s foot shoots up in an amateur replication of the flying kick Cat had performed earlier.
“FUck!” He collides bodily with the bin, and it’s only Shouta’s capture scarf that prevents him from continuing into the wall and then to the ground with it, and he squeaks as his teacher yanks him backwards.
“Let’s keep that for the training rooms,” Shouta sighs, letting Kaminari find his feet again, as a far-too-amused Hitoshi sets the bin to rights.
“Am I in trouble?” Kaminari asks, voice far too small for the usually-rambunctious boy.
“Just pick up that rubbish and we’ll call it even,” Shouta answers, unusually merciful, which has nothing to do with the way Hitoshi is looking at the boy like he’d performed the stupid manoeuvre purely for his amusement.
“Don’t do it again.” He’s already pulling out his phone as he walks away, opening up the group chat Nedzu had created for the first year hero course.
tired dad: 9. Cat, stop appearing out of improbable places to initiate “impromptu sparring lessons”. The rest of you, stop participating.
“Spar!” Izuku backflips, catching Cat under their chin with the toe of his boot as they leap from the top of the stairwell. They hiss, springing back, only to dart forward and tackle Izuku to the ground, the two of them going down in a wrestle.
“This is very unseemly behaviour!” Tenya scolds, from above, but neither of them are paying attention.
“It’s training!” Himiko defends, from even further up, draped over Ochaco’s shoulders to watch the fight. “Constant vigilance and all that.”
“Spar!” Kaminari squeaks, electricity sparking out of his palms as Cat drops from the tree above him. “Quirkless!”
The power sizzles out into the grass, leaving behind scorched footprints but leaving Kaminari no worse for wear.
Cat beams up at him. “Look at that improvement!”
“It’s the shoes.”
“The shoes are tools. You’re the one using them.”
“Spar!” Toshinori spits blood at the instruction, but he isn’t the victim. Togata, at his side, spins, readies himself for a fight. Cat beams, sharp teeth flashing as they dangle from the ceiling.
“Better get out ‘the way, Yagi-san.”
“Spar!” Ashido practically pirouettes out of reach as Cat lunges from behind the lockers, one leg flinging out to catch the former? vigilante around the ribs. “Ow, fuck, good job.”
“Cat. Why are there desks thrown around the room?” Shouta asks, tiredly.
“Spar!” Dark Shadow squawks, startled, as Cat drops from the vents to land on Tokoyami’s desk. They jump back from the shadow’s instinctive strike, landing on the ground in front of the desk and grinning at Tokoyami and Dark Shadow.
“Training!” Cat answers, cheerfully, setting the desk closest to her back into place.
“Spar!” Mei flings a bomb in the direction of Cat’s voice and he catches it, goes to toss it back, only for it to explode into a splatter of glitter glue, sticking the metal casing firmly to his hand. “Oh, you bitch.”
“Spar!” Kirishima startles out of the way of Cat’s first strike, dropping his school bag as he goes.
“School is over!”
“Villains don’t care!” Cat answers, cheerfully. “And neither do I. You’re pouting.”
“No I’m not,” he protests, striking half-heartedly back at them.
“Yeah, you are. You think you’re not good enough.” The words hurt more than the too-light taps they deliver to his weak defence. “But you will be. You’re just a kid.”
“So are you!” This time, he puts the frustration of his words behind his punch, and, to his horror, it catches Cat on the jaw. She stumbles back, spits a mouthful of blood, and then grins back at him.
“That’s more fucking like it. C’mon, Kiri, only reason I’m as good as I am is ‘coz I fight like that everyday. Are you gonna do that, or are you gonna sulk on home like a kicked puppy?”
He narrows his eyes at the goading, but resets his stance, readies himself for a proper fight, and its feral smile widens.
“There’s our unbreakable boy.”
It’s the day lunch ends with a human-sized crater in the cafeteria that Shouta draws the line.
“Spar!” Hitoshi slides the tray from under his plates and frisbees it in the direction of Cat’s voice, only for her to duck, and the tray to smack directly into the side of Katsuki’s head.
“What the fuck?!” The blond explodes to his feet, air filling with the scent of burnt caramel.
“Truce?” Cat dodges the first explosion with a flip, skidding into Hitoshi’s space. Hitoshi eyes the approaching firebrand skeptically.
“Sure.” Katsuki screams forward, and Hitoshi isn’t actually 100% convinced he’s not propelled by his voice just as much as his fucking explosions. Cat drops, slides forward to take out his knees, making him faceplant into the tiles, rather anti-climactically.
“It’s meant to be Quirkless sparring, Pop Rocks,” she jeers, as Katsuki growls into the floor. “Or are you weak enough to be completely reliant on your Quirk?”
tired dad: 23. Stop saying you’re fine when you’re not. Please. We have first aid kits, Cat, and both Wrath and Doc are available for under the table treatment.
#1 grandma: a) If I get called out to find one of you half dead because you hid your injuries, I will be very disappointed.
aizawas cryptid son: o u c h
tin can man: 5. Yaoyorozu & Cat, stop giving Mei materials.
Majima surveys the smoking wreckage in his lab, the familiar head of pink dreds bouncing in amongst the debris, unbothered by the still-smouldering embers.
“Mei… why did that explosion also silence all sound within a 7 foot radius, including itself?”
tired dad: a) Hatsume, if I ever find proof that it was you who replaced the staffroom coffee with decaf as retaliation for discouraging your classmates from providing you with illicit and potentially deadly materials for your inventions, you will suffer greatly.
